"A benefit concert?" Chris asked a week later as he stood leaning back against his PT Cruiser at the gas station.  He watched as the digital numbers on the pump continued to climb, while his cell phone was pressed against his ear.

"I got a call about it a couple days ago." Joey said, his voice coming through the phone.  "The Children's Hospital is trying to put something together as a fundraiser.  What do you think?"

"Are they wanting all of us there?" Chris asked, his free hand reaching up as he rubbed the back of his neck.  "I don't think C's really in a position to be leaving Rachel right now with the baby and all and Justin can't keep his hands or eyes off Aubrey for more than two seconds.  Those last couple weeks there on the tour with those two were ridiculous." He chuckled.

"No.  I think they're just looking for local musicians and celebrities." Joey interrupted him. 

"Why?" Chris asked.  The pump shut off and he straightened.  Sandwiching the phone between his shoulder and ear he pulled the nozzle out of the car's gas tank and returned its resting place.

"Why, what?" Joey asked.

"Why do they want us?" Chris asked as he grabbed the receipt that the machine spit out then walked around the car.  He opened the driver's side door and slid behind the wheel. 

"Because we're local musicians and celebrities." Joey replied in a tone that indicated the answer should have been obvious then chuckled. 

"Oh, really?" Chris replied sarcastically. "Yeah thanks, Joe.  I didn't know that."

"You're the one who asked, doofus." Joey replied with a laugh.

"We sing back-up, Joe." He said as he pulled away from the gas pump and out of the parking lot.  "That's what I meant.  We sing back-up, so why do they want us?"

"I don't know, man." Joey replied.  "But it's a good cause.  Think about it, okay?"

"Sure." Chris nodded as he continued driving.  "I'll think about it.  You still coming over tonight to watch the game?"

"Yeah, I'll be there." Joey said. 

"Great."  Chris said, pulling the phone away from his ear as another call buzzed through.  "Hey listen, I've got another call coming in but I'll see ya tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, see ya man." Joey said. 

Chris ended the call with Joey and answered the other one coming in. "Mike!" He greeted the caller.  "What's happenin' my brother?"

"Long time no talk, Kirkpatrick." Mike answered.  "What are you up to?"

"Wasting time, why?" Chris answered. 

"Just wanted to give you a call and see if you wanted to mess around in the studio for a bit today.  Dave and Ernie and I were about to head down there."

Mike--a friend and guitar player that Chris had met several years ago--had, at one point, tried to put together their own group.  They sounded pretty good in the studio and had fun writing and messing around with different songs but the group had never really gotten off the ground.  Johnny's question to Chris last week about this other group when he'd been on the radio show had gotten him thinking though.  Maybe it was time to focus and put his energy into this other venture.  Music was his life and passion and he constantly had words and melodies floating around in his head.  This other group was a different sound and feel then N SYNC was, and he wasn't sure how people would react to it--or to him being the lead singer instead of just backup--but he suddenly wanted to see if they could finish the album they'd begun a couple years ago.

"Sure." Chris nodded, though he was alone in his car.  He switched lanes and quickly made a U-turn as soon as he could.  His phone buzzed again, indicating another incoming call.  Chris pulled it away from his ear and looked at the number, his brows furrowing slightly.  Not recognizing who it was, he ignored the call--letting it go to voicemail--and went back to his conversation with Mike.

"Awesome!" Mike exclaimed.  "I've got some new stuff I've been working on that I want to show you.  I think it's the sound we were looking for a few years ago but couldn't ever find."

"Give me fifteen minutes." Chris said.  "I'll meet you there."

"Sounds good." Mike replied.  "I'll see ya there."

~*~

"Any luck?"

Kristen looked up as Amie popped into her office that afternoon.  She hung up her desk phone and turned in her chair.  "No." She sighed.  "I've only been able to leave messages all week.  Nobody's answering their phones or calling me back." She said as Amie sat down on the edge of her desk.  "What about you?"

"I talked to a few of the vendors we've used before," Amie said as she pushed some of her dark hair away from her face.  "Everyone sounds like they're willing to jump on board with this project but nobody's really committing yet." She reported as she turned slightly and picked up one of the pictures Kristen had sitting on her desk.  "I love this picture." She commented with a grin as she looked at the photo in her hand. 

Kristen sat up, looking at the picture Amie was holding, then leaned back in her chair. It had been taken of the two of them about six months ago when they had gone down to Key West for a "Girl's Weekend."  They'd found an awesome hole-in-the-wall bar on their last night down there that had been doing karaoke and had had a blast.  "Me too." Kristen nodded.  "Me too." 

She smiled sadly as she thought about that weekend. Those three days were really the last time she could honestly remember being happy.  She and Amie had gotten home from that trip and everything in Kristen's life had then fallen apart.  The last few months had been one giant crap shoot and right now she would give just about anything for the ride to be over.  She was physically and emotionally drained and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. 

"We haven't done any karaoke since that night." Amie mused as she replaced the picture and looked at Kristen.  "We should go out tomorrow night." She grinned excitedly.  "I know this great place, what do you say?"

"Sure." Kristen nodded. "Sounds great." She smiled.  "It's only Thursday but I already need a drink.  Or two." She replied dryly.

"Or three." Amie laughed.  "Especially since I just found out Kyle and Mark already have half a dozen celebrities committed to the baseball game they're organizing." Amie rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue.  "Stupid boys."

"Already?" Kristen asked.  "But how..."

"I don't know." Amie shrugged. 

"Maybe they're lying." Kristen suggested.  "They could just be lying to throw us off and make us think they're being more successful than they really are."

"Maybe." Amie said with a nod.  "But I don't think so." She shook her head.  "Mark really isn't that great of a liar and he was the one I was talking to."

"Well, shit." Kristen replied as she blew out a frustrated breath.

 "Don't worry.  Our concert is going to be better." Amie assured her.  "I can feel it." She grinned.

"Whatever you say, Ames." Kristen replied with a slight roll of her eyes.  "Whatever you say."

"Alright." Amie said as she hopped off of Kristen's desk and put her hands on her slim hips.  "I'm going to go make some more calls.  We've got to have something to show Michael and Michelle next week or we're screwed."

"Yeah, let me know how it goes." Kristen said as Amie left.  She sat for a minute, leaning back in her chair then, with a sigh, she sat back up and turned to face her computer.  Opening up a new internet browser window she began surfing, trying to find some more contacts--any and everyone who might be interested in helping them put together this concert.  She spent the next hour and a half making numerous calls to managers, PR reps, venue coordinators and radio stations--leaving a lot of messages, and generally just finding herself becoming more and more discouraged as the afternoon wore on.  What had started out as an exciting idea was turning out to be a giant pain in the ass.  This event wasn't coming together quite as easily as she and Amie had thought it would. 

Somehow I need to meet one of these guys.  She thought, staring at the list they had put together of all the local musicians and even those who had ever once called Florida home.  Somehow I need to meet one of them, become their friend and then convince them to help me put this together.  She tapped her pen on the desk as she stared at the list.  But how...

She jumped slightly when her phone rang. 

"Marketing, this is Kristen." She answered a bit distractedly, still studying the paper in front of her.

"Did you forget about our appointment?" An all too familiar voice came through the phone lines and Kristen's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach.  She looked at the calendar hanging on the wall beside her desk in surprise and then at her watch and swore as she pushed back from her desk.

"Shit." She muttered under her breath.  "No." She stated, standing up.  She sandwiched the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she hit a few keys on the keyboard--locking her computer and bent down to retrieve her purse from the bottom drawer.  "I'm on my way." She lied.  "I got...I got tied up with work but...but I'm coming.  I'll be there."

"Same old Kristen." He chuckled.  "Couldn't be on time to save your life."

Kristen bit her tongue to keep from saying anything to him she might later regret.  "I said I'd be there, Kevin." She replied tersely then hung up on him.  "Bastard." She breathed.  She stood for a moment in her office--her jaw clenched slightly and her eyes closed--as she fought to regain her composure.  She didn't want him to see her anger.  He didn't deserve it and she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he could still affect her so easily.  Finally, when she could feel her blood pressure leveling off she slung her purse over her shoulder and left her office.  Trying to devise someway to meet and befriend a celebrity would have to wait until tomorrow.  Besides, she thought.  That's never going to happen anyway.

As she stepped onto the elevator Kristen pressed the button that would take her down to the ground level.  She'd lived here her entire life and hadn't once run in to anyone famous.  Ever.  Now that she needed to meet someone what were the chances her luck would change? Slim to none. She told herself.  Those are the chances-slim to none.  When had luck ever been on her side? 

Kristen's shoulders slumped slightly as she leaned back against the wall of the elevator.  When had she become so bitter?  She had always been a positive and optimistic person.  When had she stopped seeing the glass as being half full?  Maybe it was when you came home to find your husband and your best friend in bed together? A small voice in the back of her mind whispered.  Kristen closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as her heart constricted painfully at the memory. 

That was it. 

That was when her hope and faith had been shattered. 

She wiped at the lone tear that had escaped from beneath her lashes and straightened as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened.  Stubbornly she squared her shoulders and sniffed back the tears that wanted to fall as she walked out of the hospital.  She smiled at the girls behind the front desk--her carefully constructed mask of self-control slipping easily back into place.  To those who didn't know her well, there was no hint of anything being out of place in her world.  She still said hello to them every day and went about her normal job duties around the hospital with a smile on her face.  They didn't know that she now went home alone to a small one-bedroom apartment or that the girl she had once considered her best and closest friend had betrayed her in the worst possible way.  They didn't know that in the past six months Kristen had cried herself to sleep more often than not or that she wondered constantly about what it was she had done that was so wrong. 

Kristen exited the hospital and walked across the expansive parking lot to her Jeep that was waiting patiently for her--again, sniffing back the tears.  She was sick of crying over this whole situation.  She was sick of crying over him.  She felt like that's all she'd been doing for months now and she wanted to know when it would stop.  When would she stop crying over someone she didn't want anymore?  When would she stop mourning the loss of "what could have been?"  When would she stop feeling lost and confused?

When would she be happy again?       

~*~

Gone away, far from good
Left alone again

In the dark
Hoping to find, something that I can hold
To take away some of the pain

Who am I, lost at the first sign
Why am I, letting go at the worst time
Where will you be when the last train has

Gone away, I feel cold
Yesterday, has gone

If I look
Maybe I'll find, something that I can hold
To take away some of the pain

Who am I, lost at the first sign
Why am I, letting go at the worst time
Where will you be when the last train has

Left you with nothing there's no more that I can do
Caught up in circles there's no one can see me through
I never believed that the grass wasn't greener
The sky isn't falling, I didn't stop breathing

I didn't stop breathing

Who am I, lost at the first sign
Why am I, letting go at the worst time
Where will you be when the last train has

Left you with nothing there's no more that I can do
Where do we belong

Chris sat in the sound booth of the studio where he'd met up with Mike and the other guys a few hours ago, listening to the tack they'd just laid down.  He nodded his head and tapped his foot along to the beat of the song as he swiveled back and forth in the chair he was sitting in.  It needed to be cleaned up quite a bit but, Mike had been right.  This was the sound they had been looking for a few years ago when they had tried to put the group together before but for some reason they hadn't been able to find it until now.  Chris felt a sudden surge of excitement over the prospect of putting together this album.  It was going to take a lot of hard work but he had spent the last fifteen years in the music business.  He knew all about hard work.  He knew the ins and outs of putting together an album.  He had more knowledge, skills and connections now than he'd had before and those things were what were going to turn this dream into a reality. 

"I think we got a real shot at doing this." He said, turning to Mike. 

"Me too." Mike said with a smile. 

Chris shifted in his chair as his phone vibrated in his pocket.  He looked at the screen and stood.  "I gotta go." He said as he looked at Mike. 

"Okay." The other guy nodded.

"I'm having some people over tonight to watch the game.  You wanna come over?" Chris asked as he shoved his phone back into his pocket and pulled his pants up.  The shorts settled back where they had been sitting low on his hips as he lifted his arms above his head and stretched.

"Sure, what time?" Mike asked.

"The game starts at six-thirty but I'm going to be grilling about six.  Just come over whenever you want." Chris replied as he pushed up the arms of the black hoodie he was wearing. 

"Alright, man." Mike nodded. 

"Thanks for calling me today." Chris said.  "I'm excited about this." He gestured to the soundboard in front of them.  The guys shook hands and Chris left the studio.  He looked at his watch, mentally judging the time it would take to go to the store and get what he needed for tonight.  He didn't need to get any alcohol--he'd already restocked after the party he'd had last week--but he needed to get stuff to eat.  His fridge had been looking a little bare recently and he'd been putting off going to the store--ordering take-out a bit more than he should have the last couple days.  Pulling out of the parking lot of the studio, Chris drove towards home-musing about how his life had changed over the last couple years.  There had been a time, not too long ago, where he hadn't been able to drive around town like this to meet up with some friends at a recording studio alone--much less go to the grocery store for himself. 

He was grateful for everything that had happened in his life, and all he had been blessed with, but he was even more thankful that he didn't have to rely on other people to do simple things for him anymore.  At first he had thought it was cool--having people who were around that would shop for him-but he'd soon begun to miss it and wish he could just go to the store himself when he needed some toothpaste or a case of beer or felt the need for a bag of Doritos at two am.  He'd grown up with practically nothing and almost overnight had been given everything.  Literally.  However, the more time had gone by the more he'd begun to feel bad about having to rely on someone else to do simple, everyday things.  Though he had traveled the world several times over, had sung in front of sold out stadiums, and had more money now than he ever dreamed of having as a kid he was determined to never take the simple things in life for granted again. 

He had been blessed and he had worked hard.  Though he did enjoy a lot of the finer things in life, the strong work ethic that had been seen him through the poverty of his childhood, and had helped make his dreams a reality, refused to let him be lazy.  Spoiled was a word that had never and would never be used to describe him. 

Crazy?  Yes. 

Immature?  Sometimes. 

Fun-loving?   Most definitely. 

Spoiled?  Never.    

Chris put his sunglasses on as he turned his car west and began driving towards home.  A quick stop at the grocery store, then home to get things ready.  The Magic were playing the Lakers tonight in LA and a grin slid across Chris' face.  He knew Justin was going to be at the game tonight--he often was whenever he was home and the Lakers were hosting--and Chris couldn't wait to rub it in the younger man's face when his team won.   That phone call was going to be fun.  

~*~            

Kristen angrily slammed the door of her Jeep as she climbed in and slid behind the wheel.  After spending two hours with her soon to be ex-husband and their divorce lawyers, her disappointing afternoon at work had quickly gone from bad to worse.  She put her hands on the steering wheel and leaned forward--closing her eyes as she rested her forehead there as well.  How had she never known what a jackass Kevin truly was?  How had she spent five years with the guy--the last three being married to him--and never known what he was really like?  Kristen had sat there, across the conference room table from him, speechless as he had begun playing the victim.  Stating that it was all her fault; that she had pushed him and Andrea together because she was never home, was always working, and she wasn't a good wife.  He was a man, he had stated, and he had needs and if she wasn't going to fulfill them like their marriage certificate said she would then he had no other choice than to look elsewhere.

"What about my needs?" She had angrily shot back at him.  "What about all of the promises you've broken?  What about all of the times you've left me alone to go on your ‘business trips,' hooking up with God knows who?  It's a miracle you haven't given me anything." She spat, shuddering slightly.  When she'd found him and Andrea together, she was soon to learn that her best friend wasn't the only one Kevin had been with.  She had finally gotten her husband to admit to her that there had been numerous other women over the course of their relationship.  Kristen had felt sick and had left--walking out, though she knew she should have been the one to kick him out.  She couldn't do it though.  She couldn't stay in that house and be constantly bombarded by all of the memories that were now tainted by his lying and cheating. 

"Why?" She had asked him before she had left that night.

"I was bored." He had shrugged casually.  "It was fun at the beginning, but..." again he had shrugged and Kristen had felt like strangling him.  "Then you just got boring."  She heard the crack of her hand against his cheek before she realized she had slapped him.  His head jerked back and he looked at her with fire blazing in his blue eyes.  "Hmmm..." he commented, rubbing his cheek with his hand.  "Maybe there's still some spunk left in you, after all." He said, his eyes running over her appreciatively.

"You make me sick." She spat out.  "Don't look at me like that.  You've lost the right to ever look at me like that again!  I'll see you in court." She said, then angrily opened the door and walked out. 

With a heavy sigh, Kristen sat up--her head falling back against the head rest.  She had hoped they would be able to settle the divorce quickly and both move on, but she should have known that would too easy.  Nothing in her life ever went the way she wanted it too and Kevin was determined to drag this out as long as possible--to make it as messy as possible.  For what reason, she had no idea but he was fighting her on every request she made. 

She leaned forward again as she put the key in the ignition and started the car.  She reached a hand back behind her to grab her seatbelt.  Pulling it across her chest Kristen buckled it at her hip, her eyes landing on the plastic grocery bag and case of beer sitting on the passenger seat.  After leaving the meeting Kristen had stopped by the store.  She normally didn't shop on this side of town, but it was the nearest store to her lawyer's office and there was only one way to end a day like the one she'd had: she was going to get a head start on the weekend by eating things she shouldn't and getting drunk--fully prepared to call out sick in the morning.  Maybe then she could forget about the absolute mess her life had become.  Maybe then she could forget about the fact that she had supposedly pushed her husband into cheating on her and that she was boring. 

Kristen scoffed.  Boring was a word that had never been used to describe her.  Logically she knew it wasn't her fault.  Kevin was the one with the problem, but it still hurt that she hadn't been enough to keep him satisfied--that there had been something about her and their relationship that had pushed him to go looking for it somewhere else.  With another sigh she shifted the Jeep into reverse and quickly backed out of her parking space.    

She heard the car horn blare behind her a second before she felt the jolt and heard the sound of metal colliding.  Her heart leapt into her throat as she quickly slammed on her brakes and turned to look behind her.  "Damn it!" She swore as she saw the car she had just hit.  Putting the Jeep in drive she pulled back into her spot, put the car into park and turned it off--laying her head against the steering wheel again.  "Why?" She cried out.  "Why?!" She hit the steering wheel with one hand then undid her seatbelt.  With another sigh--this one of resignation--Kristen opened her door and got out, prepared to face the responsibilities of her actions.  She hadn't been paying attention.  She hadn't looked behind her before she'd started backing out and this was all her fault.  She ran a hand through her hair and took a few deep breaths as she walked around the car.  I'm not going to cry.  She told herself as she came to stand at the back of her Jeep.  I'm not going to cry.  The owner of the other vehicle was already out, bent over, examining the area where their cars had met.  Kristen grimaced as she saw the large bumper shaped indent now adorning the back passenger side door and fender of the PT Cruiser.  She looked at her Jeep, but couldn't see any damage. 

"I am so sorry." Kristen apologized to the man.  "I...I have a good insurance policy, so...so don't worry about it." She continued.  "It'll be..." she trailed off as the man stood.  He removed the sunglasses he was wearing and Kristen's heart stopped beating for a moment.   His brown eyes observed her intently while she felt her own brown eyes widen in shock.  She stood there, staring at him--her jaw hanging open--and wondered if she was somehow asleep.  Was it possible that this whole day had just been one giant nightmare?  Please, God...she prayed. 

She pinched her arm and felt the sting.  "Perfect." She muttered under her breath, her resolve to not cry slipping quickly.  I said I wanted to meet him.  She thought.  Not total his car. She took a shaky breath as she ran her hand through her hair again. 

Why were the fates never on her side?