Lovers and Friends
"Come on. . ." I rolled my eyes at her whining and sighed.
"Nick-"
"Please, Resey. . .Please!" I rolled my eyes, feeling awfully defeated.
"I don't feel like it." That was honest enough.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because. . ." I trailed off, feeling bashful and ashamed as I switched the phone from one ear to another, killing some time.
"Because???" she egged on. I sighed, fiddling around with the remote in my hand as I leaned by into the couch cushions behind my back.
"Because. . ." Because I'm lame I thought before I bit my bottom lip.
I've been putting off this meeting of her 'boyfriend' now for the past three weeks simply because I couldn't deal. I couldn't deal with meeting this wonderful guy that I didn't have. I couldn't deal with the lovey-dovey shit that they were going to do to torture me mercilessly. I just couldn't deal with her happiness being rubbed all in my face as I mourn the loss of two significant male figures in my life. The two figures that I cannot even speak of or hear a mention of their names.
Every night when she came home beaming, I would be laid up on the sofa, stuffing my face with ice cream. I just looked like a lonely bastard and she knew it, so she would always try and cheer me up with how terrible her day at work was and whatever other crap came up. Then she would talk about him. Mr. Casanova himself. She would say he was a great kisser. She would say he smelled good or had strong arms and blah, blah, blah. Everything about him had me reminiscing about my past and how I went from having two to none in a matter of a few weeks.
"Rese. . . please. You're my girl and I'm really feeling this dude. I want you to let me know if I should try and make this serious. I want your honest opinion on him and you can't give me one if you haven't had a single conversation with him."
"Well, the way you blab about him makes it seem like he's an all right guy. What do you need me for?"
"You know how I get with men. . . Praise the good, ignoring the bad." Ain't that 'bout the truth. Nicky sure knew how to pick 'em.
"Nicole. . . Man. . . Shit." She laughed because that was my way of saying 'okay, I'll go', and she loved it when she got her way.
"Thank you. Don't be late." She hung up before I could bitch some more and I threw my head back, biting my lip to prevent myself from screaming.
----------------------------------------------------------------
I was nervous. I was meeting one of Nicole's friends. She spoke so highly of this girl that you would swear that she was her mother. She told me they were close. Close enough for her to dissect me piece by piece to make sure I was remotely good enough for her. She laughed when she said it, but I just felt even more bothered by it rather than amused.
I was always the guy whose palms would sweat as he practiced what he was going to say in front of the mirror for hours so that he could make a great first impression. This time was no different. This friend of hers could make or break my happiness and I really would hate for her to break it. Nicole and I have been doing so well.
"Hey," Nicole smiled brightly as she spotted me walking up to her in front of a discreet cafe on Arimango Avenue. She tucked both her hands into mine and stood on her toes to place a kiss against my cheek. I blushed lightly and smiled back at her.
"Hey," I repeated, looking her in the eyes for a long while before we both laughed and pulled apart. She still intertwined our fingers as we strolled over to the tables.
"Don't worry, she's not here yet." I chuckled lightly.
"Am I that transparent?" She nudged me and squeezed my hand reassuringly.
"Don't be so nervous, Justin," she told me gently, "She's really cool and laid back. She'll love you, I'm sure." Yeah, that's what they all say. That's what I hated about meeting new people. The person that you know always tells you they'll love you when the fact of the matter is that they'll smile in your face and talk shit about you once they get home. I can already give you a list of things she could criticize me for.
"Okay." Even though I wasn't okay, Nicole took for what it was and didn't speak until we settled at our table. We sat there and chit chatted mindlessly as we both ordered drinks, waiting for her friend to arrive before we ordered our food. I checked my watch a million and one times before Nicole placed her hands on my wrist and laughed.
"Stop, okay? She's late. She's always late. I guess I should've told you that."
"Ten minutes isn't too bad."
"No, it's not, but- there she is!" I made a face and watched as she stood from her seat, waving at someone over my shoulder. Someone who was her friend. The make or break friend. I checked my breath, straightened my shirt and rubbed my hands through my hair. Everything seemed to be in working order. My legs weren't wobbily when I stood. My smile was in full swing before I even turned around. It was all going so well . . . until I saw her friend.
My enemy.
My lover.
My Teresa.
And my very own heart attack.
----------------------------------------------------------
I hadn't intentionally shown up late. The fact of the matter was that I was trying to look good for this guy Nicole has been raving about from the moment they started dating. My car wouldn't start for a few minutes and then there was a bit of traffic and the trouble with parking, but I had arrived; safe and sound.
At least I thought I was safe and there wasn't a sound. At least not in my head. All the noise of the streets and the sound of Nicky's cheerful voice had fallen on my deaf, numb ears because. . . there he was. Standing. Staring. Looking as horrified as I felt.
And cute.
"I'm glad you made it." I blinked, breaking the uncomfortable contest of eyes between Justin and I; forcing my attention onto Nicky who was completely unaware of the chaos going on in front of her.
"Sorry," I apologized, slapping on a smile. "Shit happens, ya know?" Those words have never had such meaning before.
"Yeah, I know." She tucked her arm in mine and guided me over to the table where Justin still stood, staring. "Rese, this is Justin. Justin, this is Teresa." A look passed over his face like he was going to say something undoubtly stupid, so I cut in before he had the chance.
"Well, it's nice to finally meet you." I extended my hand and smiled up at him, silently signalling him to go along with my act. He slowly, but surely caught on, shaking my hand lightly before dropping it.
"Nice to meet you too." I bet. . . I thought, somehow finding the humor in it all.
"So, let's order," Nicky, thankfully, cut in before silence settled, "I'm starving." I had been starving too until the sight of Justin made me nauseous. It wasn't him, per se, it was the awkward irony of the situation.
Of all the Justin's in the world. Of all the Nicky's in the world. . . Why mine?
My mind traveled back to all those random conversations and statements Nicky and I made. All the quick and teasing questions I asked. Can he kiss? and Is he tall, short, or inbetween? All the girly shit that was innocent enough was haunting me now. I was inwardly cringing at the thought of him and Nicky holding hands, let alone something else.
"So. . . Teresa," Justin said suddenly, causing me to meet his eyes again, "How are you? Today, I mean. . . How was your day?" I smirked, happy that I wasn't the only nervous one.
"Fine. Life's been okay. . . Kinda boring, you know, but okay." He blinked. "What about you? Holding up alright?"
"Yep," he answered cheerfully, taking Nicole's hand and kissing it, "I'm doing more than okay." My heart tumbled down to my stomach as they ogled each other. I knew he wanted to tear me up by rubbing his relationship in my face. This was his golden opportunity to make me feel like crap again and he sure as hell was taking it.
"So. . . what do you do for a living?" Both Nicole and Justin looked up at me like I was crazy, but soon settled as Justin cleared his throat.
"I'm a performer," he answered professionally.
"Really?" I asked, "Like a ballet dancer or a stripper?" He choked on his water and I giggled. "I was only kidding."
"Of course," he said, smiling, "So, are you in either of those professions?"
"Justin!" Nicole reprimanded.
"What?" he asked innocently, "I was kidding. We're both intitled to joke around, right?" He was talking to her, but staring at me.
"Right," I agreed. "We're both intitled to a lot of things." And there it was; silence. Good ol' awkward silence. Nicole looked so confused that I felt bad for her. If only she knew.
"Are you ready to make your orders?" We all looked up at our waitress as she held her notepad and pen in hand. My stomach growled instinctively and I rested my hand over my stomach.
"I'll have a roast beef sandwich and a glass of lemonade, please." Justin handed her his menu and Nicole ordered next.
"I'll have a chicken salad and an iced latte."
"Okay. . . and you, ma'am?" It was my turn and I was trying to pick between a turkey club or a mandarin orange salad when Mr. Timberass cleared his throat and sighed. I looked up and he rose a brow of impatience and leaned slightly back in my chair and gave it right back.
"I'll have the turkey club and a glass of water, please." The waitress nodded and walked away, giving me a clear view of Justin's face as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Are you guys all right?" Nicole asked worriedly, "You aren't mad at each other. . . right?"
"Of course not, baby," Justin cooed, wrapping his arm over her shoulder. I took in the delicate touches of his fingers against her bare arm. "Teresa and I are getting along just fine. Right, Teresa?"
"Mmmhmm. . ." I mumbled with a smile thrown in Nicky's direction. She seemed relieved as she settled against him casually as if they've been together for years. They looked comfortable though. Comfortable enough to make me fidget as they fiddled with each other's fingers. I tried to tolerate it for a while, but enough was enough.
"So. . . Justin, tell me about yourself." I slipped my foot from my high-heeled shoe and casually ran it up his leg. Justin kept his gaze on me and his arm around Nicole as he pretended to be unfazed.
"What do you want to know?" I smiled, raising my leg up to his thigh.
"What do you like?" I asked, "What are your favorite things?" I punctuated my question by resting my foot between his legs.
"Well," he began, "I love golf. Music. Singing. . ."
"Uh huh. . ." I pressed my foot against him and he fliched slightly.
"I also love respectable women, like Nicole," he said before crosses his legs, trapping my foot uncomfortably between his thighs. I smiled and tried to play off the pain that was forming in my ankles.
"Really?" Nicole giggled and my mind wondered if she was really laughing at me.
"Yep," he continued, grinning like a fool, "I can't stand those footsy-playing groupie types. The last girl I was with was like that. . . Couldn't stand her." He squeezed his legs tighter and I bit back a groan. This motherfucker was going to break my foot with his boney ass legs.
"Will you two excuse me?" I asked, "I have to run to the ladies' room."
"Okay," Justin said, finally uncrossing his legs and discreetly pushing my foot away with his free hand. I twisted my ankle around to try and get some feeling back into it before slipping on my shoe. I stood and it hurt. Justin smiled in my direction as I limped away from the table and into the restaurant. I found a rest room in the back corner and made a beeline for it. As soon as I checked that nobody was in there, I cursed up a storm, letting out my frustration.
Since when did Justin become so good at making me feel bad? Since when was he able to say no to me?
I looked into the vanity mirrors that lined the walls above the sinks and stared at myself. I didn't look much different than before. My make up was done. My hair was done. My outfit was cute and got damnit, I left the house feeling great 'cause I looked great, but now. . . I don't know.
I sighed to myself as looked down at the sink when the door opened and closed. I can't even get five seconds alone.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped my attention to the mirror and was surprised to see Justin staring at my reflection. I turned around to make sure he was really there, and sure enough he was. His arms were crossed against his chest and he was scowling at me, as if I were a bad child who needed to be punish.
"You do know this is the ladies' room, right?" He rolled his eyes.
"I'm very aware of that," he grumbled, "But are you aware of why you're here?"
"I was gonna pee, but I don't feel comfortable doing that with you standing here."
"Stop joking around," Justin said, "You're here because your friend brought you here to meet her boyfriend who just happens to be me."
"So. . . she's your girlfriend, huh?" I asked, leaning against the sink, "That's cute."
"Look, Teresa, you may not take this seriously, but I do."
"Take what seriously?" I asked.
"My relationship."
"Well, excuse me," I laughed, "I didn't know it was 'serious'."
"Well, it is."
"A couple week-old shindig is serious nowadays?" I asked rhetorically. "You're acting like you love this girl."
"Don't refer to her like she's nothing. She's one of your best friends," Justin told me, "And yes, it is a serious thing. At least it's growing into something serious."
"It's been a few weeks," I stressed, "You barely know her."
"I know more about her than I do about you," he shot back, "And she's given me more in these last three weeks than you have in years."
"Whatever," I mumbled, turning my back to him and digging through my purse for lip gloss, "If you came in here to harass me, you can just leave 'cause I don't have time for it."
"Oh, so now I'm harassing you?" he asked, "You were the one copping a feel a few minutes ago." I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"You can really kiss my ass, Justin," I said, checking my lips for any need of touch-up.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" I reapplied my lip gloss and smacked my lips.
"I don't even know what you're talking about." I turned to stomp out, but he blocked my path, staring down at me with dark blue eyes.
"I'm talking about rejection," he clarified. I looked away.
"Justin-"
"It's not so great on the other end of it, is it?"
"Fuck you." He laughed, hard and bitter.
"I bet you wish you could," he whispered, "But you missed that chance to have me and I'll be damned if you get another one." I was so angry I wanted to cry. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to tell him he was right.
"Don't try to get all cocky now," I said, "I really don't give a damn about you and your supposed relationship, okay? If you want to be with Nicole, be with her. I really don't care."
"Somehow I doubt that," he smirked, "But whatever. Put up your front and give me the run around. You were never good with being honest, so I'm not surprised. . ." Insulted wasn't even the word. "Just. . . please do me one last favor. . . Try not to fuck this up for me. That's all I ask." He strolled out of the rest room and left me standing there in front of the mirror. A felt a hot liquid and wiped it from my face.
A tear.
It didn't seem like it even came from my eyes, but I knew that it did. I just hope Justin hadn't seen it form or fall, for that matter. The last thing I needed was for him to have another thing to hang over my head. I fixed my make up and made my way out to the table again, not even bothering to meet Justin's eyes for the rest of the lunch date.
I knew I couldn't deal. I knew I should've cancelled and just stayed in bed instead.
---------------------------------------------
"So. . ." Nicole was grinning wildly and I was trying to ignore her presence completely.
"So what?" I asked as she sat on the floor at my feet like a hungry puppy, begging for food.
"So . . . what do you think?"
"About?" I asked nonchalantly as I flipped through the pages of a Better Homes magazine.
"About Justin!" she giggled, "Come on, it's been a full twenty-four hours and I've gotten nothing out of you willingly."
"Well, I don't have much to say. . ." I mumbled, "He's a . . . nice guy." She made a sour face as if she didn't believe me before pouting.
"You don't like him?" she asked and stated at the same time.
"It's not that I don't like him-"
"Oh my god, Rese! Why don't you like him?!" I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"I do like him, Nick, really. He's sweet and he's very affection. I think he's a great guy and as long as you're happy, I'm happy for you."
"That is such crap," Nicole snapped, "Just say you hate him so that I can break up with him already." I took that into consideration. . . Serious consideration before realizing I was being unfair. I've known Nicole since sixth grade and I've never seen her this damn happy before. Even if Justin hated me, I didn't hate him so I wanted him happy as well. . . Even if it wasn't with me.
"No, Nicky, don't do that," I said, "Don't let him slip away. He's one of those guys that has a line of exes who look back and think 'damn, I really fucked up when I broke things off with him.' You've got a hot, caring, smart, funny, sweet, romantic guy who glows whenever you're around him. Don't throw that away, cherish it, okay?" I breathed in deeply and Nicole stared at me, confused and curious. I stared back until I felt the sudden urge to cry. I looked away, praying that nothing was showing in my eyes.
"Wow," Nicole said softly, "You made it sound really. . . I don't know."
"That doesn't matter. Just do what I say, okay?" I wanted her to leave me alone. I wanted to just find a way to not care as much as I knew I did. I wanted to actually be happy for the both of them instead of hating the idea of them being together.
"Okay," Nicole said, standing and petting my head, "You all right?" I nodded and tossed the magazine next to me.
"I'm as good as I'll ever be," I mumbled. She nodded and said she was going to the store. The moment she left, I made my way over to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and stared at my reflection.
I was as good as I'd ever be.
I sighed.
I really hoped that wasn't true.
Story Tags: Be the first to add a tag to this story
