It was hard to get used to again. 

For the first few weeks after the tour ended the roar of the crowd at that last show had stayed with him--echoing in his head, convincing him it hadn't just been a dream--but now there was only silence. 

There had been silence once before but this time he knew it was going to stay this way.  It was over.  They'd done what they'd promised they would: they had fulfilled their contract, gotten back together, and given the fans what they wanted--one more album and one last tour.  They'd spent a year, almost, out on the road--trying to make it so everyone who wanted to could come to one of the shows.  It had been different from the last time they'd been on tour, but it had still been incredible.  He had lived for the rush that came with getting up on stage each night and being able to perform with his "brothers" again.  Everyone was older this time around and had gained a lot of experience and maturity with everything that had happened to them in their lives.  The dynamics of the group had changed some over the hiatus they had taken, but the chemistry that the five of them shared when they were singing and performing together was just as strong as it had always been.  But it was over now and as he lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep, he feared that all he was left with now was the silence.

He could feel his demons raising their ugly heads--the old urge to drink and party returning, calling to him, but he fought it back.  He wasn't going to go down that road again.  He didn't want to see the look of disappointment on his friend's and family's faces if he were to give in again.  He was too old to be making the same mistakes he'd made the last time.  This time was going to be different. 

This time he wasn't going to let the silence get to him.