Chris looked over his shoulder at Kristen Saturday morning.  Kristen's attention was focused on the magazine in her hands, talking to herself.  His eyes ran over her--his lips lifting at her casual appearance.  Her hair was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail and couldn't remember ever knowing a woman to look so adorable in a simple white tank top and basketball shorts.

"What?" He asked with a chuckle as he turned and went back to the waffles he was making.  He chuckled to himself, remembering the way Kristen's face had lit up when he had suggested making her favorite breakfast this morning.

"Hmmm?" Kristen hummed, pulling him from his thoughts. 

Chris glanced over his shoulder again.  "What is your like right now?" He asked, looking at her. 

Kristen looked at him in question for a moment then, "Oh!" She exclaimed, realizing what he was asking.  She looked back at her magazine.  She chuckled.  "I was just reading my horoscope in here and it's very..." she paused.  "It kind of scares me how right on these things are sometimes."

"What's it say?" Chris asked as he pulled that last waffle off the iron.  He picked up the plate of waffles and walked over to the table. 

"I don't really put a whole lot of stock in these things." Kristen prefaced before she started reading.  "But this is actually kind of...well...just tell me what you think." She said.

"Okay." Chris replied with a chuckle as he put a couple waffles on his plate and began drizzling syrup over them. 

"Ahem." Kristen cleared her throat then began reading.  "Things aren't exactly the way you want them to be right now." She began.

"There not?" Chris cut in.  "I made you waffles, girl." He said, looking at her with an exaggerated look of hurt on his face.  "I'm letting you stay here in my house, I'm taking care of you.  How are things not the way you want?" He teased her.

"Stop." Kristen laughed.  "I'm not saying this." She reminded him. "It's written in the stars." She told him dramatically.  Chris laughed in spite of himself. 

"You can't argue with the stars." He said, as he speared another bite of waffle then put it in his mouth.  "Keep reading." He told her.

Kristen shook her head with a chuckle as she went back to reading her horoscope.  "Things aren't exactly the way you want them to be right now, but that's okay-in fact, you may get a chance to show off a little!  If you can adapt to circumstances, someone important is sure to approve." She looked at him over the top of the magazine and Chris was hit again with how beautiful she was.  Her brown eyes sparkled excitedly and a happy smile lit her face.  He wanted to just lean over the table and kiss her.

"How is that ‘right on'?" He asked, confused, as she closed the magazine and put it down on the table.

"Well," she said, as she put a waffle on her plate, loaded it with butter and syrup, and took a big bite.  "My ankle is broken, which isn't necessarily something I wanted." She continued, talking with her mouth full.  "Not that I'm complaining or blaming you." Kristen added quickly, taking another bite.  "Because I'm not."  Chris grinned as he watched her.  It was good to know she was comfortable enough around him she was able to be herself--talking with her mouth full and speaking her mind.  It let him know this relationship was the real deal. The relationships he'd been in, in the past had lacked a full measure of trust between himself and the girl.  Beside the relationships he'd been in prior to being thrown into the limelight and becoming a pop idol, the girls he'd been with in the past had only been with him because of who he was, his money, his connections in the music business, and whatever other excuse girls had for being with guys in his position.  "It's just..." Kristen paused, swallowing.  She reached for her glass of milk and took a drink.  "It's kind of put a kink in things, you know?"

"If by ‘kink' you mean the fact that we can't do anything ‘kinky,'" Chris replied.  "Then I know exactly what you mean." He said and Kristen laughed. 

"Believe me," Kristen said leaning over and doing what Chris had been thinking of doing just moments earlier.  Chris eagerly accepted her kiss as she pressed her lips to his, returning it warmly.  "No one is more aware of that than me." She assured him when she pulled back. 

Chris grinned as he kissed her again. "What else?" He asked.

Kristen narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked at him--her brown eyes holding his steadily.  "What else am I aware of?" She asked, a teasing sparkle in her beautiful eyes.  "I'm aware of the fact that you're incredibly sexy and the fact that you made me waffles has never made me want you more."

 Chris chuckled.  "I meant, what else in your horoscope is ‘right on?"" He clarified.  "That other stuff is all a given." He said, with a smirk and a wink as he took another bite. 

~~~~~~~

Kristen laughed.  "Well, you asked me a couple days ago to do that video with you." She grinned--a fluttery excitement going through her at the thought.  She still couldn't believe he had written a song about her, much less wanted her to be the girl in the video!  It was like a dream come true.  Granted it was something she hadn't known she had wanted until he had offered the opportunity to her, but it was still a dream come true. "So I'm going to get to show off in a way I wasn't expecting." She told him.  "And hopefully you'll approve."

Chris grinned.  "Just do that pole dance thing you did downstairs a few weeks ago and we'll be good." He told her.

Kristen chuckled, feeling an embarrassed flush beat her cheeks.  "I can't believe I'm going to do this." She said.

"You don't have to." Chris countered, finishing the waffle on his plate and reaching for another one.

"No, I want to!" Kristen quickly assured him.  "I just..." she laughed incredulously.  "I never thought any of this would ever happen to me." She told him, sitting back in her chair. "Life's never boring, is it?" She asked him. 

"Not with me around." He stated with a grin as he wiggled his eyebrows, making Kristen laugh. 

"That's the truth." She replied.

"Speaking of life never being boring." Chris said, taking a swallow of his orange juice.  "What does life have in store for me?" He asked gesturing to the magazine Kristen had set down earlier. "What's written in the stars for me?"

"Mmmm." Kristen hummed as she swallowed the bite she had taken and sat up-reaching for the magazine.  "What's your sign, baby?" She asked, batting her eyelashes at him in a flirty manner. 

Chris laughed at the old and over-used pick-up line.  "Libra." He told her, taking a bite.

Kristen scanned the horoscopes looking for his.  "Here we go." She said.  She cleared her throat then began reading.  "This is a very strong month for close relationships.  A partner may need some extra attention--"

"You have been pretty needy this week." Chris interjected teasingly, cutting her off. 

Kristen stuck her tongue out at him.  "What do you expect after breaking my ankle?" She replied.

"I think I've spoiled you this week." He mused.

"I'm not complaining." Kristen assured him, smiling at the teasing sparkle she saw in his brown eyes.

"That's the problem." He chuckled.  "This week's almost over." He pointed out, his smile faltering slightly.

"And your point is?" Kristen asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.  She didn't see any problem with the way things had been this week.  Chris had been the most doting and attentive nurse she'd ever had.  It seemed like all she had to do was think about something and he would show up seconds later with it.  She was getting used to seeing and being with him all day.  She enjoyed spending time with him--not because he was incredibly sexy and had the ability to render her completely senseless in less time than it took for him to drop his pants--but because he was sweet and thoughtful.  He made her laugh and they had a lot in common.  They were lovers, yes, but they were also friends.  He was the one she found herself wanting to talk to when she had a bad day or when something exciting had happened.  He was the one who knew how to make her laugh or could distract her when she was upset.  He appreciated her obsessive love of sports and--though he teased her good naturedly about her choice in teams--didn't make her feel guilty or like she was neglecting him when she watched a game.  Most of the time he was right there with her cheering the teams on.

"I don't think you're spoiling me." Kristen told him.  Her eyes strayed to the horoscope again and she chuckled.  "Besides, listen to this last part." She said.  "Balancing intimacy and friendship is the goal now, and you are likely to succeed." Kristen read the last of his horoscope and closed the magazine.  She smiled triumphantly at him.  "That's what we're doing--balancing intimacy and friendship.  And we're succeeding."  Chris smiled at her but Kristen's smile faded as she noticed his smile didn't reach his eyes.  He looked down at his plate and Kristen's brow furrowed.  "You don't agree?" She questioned, watching him closely--curious over his reaction.  What was going on? Had she done or said something wrong? Kristen quickly scanned back over the whole conversation they'd just had.  They had been discussing their horoscopes and then-

"Are you done?" He asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

"What? Oh, yeah." She nodded.  He stood and reached for her plate.  "Thanks." She said.  He nodded then turned and walked into the kitchen.  "Chris?" She asked.  "Did I--"

"I'm going to be over with Mike at the studio all day." He said.  "Are you going to be okay here alone?"

Kristen looked at him for a moment before answering.  Up until he had said he was spoiling her they had been laughing with and teasing each other over the waffles he had impulsively decided to make this morning.  She was confused.  She didn't understand why his saying he was spoiling her had led to this awkward and silent tension between them.  She noticed his eyes didn't meet hers as he stood by the sink, waiting for her answer.  "Yeah." Kristen nodded.  "I'll be fine."  She said, forcing a smile--hoping to get him to talk about whatever it was that was suddenly bothering her.

No luck. 

With a nod, Chris drained the orange juice that remained in his glass, put the glass in the sink, and then left the room.  Kristen she sat back in her chair.  "What did I do?" She muttered under her breath.  And how the hell do I fix it?

~~~~~~~

Chris' cell phone rang as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom.  He pulled it out of his pocket, eager for the distraction.  He felt guilty about what he had just done to Kristen.  He'd completely shut down and freaked out on Kristen.  She had no idea why and he was struggling to put words to his thoughts and emotions as well.  He knew he should probably turn around and go back into the kitchen to talk to her, but he couldn't.  Not until he understood himself what was going on.  One minute everything had been fine--great even!--the next, everything changed.  He wasn't sure what had triggered it and he didn't know how to explain it. 

He loved Kristen.  He loved that they had had this chance to spend the last week together.  He loved that he had gotten the chance to take care of her.  He loved that she had allowed him to spoil her but in the process he himself had been spoiled.  What he had said downstairs had been the truth: this week was almost over and he wasn't sure what he was going to do when she went back to work and to her own apartment.  Maybe it hadn't been a good idea for her to stay here this week as she began to heal from her surgery.  Maybe he should have just let her mother take her home and then just gone to visit her.  Maybe she just needed to move in with him.

Chris tripped over his feet at that though as he reached the top of the staircase.  He reached out with his free hand for the railing reflexively.  Move in with me? He questioned as he stood rooted in place in shock.  Where the hell did that come from?!

"Hello?" He answered his phone distractedly while a fierce internal battle commenced place between his head and his heart.  Kristen had moved into his heart and into his life quicker than any other woman he'd ever known or dated.  In the space of a few short days she had shown him how empty his huge house really was.  How had he lived here alone all these years and never noticed how lonely it had really been?  Sure, he had people over all the time, and had a reputation for throwing some wild parties, but after the food and alcohol ran out everybody would go, leaving him once more alone with the silence. 

He'd never asked a girl to move in with him before.  He'd never felt the level of trust and commitment before that he felt with Kristen.  He'd never wanted to share his life so completely with another human being.

Why her? 

Why now?

"Chris?" The person on the other end of the line interrupted his thoughts.  "Are you there?"

"Yeah." He said, shaking his head.  He couldn't think about this right now.  He didn't want to think about this right now.  "Sorry." He apologized.

"You okay, man?"

"Yeah." He said.  He pulled the phone away from his ear-glancing at the screen to see who he was talking to.  Justin.  "What's up, J?" He asked as he forced himself to continue into his bedroom.  "Aubrey finally decide she's going to leave you for me?" He teased. 

Justin chuckled.  "From what I hear she's too late." He replied.  "Although, I also hear your taste nowadays seems to run towards married women," he teased.  "So I'm also keeping her as far away from you as possible."

Chris laughed at the younger man's good-natured ribbing.  "That's probably a good idea." He conceded.  The two men joked back and forth for a few minutes, teasing each other in the same manner they had from the moment they'd first met fifteen years ago.  "So why'd you really call me?" Chris asked as he stepped into his bedroom.  He stopped as he passed through the doorway and saw all of Kristen's belongings intermingled with his.  Her clothes were thrown in with his in the dirty clothes hamper, her pillows were next to his on the bed, her toothbrush, toothpaste, and numerous other toiletries sat among his on the bathroom vanity and the funny thing was that none of it seemed out of place to him.  He had lived alone for how many years now?  This had been his room, his domain, for longer than he could remember, yet seeing his girlfriend's things scattered across the room didn't feel awkward or unusual.  It felt normal and familiar to walk in and see her presence and influence around the room.  One would think they actually were living together, instead of her just staying at his house for a week while she was recovering from surgery.  

"I can't call just to say hi?" Justin questioned, sounding hurt.

"Sure you can." Chris said as he walked into his closet.  "But you never do." He chuckled.  "What's up?"

"I'm in." Justin stated as Chris slipped on his favorite pair of Vans and placed a black Ed Hardy hat on his head. 

It took Chris a second to figure out what he was referring to.  "Really?" He asked, sounding more surprised and incredulous than he wanted.  After talking with Justin originally about his and Kristen's idea of getting the guys back together for the basketball game, Chris hadn't held out much hope of the younger man agreeing to do it.  Justin had quickly moved on to doing his own thing again after their reunion tour wrapped up and Chris had assumed--especially after hearing from Justin about him and Aubrey looking into a possible surrogate situation--that Justin wasn't going to do it. 

"Yeah, really." Justin chuckled.  "I talked it over with Aubrey and she basically told me I had to do it, or else."

Chris laughed.  "I knew there was a reason I liked that girl." He replied as he walked out of the closet and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"Just send me the details as soon as you have them and I'll be there." Justin promised. 

"Thanks, man." Chris said.  "I know how busy you always are and now with the whole baby thing-by the way, how's that going?" He asked.

"Interesting." Justin answered.  "There's, uhm..." he chuckled.  "There's a lot that goes in to making a baby when you're not making it the traditional way, let's just leave it at that." The younger man stated.

Chris laughed.  "You never could do things the traditional way." He observed.  "So it's only fitting that your kid not be conceived normally, right?"

"I guess." Justin replied with a chuckle.  "I just hope it works."

"It will." Chris answered with certainty.  "You've never been involved with anything that wasn't a success in some way."

"There's a first time for everything." Justin mused.  "My luck is bound to run out one of these days."

Chris rolled his eyes, though Justin couldn't see him.  The day your luck runs out is the day the worlds ends.  He thought.  He knew how smart and talented Justin was.  He wouldn't have been able to get as far as he had in the entertainment business on looks alone.  Part of it was luck, yes, and being in the right place at the right time, but it also took a lot of business sense and street smarts to be able to do what Justin had done and achieved in his personal life and career. 

"Anyway." Justin said.  "I told you I'd call after I talked to Aubrey and made a decision."

"Thanks." Chris said again.  They talked for a minute more about inconsequential things then said good-bye.  As Chris ended the call he sat there for a moment staring at the electronic devise, biting his bottom lip.  A nagging voice in the back of his mind had been pushing him to ask Justin about his crazy thoughts earlier about asking Kristen to move in with him but he had pushed the thought away each time it came up. 

What kind of man are you?  The damn question Kristen had asked him months ago returned to taunt him.

He was scared.  That was the plain and honest truth.

He was scared because he knew what the younger man's answer would be and he was scared because he knew what he wanted Justin's answer to be.

With a sigh Chris stood up, walked out of his bedroom and down the stairs.  Grabbing his keys from off the table in the entryway he left without saying good-bye to Kristen.  He knew it was low and cowardly of him to do that but he needed to get out of the house and away for a little while.  He needed to clear his head and organize his thoughts and feelings and he couldn't do that with her around.  He needed a distraction and spending some time in the studio with Mike and the other guys would allow him time to think about and process everything.  When he got home later he would apologize to her and they would talk but until then he needed some space--it felt like the walls were suddenly closing in on him.

What kind of a man are you?

"I'm a coward." He muttered under his breath as he got into his Escalade and slid behind the wheel.  "A complete and utter coward."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristen skimmed her hand over the bubbles filling the warm tub of water she was sitting in later that evening.  Her left leg was propped up on the edge of the tub, keeping her cast out of the water, as she sat staring at the wall in front of her.  Chris had left right after breakfast--almost ten hours ago--without even saying good-bye to her and he hadn't been back since.  He hadn't called.  He hadn't texted.  He had said he was going to the studio to work on some songs, but he could be anywhere.

She still had no ideas what she had said to set him off and make him completely shut down on her.  She had spent all day thinking and worrying about it.  She had called Amie--who had told her she was being ridiculous and was spending too much time worrying about something she didn't need to worry about--and her mother-=-who told her the same thing Aimee had--but Kristen was still worried. She had no idea where he was or who he was with and she hated it.  She hated that thoughts of Chris cheating on her had begun to creep in to her mind.  She pushed them away angrily--refusing to entertain them.  He's not Kevin.  She reminded herself.  He's not Kevin.

"He's not Kevin." She repeated out loud, hoping that actually hearing the words spoken would help engrain them in her head and heart.  She hated thinking she couldn't trust Chris--that she obviously didn't trust him as much as she wanted to believe.  If she really and truly trusted him, she wouldn't be sitting here now, questioning his fidelity.

With a sigh she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the tub, allowing herself to sink a little lower into the lavender scented bubbles, trying to relax--forcing the destructive thoughts away.  This was the reason she had decided to take a bath, despite the fact her leg was in a cast.  She needed to relax and normally this was the way she was able to unwind and de-stress.  Several gallons or warm water, a few capfuls of lavender bubble bath--an ingredient she was surprised to discover Chris had under his bathroom sink, and something she was going to question him about later--and she was quickly on her way to forgetting all about her troubles.  Only this time, her troubles had followed her and refused to leave.  It was hard forgetting her troubles when she was sitting in the tub of the man she was currently worried and stressing out about.

Kristen groaned in frustration and scrubbed her hands over her face.  "I should have just gone with a tub of ice cream and tried to drown myself in chocolate." She muttered under her breath as she shook her head, staring up at the ceiling.

"You could drain that tub and we could fill it with chocolate."

Kristen gasped as Chris' voice interrupted her depressed musings.  Her heart skipped several beats as she looked at him.  Their eyes met as he stood, leaning casually against the doorjamb--his arms folded across his chest.  Kristen lifted one arm out of the water, brushing some stray curls from her face. 

"Hi." She said. 

"Hi." He answered.

They stayed staring at each other for a few moments, the air thick with tension, as Kristen waited for him to say something; anything.  Finally she couldn't stand the silence anymore.  "Chris, I don't know--"

"I owe you an apology." He said cutting her off.  He sighed as he pushed off the wall and walked towards her.  He shoved his hands in his pockets and Kristen tried to sit up as much as she could as he came and stood next to the tub.  She looked up at him, waiting for him to continue, and watched as he sat down-leaning against the wall facing her.  He smiled at her hesitantly.  "I was an ass for leaving this morning without saying good-bye." He admitted.

"A little bit." Kristen agreed with a nod.

Chris looked down at his lap.  "I'm sorry."  He said, lifting his head to look at her again.  "For that.  I'm sorry."

"What did I do?" Kristen asked.  "I..."  she paused, fighting back the sudden tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks.  She cursed her female hormones.  She cleared her throat.  "I've spent all day trying to figure out what I did wrong.  What did I do?  What did I say?"

Chris shook his head.  "It wasn't you."  He assured her.  "You didn't do anything wrong."

"What happened?" She asked.  "We were having breakfast, talking and laughing and then you just...froze.  What happened?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Chris sighed as he sat on the bathroom floor, looking at Kristen.  He watched as he reached up and brushed another errant curl off her forehead then met her eyes--guilt filling him for the way he had treated her today.  The worry, concern, and fear was etched clearly on her face and they were all there because of him. 

"I'm a coward." He muttered under his breath as he hung his head, unable to face her gaze anymore.

"What?" She asked, not hearing him. 

Chris lifted his head and swallowed.  "I said, I'm a coward." He told her.  "I, uhm...I freaked out this morning and I ran because I'm a coward."  She watched him closely.  He could see all the questions she wanted to ask burning in her eyes.  "I'm old." He said.

Kristen looked at him, a look of absolute confusion on her face.  "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" She asked, not understanding the correlation he was trying haphazardly to make.

Chris sighed.  "I'm old.  I'm almost forty." He reminded her. 

"So?" She questioned.  "I'm still not understanding what that has to do with what happened at breakfast." She told him.

"You know that saying, you can't teach an old dog new tricks?" He asked her.  Kristen nodded.  "I'm an old dog." He told her then chuckled ruefully.  "In more ways than one." He muttered under his breath.  "There's a new trick I want to try...but I don't know if I can."  Kristen remained silent and he felt frustrated.  This wasn't coming out the way he had planned.  He'd spent all day rehearsing what he was going to say to her and already he'd screwed it all up.  Taking a deep breath, Chris closed his eyes and just let everything out.  "I told you this morning that I've spoiled you this past week, but in reality I'm  the one who's been spoiled."  He opened his eyes and looked at her.  She cocked her head to the side slightly as she watched him closely.  "I have a hard time letting people in." He confessed.  "As a kid I was...I was always the one everyone picked on.  I had to put up walls and I became ‘The Funny Guy,'" he made air quotes with his fingers, "as a way to fit in and try to cover up how embarrassed I was about my family situation and the fact that we had no money and I was always hungry and wore dirty clothes.  When everyone figured out how funny I was everyone suddenly wanted to be my friend, but I..."  He fisted his hands in his lap and clenched his jaw, breathing heavily as he fought his emotions.  Chris swallowed.  "I've been alone for a while." He continued.  "I've been a bachelor for most of my life and I was comfortable with that."

"But?" Kristen questioned quietly as silence stretched between them. 

"But." He said, looking at her.  "I started thinking about this past week, with you being here and I...Kristen, I don't want you to go home tomorrow." He told her.

Her jaw dropped slightly as she looked at him in shock.  "Are you...wait.  Are you..." She stuttered, trying to get her words out.

"I haven't ever done this before." Chris told her, scooting across the floor so he was closer to her head.  "I haven't ever let anyone in as far as you are right now.  Nobody's ever gotten to me the way that you have." He paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side thinking.  "Is that a song?" He asked.  "That sounds like a song."

Kristen let out a quiet laugh that sounded suspiciously like a sob as she reached out a smacked his arm lightly.  "You're getting sidetracked." She scolded. 

"Sorry." He apologized, focusing his attention on her once again.  He could see the tell-tale sheen of tears in her eyes and had to swallow past a lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat.  "I love you." He proclaimed.  "Move in with me."