Chapter 3

~*~1 month later~*~

“Listen to me Frank; I’m not going to continue this game you have built up. There is absolutely nothing going on, but no, that’s not enough for you. Now you have people follow me, follow me! That sounds stupid when you say it out loud.” I walked away from Joss and let her roam free in the Prada store. Personally, not my style but the shoes are always awesome.

Frank rattled on and on, that’s when I saw him.

Tony.

I’ve been seeing him everywhere I went these days. He was invading my dreams; he was standing on street corners, on platforms while I took the train. He was everywhere, every time I looked back or something rushed in front of him he would be gone in the next second. It felt like movie clips, like I was putting him there in my own mind.

It was slowly driving me insane, Frank wouldn’t let up.

Joey this and Joey that. He just didn’t want to really get that it was okay, and if he would just get off the gas, we would be, okay. As okay, as okay could be.

Joey changed a lot; it was hard not to float to him, not to float to the happiness that came from every part of his body. He was just so happy to see me sometimes. It felt good to have someone want me like that. I know Frank wanted me, but it wasn’t like Joey.

Joey’s had always been genuine and was reciprocated; Frank’s was genuine and accepted it wasn’t the same.

“FRANK!” I shouted, few stopped and looked at me. I shook my head clearing my mind. “I got to go Joss; I’ll just talk to you later.” I grabbed my bag and walked out the glass doors of Prada. “Listen to me Frank; it’s not going to work. It’s not going to work.” I said stopping and emphasizing the words. “All this time, I’ve been trying to think about us and how it’s going to work with Joey being around. Well guess what? I’m not going to fight that feeling anymore. Joey’s… he’s the one I want. Right, now. Not you. Bye Frank.” I sighed and closed the phone. I looked up into the sky and the day had got to a little dark, a small cool breeze swished passed, the city didn’t stop but it felt like I should be at home…

In his arms, talking, wrestling, laying down, and enjoying the feel of his warmth just wrap around me.

I made up my mind; I would just show up at his house.

He’d been bugging me for weeks to stop by, at least that would be my rationalization. I waved down a cab, I looked up as it stopped to touch the curb, and I ignored him this time as I caught a glimpse of him as I got into the taxi.

Tony was not going to distract me now.

~*~Joey’s front door~*~

I looked around the stoop. This apartment thing was different; I had to ring a bell.

Duh, Mari.

I pressed the buzzer before I could lose my nerve.

“Yo!” His voice was pleasant and peppy.

“Hey… it’s me, Mari.” I held onto the doorway while the buzzing from the lock on the door sounded.

“Come on up.” His voice was a little rushed but I could tell he was jittery. I smiled and made my way into the building, there was only on stair case and it lead upstairs.

“HEY! I’m so happy you’re here!” He grabbed me into a hug before I hit the last stair.

“Hey!” I struggled to get the words out; he set me down gently and eyed me up and down.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He seemed to be taking and inventory of me and was satisfied when he didn’t see anything wrong.

“I just… I need you to do something for me Joe? Please?” I asked setting my bag on the ground, I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached for my pants. “Take the sexual part out of it Joe. Just hold me please?” I didn’t wait for him to answer as I pulled off my pants.

I walked past him holding onto his fingers and pulled him to his big, comfy looking black couch. I pushed him onto the couch and straddled his legs.

He swallowed deeply. “I think it’s better-better to keep my pants on… I-I just… I’m a little…” He rambled but slowly came to a stop as he focused on something else; I saw the wheels turning in his head while he tried to think unsexy thoughts.

“I understand, I’m sure it’s not easy. I feel the same way, I get near you baby and it’s like fire.” I reached for the bottom of my shirt and pulled it up slowly. He stopped me before I could pull it over my chest.

“Wait, I got to say something, I know there’s something I’m supposed to say… Frank. Frank!” I held the shirt over my chest.

“There has just been you. I think you know that better than me.” I swallowed the lump again and pulled off my shirt, his gaze went immediately elsewhere and made no attempt to touch me. “Please Joe…” I reached for his shirt and he grabbed my hand before I could pull it up.

“Don’t do this to me; I’m not ready for this. I can’t have you take it away.” The thoughts rolled in my head while I held my ground. I wasn’t going to leave; I didn’t want to leave, to be with Frank in that, fast moving relationship.

I held my breasts in my arm while I moved to undo the strap on my back, he watched me this time. I moved slowly, at least that’s how it felt, slowly I unwound my arms from the straps tossing the bra aside.

“I’m sorry it took so long.” I whispered and reached for his shirt again, this time he shot up and pulled it off, he leaned back against the couch; the thong underwear seemed smaller now that I was naked on top of him, his arms wrapped around me and he sighed too.

It was natural, it was… safe.

The way his hands caressed my back, my body, my face. He was admiring me without even looking.

This was home.