“It is not your wish, Charlotte?”

Charmian sighed and stared at the floor. Idly she noticed that water had started seeping into the hem of her skirts. The rain had stopped but the roads were still slick with what had fallen. No matter how many times she heard him call her that it felt wrong from his lips; however it was unavoidable. Although her name was classical it was not common in these times and having an unusual name drew needless attention.

“We couldn’t possibly.”

“And why not? It would be entirely possible. Dreadfully simple, even.”

The streets of London were utterly still that night. It was obscenely late – too late really for an un-chaperoned couple to be out and about. She could faintly hear the sound of a horse and carriage in the distance somewhere, but other than that all was quiet. Westminster Abbey stretched above them, gothic and imposing in the moonlight. The glow from the lanterns was dim.

“Not by my understanding of the term.”

“I understand that this is sudden and it may even seem a little rash,” Michael said. His tone was forceful and his eyes glinted in the dark. “But you have quite bewitched me and I have never been more certain of anything in my life as I am that you would make a most excellent wife. Forgive me my presumption but I am also certain you share my affections.”

Her leather glove met the back of her neck and she ducked away from his gaze. Although avengers didn’t really feel temperature the same way as humans did she felt very hot beneath her cloak and bonnet. This had not been the idea. She was watching over him under the guise of having him escort her safely home from the ball; she was supposed to be looking out for demons. She couldn’t afford to be so distracted by his fine suit and the way his soft dark hair was pulled neatly back from his face, brown eyes so determinedly set. Anton had been sighted at the gentleman’s club that Michael and his father were members of and she could not drop her guard. He had taken her by surprise with his proposal. It had been barely a month since they had met in this life.

“It’s just so sudden, Michael, and you know there are expectations that you will be betrothed to the Duke’s daughter.” She mentally scrambled for good excuses. “Your family…”

“Would adjust, I’m sure. The discussion with the Duke is entirely speculation at this stage and a gentleman marrying a gentleman’s daughter is hardly an unfit match. That’s not an answer.”

“I…”

She was interrupted by the rumble of a carriage and approaching hooves behind her. She hadn’t noticed them drawing closer.

“Bit late for you to be out, innit Sir? This isn’t a right place for your fine lady. Might I offer my cab in service to you?”

Charmian turned to view the owner of the Cockney tones and immediately froze. In turn, seeing her wiped the grin off the driver’s face.

“Anton. Trying a new trade, are we?”

“Oh hell.” All trace of the accent was suddenly gone.

“Charlotte, who is this?” Michael asked, giving Anton a look of disdain.

“Don’t suppose you might him up quietly, make it easy on me?”

“Highly doubtful.”

“Charlotte?”

The rest of Michael’s question died in his throat as the sword appeared in her hand.

Charmian’s brain began screaming at her to wake up, warning her that she did not want to finish playing the rest of this scene. She wasn’t going to like the way it ended.

It took a few seconds and for a moment she thought she wasn’t going to manage, but with great effort she managed to wrench her eyes open. In the unfamiliar surroundings it was a minute or so before she remembered where she was and started breathing a little easier. The sheets were damp with sweat. Her hair was sticking to her forehead. Immediately she felt wide awake; there was no way she wanted to go back to sleep where she might resume that dream. Immortals did sleep and have dreams but they didn’t have nightmares the way mortals did. They might see bad things but were unaffected by them. Now being so plagued by her subconscious as she slept was something she was having trouble getting used to. Especially since all her nightmares were replays of memories which weren’t ever far from her mind to begin with. 

Throwing back the sheets she quietly got out of the bed. She wasn’t sure how creaky the wooden boards might be, so she very slowly and painstakingly tiptoed across the floor to grab her cardigan. She put it on and went to exit the room. The door handle squeaked a little and she winced as it did, but the hinge remained quiet as she opened the door. She peered round to check that she hadn’t woken her companion. Justin was sprawled out on the couch, his outline faintly visible in the darkness. From the steady rise and fall of his chest he had to still be sound asleep.

Even the light pad of her feet and swish of material as she moved sounded like klaxons in the silence, but she managed to slip past him and to the table. She groped carefully along the edge where she had left the iPod and thankfully managed to close her fingers around it without further noise. The hinge on the front door wasn’t as co-operative as the one on the bedroom but Justin didn’t appear to have stirred at the sound.

Charmian stepped outside and breathed in deeply. The temperature was a little crisp, but the feel of fresh cool air in her nose and lungs was settling. Sitting herself down on the porch step, she pushed her hair back from her face before putting the headphones in and turning the iPod on. With the small amount of practice earlier she had already become a seasoned pro, so it wasn’t long before the sound of Justin’s latest album started filtering through. Slipping it into her pocket she then wrapped her cardigan more tightly around herself and hugged her arms to her chest, staring out into the trees.

**

Justin’s eyes flew open and he bolted upright. The sheets fell from his bare chest and pooled in his lap, which was just as well because he was sweating. It felt stifling in the room.

It wasn’t the first time he had dreamed about Charmian. He’d had that dream about their little romantic interlude in Prague, and since she’d confirmed they had been there once he was convinced that had to be real. Hopefully tonight’s dream wasn’t real, however, because that one had been horrendous.

Pushing the sheets off completely, he swung his legs off the couch and moved into a sitting position. Briefly his head fell into his hands and he scratched at his scalp fretfully. He’d been oddly aware that he was dreaming yet it still felt as if it was all really happening. He had no idea what century they had been in but clearly it had been before the invention of the motor car. There had been horses and carriages. There had been a ball and they had danced, though not as much as he’d have liked as he was expected to dance with some nobleman’s daughter. Although it was strange to dream of people talking to him while calling him by another name, in the dream he’d very much liked the way Charmian said it. He’d very much liked her with her hair swept from her neck and the rich green of her gown. She’d had another name too.

When her escort had waylaid he had offered to see her safely home, and on the way he’d made a wild declaration of love (or as wild as upper class very proper English people ever got in those days). Before he could get a satisfactory response the demon had appeared. Then he had watched in horror as Charmian fought him, confused and terrified. Clearly he hadn’t known what she was because chief amongst his thoughts had been how she could possibly be fighting. Michael’s reaction to first seeing her fight had been much like Justin’s, although he’d had some pretty sexist thoughts about it that Justin hadn’t. When finally the shock had worn off he’d rushed to protect her and then…

Thankfully he’d woken up before the sword had reached its inevitable destination. He’d never wanted to test the notion that if you died in a dream you died in real life too.

It was remarkably stupid of him, but he wanted to check that she was okay so he got up and crept to the bedroom. It was irrational; it had been a dream. There was no reason she’d be in trouble. The place was demon-proofed and it was highly unlikely any human threat would arise when they were so secluded away from the world. In the dream it had been him not her who got the pointy end of the blade. Yet somehow he still felt the need to look at her face and see that she was alright.

As such, seeing the bed empty made him panic a little bit. A check of the bathroom and the tiny utility room yielded no results, so he strode to the front door and flung it open. It was a massive relief to see her. Nothing had happened to her. She was merely sitting on the porch step with her back to the house.

“Charmian?”

When she didn’t move or answer him, he walked to her side and peered down. Now he could see her face it was obvious that she was listening to something which had drowned him out. As soon as she noticed him she yanked the headphones out and looked up.

“Hey.” She seemed a little startled by his arrival. “Did I wake you or something?”

“No, no.” He sat down next to her, rubbing his hand over his face again. “Weird dreams woke me up.”

She grimaced – him too? “Funny enough that’s what woke me up. Was too hot in there so I figured I’d just come out here and try to wind back down a little.”

“It’s kind of cold out. Do you need a blanket or something?” He touched her hand and from how cool her skin was he could tell she’d been out there for quite some time. She’d probably been out there too long. Although the cardigan she had wrapped around herself was long, she was only wearing a small pair of pyjama shorts and no shoes or socks. Something in the back of his brain registered that she looked very sexy that way, but he was still too freaked out to pay much attention to it.

“Says the guy sitting there without a shirt. I’m fine,” she said.

Justin felt too sheepish to respond to that. “What you listening to?”

Now it was her turn to feel sheepish. She turned the wheel on the iPod so the screen lit up and showed it to him.

“Me again?” That tugged at his stomach. “Thought SexyBack put you off.”

“I really like this album, JT.” She wasn’t looking at him; she was watching her big toe as she dragged it over the grass, drawing shapes with it. “You really are quite the musician.”

“Thank you.” He blushed. “Which ones did you like?”

“The one I was just listening to.” That had been Strawberry Bubblegum. “And the one about the ocean.”

Apparently she was in a very slow tempo kind of mood. He knew that feeling. When his mind didn’t want to stop he found listening to ballads helped more than upbeat stuff. He wasn’t sure if they’d help him banish the thought of a sword in his belly, though.

“Char…” he shifted uncomfortably. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

She looked at him expectantly, and he met her eyes. The brown orbs looked almost black in the lack of light, and he thought to himself that he was glad that they didn’t change colour any more. He really hadn’t liked those visual reminders of how otherworldly she was. They made him feel very far removed from her, just like her strange indifference had. Now that she looked normal, showed normal emotions – well, she was normal now. It felt like they were at least operating on the same playing field.

“Did we…” It was hard to get the words out, he was so unnerved. “Back in my previous lives, were we ever in London?”

It was answer enough when her face became ashen and her shoulders went rigid. “Why?”

“My dream.” If it was possible for her expression to get worse, it did. “We were at this ball…”

“You walked me home and we got attacked.”

“So that really happened?”

Charmian wished she could say no. Not only because she was freaked out by him dreaming of the incident the same night she had, but also because he looked frightened.

“Not only did it happen, I’ve just had the same dream.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I managed to wake myself up and I just came out here because I didn’t want to risk going back to sleep and picking it back up where it left off. How much did you see?”

He dropped his head, staring into his lap. His knees swung from side to side. “I saw which way the sword was heading. Then I woke up.”

There was a hollow ring in his voice. A choked sob escaped her mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will it all away. “I’m sorry.”

“Heh,” he replied wearily, “it’s not like you can control what I dream about.”

That hadn’t been what she meant, and he didn’t realise that until she spoke again. “I should have realised you’d jump in front of me. You’ve always been one for chivalry. I should have warned you that he couldn’t hurt me.”

Justin turned back to look at Charmian but her eyes were glazed over, staring off into the distance without really seeing anything.

“It was just so you, you know. You were always really protective of me and very set on manners and being a gentleman. I doubt you’d have ever let anyone risk themselves for you but you would literally die before you let somebody you cared about do it. And as mad as I was that you found out about me being an avenger there was actually a little voice in my head saying thank fuck because at least you’d know you didn’t have to take a sword for me this time.”

He was about to open his mouth and say something. What stopped him was partly selfish; he wanted her to finally give him this kind of information. Some of it he knew. He knew he was protective of his loved ones and a bit of a stickler for manners (at least the ones he thought mattered). It was good to have her fill in the blanks though, and it was good to finally feel like she really had known him instead of being told so while seeing little evidence of it. The less selfish part came from sensing that she needed to get it off her chest. This was probably the first  time she’d ever been able to tell him that she was sorry, and while he didn’t think he had anything to forgive she clearly felt it.

“It was just always the same. We’d meet, I’d think that maybe it was you and then the second we’d shake hands or whatever I’d get the supernatural confirmation. You’d start trying to woo me in whatever the accepted fashion of the day was and every damn time I’d let it distract me. You’d think I’d have learned that I was getting you killed but I was just too relieved to have you back and too distracted by wanting us to finally be able to have something even though I knew that was impossible. And I got you killed over and over again because I couldn’t do my job. I have a sacred duty to protect you and I’ve failed you over and over, I’m so sorry.”

Tears were streaming down Charmian’s cheeks and while he wanted nothing more than to say something that would stop them, he had nothing. He had no idea what he could say to that.

“I thought… you know I actually thought that it being different this time was a good sign?” She sniffled. The words stopped and started as she forced them out between the lumps in her throat.

“I thought maybe it meant we wouldn’t repeat the cycle again and that I could concentrate on doing my job. Only I’ve fucked that up too and I have no idea how I can win now when I couldn’t before. Nate’s disappeared, I can’t speak to my team and I ran out before I worked out how to keep contacting Alex. And then I’ve had that stupid dream tonight and it’s just reminded me of what it’s like to watch you die. I can’t see that again. I couldn’t even do that again as an immortal, I had to beg them to stop putting us together; God only knows what it would be like now. I need you to be okay, for once in my entire cursed life I just need you to live.”

Leaning forward, she hugged her knees and continued to sob. Justin’s mouth fell open as a wave of understanding hit. With that one speech he now comprehended it completely. Every frustrating and bewildering moment where he couldn’t understand how she could be so indifferent to him, how they could have ever had this epic love when she was so detached, it all came into crystal sharp clarity.

She’d been putting on an act the entire time.

On first meeting her he’d immediately been attracted and had asked her out the first chance he got. He had pursued her, the same as he apparently always had. When he had found out for the first time in all his existences what Charmian was and reacted so badly to it she had used his revulsion to halt that. She’d built a wall and hidden herself behind it with the notion that a change in the pattern might mean a change in the outcome. Justin had completely failed to see it, too busy simultaneously railing against the idea of being destined to love her and yet being confused as to how it could possibly be when she didn’t appear to care. Now as she sat there crying for him and apologising to him as if she was personally responsible for everything that happened, like it was her fault he was Hell’s Most Wanted, he finally got it. He finally got her.

After having bad dreams about losing him, she had come outside and sat listening to his music in the cold. That was not the behaviour of somebody who was as indifferent as he’d pegged her to be.

Justin stood up. For a moment he simply looked down at her cowering form, wondering what he could do for her. There didn’t seem like much he could say. Deciding to go for less talking and more action, he reached down and wordlessly scooped her up. With one hand hooked under her knees and the other around her waist he lifted her up like she was a child. Her body felt small and limp in his arms, seeming lighter than it ought to be for someone her size. Though she let out a confused whimper she didn’t fight him. Her head lolled back against his chest and cold wetness found his skin from her face.

He carried her back into the bedroom and laid her out on the mattress. He smoothed back the dark hair that was sticking to the tears on her cheeks. Then he sat down on the bed himself before pulling the sheets over her and tucking them in beneath her chin.

“You don’t need to apologise,” he finally said after another moment of heavy silence. “All you’ve ever done is try to look after me. But now you’re the one who needs some help because you’re new to this whole human thing and it’s my turn to reciprocate, okay? We’ll get some sleep and this won’t feel so bad in the morning.”

“I don’t want to close my eyes. I don’t want to see that again.”

After considering that for a few seconds Justin pulled the sheets back again and slipped under them. Wriggling down into a more comfortable position, he pulled her body towards his and locked his arms around her. Charmian for her part had stiffened when she realised he was getting in with her, but she wasn’t resisting as her back pressed against his chest. She tried not to remember previous occasions when they’d shared a bed (though those had been relatively few considering how many times they’d become romantically entangled). Justin’s hand stroked Charmian’s hair once more before he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “I’m right here, alive and breathing. You can close your eyes and go to sleep because you know that. That dream is somebody else, another life time, not me and not now. I’m right here and I am not going anywhere.” 

She loved him for that. She loved him so much the weight of it was crushing. Since she couldn’t tell him, she settled instead for resting her hands over his and shutting her eyes as requested.

**

“How much do you love me?”

“About as much as the bubonic plague, sister dear,” Anton answered. It might have sounded like an insult but he’d actually done very well out of that little episode. He loved his sibling as much as any demon was capable. Of course he’d sell her to the wolves before he could blink if it profited him but it was mutual. Neither of them begrudged the other that, they were hell spawn after all. He still trusted her more than anybody else he worked with. “Sounds like the news is good?”

“I told you possessing Lynn Harless was worth it.”

“Do tell.”

When Lillith had suggested taking possession of Justin’s mother Anton had dismissed the idea. Although the two were extremely close he hadn’t considered that of much use to him when she was in Tennessee far away from her son. To his mind there had been nothing he could get from her that he couldn’t get from tailing Justin or listening in on their phone calls when possible. It never hurt to be thorough though so he’d agreed to it anyway. He’d had nothing to lose, since he couldn’t risk possessing Trace or anyone who was hanging around on a daily basis. That would have been his normal tactic but it stopped being smart the moment he realised the avengers had Timberlake on their radar. They’d be watching everyone he hung out with. That was why he had used the succubus – because they weren’t as immediately recognisable as possessed mortals. If the mother had reaped dividends then great; he was always willing to admit when he was wrong.

“Trace called. We finally have an explanation for our boy being AWOL - Justin has apparently been taken into protective custody by the US marshals because there’s a terrorist threat against him.”

Anton leaned forward in his chair, pressing his palms together in front of his mouth as if in prayer (of course the idea of him praying was a little ridiculous). He wasn’t sure why Lillith was looking so incredibly smug. That was not good news.

“US marshals being code for avengers?”

“US marshals being code for avengers,” she said. “Took our little CIA mole all of five minutes to confirm there’s no actual government activity around him so it had to have been them. Presumably this is the latest line they feed mortals they want off the streets.”

“Which begs the question of why I should love you for telling me that.” Anton pursed his mouth and frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s useful to know, but avengers taking my target is not exactly the kind of shit that makes my day.”

“Oh that’s not the good part.” A wicked smile spread across her berry coloured lips.

“Oh?” Now he was interested.

“Charmian’s gone.”

Anton practically flew out of his seat. It felt like he’d been electrocuted. “What?”

“Some of our boys ran into trouble with Alexander’s team – only one lived to tell the tale, but the tale is that they overheard them talking about the full scale search that’s going on. We have no idea where she’s disappeared to but neither do they. From the sound of things they’re in chaos over it. He brought the news straight to me, so naturally I bought his silence and came straight to you.”

Anton rubbed his hand across his mouth, contemplating. His eyes were darting back and forth across the room as his brain frantically worked.

“You’re right sis. I do love you.” He particularly loved the fact that she’d been smart enough to lock down the information. Not only would it be an ace up his sleeve, knowing Charmian was out of play would have emboldened a lot of idiots that he didn’t need getting in his way. “I’d love you more if you could get me a location for her or Justin.”

Lillith mockingly saluted him before vanishing as quickly as she’d appeared. He didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention to her departure. It was if a vast machine had cranked into gear in his head and a million moving parts were whirring and spinning. He started pacing back and forth across the room. It helped him think.

Justin had disappeared. Nobody knew where he was.

Charmian had disappeared. Nobody knew where she was.

Justin and Charmian had been spotted out together previously.

He ran those three thoughts together through his head on repeat. He had already wondered about the significance of Charmian taking guard duty on the boy, an act which seemed like overkill on her part. Now both of them had vanished and clearly whatever she had done was not part of the big plan. Wasn’t that interesting?

It wasn’t a huge stretch to imagine the two disappearances were connected. Justin’s had been particularly suspicious. Anton had made a few pretty painful and expensive bargains to get hold of some major mojo from the pit yet no locator spell he could try had succeeded. That firmly suggested he was being shielded somehow. The avengers certainly had some ability to do that; they had never been able to uncover any of their home bases for that reason. It was a reasonable inference to make.

But how were they connected? Why would Charmian take off with Timberlake without telling anybody? What could be so important?

When finally the lightning bolt moment struck his head snapped up. No longer flicking around the room his eyes were sharply in focus. They were staring heatedly at the mirror opposite. He nodded to himself and his reflection nodded with him, as if to affirm his conclusions. It made sense. It made even more sense if he considered that Justin had disappeared immediately after Delilah had screwed up and paid the price for it. That was a little too much to be a coincidence.

“Well aren’t you just a sneaky little bitch.” He spoke as if Charmian could hear him. “Almost had me fooled.”