Comes Back Around
I woke up the next day with a headache like no other. In fact, I think it might've been a migraine because I would rather get hit by a tracker trailer than wake up like that again. Hangovers. The expected, yet unexpected, aftermath of shots of Tequila and a coconut combination I never had before. I groaned and pulled the sheets over my head. It was all I could do not to throw a shoe at the open window in my suite, trying to kill the glaring sun shining through.
Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep again, waking up a few hours later into the day. I was surprised that I was migraine free and ultimately refreshed by my nap. I was also surprised that Shane was nowhere in sight and hadn't bothered waking me up. That is until I looked to my right. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I read the clock on the wall. 4:52pm. Jesus, how did I sleep the day away?
I hopped out of bed, my feet sinking into the soft carpet. I stretched my arms above my head and stood on my tippy toes, pulling every muscle upward before yawning. I settled down and made my way over to the bathroom. I stood in front of the sink and looked over my face. I frowned. I didn't like my fresh out of bed look. It was tight and uncomfortable, which is what my stomach was when I my mind suddenly flashed back to last night.
To Justin. To rejection. To drinking.
On cue, my temple ached and I fumbled with the medicine cabinet lock. I pushed my toothpaste aside and grabbed the aspirin bottle. I'm happy I thought to bring this. I took two with water from the sink before brushing my teeth and washing my face. I looked over my face again and was glad to see I was looking better.
My pills kicked in quickly and I was grateful, but my head was pounding with thoughts of Justin. He was such an ass to me and despite the fact that I earned it, it still bothered me that he was capable of giving such a cold shoulder. I pouted as I sat on the edge of the tub and turned on the water. My fingers were dipping into the steady flow of warm liquid when a thought occurred.
Sex.
That has always been a good distraction and though my usual escape was Justin, the tables were turned today. Shane was now the one that would remove Justin from my mind. I smiled to myself and turned on the shower before stripping down to nothing and walking out to the bedroom. He wasn't there, I noticed, before I remembered he wasn't there when I had woken up either. Not that I really expected him to sleep in so late. Shane was always an early bird.
Nevertheless, I trotted over to my bureau and pulled out a short, silky robe that felt like heaven on my skin when I put it on. I quietly made my way out of the room and down the halls, looking for any sign of my boyfriend. I was about to give up on the idea when I finally heard him in the kitchen. I gracefully strolled over to the dining area, ready to pounce, until his voice hit my ears.
"I can't," he said, presumably into the phone since I didn't hear anybody else. "I'm busy. . ." I arched a brow and crept up toward the kitchen. His back was to me as he sat on a stool in front of the kitchen island in a wife beater and sweats. ". . . You know I want to, but I'm suppose to be working on-" I paused my breathing when he stopped talking. He didn't say anything or moved from his seat until he laughed and scratched the back of his neck. "Look. . . I. . . Yeah, I know. . . Really?" What the hell was he talking about? Better yet, who was he talking to? "Don't say that. . . Baby, come on. . ."
Baby? Oh hell no.
"Excuse me!" I exclaimed, sending him flying from his seat and ducking like I was going to throw something. Believe me, I wanted to, but there was nothing hard enough to toss.
"Look, I gotta go-" Shane began to say into the phone before I interrupted.
"Oh no, don't end your conversation on my account," I said sarcastically, "You and your baby can go right ahead with your boo-loving session. I'll just sit back and relax."
"Yeah," Shane said, staring at me as he continued to speak, "I'll talk to you." He hung up and a feeling of deja vu passed over me.
"You've got some nerves. . ." I told him with my arms crossed on my chest defensively.
"Look-"
"I thought we were working on us, Shane," I cut in, "How are we suppose to work on us if you're still working on other bitches?!"
"Don't even give me that shit," Shane said, "You can't go pointing fingers-"
"Yeah, I can," I argued, "I'm not the one calling people up trying to get some ass-"
"It wasn't even like that!"
"Then what was it like?" I asked, "Huh, Shane? Answer the fuckin' question."
"Maybe if you shut the fuck up I could!"
"Who are you talking to like that?"
"Nobody," he said, "Absolutely nobody." I bit my tongue and breathed in deeply before exhaling just as strongly.
"You are just. . . unbelievable," I mumbled, "And this is getting really old." I looked down at the floor, willing myself not to cry. We stood quietly and he shifted from foot to foot before sighing deeply.
"Look, I'm sorry," he apologized as I rolled my eyes.
"Don't," I said, silencing him with my hand.
"Baby. . ." I scoffed.
"How many 'baby's do you have?" He gave me a bored look.
"Teresa. . ."
"That's better." I glared at him and his expression softened.
"Can we just. . ." he began as he moved in on me,". . . forget about this?" I backed away and he wrapped me up in his arms. I pushed his chest away and shook my head.
"I'm not. . . I'm not doing this again," I told him.
"It was a stupid phone call."
"Was it the first stupid phone call?" I asked. When he didn't answer I laughed bitterly. "That's what I thought." Shane continued to tower over me and I just stood there, not knowing what to do. I was mad, but too tired to fight.
"I can't help it if they call me," he said suddenly.
"You can ignore the calls."
"They'll keep calling."
"Then keep ignoring them," I stated firmly.
"I can't."
"Why not?!" I cried, "Why can't you? Why can't you just. . . stop?!" My voice cracked and I felt hot tears against my cheeks.
"I'm sorry. . ." Shane cooed, crowding my space I again. I pushed him away with what little strength I had and wiped my face. I felt his hands gently pushing mine aside to dry my tears and I turned away.
"Don't. . . touch me," I said weakly, "Don't. . ." I walked away from him and back to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me. I looked into the mirror above the sink and took in my puffy red eyes. I hated who I saw. This broken, weak woman I never wanted to be. I looked away, shamefully, as I removed my robe, allowing it to fall to the floor.
I climbed into the shower and allowed the water to wash over me. I placed my face beneath the steady stream coming from the showerhead and let it hide my tears and muffle my sobbing.
I officially hated South Beach.
================================================
I should really kick Trace's little smurf ass, but I won't. Not that I still don't want to, but my anger has lessen over the last three hours and I've actually caught myself smiling and laughing a few times. That's quite surprising. I never thought I could have fun on a blind, unannounced date, but now I know better.
Or maybe I just got off lucky this time around.
"I'm a pediatrician." I looked up and nodded approvingly, genuinely impressed.
"So you like kids, I presume," I commented.
"Yeah," she replied happily, "I love 'em." Points for her. Her being Nicole. Peterson. Nicole Peterson. I liked her name. I liked her. At least I did so far. It was only the first date and it was a double one, shared with Trace and Elisha. Although it felt more like a single since they were too busy flirting and giggling in their own happy world. Not that I mind. Nicole made me feel comfortable and made me laugh every two seconds, which earns her more points.
But I wasn't ready to let her know that.
"So. . ." she began as she tried to supress a smile, "What do you do for a living?" I chuckled.
"Well. . ." I laughed, "That's a ridiculous question." She shrugged.
"I thought it was only fair to ask," she told me, "Besides, I got a laugh out of you."
"Yeah," I agreed, "You did." I looked her in her bright brown eyes and smirked. "I love your eyes." It wasn't until the words left my mouth that I wanted to kick myself. "I'm sorry, I just. . . um. . ."
"It's okay," she said, saving me from a stutter extravaganza. "I love your eyes too." And I blushed like a freakin' third grader.
"Thank you," I said, clearing my throat, "So. . . why kids?" She made a face. "Why the career choice?" I clarified.
"Well, I don't know. . ." she shrugged, "I guess it combined my two loves - kids and the medical field. Besides, I get to spend my days watching Barney and eating cookies."
I smiled. "I don't know about Barney, but I can get down with the cookies."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Nicole said, "That dino has some hidden agendas."
"Right?" I agreed enthusiastically, "Waiting for afterschool when the adults are gone. . . Telling them to close their eyes and 'imagine' every five seconds. . ." We laughed.
"Lets not forget the mysterious Barney Bag," she added, "I don't even want to know what goodies he has in there." I laughed out loud and shook my head.
"We're terrible, you know that?"
"Yeah, but I accept my flaws." She sighed. "This is actually pretty fun." I smiled.
"I was thinking the same thing," I confessed, "I thought it would be so weird. . ."
". . . And awkward. . ."
". . . And even painful," I chuckled, eliciting a giggle from her, "But this is nice. . ."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," she said, "Because I was hoping that we could do it again." Did I mention she was confident? Two more points.
"Really?" I asked, trying to sound calm and cool, when I was really anything but.
"Yep," she confirmed, "And I'm pretty sure you want to as well." Make that four points.
"Wow," I said simply, "You're really. . . sure of yourself."
"Is that your way of saying I'm conceited or something?"
"No," I adamently denied, "I meant you're confident, which is a good thing."
"I knew what you meant," she smiled, "I just like to see you sweat." I chuckled.
"Should I be worried?"
"No. . ." she smirked before licking her lips slowly, ". . . maybe." I rose a brow, some unclean thoughts about her tongue running through my mind.
"Why do I get the feeling that that may be a good thing?" All she did was laugh, deep and sensuous. This girl was sexy as hell.
One million points.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I emerged from the bathroom, Shane was nowhere to be found. I figured that he ran out of here to go see whoever was on the phone, but when he came walking into the room a few minutes after I was dressed and ready to go anywhere but here, I knew that wasn't the case.
"Teresa. . ." My back was to him and I didn't care to turn around, or even acknowledge his existance for that matter, so he called my name again. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?. . .
"Can I help you?" I was still pretending that I was looking for something in the bureau's drawer when he wrapped an arm around my waist and turned me around. I was about curse him out for touching me when I took notice of the white roses in his hands. A bouquet of two dozen white roses to be exact. I looked over the white and gold ribbons and the dew covered petals before I looked up at him. "What's this?"
"It's a bouquet."
"No shit, Captain Obvious," I replied bitterly, "What's this about?"
"I take it you don't like them."
"I love them, but that's not the point," I said, "What? Is this suppose to make up for you cheating on me again?" He sighed and rolled his eyes.
"There was no cheating, just words."
"Words that would've lead to actions."
"But they didn't," he said, "And they won't."
"How am I suppose to believe that?" I whined, "Shane, you haven't given me any reason to believe that cheating is out of your system."
"And you've given me a reason to believe that about you?" he shot back.
"I'm not the one making phone calls-"
"No, you're just receiving them and replaying messages." I stiffened. "Yeah, didn't think I knew about that, did you?"
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand. . .
"What are you talking about?" I asked, freigning confusion as I brushed past him and his stupid flowers.
"I'm talking about some whiny bitch calling your phone and leaving some message about missing your ass, and you having the nerves to play it whenever you think I'm not close enough to hear."
"That's. . . different."
"How is that different?" he questioned, "If anything, it's worse."
"Listening to a message and trying to get laid while I'm on a vacation with a person I'm suppose to be working things out with are completely different because I'm not touching or kissing or-"
"But it's still cheating!" Shane yelled, "You're missing somebody that isn't me in a romantic sense. You're emotionally connected to this Justin guy and that's a million times worse then me fuckin' some nameless bitch."
"I'm not. . ." I trailed off, choosing my words carefully, "There's no. . . connection and you're disgusting for even saying it's worse than what you do. That nameless bitch could pass you something that you can pass onto me and-"
"And you never seem to be concerned when I'm fuckin' you, so don't get all worried now." I ran my hands down my face and held in a frustrated scream.
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find. . .
"I have to go. I have to leave now and just get the hell away from you," I announced, walking over to the walk-in closet and grabbing my suitcase. Shane was quiet for a while, but I heard the bed squeak as he sat down and I felt his eyes on me as I tossed in any clothes I could get my hands on.
"Tell Justin I said 'hi'," Shane began and I continued to pack as if I didn't hear him, "'Cause that is where you're going, right? Gotta see your precious Justin. . . Your main squeeze. . . Your boo and part-time lover." He laughed. "So tell me. . .is he like Cher or does he have a last name? What does the guy even look like? Is he black? White? Asian? Maybe hispanic? Maybe. . . A little bit of everything? That would be kinda cool. He'd be all exotic and shit. More exciting than me, I guess. Which would explain why you can't seem to let him go. . . Oh, and is he rich too? 'Cause that would make him better than me as well. He's probably really smart and artsy, you usually go for that kind of guy."
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around. . .
"It's crazy that he has to be all those things to be better than you and yet any bimbo on the street is good enough to bone behind my back," I said, heaving the suitcase off the ground after zipping it up, "You sure know how to make a girl feel special."
"Why is it my job to make you feel special?" Shane asked, "And when did you ever make me feel 'special'?"
"Geeze, I don't know," I said sarcastically, "When I gave you my heart? When I lost my virginity to you? When I cooked and cleaned? When I catered to your ass when you were sick? Is that ringing any bells, Shane?"
"I did the same for you."
"Yeah, and then you just stopped," I stated, "You're the one who strayed away from me. If you had came home to me more than twice a week, maybe we wouldn't be standing here. Maybe we wouldn't be having the same argument over and over and over again."
You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone. . .
"I never made you cheat," Shane argued, "You did that on your own free will."
"The thought of cheating on you never even crossed my mind until you started messing around on me."
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me. . .
"So that makes it okay?" he asked, "Two wrongs don't make a right."
"Then stop being wrong and maybe we can make it right." He laughed, dry and unamused.
"You really think it would be that easy?" He looked at me hard and thoughtfully. "I stop cheating and you'll stop fooling around with Justin?"
"Yes." My stomach knotted because I knew I was kidding myself. It wouldn't be that easy, but I could only hope it would.
Ain't that the way it goes?. . .
"I don't mean you stop fuckin' him, I mean you stop caring. You stop missing. You stop dreaming and hoping. . . I mean you completely cut all things Justin from your life." I let out a quiet, shaky breath as the thought of no Justin ever again settled heavily on my stomach. When I imagined how I would hurt whenever I glanced down at a magazine cover when I shopped in the supermarket. When I envisioned seeing him on t.v. smiling and laughing for the cameras, but seeing the sadness deep in his eyes.
I didn't want it. I didn't want it to be like that, but this man in front of me had engraved himself far too deep into my life for me to just up and leave him.
"I understand," I said, "And I'm willing." Shane pushed himself up from the bed with his fists and walked over towards me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. For a moment he just towered over me, observing me and searching my eyes. The room was so quiet that I could hear us both breathing, my breath more quick and jagged than his.
I almost flinched when he suddenly moved his hand from his side and placed on my cheek, gently stroking my face with his thumb. He stared at me longer before completely pulling away.
"I don't believe you," he said simply before he turned around and walked out of the room, just like that.
It wasn't until I heard the front door open and close that I picked my jaw up off of the floor, as well as my suitcase. I was running around the room picking up miscellaneous things when I spotted Brownie on the floor by the bed. I stopped and stared at him before I slowly walked over and retrieved him from the carpeted ground. His soft fur felt like silk against my skin and I was instantly comforted. I hugged the teddy to my chest and took in a deep breath, swearing that I smelt Justin's cologne. I closed my eyes and remenised a while longer, wondering why I even left at all when I could've been curled up to Brownie in my own bed, not worrying about Shane or the rest of the world.
"Let's go get your Cookie." I tucked my bear beneath my arm and slipped on my beaded sandals in the corner of the room. My purse was waiting on the coffee table for me, as well as my cell phone. I grabbed it all and heaved a sigh before I walked out of that hotel room, leaving Shane and all his shit behind.
At least for a little while.
What goes around comes back around. . .
===========================================
"Come here, girl!" I cooed, bending down to place my hand in front of Bella's wet nose, "That's my girl. Yes you are! Yes you are!" Yes she was. She was my oldest and most loved dog. I wish that all woman were as simple as her. A little food, a little pet, and a little attention, and they'd always be loyal and true.
If only.
"I swear, you talk to that dog like it's your baby." My mama laughed, drying her hands with a paper towel as she left the kitchen to greet me and Bella at the door. I smiled brightly and kissed her cheek before we both took a seat on the sofa.
"She is my baby," I told her, "Aren't you, my belle?" She barked in response and stood proudly, jumping up on my leg. "See, she knows I'm her daddy."
"Hmm. . ." she mumbled thoughtfully before tapping my knee with her hand, "So tell me. . . how's things?"
"Good," I answered nonchalantly, petting and playing with Bella on the sofa as she tried to jump up onto my lap. It was a cute, yet sad attempt since she was so small.
"Good as in 'I'm glad it's over' or good as in 'We're hitting it off really well'?" I should've known she was referring to Nicole and I rather than my actual well-being.
"Good as in the latter." She squealed excitedly and I put up my hand to calm her down. "Now, before you start making up wedding plans and discussing grandchildren, I'm going to let you know that we're both taking this really slow. It's only been about two weeks, so the squealing is a bit premature."
"But the fact that you're liking this girl so much is a huge improvement," she said, as if I didn't already know, "God, I can't even remember the last girl you dated." How sad - neither could I.
"Well, that was the old guy," I said smugly, "You're going to see a lot more dating around here."
"I'm sure," she gushed, "Tell me about her. What's she like? Is she religious? Does she cook? Can she dance?"
"Ma. . ." I whined, although I did want to share.
"Come on. . ." She pouted and gave me that stupid 'please' face and I couldn't even hold my ground for a second. Damn it. She's my mama. The least I could do is give her some details.
"Okay, she's Catholic, but not strict about it. She kinda has her own spiritual thing with the big man upstairs. Like me, I guess."
"Oh, something in common!" I laughed at her enthusiasm.
"She can cook. Well, that's what she says anyway. She's coming over this weekend to make dinner - her idea - so I guess I have to wait and see."
"She's already catering to you!" my mom squealed again, "This is so exciting."
"And to answer your last question," I continued though my cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, "She can dance. She's no Ciara, but she has her rhythm. Oh and she has good taste in music. When we went to Xion's the other night with Trace and 'em, the DJ played a couple of songs I loved and she knew every lyric to every track."
"This is so good, baby," my mom breathed, "I'm so happy for you and I can finally see you're happy for yourself as well." I was happy. Very much so. Despite the fact that I had some minor relapses into misses Teresa, I've been steady thus far. Nicole has been a great distraction. I've spoken to her on the phone everyday since our first date and we do have a lot in common. Even when we find things we disagree on (like golf), we find a way to find the good in the bad or we simply state our views and move on.
That was a refreshing change. Conversation. Connection. Anything beyond the physical trap I was once caught in. I felt like a new person. Who would've thought a bad encounter and a blind date ambush would work the miracle it has?
"Yeah, me too, ma." I picked Bella up off the floor and placed her on my lap. "Me too."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Girl, thank you so much," I gushed as I ate a spoon of ice cream, "I'm really sorry this is taking so long. I just don't know how to get the balls to go pack my stuff."
"It's okay," Nicky assured me, "You can stay as long as you want."
"You say that, but do you mean it?" She laughed.
"Now you of all people should know I would kick your ass out if I was annoyed," she said, causing me to smile, "So don't worry. Besides. . . you've been cooking me breakfast and preparing my lunch, so I cannot complain."
"Well, it's the least I can do," I told her, "Besides, I have extra time. With you going out every night, the house is hardly a mess, so I can barely clean for you."
"I know, but I'm not sorry," she laughed, "I think I'm going to have a man by the end of this weekend." I smiled and rose a brow.
"Is that so?" I asked as she nodded. "Will this man be the same person you've been yapping on the phone with for the past two weeks?"
"Yes, it will," she nodded, "Oh, I hope my cooking gets him. He loves to eat, even though he doesn't look it."
"He's one of those skinny little things, huh?"
"Yep, but he is FINE!" We both laughed.
"Well, when do I get to meet this fine brotha?" She giggled and looked away.
"Well, he's not a brotha, per se. . ."
"Oh, okay!" I laughed. "Well, when do I get to meet this young man?"
"I don't know. . ." she mumbled, "Maybe one of these days he'll turn up around here, butt ass naked right next to moi." We both went into hysterics and tears formed in my eyes. She was too much sometimes.
"You are a trip," I commented, "That boy better watch out."
"He is all man," she corrected, "And smart and funny and sweet and respectful. . ."
"Mmm. . ." I mumbled, "Those are the ones that are definitely too good to be true. He might be gay, so watch out."
"He's not gay," she laughed, "But . . . I don't know."
"Don't be shy," I told her, "Not that you're really capable of that."
"Shut up," she smiled, tossing a couch cushion at me, "It's just that he won't. . . make a move."
"Which means he's not perverted."
"Or gay."
"Ha!" I teased, "You caught yourself a fairy." She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes.
"I won't lay it on me, girl," she whined, "I mean. . . no hand holding. No kissing. No. . . nothing. And it's not like he hasn't done any of that before."
"Well, how do you know?" I asked, "Maybe he's a virgin."
"Like hell he is," she said, "A man of his profession has to get around."
"What is he?" I asked curiously, "A movie star? A basketball player?"
"Something like that. . ."
"What's with all the secrecy?" I asked, "And who is he anyway?"
"Damn, you ask a lot of questions."
"And you give a little bit of answers," I shot back, "Is he really that great?"
"Yep," she told me, "And that's all you need to know."
"Well, that's ashame," I said, "'Cause all I know right now is that your boy is an uptight, prudish homo with a lot of groupies." She laughed heartily.
"That sounds about right," Nicky yawned, "Anyways, it's getting late, Tee. I'm going to lay the hell down."
"Dreaming of your lover, eh?" She stood from the sofa and smiled mischeviously.
"None of your business, fool," she told me over her shoulder as she ascended upon the stairs, "Don't leave my t.v. on all night. That shit ain't free."
"Yes, Sargent," I said firmly as I saluted her. She chuckled and continued up the stares until I could no longer hear her.
"Oh, Teresa!" Nicole yelled, "You can just come up now 'cause I can't sleep with you being awake and alone. You know I worry." I rolled my eyes, but clicked off the television anyway.
"Damn, Nicky," I whined as I walked upstairs, "You're always bossing me around."
"This is my house and I am a boss," she joked.
"Whatever, child."
"That's Miss. Peterson to you." I shoved her playfully and we both laughed as we separated up the hall and into our own rooms. As I slid into bed, I thanked the Lord for Nicole. I would be out on my ass if it wasn't for her. Shane's house wasn't an option and after Justin's fiasco in South Beach, I wasn't ready to face him just yet. So Nicky opened up her doors to me and I've been doing my part as well as working my ass off to help her with bills she insists I don't pay.
"Yo, Tee," Nicole whispered as she knocked on my door.
"It's open," I informed her. She slowly turned the knob and pushed it open, allowing her to poke her head and shoulders in.
"Do you want to meet him?" she asked evasively, but I knew who she was referring to.
"Damn straight," I smiled.
"Fine 'cause we're meeting up tomorrow and my brother wants to interrogate him." I rolled my eyes at the thought of Jerome.
"Sounds like a plan," I told her. She smiled and even through the darkness it was bright.
"Girl, you're gonna love him, I swear."
"I bit I will," I yawned, "But now I want to love up some sleep." She laughed.
"I feel you," she said, "Goodnight."
"'Night." She shut the door behind her and I turned onto my stomach, tucking my heads beneath my pillow to better support my head. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but I was excited. Excited to meet Nicole's new 'man'. I don't know why. It's not like he was mine, but Nicky hadn't been out much since some Greg character dumped her for his ex about three years back, so this was a huge deal. Whoever this guy was, I liked him already. He made her smile with even being in the room. That was something and I couldn't wait to meet him.
----
Song Credit(s):
"What Goes Around/Comes Back Around" - Justin Timberlake
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
