"Pink and purple. We want girly colors." My mother is sitting in the living room with the wedding planner as I start having convulsions about an actual wedding taking place. If they were going to torture me with this goddamn wedding they could at least let us go to city hall and sign the papers and be done with it.

The thought of having to consummate a marriage with him makes me want to hurl. He will never be able to touch me the way Justin has. I thought to myself. Justin. A smile creeps up on my face.

"Arabella, I take it you like that idea. You are smiling." My mother was so naïve. I don't think she listens to a word I say.

The wedding planner takes steps towards the door and is trying to avoid this argument. "No, I was not smiling about that. Trust me. I wasn't. I don't care what the colors are."

"You could be a little more enthused about the ideas for your wedding." my mother added.

"This isn't my wedding."

"Arabella."

"Mother, don't." I interrupted her.  "Not tonight ok. I don't want to have this argument with you then have to sit at dinner pissed off for two solid hours. Just drop it."

I walked into that restaurant and saw him sitting at the table we were heading for. He stands to greet me.  Gavin. Makes. My. Skin. Crawl. He kisses the side of my face which causes my entire body to cringe. I walk to the other side of the room to take seat when my father says, "Arabella Kinsey, your seat is next to your finace." I turn my head slowly towards him giving him the look of death.

"This seat is fine."

"Arabella. Take your seat." He demands.

I walked over to the damn seat next to him plopping myself down into it, lifting my head as I wanted to scream at the God's.

He leans over and says, "You're a feisty one. I like that in a woman. Especially in bed."

"Not that you're ever going to find out." I smiles back at him.

"Once you're my wife, I will demand sex." He says as he chugs a Jack and coke down.

"Demanding will get you nowhere with me, you need to remember that." I said to him turning back to my salad the waitress just put down.

I listened to everyone at the table talk about so much useless drama that I almost feel asleep.

I check my phone several times hoping that Justin will call. He said time. I know it's only been a couple hours but I was ready to hear his voice again.

"You do realize that I will blow your mind away in bed right? We can test the waters before the wedding."

"Seriously? You need to realize that you make my skin crawl and the idea of sleeping with you makes me want to hurl. Plus you will never compare to people I have been with."

"Oh, are you referring to Justin Timberlake? That fool you met in L.A.?"

"That fool, is a better man than you ever will be. That man makes my body curl from pleasure."

"I think you need to realize that you are mine honey." He reaches under the table and puts his hand on my leg, pushing my dress up my thigh.

I slapped his hand off of my leg, "Don't touch me." I hissed.

I checked my phone again but still nothing.

"Babe, why are you not wearing my ring?" Gavin demanded.

Everyone turns to look at me at that moment. "Don't call me babe and the last time I checked when someone is given something it isn't the other person's anymore. Hints the reason they call it a gift."

"Arabella." My father said in his stern voice. "You are officially engaged now. You should have your ring on."

"May I be excused please? I suddenly feel like I am going to hurl" I slide my chair out and stand up.

"Arabella, sit." My father demanded. "We are about to eat dinner."

I ignored him and walked away from the table. I needed fresh air. I needed to get the hell out of here. I walked quickly out into the night air of New York City. I can do this... I can do this. How difficult can it be to be unhappy everyday for the rest of my life?  I threw my head back trying to take in the fresh air. Within moments of being on the sidewalk I am surrounded by photographers screaming my name.

"Arabella...Arabella.... Where is Justin? Are you spending quality time with your fiancé? Did Justin know you had a fiancé?"

I lowered my head and walked back into the restaurant. Tears flowing down my face. I opened my phone and sent a message to Gary. He was there within fifteen minutes to pick me up. I left without even acknowledging anyone that I was leaving.

I didn't want to do this tonight. I didn't want to spend time with anyone. I wanted to be back in his arms. I wanted to be his fiancé. I didn't want to be here with these people in this restaurant.

The next two weeks leading up to finals were no better. Sad and chaotic. I kept myself super busy so I wouldn't think about him but that didn't work. I couldn't for a moment not think of him. Finals were something that I had to get done. I had to bring myself together enough to finish those. I had spent two solid weeks hoarded up in my bedroom preparing for one the biggest tests of my medical career. I had to finish this test at the top of my class.

I walked out of the door of my last final exam with a sense of accomplishment. I was going to celebrate. I was going to take one moment and celebrate. In the four years I spent in med school I never went out to a bar with anyone. Tonight, tonight was going to be different. There was thirty of us ready to drink.

I left the campus and headed directly for Sak's Fifth Ave. I had to find the perfect dress. I had never stepped out into public is something that made a statement. My mother would have a heart attack and my father well I could care less what he thought. Twenty dresses later I found the perfect one. Short, very short for me, one shouldered, pink Herve Leger dress, which meant that it fit like a glove. It latched on to every curve of my body. I opted for a pair of nude color Christian Louboutin heels.  I looked at myself in the mirror and I have to say, I looked good.

I wasn't looking for attention tonight. I wanted to look good for me. The one person I would want attention from I can't have. Not to mention he is almost four thousand miles away. I haven't heard from him. Not even a single text message asking how I was. I needed to face reality. He had moved on and forgotten all about me.

I rushed out the front door and into the car before anyone in the house could see me. I arrived at the club late. I felt great about it. I didn't want to be on time. It would make me just like my family. I didn't want to be anything like them.

The club was VIP only. The only way you get in is if it's a slow night and the VIP's don't show up. The bouncer at the door looked angry without even looking at me. "Name please." He barked.

I turned to see the lines along the building. Everyone dressed to the nines. Waiting, hoping they will be allowed through the front door, photographers hoping to get photos of celebrities coming into the club. The flashes start going off before I saw my name, "Arabella Kinsey."

"Ms. Kinsey you can go in." He says.

 I hear the people in the line asking, "Who is she?" then I heard someone else chime in with, "That's Timberlake's new girl."

I held head as high as I could, even though I wanted to run and cry. I walked straight into the bar and ordered a whiskey sour. That very spot was where I stood for two hour taking shot after shot. Drink after drink.

"Drinking the hard stuff again are we? Rough day?"

I must have had too much to drink because I could have sworn I just hear his voice behind me. The bartender steps up in front of me.

"Could I get another round of shots and drink for the two of us please." I closed my eyes. I must be trying to drive myself crazy.

I felt a hand run across my hip and latching around my waist, "Bells?"

 I turned quickly and there he was. Standing right behind me. I didn't know what to do. He was here. My eyes begin to well up with tears. He takes my hand and whispers in my ear. "You look absolutely gorgeous... Don't cry."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt y-"

He cut me off, putting his hand over my mouth. "This is not the place or the time for that."

I wanted to feel him again. I wanted to feel him against me. I took a chance and leaned in to hug him. He was awkward at first. He didn't know if he should touch me, knowing what it could lead to. His arms slowly become a tighter grip around my body. The tears that we just water are now streaming down my face. I took in his scent and held on as long as I could.

"Let's go up to that area" he pointed up to the top level. "I think we need to have a conversation."

He had a grip on my hand as he led me through the crowds and up to a section that was closed off. It was somewhere we could be alone and talk. I sat down across from him as he sat on the comfy leather couch. I sat on the ottoman, crossing on right leg over my left, grazing his leg in the process. He held onto my hand, gliding his thumbs over the curve of my palm. Surrounded by no one in the room.

"I've missed you." He says. "I know it's not my place to miss you, but I have."

"I've missed you every moment since I have been away from you." I say as he wipes away the tears streaming down my face.

"How have you been?" he asks.

"Busy. I graduate next week." I say feeling slightly accomplished.

"Congratulations." He offered.

"Thanks. All the hard work is about to pay off." I uncross my legs and lean in towards him, closing in on his face. I slowly place my lips onto his. He was resistant at first. Resting his forehead on mine but quickly his hands came up around my face, cupping my chin into his hands pulling my face back to look into my eyes. "There's just something about you Bells. I can't help myself."

"Then don't." I pleaded.

He took that as an invitation because his hands were all over my body. He was damn near ripping the dress off of my body. "Do you want to get out of here?"