The clock in the apartment was driving her crazy. With every move of the second hand a quiet but insistent little click sounded. If the place hadn’t been so deathly silent she wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but in the lack of noise it was ringing out like a full set of church bells at midday. It seemed odd that after everything she’d been through in her long life such a small thing would be the one to send her over the edge, but her nerves were badly frayed.

Perhaps being in the silence and stillness was a bad idea. It allowed her inner senses to go on overload. Suddenly she was feeling everything – the mental dam had finally broken and her brain was drowning in the onslaught of rushing thoughts. The aching went down to the bone and it would have been blessed release if her skull chose that moment to explode. Once upon a time she had believed she could take anything, long years had left her convinced of it, but she was finally being proven wrong and it really, really sucked.

Justin shifted slightly and robotically she moved to take the now lukewarm cloth from his forehead. Pressing the back of her knuckles gently to his face, she decided that the fever had gone and there was no need for a replacement. It probably wouldn’t be much longer before he finally woke up, a full day later. Nobody could blame him for sleeping so long after the physical ordeal he’d suffered but she’d been thinking for a couple of hours that waking up was overdue.

Finally he licked his lips and cracked open his eyes, blinking in the light. His brow creased as he frowned at the unfamiliar surroundings.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey. Where am I?”

You’re at a place I keep, kind of my hidey-hole. How you feeling?”

“Like I’m hung over without the fun part the night before. Did Lucas really knock me out or did I dream it?”

She winced. “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“It was the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me. What was that stuff?” He rubbed at the now painless spot on his chest. “Did it work?”

“It worked.” She nodded. “You are mark free.”

“Good.” He sat up against the pillows, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “God I feel stupid. I always laughed at my friends who got into bed with the wrong chick.”

“You couldn’t possibly have known.” Charmian fought to keep the scowl off her face. She really wished she’d had a chance at some payback. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“You warned me about new people though. I was too pig headed to listen.”

“But I gave you the all clear, I should have spotted something was up with her so this one’s on me. Seriously, just forget about it. You didn’t do anything wrong, I fucked up.”

Not wanting to give herself away any more she abruptly got up from her seat and went over to the kitchen area to boil some water for coffee. It was another small apartment so she couldn’t get very far from him, but he couldn’t see it if she was glaring at the kettle.

Justin was trying to take in his surroundings but he was staring more at her than anything else. He couldn’t put his finger on it but somehow she looked different. She was still as beautiful and graceful as ever, but she lacked that otherworldliness that usually intimidated him so much. Maybe it was because she was in jeans and a slouchy sweater looking very ordinary for a change. She was even slouching a little herself, shoulders hunching just a bit. There was also an air of weary defeat about her – as his supposedly heaven appointed guardian that made him nervous.

“So… what was she? I was a little busy freaking when Nate explained it.”

“A succubus.” Justin immediately noticed the cold edge in her voice. She was obviously angry. “They’re this very old race of demons; they’re so old they even show up in a lot of human mythology. They take on whatever form they want to entice men, be whatever you want them to be, and the magic they use shields them better from immortals. We can’t always tell by sight what they are, so for a long time we were on this major quest to hunt them out and we thought we’d killed them all. Guess not.”

He thought dryly to himself that it would be just his luck to fall victim to some rare supernatural predator. Fate was obviously been pissed with him of late. “So the mark?”

“The whole point of them seducing all these men is to brand you with the mark. You can’t see it, but it’s like a homing beacon for demons. It attracts them to you and it makes you much more susceptible to infection or possession. Which is exactly why Anton sent her after you, to pave the way for him.”

“So he could possess me or something?”

“Possibly. I’m not exactly sure but whatever it is it’s not good and to that end I have to ask you to please stop talking to anybody she introduced you to, at least for a while.”

“Done.”

“Huh.” She looked over her shoulder and shot him a small smile. “I was expecting more resistance.”

“So far resisting you has only got me some mystical version of chlamydia. I’m doing everything you say from now on.”

Despite herself, Charmian actually chuckled as she spooned instant coffee into the chipped mugs. “Wow. If I’d known this was all it would take…”

“That’s not funny.”

Pushing back the covers he finally dragged himself out of bed. Stretching out his stiff muscles, Justin looked around the apartment. It was a similar set up to her other place but it lacked all the eclectic decorations. It looked bare and almost kind of sad. There was the minimum of furniture and one lone Monet print on the wall. Padding over to the kitchen area and accepting the mug she offered, he stared at her.

“Seriously, Charmian, I’m sorry. I’ve been kind of a prick.”

“No.” She shook her head, still not looking at him as she added milk and sugar to her cup. Somehow she’d known he took it black. “You’ve been scared and overwhelmed and trying to keep some semblance of your life for yourself while this whole bullshit situation marched in and took over. And I’ve been absent and standoffish and not exactly a help.”

“Not like you can babysit my feelings when you got a world to save.” He shrugged.

“No, but… wait, I don’t mean no I can’t, I…”

“You okay?” For all his complaining about her lack of emotion it was kind of worrying to see her so flustered.

Charmian pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut and nodding. “Sorry, I just, it’s all wrong. You’re still important, I’m your guardian and I’m supposed to be looking after you and instead I’ve been this cold bitch and I just hate this whole fucking thing.”

“Wait… are you crying?”

He couldn’t believe it. Her eyes were glassy and water filled and although none had actually fallen those were definitely tears. The idea of Charmian crying was really quite incredible and Justin almost wanted a chair so he could sit down. He’d been comatose for God only knew how long and yet he actually wanted to be back off his feet.

“You know what? I really don’t know how mortals cope. All these emotions running all over the place and you can’t shut them off or pack them away and then it all comes spilling out whether you want it or not, how the fuck do you do this and not want to shoot yourselves in the head?”

“What, and you immortal types don’t?” Justin’s laugh came out a little strangled. He grabbed a tissue from a slightly dusty box and dabbed at her eyes.

“Avengers are chosen for our ability to compartmentalise and then specifically turned into people who can watch massacres and feel unmoved. Emotions aren’t a big thing.” She batted his hands away and wiped her eyes roughly with the back of her hand. She really did hate crying and it was all she could do to prevent it from happening at the moment.

“You want to know how we mortals cope?”

“Please.”

Justin drew her to him and wrapped his arms around her. For a few seconds she stood there limply, as if she was unsure what the appropriate response was supposed to be, but gingerly she returned the hug. She refused to look at him though.

“Let it out. Shit’ll only come back to bite you in the ass if you don’t.”

“What else is new?” She grumbled before pulling away. Self-consciously she wiped at her nose too, sniffing. “Seriously, I’m thousands of years old and I’ve kicked demon ass from here to Shanghai and I can’t save one guy. And whatever I try to do I make it worse. I mean, I thought I was doing you a favour hanging back and I got you marked by some bitch who’s supposed to be extinct. I am the world’s worst guardian, it’s no wonder you keep dying.”

Justin cringed. “Can we not remind me of how many times I’ve died? I can deal with the whole reincarnation-there-really-is-heaven-and-hell thing but I’m finding the whole premature death part a little tougher.”

Before Charmian could answer him, Nathaniel chose the moment to materialise out of nowhere and scare them both half to death.

“Knock, much?” She complained.

“You will not take that tone with me, Charmian, you’re lucky I was there to save your hide. Everybody else would be obliged to tell Michael where you are.”

Justin was confused. He thought he was Michael. Was there another Michael?

“But you were and I remain undetected. All is well.”

“All is well?” Justin was confused by Nate’s obvious anger. He’d never seen the guy do anything except mildly amused calm and wisdom. “The avengers are in disarray, Lucas is battling to keep Alexander from assuming command and Michael’s first order has been to find you. How is that well?”

“What’s going on?” He asked in bewilderment. Nate’s gaze immediately swivelled to him.

“She hasn’t told you.”

“Told me what?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You’ve been stripped of your powers, made mortal and are now being hunted by the global population of avengers, hardly nothing Charmian. That’s before we even start on what’s going to happen when the news that you’re human gets back to the pit.”

“WHAT?”

“It’s nothing!” She insisted.

“But… but… mortal?” That explained it. That was what was different about her. Of course after so many years her body still moved in certain ways but without that magically gifted strength and agility she was just an ordinary human being. That was what was missing. She no longer seemed otherworldly because she was no different from anybody else.

Then he wondered how the hell she was supposed to protect him from demons if she was human.

“I made sure this place was covered in sigils both for the demons and for avengers.  Heck, if he hadn’t stripped my powers even I wouldn’t have been able to step in here. If you think about it he maybe did me a favour, least I can keep a proper eye on him now with no other duties to distract me.”

“Charmian,” Nate exclaimed irritably, “I don’t think you’re treating this with quite the gravity it deserves. The only reason you were able to escape is that I was present and I am not an avenger. Your team can no longer help you, they’re bound to Michael and he’s threatened them with unimaginable things if they dare assist you. He was threatening me with all sorts of unrepeatables for removing you and refusing him your whereabouts. You really are very lucky that he has no authority over me.”

“Sorry that I don’t have time to be concerned with all your worries but I’m a bit busy trying to handle the whole human thing, do you know how many hormones and emotions and stupid crap these people have to deal with?” She jerked a thumb at Justin. “I take back everything I ever said about them being stupid; it’s clearly not their fault.”

“But…”

“But what, Nate?” She threw her hands up in the air. “What am I supposed to do? The bastard acted like everything was all fine and then decided to go ape shit and take my powers. I have no right to appeal, I can’t get them back, lucky for me you got me out and now all I can do is work with what I got. I could stand here wailing about it or I can just try to get on with it. Which I am doing, even though these stupid emotions are getting in my damn way.”

“Charmian.” Justin swore he could almost see the steam coming out of Nate’s ears. “You were immortal, now you’re not. Your entire existence has been your position as head avenger, now it’s not. You really cannot pretend that’s so easily brushed aside.”

“I don’t have a fucking choice, Nate.” Great, the tears were threatening again. Were all human women like this, on the verge of waterworks half the time? “I will say it again – I. Can’t. DO anything about it. I sit here and wallow and feel sorry for myself I’m only going to make things worse. Now, can you please do something more useful than yelling at me and ask Micah if he’ll come see me later?”

Nate disappeared as abruptly as he’d entered, and silence fell. Justin felt awkward as hell. He was scared, he was worried, this whole thing where Charmian was expressing quite a wide range of emotions was very new and difficult to grasp; he was floundering. She was biting her lip, glaring intently into space and ever so slightly shaking.

“Can we try that whole hug thing again? You said it helps?”

Wordlessly he acquiesced. It was extremely uncomfortable, but he didn’t know what else he could say or do.

“So how long before it’s supposed to work?” She asked hopelessly. She could put on as much bravado for Nate as she wanted but she felt like a helpless little child - and for somebody who was used to being one of the biggest bad asses in existence that was sickening.

Justin let out a sad chuckle. And he’d thought he had problems when he woke up in that bed. “No telling. It’s not one hundred percent.”

“It’s so weird. I remember my human life… I mean, the first one, but I’d forgotten how it feels. Everything’s so muddled.”

He wasn’t sure what moved him to do it, but he pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “Welcome to our world. It sucks.”

“I just don’t know what to do.”

“We spend most of our lives that way. You get used to it.”

Charmian pulled away uncomfortably. There was yet another stupid thing her emotions were doing – she did not need to be torturing herself by getting close to him. She really did hate being mortal so far. It seemed to have little to recommend it.

“I’ll still keep you safe. I promise.”

“How about we just start off with fed? You wanna go for breakfast?”

“But if you leave here you’re unprotected.”

“You’ll be with me, right?”

She looked at him doubtfully. She wasn’t sure how protective her presence was any more. “Yes…”

“Then come on. Let’s go try being human on for size.”