Seventeen missed calls and eight voicemails in less than twenty four hours. I wasn't sure if they were all from him but I'm sure more than one is him. I was beyond irritated and I didn't want to talk to him. It was the night before the rehearsal dinner for a wedding I was going to go through with. I had faced the reality of life and decided that my happiness didn't outweigh the other options. My life is what it is.

Justin had made his choice and it was time for me to face the music. I had to breathe in the morning air and listen to the voicemails, just in case it was something important.

"Bells, its Justin. I'm a couple hours outside of New York City. I can't wait to see you. You are probably working but I want to see you. Call me when you get a chance." Delete.

"Arabella it's your mother... reminding you that you have to pick you your dress today." Delete.

"Arabella it's your mother.... Again. Try answering your phone once and a while you need to... " Delete. I don't need to hear anything she has to say.

"It's Lake, I can't get a hold of you, what is going on?  I have lots to tell you. I want to see you."  You can't get a hold of me because I have been avoiding your phone calls. That takes a genius to figure out, I thought.

 "Arabella Kinsey..." a male voice reined. It was a voice that I haven't heard in a very long time. "It's Andre Person, I'm in town and I would love to see you. Maybe we could meet for lunch today. Call me, I need to talk to you." Save. I was going to go to lunch with him.

"It's me again ...I" he pauses, "I went to the hospital to see you and they told me you were off work because you were getting married this weekend. Bells why didn't you tell me? Why is the wedding pushed up? I thought we were going to deal with this? Call me back, please..." I swallow the lump in my throat and hit delete.

"Bells, I don't know what's going on but whatever it is, I would really like to hear it from you. Why are you avoiding my calls?" Finally he realizes that. "I need to know that you are ok. I need to hear your voice..."

"ARABELLA KINSEY this is your mother..." Delete. Again I don't care what she has to say.

It's sad that it was only 9:00 in the morning and I wanted a drink. I needed something to calm my nerves. It was going to take me a lot of alcohol to get through the next couple days. How I was going to manage I wasn't sure. I had to be an adult and I had to call Justin, I hoped and prayed that when I did, I would get his voicemail. Talking to him would only makes me want cave in, I couldn't do that.

Picking up the phone I brace myself, for whatever might happen.

One single ring and he picked up. "Bells... where the hell have you been, I have been trying to get a hold of you."

"Justin- "I cut him off, "I am fine. I am off of work because of the upcoming wedding." I felt the lump becoming more apparent. "I need you to know that I loved you. I loved you more than I ever thought I could love someone. You can continue with whatever is going on in your life right now... you can continue to move on from me."

"Bells what is going on? I thought we were fine? I thought everything was finally working out for the two of us. Please tell me you are not going to give into your parents and marry that guy? Bells that's not who you are."

"I don't know who I am anymore Justin. I trusted you enough to leave my entire family behind and look where it got me..."

"Where did it get you? Bells, I'm so confused right now." He was panicking now.

"I love you Justin" my voice started to shake and the quivering of the bottom lip started, "I loved you."

"Stop... what is going on." He pleaded.

"Justin, I can't do this anymore. I'm setting your free. You can be with whomever you want to freely now. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm sorry if I cause any harm to your career. There is nothing I can do now to take any of it back." I clicked off the phone without hearing anything he had to say. I officially felt empty. I had no emotion and no pain, just empty.

The emptiness I had felt before is no comparison to what it is now. I felt hollow.

Andre Person was someone I have known for quite some time. I met him just after graduation from college, right before I went to med school. We met randomly and became fast friends and kept contact over the years. He was never in the same place for too long. We were alike in a lot of ways. Sometimes it took us weeks to reply to an email and sometimes we were right on top of the emails. We both were busy.

"Sorry I'm late." He says as I stand to hug him. He pushes out his chair and sits at the table across from me. "I just had a huge issue with Justin. He wanted to cancel tonight's show. He said he wasn't in the place mentally to do a show. It's crazy because I have never heard him say that before. I have never seen him in pieces like that." He shakes his head in disbelief.

"Justin?" I asked, thinking there was no way he could being talking about the Justin that instantly popped up in my head.

"Justin...Timberlake. I thought..." he looked confused, "I thought you guys were together? You are all he talks about. I guess I shouldn't assume things."

I lowered my head in my hands, "It's difficult."

"There's nothing difficult about it. You two are obviously in love... you should be together."

"How do you know Justin?" I asked attempting to change the subject.

"You really do lose touch with reality don't you? I have been Justin's tour manager for years... many many years."

"Sorry the whole medical school thing kept me busy." I laughed, "But I'm here now, how are you?"

"Don't change the subject... what's going on with you two?"

"I'm getting married the day after tomorrow." I blurted out.

"WHAT? To who?"

"My family's marriages are arranged. I'm no different."

"That's bullshit."

"Well its reality." I said staring at my plate, pushing the salad around with my fork.

"This is why Justin is like this today... Damn, that man is really in love with you."

"He wasn't too in love with me while he has been dining out with that brunette..."
"What brunette?" he questioned.

"I don't know who she is, but I saw the pictures. He has moved on."

"Arabella, I can sit here and tell you with 100% confidence that whatever you saw wasn't what you think it was... you need to talk to him about all of this."

"Yea, I'm weak I couldn't. I just broke things off with him." I would be surprised if he ever wanted to speak to me again.

                We talked for nearly an hour before he said he had to go. "Justin has a show tonight at Madison Square Garden. I will leave your name at will call and they will have tickets and passes for you. Show up. Talk to him. You owe it to yourself before you marry this other guy. Just show up."

My mother was not happy with me when I returned to the house hours later without my dresses. I may be going through with this wedding but it still didn't mean that I wanted to be doing it. Instead of listening to her I vanish to my bedroom. But it wasn't long before she was barreling through my door with dress bags in her hands. "Try them on. All of them. Make sure they fit." She demanded.

I rolled my eyes as I stared at the ceiling, fully dressed, shoes and all laying spread eagle across the bed. "I don't want to be doing this tonight okay. I just want to lay here. I want to do nothing. I want to think about nothing."

"Well this isn't about what you want to do Arabella."

"It never is." I said loud enough for her to hear.

She tosses the dress bags onto the chair, "What is your problem now? You are such an ungrateful child."

I snapped up off the bed, "An ungrateful child? Seriously you want to go there?"

"No, I don't. I want you to try those dresses on."

I jumped up off that bed and walked straight for the door. "It's not always about what you want mother."

I left. I didn't have a clue where I was going to go but I wasn't going to stay in that house any longer. There was too much going on in my head to be in that house. I drove and drove and finally I ended up outside of Madison Square Garden in the city. I parked in the closest parking garage and walked slowly down the street. I stood outside of that will call window for what felt like forever trying to decide if I was going to do this or not.

"Ma'am, can I help you?" the woman behind the glass asks.

"The name's Arabella Kinsey. There is supposed to be a ticket for me."

"Oh yes. Andre just gave it to me. Do you have a photo ID?"

I shuffled through my purse looking for my wallet. I don't know how it was so hard to miss but I managed to miss it five or six passes through the entire purse. Handing her the ID she looks up at me and back down at the picture on the card. "Ok, if you just go through that door and make a left, there is a security guard there that will tell you where you need to go to find them."

I nodded my head, turned and walked through the doors. Going through security and finally make my way down the hallway. I wasn't sure I should be doing this. I wasn't sure if this is what he needs right before a show.

Everyone was rushing around; they were all dressed and ready for the show.

"You made it." Andre says when he sees me walking down the hall toward him.

"I did."

"Unfortunately Justin is about to hit the stage. Go to your seat, watch the show." He turns to walk away then turns back, "Stay for the entire show." He stressed, "Then come back afterwards. I will make sure he stays at the venue and waits for you."

I felt like I was out of place. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel lost."

He walks over to me, hugs me... "Sometimes you have to step out of the box to be found."

Instead of telling him to shut up I went to find my seat.

The curtain drops and the crowd goes crazy. Everyone around me was screaming at the top of their lungs. The group of girls next to me begins to hyperventilate. "Oh my God!" was all the kept saying. He has devoted fans that love him dearly. I stood in awe and watched as the he stepped out on that stage. The roar of the crowd never dimmed. He stood still watching the crowd, watching their reaction.

"NEW YORK CITY!!!! How are we feeling?"

The crowd screams even louder, if that was possible.

"I FUCKING LOVE NEW YORK CITY!" he screams with a huge smile on his face...