You are dead to me.

I felt my heart sink to the floor, leaving a gapping whole in my chest. How could a father, any father wish this upon his child. A child should get the opportunity to say goodbye. A child should never feel the emptiness I feel right now.

Jeremy looked at me with water overflowing his eyelids before lowering his head. This wasn't something he wanted to be doing, but it was simply his job. He whispers to me, "If I didn't have my children to think about... I wouldn't hesitate to letting you through. I would gladly be fired to ease your heartache right now... I just can't do it. I'm so sorry."

I was pissed but I knew this wasn't his fault in any way. "I understand Jeremy, and I would never ask you for that. Thanks."

I turned around to see Justin, he was irate. His face was flushed and he was pacing around the room shaking his head in disbelief. I was beyond irate at this point. I had mix feelings as to what I was going through. I wanted to at least make amends. This was the end; I couldn't believe that this was going on. Their unbelievable traditions and Bloodline bullshit was going to prevent me from seeing them at a time like this. They think I made the wrong choice. But they just made a worse choice.

I storm across the room, leaving Justin to talk to the security guard. If I would have stayed there one minute longer I would have exploded on the ones that didn't deserve it. There was no way we were getting around their orders but he was trying. I rounded the corner and stopped in my tracks, leaning my head against the cold concrete wall. I heard him making suggestions but there was nothing he could do either. He may be, ‘Justin Timberlake' but in this hospital my father had all the reins to pull.

I heard Omar approach the doors and start talking to Justin in a low tone. I stood on the other side of the hallway, listening. I heard Justin say, "She just wants to say goodbye. I think she needs to do this. I think she will be heartbroken if she doesn't get this chance."

Omar punches the wall. "All these choices she has made are selfish and irresponsible. This is our family. This is our father that may die. Why is she making this about her?"

Justin looks at Omar with stern eyes, and a hurt heart. "Bells doesn't have a selfish bone in her body. She came all the way here, even after everything he said to her...." He shakes his head, irritated, making his voice stern he says, "She is here for him. That shows how much she respects him. If I was in her shoes I don't think that I could even show up here today."

"My father is about traditions and following the Bloodline. Arabella," he stressed on her name, "Has broken that, he doesn't like to be betrayed."

Justin was getting angrier with every word that came out of his mouth, "Saying to your daughter... that she is dead to him, is selfish. Being a parent is all about making choices and hoping your children follow those choices in life... but sometimes you have to honor what they have chosen and support them. Approval or not, you support your children."

"Justin, please don't stand here pretending you know how to raise a child or that you know anything about our family. You have not known Arabella as long as you make it seem you do." He turns to walk away, turns back to hear what Justin has to say.

"Falling in love with Bells was something that came so natural. She makes loving her so easy to do. She has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known in my life... Watching her cry herself to sleep over the situation for days on end was a clear sign that her decision wasn't something she easily came to. There were many days I would watch the pain in her eyes and know that she couldn't bear it anymore. Watching the love of your life going through so much pain and heartbreak isn't the easiest thing to watch when there is nothing you can do to change that feeling." Omar remained quiet; he has never heard this side of the story. "Did you know that I told her to choose her family? I left," he said pointing at his chest, "Leaving her to marry Gavin. It shattered my heart into a million pieces to make that decision but I knew that I couldn't make her choose being with me over her family."

"And she came back to you. She chose you." He says surprised.

"She made the choice to leave on her own. She made the choice to walk away from the Bloodline on her own... Loving her has brought light back into my life. I was broken for a long time, but that's over now. Loving her has made me whole for the first time in my life. She couldn't marry Gavin. She would have been unhappy everyday of the rest of her life. She wouldn't be the light hearted, free for all Bells that we both know and love."

"I never..." he said, looking down at the floor. "I never gave her the chance. I always thought, I thought she was being selfish. I never looked at things from her point of view. I guess being a Kinsey there were things I was supposed to do and never thought twice about... She has always had a mind of her own... What is she going to do for money? I know my father cut her out of the will, removed her trust fund?"  

Justin shakes his head, "I understand that money is something that your family has resonated on for as long as the traditions have been around but a simple I love you means more than any amount of money." He says that and it sends butterflies through my stomach.

"Love doesn't pay the mortgage." Omar said attempting to make a point.

"Money means nothing at the end of the day. I have plenty of money, that isn't a worry of ours. I own my house in L.A., and the apartment in NYC, We will manage to live in those places for the rest of our lives." Justin said proudly. "Bells, is going to have an amazing career in the fashion world. I don't think you realize how talented she really is... she is going to be very successful and she is going to be happy. But happiness at the end of the day is all that really matters. Happiness trumps money."

"So this is a... permanent thing? You're not going to just walk away from her and break her heart right? She didn't give up everything for you to just walk away from her?"

"I love that woman. I'm not going anywhere." He says with a smile spread across his face, "I could give up everything, but have the love of that woman for the rest of my life and be perfectly content."

"She is still my little sister, remember that. You hurt her... I may have to make you disappear."

"You don't have to worry."

Omar stood there not knowing what to say. "I will talk to my mother and sister and see what I can do. I will be back." He shuffled back down the hallway to the room and disappeared into the room.

I walked around the corner and stood watching Justin's demeanor. He was out of his element. There was nothing he could do. I think if he could pull any strings he would, no matter what the cost was.

I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his stomach, placing my head on the back of his shoulder, breathing on his neck. "Thank you." I said quietly. He placed his hands on my arm sliding them behind his back gripping onto my wrists, squeezing them tighter. I felt the strain this was having on his body. His entire abdomen was tense and quivering against mine. He turns his body slowly until his face is flush with mine, taking his hands placing them over the curve of my chin. "I love you." He says just as the tears begin to flow freely down my face. His wipes the tears away with his thumps like a wiper blade. "I wish there was something I could do for you... something to take away this heartache."

His words broke my heart even more. I have the unconditional love of a man that I never thought I would have the privilege of feeling. Knowing that he was hurting because of my pain was horrendous. I had to get myself together, if for anything, for him.

I could hear the clicking of cameras going off in the distance, however I attempted to ignore them hoping that Justin wouldn't notice them. But he has heard them for so many years that he can almost tell you the model of the camera they were using. I could see his frustration starting to boil and he wanted to scream at them, but he didn't. There were times where they were annoying and pestering but sometimes there's a line that is crossed and right now, in this hospital, was crossing a line.

I watched at Justin climbed out of the chair and headed in their direction. I closed my eyes sending u p a quick though, hoping he wouldn't hurt one of them, then watched as the closer he got the more distant they became. They knew this was neither the time nor the place to be shoving a camera into someone's face. This was not something that should be capture on film and distributing it to the entire world for a news story. Shawn arrived shortly after and removed them from the floor.

Hours had past and we sat in the waiting room, waiting, hoping that they would change their minds. But nothing changed. Omar never came back out into the waiting area. I didn't know if I should leave or find a way to get back there. I couldn't make that decision, so I sat there with Justin next to me the entire time. No one had the audacity to let go of their Bloodline traditions. I watched as family members on both sides of the family go in and out of his room, each and everyone one of them walking past me and not even acknowledging my existence.

My phone had become glued to my hand, I thought that maybe just maybe Omar would call me and tell me it was ok to come back. When I felt it start to vibrate in my hand I got nervous. Maybe this was it. I looked down and see a new email appear in my inbox.

I received something today that I would like to discuss with you. Something isn't right.  Please contact my assistant as soon as possible. -Troy

Fuck. The last thing I needed to worry about was this.

I didn't have any idea what was going on. For all I knew he was going to pull the line from out under me. I didn't have time to think about what Troy needed, I look up from my phone and Omar standing in front of me. I standing quickly and approach him across the room.

He looked at me, "I'm sorry Arabella... I'm really sorry. I tried, I really tried..."

I reached out to him, taking his hand into mine. "I know you did. Maybe tomorrow they will give me a chance..." I trailed off.

"Arabella, he's gone." His eyes start to flutter with tears, he was speechless.

I felt the tremble in my arms and knees start to shake. I felt the world around me crumble. The words we had to each other flutter through my thoughts. "The last thing I spoke to my father was, ‘I'm dead to you, remember that.'"  I hit the floor sobbing, those are harsh words to be the last thing he will ever hear me say.

Huddled over crying into the floor, I felt Justin's arms wrap around me, picking me up to cradle in his arms. I never got to say goodbye. We never got to say amends. "I should have tried harder to make him understand. I should have tried to not be so stubborn. I should have made him see how much I needed to be me... I caused the stress on his life. I caused this to progress so fast. I am to blame."

I killed my father.