The room began to spin. I didn't know how to even begin to say this to him. How do you tell a guy that you have been attached to the hip of for the last couple days that you are engaged... or soon to be engaged? How do I explain to this wonderful man that I was a fraud? How do I hurt him like that? I needed to tell him before he found out.

His blackberry starts to ring. I snatch it out of his hands. Last thing I needed was him hearing this from someone other than me. "Please, we need to talk."

"What's wrong? You seem very worried?" He sits up, staring into my eyes as they begin to well up.

"I... I'm kinda engaged..."

The worry in his eyes have turned into an almost fury. "What do you mean kinda engaged?"

"I'm not technically engaged... yet" I said not wanting to even say the words.

He climbs out of bed quickly. He didn't even want to be near me anymore. "What do you mean technically? Do you not have the ring yet or do you choose to just not wear it? What's the deal Arabella? Where is this almost kinda fiancé of yours?" Him calling me by my first name stung like nothing I had felt before. Never before this moment has he called me Arabella. It hurt worse that the anything else he was saying to me.

I couldn't speak but I knew I had to. I had to explain myself a little bit. "My parents have arranged the marriage. It's not something I have a choice in the matter of."

"Last time I checked Arabella, this was 2011 and you have rights to choose who you marry. Don't give me that shit." He was furious, pulling up his jeans fastening the button, missing the clasp four times before getting it buttoned correctly. "I have been cheated on, more than my fair share and this is wrong. He deserves..."

"Justin." I said pulling him back close to me, wrapping my arms around him. "He doesn't deserve anyone. I don't want to marry Gavin. I don't want to get married at all. I want... I want the choice of whom I will marry but that is not how it works in my bloodline. You met my father, you saw how he is. Nothing will change that. I will be engaged in a couple weeks to a man that I cannot stand to be in the same room as. I will live the same life my mother has for fifty years."

He rips my arms away from him, "You have the right to choose. You have the option to say no."
"No I don't." I pleaded. "My father would never approve."

"You are not your father. You are an adult. You can choose what you want to do with the rest of your life."

"You don't get it. You don't understand how the Bloodline works."

"Maybe I don't.  But you are the only person that can change it. You're the only one that can put a stop to this madness..."  He picks up his wallet and phone, sliding them in his pockets. Slamming the hotel door behind him.

He was gone.

For the first time in my life, I felt the pain and the emptiness that I had never endured. I had been through one breakup my entire life and it was not nearly as much heartbreak as I am feeling right now. I had just met this man; I had spent a couple days with him. How could it hurt this much?

                I dialed his phone several times with no response. How was I ever going to explain myself to him? How was I ever going to explain all of this to my parents? I crawled into bed, curly up into fetal position. I never meant to hurt him. I never meant any of this.

I sit in the first class section of the plane surrounded by people I don't know yet I feel like they are all watching me. Like they are all aware of what I had done. I wanted to apologize I wanted to make amends I just didn't know how. I turn up my iPod, hoping to drawn out my thoughts. I hadn't loaded any of the music on here, but I was glad at this moment that my brother was tech savvy. Twenty minutes from now I will be in the air and I will be leaving him forever. Leaving a piece of my freedom behind.

I open my phone, attempting to send him a short message, anything to say I'm sorry. Just at that moment a song I have listened to a hundred times before comes on and says exactly what I need to say.

"Will you listen to my story? It will just be a minute... How can I explain...? Whatever happened here I never meant to hurt you... How can I cause you so much pain? When I say I'm sorry will you believe me? Can you forgive me?" I'm so sorry."

I slouch down in the chair, press send and brace myself for what I will endure when I step off this plane. I didn't wait for a response. I didn't need that. I needed him to be okay.

                Our driver was waiting at the gate for me. He was always someone that let me cry on his shoulders if I needed to. When I stepped off that plane it was no different. He saw the pain in my eyes and he embraced me the moment he saw me.  He never asked questions, he was there for the comfort I needed. He respected me as a human and not as Dr. Lamar Kinsey's, the arrogant asshole's daughter.

"I really messed up this time Gary."

He gripped me tighter. "Everything will work out Arabella. Everything will be fine."

                I wanted to believe that everything would be fine but it wasn't going to be. I had hurt the first person who I had met who didn't know who I was or what I was about to do with my life.

I see my solid black Louis Vuitton suitcase coming around the conveyer belt. "How livid are my parents?" I asked.

"Ohh well you know them. They are not happy at all." He says as he grabs my suitcase.

"I can get it Gary. It's on wheels."

"Arabella, you know if your parents found out I would be ripped a new one."

"I know. Sorry. It's just stupid that you have to carry my luggage."

                I climb in the front seat of the town car. I turn on my phone and see I have seventeen voicemails. Great. I thought. I hit send, hoping that are all from Justin. Saying he understood. My  father... my father...my mother...  my father... my mother.... my father... ugh they drives me crazy. Sixteen messages later one more inbox. Just as I was going to hit delete without even hearing it I hear dead silence. Then I heard "Bells." I knew it was him. I gasped as Gary looked at me worried.

"Bells, I don't understand why you just didn't tell me. I don't understand any of it. I know that whatever this was..." he paused and there was silence again. His tone changed this time, "It really hurt me that you didn't trust me enough to help you. You didn't believe in me enough to let me know what was really going on. I will call you. But... Bells you hurt me... I thought you were different ... take care of yourself..."

I walked into the front door of the house and walked straight up the stairs and closed my bedroom door behind me. Bracing myself up with my hands pressed against the door before I finally collapsed to the floor sobbing. How could I have let myself care for someone else? How could I have let myself have any kind of relief from reality? I knew how it would end. But now, now I had involved someone else into my mess. Someone else is dealing with pain from my actions.

Knock... Knock...

A knock on the door makes me realize I have to get myself together. I heard the door knob turn. I locked it, she wasn't getting in. "Arabella, honey, it's your mother. Let me in."

"Mom, I don't really want to talk to anyone right now. I have a ton to do."

"I need to talk to you now."

I flung open the door, almost smashing it into the wall. "What?" I snapped.

"Don't grace that tone with me young lady. We need to talk about the trouble you got into while you were in L.A."

"I didn't cause any trouble mother." I said rolling my eyes as I flip open my suitcase to start unpacking.

"Arabella, you were frolicking around Los Angeles with a boy who you seemed to be very interested in..."

"The boy your referring to... he was a man, and his name was Justin. But trust me you have nothing to worry about now with him."

"What do you mean, now?"She pops her hand on her hip, bobbing her head back and forth.

‘Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Arabella these stories all insinuated that you... you and him... you...had..."

"Had sex? Can you not even say the words? Seriously you need to get out in the real world sometime."
                Her face was shocked, "Arabella don't speak to me like that."

"Mother. You have nothing to worry about. Don't worry your precious marriage to the Alexander's will go on without a hitch." I forced out. "Even if it makes me unhappy for the rest of my life." I mumbled.

"Arabella, your father left something for you. He is working at the hospital today but wanted to make sure you got this soon as you got back in town."

A jewelry box? Only in this family would they think that buying someone something expensive would make up for whatever is wrong in their life. I laid it on the table and continued to unpack.

"Are you going to even open it?" she asked.

"Sure. Why not?" I snapped back at her. I walked back across the room and picked up the damn box. My throat began to close off and hives started to form over my entire body. My body started to tremble as the box fell to the floor.

The ring.

My proposal came in the form of a navy blue ring box with an emerald cut diamond ring resting in it.

I hated emerald cut diamonds.

I hated my father.

I hated my fiancé.

They were all fitting.

My mother is now sitting in my desk chair rattling off dates and places... "Your engagement party will be held at the country club two weeks from tomorrow... graduation is two weeks after that then the wedding will be one month from graduation. We will have dress samples sent over this weekend and a decision needs to be made before the weekend is up. Alterations needs time to adjust the dresses..."

She continues to rattle off useless information to me. The last thing in the world I want to talk about is a wedding... my wedding.

"Mother. Can we deal with this all later? If I don't get to studying there won't be a graduation or a wedding. I will be repeating a year of med school."

"You will do fine, you know you will. But need you to make sure you schedule is clear to deal with the dresses this week.  I can handle the rest."

Of course you can handle the rest of the details. You would want someone to have any kind of input on their own wedding. Even if it isn't a wedding I want to go through with.

I slam the ring box closed and put it on the dresser. I didn't want to see it.

"Dinner is at seven sharp. Be ready to go." She yells as she walks down the stairs.