Chapter 11- “Don’t Look Back”

            It was the first time Paige was going to see Justin since their last damaging meeting. She was definitely upset about the situation. Justin was just so adamant about having her and although she did find him attractive, she knew they could just never be. He was a danger to her. He was a danger to everyone around him.

            Paige knew that she could not let Justin know that her relationship with Ryan was over. It would just give him more incentive to come after her. Paige didn’t want that drama from neither Justin or JC. She just wanted peace and to finally live her life the way she wanted to. For once she wanted to be in charge of her own destiny.            

            She quietly walked with Trace down the familiar hallway to Justin’s prison cell. There were points when Paige was sure that she might just turn around and run down the hallway. This all just felt like a bad idea for her. She wasn’t sure if seeing Justin again would deter her against him or simply pull her closer. The little common sense she had told her that she needed to stay professional, but it was beginning to get too hard.

            “What the fuck is taking you so long? Hurry up! I want to see my friend!” Trace stated from half way down the hall. Paige hadn’t realized that she was frozen in her tracks.

            “Sorry,” She mumbled and began walking forward. Soon the two were outside of the meeting room. This would be the first time that Paige would see Justin without a metal barrier blocking them from interaction. It was safe to say that she was terrified of his pursuits.

            She was scared that she might actually give in.  

            Paige gave herself a mental peptalk as she walked down the seemingly endless hallway. She told herself that she could see Justin without being effected emotionally. She could interview him and Trace while distancing herself. She just had to. This was her career. She had to be professional.

Trace pushed at the heavy metal door and walked in without a second thought. Paige trailed behind uncertainly. Justin was sitting at a table, hand cuffed and heavily guarded, but still a danger to Paige and her entire world. She swallowed hard as his eyes locked on her. There was always something about the way that Justin looked at her that made her feel naked. She could have been wearing a turtleneck sweater and sweats and she’d feel like she was dressed like a hooker on 42nd street.

“I can’t believe you actually pulled this off…” Justin’s lips turned up into a smile. It looked like tears were glittering in his eyes. Was Justin actually showing emotion? Could that be some sort of breakthrough for him? Paige hoped it was true. She hoped that just maybe, Justin was becoming human again. Maybe he was getting past the seductions and destructions of celebrity. Maybe Paige would get to see a glimpse of the real Justin, the boy he was before fame corrupted him.

Trace and Justin slapped hands and then hugged. Paige wasn’t expecting to see that strong emotion coming from either of those men. They seemed too macho and that testosterone pumped through their veins instead of blood. It was a touching sight to see Trace embracing Justin, and Justin patting his back lightly.

“I told you that you could trust me,” She said quietly. Her brown tresses were pushed behind her ear shyly. Justin separated from Trace and looked over at Paige. There was something more than the usual lust and amazement in his eyes. This time there was gratitude and most importantly, respect.

“I can’t ever express how thankful I am Paige…” Justin reached out to touch her. His hand extended slowly and gracefully and she froze. Her eyes were glued to his hand and the sudden unexplainable urge for his contact.

“And you never have to,” Paige backed away from the two men. She had to cut herself off now. She had to walk away before Justin was humanized any further. If she walked away, she could fight any feeling she might be starting to develop. Space would lead her to be stronger. God only knew how much strength Paige would need to keep herself from getting too involved. “So I’m going to let you guys catch up… um I’ll be back in a few.”

This hadn’t been part of Paige’s plan, but she had to go before she lost her sanity. Part of her knew that she was being a bit dramatic and normally she would have laughed at herself and gotten past it. This time, she couldn’t do that. She was too involved. The idea fluttered through her mind that maybe her father and Ryan had been correct; maybe she was just becoming too obsessed with Justin Timberlake and his dilemma.

No. That couldn’t be it. She wouldn’t let either of them be right. She just needed a breather. A chance to get away so she could pull herself together and turn her emotions off. That was the only explanation she was willing to accept.

“Wait! Don’t go…”

It was so hard to resist the temptation. Paige wanted to stay. She wanted to believe the best in Justin. She would have given anything to be in a different position, to know him under normal circumstances. But this wasn’t normal. Nothing with Paige and Justin would ever be.

“I’m sorry, work calls,” She forced a smile, not quite making eye contact with Justin. “I’ll be back soon.”

Justin continued to protest but Paige barely heard him. She was soon in the hallway, her back pressed against the wall. She sucked the air into her lungs greedily as she fought to calm herself. She wondered if she could ask a random person to slap her across the face. Of course, she’d look insane but that would actually help her to get a grip on herself.

The young woman repeated to herself that what she was feeling for Justin was just lust. It had to be. Her hormones were out of whack, she was upset about her breakup with Ryan, it was almost that time of the month. The various excuses flooded her mind. One or all of them had to fit. Lust was the only emotion that could be tolerable.

“Paige…” The sound of her name startled her. She was unwillingly knocked out of her trance, only to come face to face with JC. Her throat closed up as she saw him watching her with a perplexed look on his face.

What the hell was he even doing here? He and Justin were supposed to be enemies. Paige felt a migraine coming on. She was so confused, so unsure of what was happening. These two men were either both crazy or very good liars; hell, or maybe both applied to them.

“What are you doing here?” Paige asked, her voice barely audible. This was another bout of nervousness for Paige. JC wasn’t supposed to be near Justin, let alone know anything that had been going on. If Justin’s story were true, Paige would imagine that JC would be infuriated that Trace was out of mental care. This could destroy everything she’d worked hard for.

“I came to talk to Justin…” JC’s bright blue eyes burned a hole into Paige. “I didn’t realize you were with him… I could come back.”

“No no… we’re not… I mean, uh I was just leaving…” She had to think quickly and come up with something that would take JC off the premises. “I actually wanted to speak with you again… do you think you’d be up to that?”

JC’s mouth curved into a shockingly angelic smile, “Sure! I’m free right now actually. Are you up to grabbing some lunch?”

Relief washed over her. Paige would do anything to get away from this place and from Justin, not only that but she would keep Trace safe in the process. With a nod of her head, Paige walked side by side with JC. The brunette girl wondered if this could be considered a betrayal.

She forced herself to think otherwise. She wasn’t committed to Justin or his side of the story. The only thing Paige was supposed to do was find out the truth. If it incriminated Justin, then so be it. She needed to further her career by any means necessary. Her thoughts flickered to what her boss, Mr. Katz had said to her. He’d told her an eerily similar thing.

She truly was beginning to believe that maybe her boss had been right all along.

**

            Paige didn’t know how it happened, but somehow, she ended up in the passenger’s seat of JC’s car. It was a gorgeous classic car, restored to its former pride and glory; a cherry red Ford Thunderbird. Paige was almost afraid to move. The last thing she’d want to do was damage something and upset this possible psychopath.

            Anyway, Paige was so lost in her thoughts that she’d managed to get into JC’s car without hesitation. When reality dawned upon her, the reporter tried not to panic. She could only go with the situation with heightened awareness. Freaking out would let JC know that she suspected him.

            “This is a nice car…”

            “Thanks,” He looked over at her as he rolled down the street. The engine of his car purred quietly. “I always wanted to have a classic car. Nothing beats good old American ingenuity.”

            It surprised her that JC was an all American boy. Nothing should have surprised her when it came to any of the *NSync members.

            JC fiddled with the radio, flipping quickly as he stared at the road. He stopped suddenly and a low laugh came from him. Paige stared at him with curiosity. What was so funny about the Bon Jovi song that was coming through the speakers? She wanted to ask but something held her back. Instead, she sat back in her chair, studying him intently.

            This man was so handsome. He had striking features that was apparent to anyone. His eyes were a dazzling blue color that complimented his already striking bone structure. JC looked like someone out of a dream rather than a real person. A dangerous apparition that could destroy her.

            Ha. JC and Justin were more alike than they even realized.

            “This is probably the best song Bon Jovi ever made,” JC stated as he stared off quietly, both his hands gripping the steering wheel. “It’s funny how some music can get you through the toughest of times. Like a therapy.”

            Paige nodded in agreement but stayed silent. She studied JC, his actions seemed to be screaming something obvious out. She bit at her bottom lip, kneading it between her teeth

            “This romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood. It's nothing but some feelings, that this old dog kicked up,” The sound of his singing caught her off guard. It was so beautiful and so completely honest. Clearly JC related to this song… but how? “It's been raining since you left me, now I'm drowning in the flood. You see I've always been a fighter, but without you I give up.”

            “Always” by Bon Jovi was a clear cut song of a lost love. Paige tried to use her sketchy *NSync knowledge to try and pinpoint who exactly it could be about. No one came to mind. JC had always came across as a free spirit. The type who dated around but never settled down. Had there been someone that he cared for behind closed doors?

            Paige knew she was in for more research. She sighed and relaxed in her seat. Part of her wanted to just kick her shoes off and stop being a reporter. It had been a long time since she got the opportunity to just be silly and get to know someone without strange pretenses.

            “I can't sing a love song, like the way it's meant to be. Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore, but baby, that's just me.”

            “Too hell with it,” She thought to herself. She wanted to give in. Hell, at that moment she’d even admit that she wanted to give into Justin. That was dangerous and impossible, but giving in and kicking back with JC just seemed like so much fun. The uptight side of her was suddenly lost.

            “And I will love you, baby – Always,” Paige sang loudly and probably out of tune. A smile formed on her face and a giggle erupted from inside her. JC’s head quickly turned to look at Paige and he laughed with her, his hand removing itself from the steering wheel and reaching over to intertwine with hers.

            She almost pulled her hand away, but she didn’t move. In fact, she did the opposite of what she’d normally do. She squeezed JC’s hand gently, another giggle falling from her lips.

“And I'll be there forever and a day – Always. I'll be there till the stars don't shine, till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme. And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind and I'll love you… always,” Their singing was in union. JC’s of course was in tune and beautiful to hear while Paige’s was barely tolerable, but the fact of the matter was that Paige was content. It’d been a long time since she’d felt like this. It was a nice change to kick back and not be an adult.

            That was Paige’s main issue too. She was always trying to be responsible and mature. Hell, she’d practically felt like an adult since age 14. The rare moments for letting loose were always cherished.

            “You a big Bon Jovi fan?” JC asked as a small breakdown began within the song.

            “Not a huge fan. There’s just a few good songs I like. I think he’s a bit overrated though. I’d rather listen to Sting.”

            “You aren’t like other people, are you?”

            Paige’s right eyebrow raised slightly at his question, “Um… is that a bad thing?”

            “Actually, its really good. Most girls love Bon Jovi because they think he’s hot, not because of his musical talents. Not to mention that you’re racking up the brownie points. Sting is my all time favorite musician.”

            Paige laughed at the excitement coming from JC. His rambling was probably the cutest thing she’d seen in a while.

            “You’re a girl after my heart, Paige,” The supposedly treacherous man chuckled.