I lay awake looking out the window of our bedroom, watching the sun rise as I had done so many times before, but this time was different. I lay here in the arms of the most amazing man I will ever know, empty. Neither of us has slept well the last couple days. I knew that today was a day I would never forget. Today was going to be a day I could never get back and a day that I couldn't be a part of.

My words had bitterness in my mouth now. I shouldn't have said things to my father that I could never take back. His words will always remain a part of me. They'll always be a reminder of the part of my life that I always knew which I lost but his words will always remind me of the life I never knew I could have, that is reality now.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the funeral. It is your father?" He asks in my ear softly. "I can stay an extra day. I can cancel the interviews today and I can... I don't have to be in Detroit until tomorrow afternoon for sound check..."

"You are going to get on that plane today. I will be fine, plus it was made very aware to me that I was not to be at the services. I don't want to make a scene. I just want this to be over with." I swallowed the lump in my throat. I wanted this emptiness to go away. I wanted this feeling of guilt to leave the back of my throat.

"You have the right to say goodbye."

He pulled me in closer to him, now I was face to face with him. "I love you for trying- but this isn't going to change. I chose someone not from the Bloodline over them. They will never forget. I will grieve and deal with this death the best I can."

"I don't want to leave you like this..." He said trembling. "Come with me."

The hurt in his voice hurt. I put on my brave face, again. "I will be fine. I'm a big girl. I have work that needs to get done here." I was then reminded of the email I received from Troy. I had forgotten to call him. How responsible of me to forget that.

I reached over to the table and scrolled down to the email, highlighting the number to his office. I sat up on the bed and press send. Two rings later his perky assistant, Toni answered the phone.  "Good Morning Troy Carter's office."

"Hi, Toni this is Arabella Kinsey. I need to come in and see Troy is there any way that could happen today?"

"Yes. Troy said to clear his schedule for whatever time you could come in. I actually figured you would have come in a couple days ago..."

‘Yeah, a lot has happened in the last couple of days. What time is good today?"

"How does 2:00 sound?"

"2:00 is perfect." How ironic. "I will see you then."

I ran around the apartment getting things ready for him to leave. He was lost in his own thoughts the entire day. He was quiet and reserved, which is normal for him but I could see the worry in his eyes. I knew that he was worried about leaving me here alone. He didn't have much of a choice.

The moment came when he had to leave. He stood at the door in tears, second guessing his choices. I stood on my tippy toes, kissing his forehead. "Everything will be fine. Go, have a great show. I will see you soon."

"I love you. I love you with everything I have." He rested his forehead on mine. "I'm just a phone call away. No matter what time it is, no matter what you think I'm doing..."

I cut him off, pressing my finger over his soft lips. "-Justin, I love you is all I need to hear." He had a hold of my hand and wouldn't let go. I knew he was going to make himself late for his flight, then he would have to stay but I wasn't going to let him. I dropped my hand out of his, "You're going to miss your flight." I wrapped my hands around his back, planting my hands on his ass, pulling him closer to me, kissing his lips softly. "Your car is waiting... get you're behind moving." I smiled at him, squeezing his booty.

"You can't do something like that as I'm walking out the door... ugh. It makes me want to put you up on that counter and do very naughty things to you..." The smile that ran across his face was the Justin I needed.

"I have to make you come back to me. I have to leave you wanting something."

He stared at me, looking at me in a constant stare. He slowly rubbed the side of my face with his thumb as I the light in me shined through. "There's the smile I love to see on your face." He lowered his face and kissed my lips again before walking away from me. I watched as the door slowly closed behind him.

The moment I knew he was gone, I hit the floor. I was in a million pieces again. Being strong in front of him was exhausting. But I couldn't have him out on the road worrying about me. I had to suck up the pain for him. I had to get myself together...

Peeling myself off the floor, I manage to throw on a pair of jeans, a tank, and one of Justin's hats before heading out the front door. With everything that's happened, the panic of what happened with the line was out of my thoughts. I thought worst case scenario I would have to use that license that cost me nearly two hundred thousand dollars.

Note to self. Find that bill.

Troy's office was busy. Every phone was ringing, every person was running around. I wouldn't say this was the best time to deal with yet another problem, but maybe that was why I didn't run my own office.

"Arabella. It's great to see you again." Toni says as I walk in the office. "Troy is waiting for you, go on in."

"Thanks."

His office door never felt so heavy before. My potential future rested on what was behind that door. I turned the knob and opened the door.

"Arabella Kinsey, the amazing designer herself has just walked through the door of my office. I will have to call you back. But I am thinking we will have to take legal action as soon as possible. Get the paper work ready." He hung up the phone, stood up from behind his enormous mahogany desk to greet me. "How are you Arabella?"

"As well as can be expected... a little worried... stressed... I could go on and on."

"Is something else going on that I should be aware of?"

"Where to start?" I joked.

He shuffles around some papers on his desk, stacking them in a neat pile. "I should tell you, anything that has your name on it, from tabloids to actual articles usually crosses my desk. So I have seen a lot of what you have been going through. Obviously most of it ends up tabloids but you have to be going through a lot."

"Well considering..." I look over at the wall and saw the clock said, 2:09, "my father's funeral services started about nine minutes ago, it's just going to be another one of those days."

He looks up from the stack of paperwork on his desk. "Why are you here and not at your father's services?"

"I'm not allowed near the funeral. I don't even think I am supposed to think about being at the funeral."

"Arabella- we can do this some other time... this has to be..."

I interrupted him, "Its fine. I chose my life; I have to deal with the consequences. Now let's move on. What is going on that I'm not aware of?"

"Well... I received a package here at the office while I was in Paris. I get sent sketches, samples, ideas all the time so this isn't unusual but when I returned I finally opened it..." he picks up the box off the floor, placing it on the desk in front of us. "When I opened it, the first thing I saw was three sheets of cardstock paper with sketches on them. They were remarkable. My first instinct was I had to find out who sent this to me. I had to get them here to at least see if they had more talent than just three pair. I began to dig down in the box and there was a sample of each shoe. The quality of the design of the shoe and the design of the actual sample were completely different. It looked like two separate people had done this... So I examined them both and the more I looked at the sketches the more I thought I had seen this work done before..." He slides the sheets over to me.

Three sheets of paper I was very familiar with. Three sheets of paper I had searched high and low for. I gasp escaped my lungs. "These..."

"They are your work. The lines of the arches, the details, everything looked like your work. You have this impeccable talent that I haven't seen in a long time, I knew something was wrong."

"I lost these... or at least I thought I lost them." I realize at that moment what he said, "Someone made samples of these? Someone stole this design and actually made it into a shoe? Tried to get you to front the money for the line of these?"

"Yes. I already have my lawyer on the situation. You have a patent on this correct?"

A smile runs across my face. "Yes... actually Justin burned that into my brain when I first started sketching for this line. The patent was put on them before I lost them." I was glad at that moment that I listened to what he said. "What do we do now?"

"We wait on the lawyer to get this ready. Until then, unfortunately these three designs have to be put on hold. Even though they would probably be the stand outs of the entire line."

"Those were my favorite." Those were the ones I designed with the inspiration of Justin's music.

"Well we can get them ready with samples and get everything very hush hush on them. Then release them hopefully with the line. Who are you having work with you on the line?"

"I believe Jack and Holli were designated for me."

"Well take Jack. Holli is..." he trailed off. "She is going to be unavailable now."

I was confused, I didn't care too much for her but I figured if she was working for his company then she knew what she was doing. "What do you mean unavailable?"

"As soon as the papers are drawn up, she will no longer be working for the company."

My face dropped. I was stunned but then it hit me. "She took them while I was at the studio that day... I knew I had them that day, I knew I brought them with me... Oh my god... I can't believe she did this..."

"Well believe it. She is being let go from her position with the company this afternoon when the lawyer files the lawsuit. It will all happen very quickly. I should tell you, don't have any contact with her. Don't go into the design studio today. Avoid it at all cost."

I was furious. My hands began to tremble. Anger fills the void of emptiness. "So when she walks out on the streets of Manhattan it's perfectly fine for me to beat the hell out of her?"

He laughs, "No that may make things a little worse than they already are."

"Shit."

"I understand the frustration... she saw how talented you are and tried to take advantage. I'm glad they were sent to me. That was her second mistake."

"Well... this is the exact way this day should continue."

"I'm sorry for you loss. I'm sorry for whatever is going on... You have a good man by your side to help you through everything. Take advantage of having him there."

I felt the tears about to flow again, the lump has returned in the back of my throat. "He's not really there... I mean don't get me wrong, he is great guy and has been through everything with me. I love him so much but it's hard to wake up in the middle of the night and not have him there next to me or when I just want to break down and have his shoulder to cry on..."

"He is on the road right now?"

"Yes." I lowered my head. I dreaded the idea of that empty apartment, that empty bed...

"Let's get through the next couple days and we will see how things are going. Be prepared to be hounded once this lawsuit hits the scene. You have to know by now that your name is attached with Justin's and they are going to run with this faster than you want it to. You need to let Justin know what's going on as well." His phone buzzes, "Yes, Toni... that would be wonderful, bring it in." He looks up at me with a smirk on his face, "Since I gave you such horrible news, how about some good news?"

"Sure. I'm always ready for that!" I didn't have a clue what he was referring to but any good news was going to be great right now.

Toni opens the door and holds it for two men bringing in boxes and boxes, sitting them down on the floor. My face lit up when I say the name printed on the side of the brown boxes. In cursive handwriting, The Arabella Kinsey Collection, underneath the name it said "Bells". The emotions took over. I knew at that moment those were my shoes.

"Go ahead..." Troy said as I leaped out of my chair to tear into those boxes. The smell of leather fills the air. There they were. The very first ten pair of heels ever made with my name on them.

"Wow." is all I could manage at the moment. The lifelong dream, the clarity, and the joy that came in those boxes were comforting.

My hand glides over the top of the solid white box with a logo spurring across the top, in classic black lettering, highlighted with a hint of blue shadowing. That was my name on that box. Lifting the lid the inside was a bright blue, as was the dust bag, and the same color that settled on the sole of the heel. Each detail I spent years obsessing over was being held in my hands, as a finished product. Tears start to run down my face.

Troy takes one pair at a time out of the boxes, placing them on his desk. He looked at them; he got quiet, nodding his head as he looked at the detail. "They did a perfect job at recreating the creations you had."

"You approve?" I asked.

He chuckles, "They're incredible."

I felt relieved; I snapped a photo of them setting on the desk and sent it to Justin. I wish he was here to see these and to share this moment with me. "What do we do now?" I asked.

"We test them out... let's start now." He presses the intercom button. "Toni, bring in two females and a male from the office. We are testing something out."

Two minutes later there is four people staring at my shoes. Staring at me like I was on display. Three of the four women love them, the other questions the blue sole, and she asked "Why are they blue? Is there a meaning or purpose for it? Why is the collection Arabella Kinsey and the name of the line Bells?"

Troy looks at me to explain.

I looked at them anxiously awaiting my answer. "I wanted something to make the shoes a signature. So the blue soles will be something that will be on every single shoe I design. As for the name, Arabella Kinsey is obviously my name and Bells is what my boyfriend calls me. I saw this line as that part of who I was, which also ties in the blue soles. I call him Lake." I laughed; it's a strange conversation to have with people who don't know us. "So Lake, water...blue just brought the two together."

She nods her head. "I like them. I really like them. I like the detail that's put into every inch of the shoe. I also like the person touch, the personal meaning behind the line and color. Nicely done."

Troy looks over at Luke, the graphics designer who is going to be looking at them for the next several weeks, "What do you think Luke?"

"I think that my new wife would look amazing in each pair of them. They have a level of sexiness but also a level of sophistication."

Troy thanks them all and they leave the room, "The line will do fine... it will do better than that but I'm not getting too ahead of myself yet."

"Is there anything I need to do?" I asked, hoping he would have something to keep me busy for the next couple days.

"Sketch. Design more. Take that box with you, wear them, wear them every day. Every time one of those paps take your photo, they are promoting your collection. As the stock comes in we will make sure to get you a pair of each of them. I have to talk to PR but I believe we are pushing for a fall release."

"Fall, doesn't that line release like a month from now?"

"Yes." he said with the biggest grin on his face.

The nerves start to flutter back. This was really happening. This was happening with no one to share it with. It was just like my father to make such an amazing feeling and happiness dissipate at the thought of him. He would never get to see me actually succeed. He will never get to see what a life I could live without the Bloodline. He will never get to know how happy I really am with Justin.

Leaving Troy's office, I didn't want to be back in that apartment just yet, spending the nights alone having the time to think through my thoughts and dealing everything that has been thrown at me for the last couple weeks. I drove and drove until I found myself outside of my parent's house. The coldness that I always had when I would pull into that driveway was still there as I sat on the curb. I climbed out of the car, staring at what used to be. I was managing the emotions until I saw Gary step out of the gate and look at me. He had tears in his eyes and I hit overload. I ran up to him embracing his hug.

"I have missed you." He says squeezing me tight. "It's just not the same around here with you gone."

"I have missed you so much. I think about you every day." I said to him as I step back and look at him. "How are you doing?"

"That's a question I should be asking you. You look like you have been crying for days."

"That's because I have been crying for days... it seems like when it rains it pours."

"Is everything ok with you and Justin?"

"Yes. Justin is the best thing that could have every happened to me."

"So, you have no regrets?"

"No. I do wish I could have been with my family during this time for the support and to support everyone else but it doesn't change the fact that I'm happy with the choice I did make."

"I fought for you to be at the services today, I fought hard but I'm a nobody to this family and my voice doesn't matter."              

"That was my father..." my voice broke. "I deserved to at least say goodbye. I do understand the choice I made was against his wishes but...  the idea that a child cannot say goodbye to a parent is beyond crazy even for this family. Maybe if I would have been the poster child for them, things could have been different. Maybe even my father would be alive... "

"Don't you ever for a minute think this was your fault. They were the adults; they should have supported their child at the end of the day. I think you made the right choice. I think that you deserve happiness. Whatever that may be, if that's Justin, designing shoes, Gavin, or being a doctor. If you're happy, the right choice was made. Your father's death was inevitable. He knew it was coming, he chose to hide it from everyone."

My jaw dropped, "He knew he was sick? When did he find out?"

"He had known for quite some time. I only found out a couple weeks before the day you were supposed to get married. When I found out he swore me to secrecy that I wouldn't say anything. When he became too ill and fainted, I went to your mother. I couldn't believe that he had known for as long as he did and didn't say anything."

I couldn't believe what he was telling me. My father knew he was going to die and not only did he know he kept it from everyone for months. He was selfish and didn't care enough to let his wife and children know that his life was being cut short. I knew deep down that Gary wouldn't lie to me. I knew that my father was worse than I ever imagined.

"Arabella..." he continued, "the only thing he was worried about was you not marrying Gavin. He knew that you could never be able to love him. He didn't care. He had an arrangement with the Alexander family that was determined to make the Kinsey/Alexander families in control of that hospital. They had not a care in the world for any of the children that would be affected. Even on his death bed he was willing to do whatever he needed, even at the expense of his own daughter. I couldn't let you suffer the way the other children had. They had accepted their fate and were content with it. You were unhappy. That's why I always told you to do what you thought you should do, not what they thought. I wasn't going to let you walk down that isle. I was going to stop the wedding somehow. But when I realized that you were in love with Justin, I knew you would make the right choice."

"What if I would have..."

"I wouldn't have let you." He interrupted me, "I would have pulled something out of my ass and made you realize what you needed to see."

"Was this his master plan?" I questioned.

"This was an agreement for as long as I can remember. I remember the day you were born; they were there to give the approval... I watched first hand your father signing a prenuptial agreement that was ironclad and was going to prevent you from ever filing for divorce."

"WHAT? Can they do that?" I rub my hands over my face. I was disgusted and hurt in the same moment.

"They were going to try." He steps closer to me, "but it didn't happen. Life changed the way it should have. You're happy, in love and living your life."

"Thank you for everything Gary! I owe you my life."

"You owe me nothing. I loved you like the daughter I never had and always will."

I reached out and hugged him. He was more of a father to me than my blood father had ever been. It was in that very moment that I realized how much I knew, I had made the right choice.

"I'm going to go. I don't want to get you into a bad place and possibly lose your job. I will forever be grateful to you." I pointed my finger at him, "Always remember that."

I watch as he went back inside the property and I climbed in my car, trying hard to consume everything that was said to me. Everything that happened, everything that was supposed to be.

The ups and downs of this day have made me physically warn out and emotionally drained. I put the key in and turned the handle, the door glided open. I walked into the apartment, kicking off my shoes in the entry way, dropping the box of my collection on the floor. I could see shadow of a silhouette, about my height across the floor. I got really nervous after everything that was supposed to happen today, what if someone got in the apartment. My pulse starts to race; I turn to see he was standing at the window looking out at the view.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he turned towards me.