The next few days were more than awkward. Everything I did, I tried to make look good for Justin to see. Even my mother noticed it. From the way I walked, to the way I cleaned, EVERYTHING. Justin just seemed to laugh everything off though. This whole thing was just really funny to him. 

I sat on the cousch, reading a book when I felt someone pounce down next to me. I looked over to see a smiling Justin. 

"Whatcha reading now?" He asked being nosy. 

"The Bluest Eye" I said sternly. He nodded and tapped his knee. I tried to keep reading, I tried to stay quiet, I really did but the tapping just got so friggin' annoying! "GOD would you please stop!" I shot at him. He looked at me as his hand fell to his side. I looked back over to my book.

"You know you've been acting really weird for the past couple of days" I knew I'd have to have this conversation someday. 

"What? How?" 

"Well you walk around here all sexy. Then when I try to talk to you, you give me some sick attitude" Sexy? Did he just say I was sexy? Oh my gosh!

"I don't have an attitude" Justin scoffed. "I don't"

"Sure, whatever you say. Don't make me kiss you again" 

"Don't do that whenever I don't shut up. Just tell me to be quiet. You can't go around kissing everyone that doesn't stop talking" He laughed. 

"Well maybe I just wanna kiss you"

"Well you shouldn't" I said while turning to him. "You have a girlfriend. Who happens to be my best friend--"

"Lily, we both know it's not working out--"

"That's not the point! If you don't wanna be with her, then end it. Don't have me as a side hoe" There I put my foot down! 

"I can't end it just yet..."

"I'm not asking you to. Just don't kiss me again"

"I can't do that either" I rolled my eyes as far back as they could go. 

"Nothing. Look do you wanna go out on your stepdad's boat? He told us we could whenever we wanted to" I just looked at him. My stepdad had a boat? I got up and Justin led me to the backyard. We went out this little passage way leading up to a wonderful lake. The fresh clean air was mesmerizing. I just took in the scenery and looked around a bit before I heard Justin calling out for me. I watched him as he set up the boat and got in. He looked back and flashed a smile. 

"Come on" He said as he helped me get inside. I was nervous as the boat wobbled a bit but Justin held on tight. "It's okay. I got you" He said. I smiled nervously as I sat down. Justin began paddling and I looked on as the trees flapped away on this somewhat chilly day--at least Florida-wise. 

"This is beautiful" I said. Justin nodded. He stopped in the middle of the lake and just looked at me. A flock of geese came and scared the crap out of me and Justin laughed. I gave him what I like to call "the look" and he quieted down. I took a piece of hair and placed it behind my ear.

"Your mother told Alex the truth" Justin blurted. I just stared at him. 

"How do you know?"

"I overheard them talking when she went into his room this morning. He didn't take it so well" I nodded. I expected that. "He thinks she's gonna kick him out" I cleared my throat. 

"Do you think she will?" I asked him. He blinked a couple of times. 

"Honestly?" I nodded. "No"

"Why? What's so different about him? I wasn't half as bad growing up. The kid's a delinquent"

"Relax Lily. That's your brother" 

"So what!" I yelled. 

"So its not his fault! She raised him that way. And let's just say her kicking you out may have been the best thing because look at you"

"What about me? I didn't have the love of my mother like you did. I didn't have someone to call to give me advice when I needed it" My voice raised again.

"And you turned out amazing anyway!" He yelled back. "You're fucking beautiful and smart and sweet. But all you do is fucking complain and complain over and over cuz your life didn't go the way you wished it had" I stayed shut. "You're an amazing writer and you don't do anything with it! You work in some crappy bank and try too hard to act like you're enjoying yourself. You know what you are? You know what your problem is? You're aloof"

"Aloof? I am not aloof" I said in complete denial.

"You are. You sit home on Friday nights while everyone else is out. You don't even make the best of that. You also push everyone away who tries to get close to you. Except for Kye. Face it. Aloof"

"Oh you're full of shit. Take me back" 

"I'm not full of shit. I'm just honest"

"No you're an asshole. Take me back!"

"No"

"Now"

"Nope"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed as loud as I could in the middle of nowhere. The geese all flew away as fast as they could. 

"Oh my god you're so annoying. Let's go!" Justin said paddling back to the dock. As soon as we got there I jumped out and stomped away with my arms crossed. Justin tied up the boat as I headed back inside. 

"Hello? Hello" I yelled. "Great" I said to myself. No one was home. I ran up the stairs as I heard Justin walk in and lock the door. I felt warm tears come down my face and I didn't know why. I had always tried hard to belong and there Justin told me I didn't. I had to admit, that hurt. I grabbed my journal as I laid on my bed. This hurt more than it should and I knew it. It wasn't as if anyone had just told me I was aloof. It was someone I cared about someone I--

"Lily" I heard. I looked back and wiped my tears. I got up to shut the door in his face but he stopped it with his hand. 

"Get out"

"Please, can we talk"

"I don't know why you would want to, since I'm so aloof" I walked over to the bed and sat down. He walked over and stood at the foot of the bed. 

"I didn't..I didn't mean what I said out there"

"Oh sure you didn't" I said while getting up. "Oh, and this is the part where you tell me how sorry you are and beg me for forgiveness. Where you tell me that-that I'm not aloof, and I'm the most beautiful person ever. Oh and you also admit that you're in love with me and you couldn't stand to see me constantly down myself when you think so highly of me. Am I right" Justin stayed shut. "Save it" I walked over to the door and waited for him to leave. 

"You are" He said quietly. 

"What?" I was really irritated. Extremely irritated. 

"You are right. That's...that's what I wanted to come up here and do" I swallowed hard. 

"Well you can go now" 

"No, Lily listen. You can't think that because it seems that your mother didn't love you, no one will" 

"Well no one has. I'm sorry Justin, I'm not the whole-hearted person you were opting for me to be"

"Just shut up! I'm trying to be here for you Lily. I came all this way with you to support you and be there for you. Then that kiss"

"That kiss meant nothing Justin. What about Kye?" 

"Kye barely cares for me anymore. But you..you and I actually like the same things. And your writing. Probably the most amazing I've seen. Lily don't push me away"

"Justin we can't do this"

"Why not. It's right isn't it" Justin took a few steps towards me. I felt my body tense up as his nose barely touched mine. 

"We..don't know if..if it's right" I tried to say. 

"Then let's see" And that was it. That was the moment that I gave up. I couldn't handle it anymore. At that very second, if I wasn't before, I was now. I fell in love with Justin Timberlake.

---------

"Amber honey can you ask Justin if he can go to the store?" My mother asked. "I need eggs"

"He already went. Check the fridge" I loved that about Justin he knew what was needed, before asked. Since the night we kissed he has been everything I could ask for. 

"Hey baby" He said coming up from behind and kissing the side of my forehead. Yes, the pet names started. 

"Hi" I smiled. I felt all giddy inside. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I tried to ignore it until Justin noticed. 

"Answer that" 

"Oh but I don't want to" I said as I wrapped my hand around his waist. 

"Get the phone Lily" He laughed. I groaned as I got it out of my pocket. It was Kylie. 

"Hello?" I felt like such a horrible person. Here her boyfriend was playing with MY hair, kissing MY shoulder. 

"Hey Amber. How's everything?" 

"Um, it's great" I brushed Justin off. "I'm with my mom"

"I know. Listen I'm sorry I couldn't make it out there with you. I'm booking the next flight out there to be with you"

"Kye, that's not necessary--really"

"No! No excuses Amber. Plus it's kind of lonely here without you or Justin. All I have is Bryan and I can't stand being around someone so hot and so unable to do something about it. So I'm coming out there" I sighed. I couldn't believe what she had just said. She wasn't coming out here for me. She was coming to prevent herself from cheating. What a best friend. I guess that didn't matter though. What did matter was that she was coming out here, and she'd be here by tonight.

 As the music dies

Something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen 

And all it's sad good-byes