Something we both couldn't deny was the sexual chemistry that was apparent the moment we are put in the same room together. I didn't know at the time when I first saw him face standing behind me that I would end up here, in his apartment in New York City, in his bed, naked with his arms tightly wrapped around my body. I knew that this was wrong. I knew that I was engaged but I needed his affection. I needed him.

I manage to loosen his grip and rotate my body. I lay awake watching in his every move, his scent, the way he sleeps, his facial expressions when he sleeps, and the way he looks at me as he opens his beautiful blue eyes. He leans up and kisses me on my nose. "Good morning."

"Great Morning." I corrected him. I continued to stare at him. I couldn't stop.

"What are you looking at? Do I have a nice big zit on my face and you're just enjoying the hilariousness of it?"

I smiled, "No... I'm just studying your face." I run my fingers over every curve and crevice of his face, "I want to remember every detail for the rest of my life."

He exhales deeply, "What are we doing Bells? We know this can never work. We can't keep doing this."

The smile that was radiating on my face has turned into a depression. "I know." I sit up on the bed swinging my feet of the side of the bed. Lowering my head to the floor, I close my eyes wanting my real life to be the dream and I'm waking up from it. He takes his hand, rubbing up my back, latching his arm around my stomach before pulling me in close to him.

"I'm sorry I should have said anything."

"No it's fine, reality sucks."

He starts laughing at himself, "If my PR Agent knew I was here right now with you and that I left with you last night... oh man am I in trouble. I guess I better prepare myself because I know a dozen of those photographers got pictures of us leaving together."

"Have I caused a nightmare for your career?"

"No, my PR Agent knows how to make a great story up. She spins things sometimes to keep people from thinking I'm a complete ass. She knows what she is doing."

"So you really are an ass?" I asked.

"Yes, yes I am." He nodded his head.

"Point noted for future reference..." I paused knowing what I had to ask, "So... what are we going to do now?"

"I don't have a clue." He says confused.

I pull his face closer to mine. "I want to run away with you."

"You can't do that to your family. That's not who you are."

"I know. But I want to." I guess he maybe thought I wasn't serious. I was.

"Let's just take a step back... let's look at things."

"A step back? What kind of steps are we talking? Because I'm a bit selfish and I want to keep the step we did last night, a couple times."

He chuckles at me, "I bet you do. I can't help that I'm a genius."

I climbed on top of him, looking deep into his eyes. "I don't think it's you, I think it's us."

"I have to say, I agree. I think we work well together." He pulled my face down onto his.

The words us and we were something that shouldn't be used with us right now.              Having someone genuinely care for you and want to spend time with you is an amazing feeling.

Slowly but surely we rise out of bed. I knew that I had to walk out of this apartment and try not to look back. I needed to let him go. He deserved to find someone to be happy with and that person wasn't going to be me.

I pick up the shirt he was wearing last night and slip it on. It was better than nothing. All I had here was the dress that I wore to the bar last night. The door to the bathroom opens as the steam rolls out of the door. A towel tied loosely around his waist. I wanted to badly swipe the towel and take advantage of him. But I had to be strong. I had to do this. I had to let him be.

He turns to look at me, "My shirt looks good on you..."

"I know right... much better on me."

"Would you be interested in doing some shopping with me today? I have some errands to do along with it but I would like to spend some time with you today."

"I'm sorry what?" I snapped my head his way.

"I know that I can't have you but that doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you. You're an amazing person Bells."

I nod my head not saying anything.

"That's not so convincing. I would have though you would have been excited somewhat to spend some time with me."

"I'm excited! Just one problem."

"What's that?" he asked

"I think your PR person would have a hell day if I walked out of this apartment with you in the very same dress I wore in last night..."

"I could care less what she thinks right now. I'm sure there are emails and phone calls from her on my phone that I'm not even going to read today. I will deal with her later."

"I'm sorry. I have made a mess out of things."

"Bells, I pay her to do her job... so I might as well give her something to do! Anyways I have boxes of William Rast stuff over there that needs to go to the warehouse. Take what you want out to wear. If they are going to take our pictures and print it at least the fashion line will get promotion from it. That will make her happy."

Maybe this was the wrong choice to make. Maybe I should have just said I should go home but I couldn't. I was stubborn and selfish. I wanted to spend the day with him. I showered and put on those William Rast jeans with an oversized tank, placing my black blazer over to keep my arms from the spring chill that was still in the NYC air.

We stepped out of his apartment and into a nightmare. The same people that followed Justin and I from the bar to his apartment were still out there, waiting to get the pictures they wanted, indeed they got them as we walk out of the apartment, Justin grips my hand and leads me through the crowd taking photos and screaming questions at us. He hails a cab and we finally get a moment to breathe. He apologized profusely, as if this was his fault. He couldn't control what they end up doing.

His phone rang nearly twenty times and he hasn't answered a single phone call. He said today was about us spending time together... getting to know who we really were.

When my stomach began to rumble I knew it was time to sit and eat something. Not to mention the beautiful nude colored heels I was wearing last night were killing my feet. I needed to buy a pair of flats the next store we go in, I thought to myself.

The waitress has taken our orders, and made goo-goo eyes with Justin for twenty minutes but finally our food was being served to us. "So, Lake... you took a day off for me... I think I owe you big time now. Like a hundred thousand dollars big time."

He smiles reaching for my hand across the table, "Try two hundred and fifty thousand today but I wanted to. I needed to spend today with you."

The way he said that made me think that this was going to be the last day I saw him. Maybe he was going to break the ties and walk away from this. If he doesn't, I don't think I ever will.

"Wow, I have a lot to make up for." I winked at him. "Maybe this afternoon or this evening I can make it up to you."

"I want that... that's for sure but the pleasure is all mine. I don't care about the money."

"Whatever you say Lake. Let's get your timber moving." I smack his ass trying to get him to move.

"This Lake is going to shake your bells!"

I started to laugh hysterically, taking his hand into mine. "Leave the jokes for the professional Lake."

He steps back, dropping my hand. "Fine whatever make fun, it's all good."

I pull him back against me, "I'm not after your jokes."

"What are you after Bells?" he says with a smirk on his face.

I lift onto my tippy toes and whisper in his ear, "Your timber!" He tightens the grip around my waist pulling my face into his. Kissing me like it was the first time all over again. I lift back up to his ear,  and whisper "I need to buy some shoes."

His face drops, "Talk about lowering the timber."

"See now that was funny!"

                "So it's only funny when referred to my penis."

                "Yes." I said proudly.

Shoes. Shoes are my heaven. The Yves Saint Laurent store in Manhattan was heaven. I stood for twenty minutes staring at the shoe. Looking at every detail over the arch, the peep toe, the platform, the stitching on the details... I couldn't help myself. I had a thing for shoes. I run my finger on the outside of the arch. It was perfect.

"Are you going to buy them?" Justin asks.

"I'm just admiring them."

"Buy them."

"Oh I'm going to."

We returned to his apartment, tired from the day's adventures. My phone has so many messages from my parents. They were going to kill me if I was lucky when I did come home. I send a quick text to my mother to call off the search dogs, I was fine and I would be home in the morning. I had no clue if I was going to spend the night with him again, but it gave me the time if I needed it.

"Have you put any more thought into what we talked about?"

"What would that be?"

"Turning your sketches into reality."

"I'm going to be a doctor next week. Trying to be a shoe designer is kind of irresponsible."

"Maybe, but passion can out way responsible sometimes. I talked to someone... I showed them one of your stenches and explained to them how I thought you had the talent to rival the best in the business and they agreed to meet with you and maybe even fund the production of your first line..."

I was stunned. "How did you get one of my sketches?"

"I came back to that hotel room in L.A. I paid the bell boy a thousand bucks for your key... I was hoping I could get past any of the thoughts I was having about everything that happened and just believe in you but you were gone. You had taken everything and left. But there was one sketch that you forgot. It was lying on the side table where I had left it. I took it... but before you get mad I needed to show you how talented you really are."

"Justin... I ... I'm a Kinsey... Kinsey's are doctors. My family would never approve of this."

"Bells. I know that you have a strong bloodline that I don't understand sometimes but I'm sure you family would eventually come around. If they saw what I get to see in your eyes, they would be happy for you."

"No, they really wouldn't..."

"Well the offer is still out there. He wants to meet with you soon so if there is any interest let me know... I will make sure the meeting happens."

I have been sketching shoes for longer than I can remember. I never really perused even the idea of being a shoe designer. It wasn't what a Kinsey did with their life. I always found it odd that no one else had any other interests. No one ever expressed what they wanted to do with their lives. It was never an option. Every generation just accepted their fate.

"Bells, I'm going to call for dinner, what do you want?" Justin asked interrupting my thoughts.

"Does pizza sound good?"

"Yes! I haven't had pizza in years."
"WHAT?"

"In my house everyone eats at a sit down dinner and pizza is never a choice."

"You live a deprived life."

Cringe. "Yes. I know."

The television was on in the background as we ate dinner. I look up at the screen to see my picture again on the television. "Fuck" I said running to turn the TV up. Fumbling with the remote turning the channel twice before I found the volume and finally hearing what they had to say.

"...Rockin' what looks like William Rast's summer line of jeans, with the oversized logo tank, Arabella Kinsey steps out of Mr. Sexyback's Tribeca apartment with Justin hand and hand. Spending the entire day wondering on the streets of NYC, shopping, eating lunch, and having a romantic afternoon before they were seen returning to his apartment where they reportedly spent the rest of the night..."

Shit. So much for getting away with anything.