Chapter 8
~Diary entry~
All I remember was coming into the house…I heard the gunshot but not in our house, he knew how I felt about guns in the house.
I didn’t want to open the door, people are wrong it’s not slow motion it’s- it’s so fast it feels like a flash. All I remember was the blood… so much blood on the floor it was in a puddle, it was all around him, it looked like his chest had been blasted open, I saw a hole and a lot of red.
I didn’t think things like that were possible. I was so naive. It wasn’t like in the movies; it just oozed out into a puddle around his beautiful body, and I just sat there.
I was on the ground… Manuel was shouting at me but I couldn’t hear him anymore, I slumped onto my haunches and watched him. He didn’t move, I prayed for some type of movement and then in a flash they were in front of me. They just kept shouting, men wearing black masks with bullet proof vests, telling me that it was best that I get outside.
HA! Right! I didn’t even get to touch him yet, I had to touch him. I reached for him I screamed for him, for just one last touch. God please it hurt so badly for them to pull me away.
Kicking and screaming. I must have looked like a maniac.
z88;
I held the diary close; I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears and the emotion I felt.
“Mari?” His voice was so clear, it was my beacon. I wiped the water that held onto the rims of my eyes.
“Yeah, give me one second.” I cleared my throat and stood up. I pulled the door open and walked into the room to find him sitting on the bed with my box in his hand.
Stupid.
“I was wondering when this was going to come out…” I pursed my lips and knew then that he knew. He always knew. Never judged, just knew.
“Yeah, it’s just… you know.” He looked at me, holding my gaze then gave me the same lopsided smile that made me happy.
“Yes baby, I know. I get it. You’re keepsakes. I just didn’t think you’d wait so long to tell me. Not that I looked mama, just always curious.” He said tracing the lid of the box with his finger. I stepped towards him and reached out to him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to his body. I could feel his lips on my head and neck, the brushing of his beard was ticklish but I couldn’t pull away.
“Sometimes, it’s like- I want to get past the hard rough exterior you have going and then, sometimes your so open… and trusting I see it in your eyes when you look at me. Like you know it’s right. I love you, no matter what happens in this life I want you to know that. There are no hardships that are to big that would send me away.” He kissed my ear.
“I love you too; you know you have my heart.” I whispered.
“Like you have mine… now didn’t you say something about cakes… and liens…” He shuddered before he said the last word. “…and centerpieces.” I laughed loudly at his martyred expression.
“You don’t have too, I’m sure it will be boring beyond compare.” I giggled when he growled in my ear and swung me into the soft confines of the bed.
“Never have to do anything I don’t want to do, you know that.” His lips went up my neck and towards my right ear; I sighed and moved my hands above my head pushing the box its confines and the diary to the floor.
~*~later that night~*~
“Girl, he’s crazy.” Joss laughed as she applied a thin layer of sparkly lip gloss. My head swirled it felt numb, the cocktails at dinner on top of the cocktails I had when I came in the door had me feeling light hearted. Everything from this morning was not all but forgotten.
“Damn, I left my phone. You want to go with me?” She held onto the handled the music booming through the floor.
“Please… I remembered my phone. I am not going to stand outside in the cold just for the valet.” I shook my head and pulled the door for her.
Marc stood outside the door and pointed me towards the men’s room. I shook my head and turned to read the text message I had just gotten from the caterer.
“WE’LL BE BACK!” I heard Joss yell into my ear. I shook my head without as much as giving her a glance. I re-read what was in the message because the words seemed to jumble the liquor was winding its way through my body and making me slow in my reactions. I shivered when I felt his hot breath on my neck, I put my head on his chest and smiled lightly, I moved to turn but he didn’t let me.
He grabbed my phone and pulled it out of my hands while he wrapped an arm around my waist pushing me into a deeper, darker corner. I smiled to myself, I love this side of him, and this was a game we could both understand.
Once we were into still darkness, with the music booming and vibrating through the floor he lifted me up off the ground, pressing me to the wall. His lips went up my neck, sucking in certain spots that… raised my body heat; it burned in the pit of my stomach. I felt him press his body to me using that to support my weight he groped my body and then his lips found mine.
It was so urgent and hard, his beard tickled my cheeks while his hand found its way between my legs. I gasped pulling off his lips. It was so odd, so… familiar yet different. I couldn’t see clearly but I felt for his face, I ran my fingertips across his lips and cheeks. His hands moved freely and in a second were around me at once, hugging me to his body.
The hug was urgent, strong, and even in its smallest gesture was full of passion as his hands rubbed my back, grabbed my ass and then finally ended up tangled up in my hair. I flicked my tongue across his ear. I’m sure he could hear the sigh of contentment. “I love you, papi.” His arms gripped me tighter and then slowly set me down on the ground.
Suddenly, it got dark and it seemed like I had lost my balance. I could feel my body slump back and go limp. The last real thing I remembered was wondering how that many cocktails made me so tired… woozy. Then I blacked out.
