"I wanna rematch, Timberlake!" Ryan yelled.

"Next time I'm in town, scrub!"  Justin yelled back.

"That could be twenty years from now!" Ryan joked, making the other guys laugh.

"Funny! Hit me up tomorrow! Maybe we can get a quick game in before I head to my mom's!"

Justin tugged at his wife beater which clung to his sweaty chest, trying to cool himself off. He made his way down the driveway noticing a handful of women he'd grown up with sitting in the back of his truck laughing amongst themselves. He threw his shirts over his shoulder and walked to the back of the truck. "Good evening ladies. How ya'll doin?"

"We can't believe you still have your old truck, Justin!  Remember back in the day when there'd be like twenty of us squeezed back here and we'd drive out behind Tommy's daddy's land and watch the guys go muddin' and then party in his dilapidated old barn all night?"

Justin stood around talking and reminiscing with them for awhile before deciding to call it a night. "Well, ladies...As much as I love seeing intoxicated and vulnerable woman in my truck, I'mma have to ask y'all to get out, so I can bounce." He pulled down the tailgate and put his hand out to help them down.

"Alright. Hold your horses!" one of them drunkenly laughed as she tried to crawl her way out of the truck.

"Damn, JT...I remember a time when you'd welcome drunk and vulnerable women in your truck..Right, C?" the blonde slurred, bumping her fist lightly over her head against the back window of the truck.

"Yep," a voice called out from inside.

Justin walked up to the front passenger side of his truck and looked in and saw Cherish lying across the seat with her bare feet dangling out the driver side window.  He hadn't seen her when he walked up.  "I thought you left?" he remarked, trying not to sound too exited to discover that she stayed.

"I was," she said, leaning her head back to look up at him. "Until I backed out and saw Tina and the girls in your truck begging me to finish off this blunt with them."

"You drink Tequila...smoke weed?" he shook his head as he watched her take one last pull of a joint and toss the butt out the window. "And in my truck no less."

"I'm still a fun chick from time to time!" Cherish craned her neck back trying to focus her blurred vision on him, pointing haphazardly in his general direction. "You've turned into the fun sucker...kicking everyone to the curb while we were taking a trip down memory lane."

Looking at him upside down was making Cherish dizzy. She closed her eyes trying her best to stop the world around her from spinning. 

"Ahhh I see…" Justin took the opportunity to let his eyes roam across her body to her shorts, which were slowly sliding up her thigh showing off more of her skin. "Can I come with?"

"It's you're truck." she shrugged.

Cherish sat up and shifted in the seat of car allowing Justin room to get in. She took a large sip of water from the bottle in her hand, trying her best to regain some sense of sober.  They sat there quietly for a moment until she reached in front of him to open the glove compartment. She grabbed a cassette tape and handed it to him asking, "What the hell is "TBCM?"

Justin laughed to himself as he remembered, "Trace's Booty Call Mix…"

Cherish joined in with a light chuckle as Justin fished the key from his pocket. He slid it into the ignition, turning it slightly before pushing the tape into the tape deck.  The bridge of  H'Town's "Knockin Da Boots" began to play through the speakers of the car, making them both laugh even harder.

It grew silent again as they continued listening to the music, both trying to figure out what to say next.  Justin finally turned his head to her and said, "We've had a lot of memories in here."

Cherish nodded in agreement, her eyes glancing around the car as memories replayed in her head. "Considering how much you've changed, I'm surprised you still even have this old thing."

He ignored her comment about how much he'd changed and instead, gazed at her longingly, "There are still some things that have never changed." he said softly.

She continued to stare straight ahead at the radio console. "Like what?"

"Like the fact that my heart still races just being next to you."

A little part of the wall she’d erected around her heart crumbled at his admission.  His eyes were trained on her face, searching for some type of acknowledgment that she felt the same way, but she merely sighed. If she’d been thinking straight, she would've never stayed at the party as long as did, drank and smoked as much as she did, or made a complete fool out of herself by flirting with him the way she had. And now she was alone with him in the most dangerous place of all--his truck--thinking about all the adventures they'd taken, all the make-out sessions and all the-...

"Hey..." he started, pulling Cherish from her thoughts. "You remember when-" Justin stopped himself, never finishing his sentence.

"Remember when what?" she asked, finally meeting his eyes.

"Never mind...it was so long ago." He looked down, shaking his head.

"Refresh my memory then."

Justin saw another opening and took it. "The time we spent the night under the stars."

A smile formed across her lips as she remembered. "Yeah. The night after prom. We woke up the next morning with a million mosquito bites." she laughed. "Even still...It was one of the most-"

"Yo, Cherish!" Jimmy yelled as he approached the truck.

Justin was beginning to recollect why he hated living in a town where everyone knew each other. People were constantly wanting to chat and there was no such thing as privacy. He looked down, shaking his head at the fact that their trip down memory lane was probably over. 

"Ryan said he'll bring you the money for the keg tomorrow." Jimmy opened the door and made Justin and Cherish move over so he could get in and be nosey. "What ya'll in here doin?"

"Just talkin, Jimmy." Justin answered, giving him a look.

"Mmmhmm." he raised his eyebrow smiling. "Having a little reunion of your own I see."

Cherish leaned across both men's laps, giving Justin a clear view of her ass as she pulled the door handled to open the passenger door. "Yes, James. And three's a crowd. So git!" she motioned.

"Okay! Okay! I can see when I'm not wanted." Jimmy laughed as he turned to get out. 

Justin was surprised by her bold move to get rid of Jimmy and wondered if they were finally going to be able to talk about what happened ten years ago when he left Boone. Cherish crawled over Justin's lap, playfully pushing Jimmy out of the car and closing the door, leaning the top part of her frame out the window.  

"Here. Take this off my hands." Jimmy said, handing her the freshly rolled joint from his shirt pocket. "I'm about to go see my girl. I don't wanna get pulled over with it."

Cherish took the joint out of his hand and tucked it behind her ear.  Justin sat there frozen, watching her ass  sway back and forth as she continued to talk to Jimmy about something he couldn't really hear or care to hear as his mind raced with thoughts of how great her ass looked.

 Jimmy nodded towards Justin and gave Cherish the same look Justin gave him a minute before and whispered, "You want me to stop by and tell Anne Marie to close up without you?"

"No." she poked him in his chest. "I'm about to go over there now."

"Mmmhmm…" he nodded.

"Don't!"

"Don't what!?" he asked innocently as he turned around and made his way over to his car.

"You know what!" she yelled to him, slightly nervous that Jimmy might start a rumor that would quickly get back to Bobby .

"I'd never!" he laughed waving to her. "Night ya'll!"

Cherish moved her leg back over Justin's lap to sit back in her seat and accidentally bumped his bad knee, causing him to grab a hold of her by her waist, wincing and cursing in pain.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"  Cherish covered her mouth in fear, frightened that she may have caused more damage to his injury.

She carefully moved her leg and placed it on the other side of him, straddling his thighs. Justin continued to grip her waist tightly, taking deep breaths. His hold was so strong Cherish didn't think she could move even if she tried. His head was buried in her chest and she could feel his breath hot against the lower part of her clavicle.

"Let me get you some ice for it." she said, gently touching his shoulders.

With his head still buried in her chest, Justin shook his head and said he'd be fine. Cherish reached back attempting to touch his knee.

"No no no…don't touch it!" he begged. 

He lifted his head and let it fall back against the seat, looking up at the ceiling of the car.  "Just gimme a minute."

He loosened his grip on her waist and spread his arm out across the back of the seat.

Cherish could see a tear running down his cheek. "Awwww, you poor baby." she sympathized, bringing her hand up to his cheek and wiping the tear away with her thumb.

Justin leaned his face into her palm, lingering in her touch.  She sat there watching him, remember how tender he used to be with her when they were younger. As he continued to breath through the pain, she said, "I've got something  that will make you feel better."

Justin looked down at their closeness and smirked.

"No," she chided. The two of them jokingly squared off, staring at one another till Cherish couldn't hold her smile in any longer. She let her forehead fall into his shoulder and chuckled. "I see some things never change."

When she lifted her head up, she spotted his necklace and gasped, recognizing the gift that she'd given him twelve years.  Her fingers trembled as she reached out and touched the chain resting against his shirt. "You still have this?"

"Of course I do." he replied matter-of-factly as if to imply that she should've known he'd never get rid of it.

She gently lifted it off his chest, running her thumb across the silver number 23 charm, his team number from high school. Cherish placed the necklace back down against his chest, running her fingers down the front of his shirt, touching his pecks. "Stop messin' with my chesticles, girl. You know my nipples are sensitive." he joked.

Cherish nervously chuckled, not realizing that she'd allowed the fantasy she was having of touching him become a reality. She quickly moved her hands back down, resting them against her thighs.  “Put your damn shirt back on and cover those things,” she commanded, pointing in the general direction of his biceps.

“My biceps?” he asked slowly, as if realizing it meant she’d noticed them.  Awareness flashed in his eyes.

“Yes."

Justin arched an eyebrow, the trace of a smile lurking on his lips as he grabbed his gray shirt from over shoulder and put it back on, tossing his plaid shirt down onto the seat.  Her brain was telling her to get off his lap, but her body wouldn't let her budge.  They gazed at each other for a moment until Cherish finally sat up on her knees and began to dig into her back pocket. Justin enjoyed the closeness of the moment and tried to steal another peek down her shirt.  She slinked her arms out of her jacket and tossed it onto the seat before reaching behind Justin's head to slide open the back window. She rested her butt back down against his thighs, making sure not to bump his knee again. She pulled the joint from behind her ear and lit it with the red lighter she'd fished out of her pocket.

Cherish wrapped her lips around the end and sucked the smoke into her lungs. She took her free hand and placed it around his mouth, forming his lips into a circle. She then leaned her face in closer to his  and slowly blew the smoke out towards his mouth. He instinctively sucked in the air, shotgunning  the rest of the joint with her, remembering the last time they had done it ages ago. Back then, they'd share a kiss afterwards, but he knew it would be presumptuous of him to think that was going to happen tonight.

His mind began to feel hazy again, and the pain in his knee slowly dissipated with each pull.  The more they smoked, the more they both relaxed again. He could feel Cherish moving her hips to the beat of Usher's "Nice & Slow" and it was driving him crazy.

Justin gripped the back of the seat, trying to control his urges. "Why don't you sit back over there, cause this right here," he pointed out their closeness, "Isn't helping at all."

"And if I don't?" she whispered, moving her hips again and snapping her fingers to the beat as she bit her bottom lip seductively.

He swallowed hard, then swallowed again. "I can't be held responsible…He has a mind of his own when it comes to you." He looked down towards his growing erection, causing her to lose her breath.

"No but seriously, Cherish. While I still have you here. Before anyone else interrupts us for the hundredth fuckin time since I got into town..."  Justin ran his hand threw his hair and rubbed the back of his neck trying to broach the difficult subject once more.  "Ever since I came to town I feel like you've been running away from me…I love that we can still be playful like this with one another, but can we please go somewhere and really talk, Baby?"

Baby? Since when did she give him the right to call her "Baby" again? It paled in comparison to the dirty things they'd been saying to each other earlier, but she still felt a strong pang in her chest when she heard him call her "Baby"  again after all this time. 

Cherish knew that having a serious discussion with Justin would burst open the dam of emotions that she had worked so hard to hold back over the years. She didn't want to talk. She wasn't ready and the only thing she could think to do now was distract him as well as herself. She slid her fingers in his hair at the back of his neck and began to rock slowly against him.  "I don't wanna talk tonight."

His eyes fluttered shut and for a second there, he lost all train of thought. "Well I do." he stated firmly, trying to regain control.

"What do you wanna talk about?" she whispered in his ear as she kept rocking her hips back and forth against him.

His willpower was slowly fading with each hip rotation she made against his crotch. "I don't know…Stuff!" He could feel her moist breath against his neck and tried his best again not to lose focus. "Like what've you been up to for the past ten years?"

"Same shit, different day." she breathed softly into his other ear.

"I'm serious." Justin swallowed, gently patting the tops of her thighs, trying not to fulfill his urge to grip them and pull her closer to him.  He moved his hands away and rested them down against the seat.

"Cherish, I want you…In the worse way, but shouldn't we talk first? Catch up?"

"Don't ruin this, JT." she whispered in his ear, tugging it gently between her teeth. "Let's just enjoy this…"

"I just…fuck…" he said quietly, his head hanging back in pleasure.

Being in that truck alone with him made Cherish feel like she was seventeen again.  It all started out as a distraction tactic, but now she didn't know why she couldn’t stop. Her brain was screaming at her 'don't go any further,' but her body would hear none of it.   Why was it only him who could inspire this level of want and need within her? 

Justin's eyes trailed up her chest to her face.  She placed her hands on the roof of the truck, using it as leverage to ground herself harder against him.

"Now why are you playing with me, baby?"

"What do you mean?" she gave him another coy smile.

"You used to do that  move all the time…mind you we had on less clothing, but….shit. Come on I'm serious. Please" he begged.

"Please what?" 

Justin was tired of playing her game. He grabbed her arms off the roof and held them both tightly in his large hand. Cherish was taken off guard by his strength and froze. He lifted his other hand and stopped himself just short of touching her face. He looked down at her mouth and pleaded with her,  "It's taking everything in me to keep my hands to myself.  Please stop torturing me like this, Cherish."

She stared into his eyes--eyes that were pleading with her. "Touch me," she whispered.

Justin slowly and gently ran his hand down the length of her arm and around her back. He gingerly pulled out her clip and watched her hair fall down past her shoulders. He took a handful of her hair and tugged it gently forcing her head back as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against the skin her neck, making her nipples harden. She arched her back more and all he wanted to do is put his mouth all over her exposed flesh.

He knew Cherish had been trying to sidetrack him any way she could to avoid a serious conversation or confrontation with him. He knew, but at the moment he didn't care. He was happy for the chance to touch her and she not flinch--welcoming his embrace. He ran his free hand up her thigh and wrapped it tightly around the back of her waist, pulling her body in closer to his own.  “Ride me,” he commanded.

A wave of heat spread through her body at the gruffness in his voice.  Justin grabbed her hips and pulled her down harder onto him. He bit his lip as her lap pushed into his crotch, his cock fully hard.  They both moaned at the friction. Cherish fell forward against his chest, gasping as she felt him rock hard and straining against the fabric of his jeans. She pressed her hands against the back wall of the truck, planting them on both sides of his head, wanting so badly to wrap them around his frame but was too afraid.

Justin looked down watching her hips rock back and forth. He ran both his hands up her bare skin, his thumbs skimming her inner thighs.  His hands went around cupping her ass and bringing her hips down while he ground his crotch up against her.  Cherish's head fell back luxuriating in his touch and allowing him to brush his lips across her collarbone.  The tip of his nose slid slowly up her neck and brushed the side of her cheek as he whispered in her ear, "I've missed you."

He could feel her body decompress into his as she let out a long sigh, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He continued to press hot, velvet kisses down her throat. She moaned, whispering yes softly in his ear as he laid more kisses down her neck to the edge of her collarbone.  He bit down gently and she moaned again, rocking harder against him. She'd missed this.

Needing to feel the heat of his skin, she fumbled for the hem of his T-shirt and pushed it up. When her hands made contact, she squeezed her eyes shut to savor the feeling. Her fingertips chased over the planes of his chest, greedy to make up for every moment she’d existed without his skin touching hers. It’d been too long. Unbearably long.

With his hand still tight around her waist and his other hand up her back, he pressed on her neck pushing her forward so that their foreheads were touching. Both breathing hard, panting.  He stared down at her lips. He tilted his head slightly to the left and then to the right, wanting so badly to kiss her but terrified that she wouldn't reciprocate.  "How do you really feel about me being back?" he asked, trying to catch his breath.

Was her seriously asking her what she was feeling? Had their roles reversed over the years? When had he become the type to want to stop fooling around to discuss emotions? He was beginning to kill her buzz as well as her mood and Cherish wasn't having any of that. She was determined to get this train back on track. With her hands still bound underneath his shirt, she snaked her fingernails across his skin and seductively said,  "I have a lot of different emotion when it comes to you, but right now one in particular is trumping the rest."

"Which emotion might that be?"

"You already know."

"Well tell me anyway," he asked pushing her shirt aside so he could kiss her shoulder.

"How bout I just show you." she devilishly grinned as she unbuttoned the top three buttons of her shirt revealing her bra.

Justin froze as he gazed down at the black intricate demi cup  bra which had a mix of sexy sheer mesh with pretty lace and bows.  The straps came up around her bust and had a soft bondage feel, while the open top cups were decorated with a whisper of scalloped French lace  that beautifully framed her cleavage. "Who'd you say you had dinner with again?"

"Why?" she giggled.

"You've got on Agent Provocateur...I know my undies. This shit's expensive."

"Indeed. You can’t just rip this off, you've gotta-"

"Unwrap it like a gift." he finished her sentence. He thumbed the material and her eyes fluttered shut. "I'm just curious to know who you got all dressed up for. Who's your sugar daddy?"

Cherish had bought the underwear during one of her trips out of town, but she never had a chance to wear it. Bobby would've gotten frustrated by the complexity of the panties alone and would've probably ripped them off her. Running the bar didn't give Cherish many opportunities to dress sexy and ever since her earlier dream, she'd been desperate to rediscover her own sensuousness. She'd worn them that night to feel like a real woman again, but refused to give Justin the satisfaction of knowing he had a hand in it.  "We haven't dated in over ten years and you sound like a jealous boyfriend." she laughed.

"I'm jealous. I'll admit it." he traced his finger across the mesh fabric of her bra, teasing her nipple.

"Get over it. " she whispered, tracing her tongue across the shell of his ear causing him to sink deeper into the sensations she was evoking within him. Her words combined with her warm rapid breath in his ear sent a delicious shiver across his body.

Cherish's head fell back as he kissed a trail down her chest, his lips soft and teasing against the tops of her breasts. Her brain was screaming no and her body was telling her 'Screw that! We never have any fun when that bitch gets to running her mouth about logic and the past. We need this! We need his hands all over us, his lips sucking the shit out of our skin! We need this dammit! Don't let that bitch called our brain fuck it up!'

Justin leaned forward, his mouth slightly open, looking as though he wanted to kiss her and she turned her head away, only giving him access to her neck. "You're seriously not gonna kiss me?" His thumb stroked over her bottom lip and sent tingles clear to her toes. She looked into his eyes, shaking her head playfully.  He ran his thumb over across her cheek, threading his fingers behind her neck and through her hair as he watched her biting at her lip.  "You'd rather bit a hole through your lip than kiss me, Cherish?"

She looked at him under heavy eyelids and nodded as she un-tucked her shirt to undo the remaining buttons. Justin's mouth found it's way back to her collarbone, sucking harder. Cherish whimpered softly when his lips left her neck and his hands settled on her hips once more and she began grinding her body into his sensually.  She let out a low groan, gripping onto his shoulders and rocking her hips against him once more, pleasure rushing through her veins again, causing her mouth to fall open and a tiny moan of pleasure to slip past her lips.

Her mind was racing as he thrust his hips upwards grinding into her. It raced with thoughts of how good it would feel it they were both naked and he was buried deep inside her as he continued to move his hips in rhythm with hers. It was like riding a bike for them. They were perfectly in tune.

She let her fingertips dance along his back. How could someone be the most familiar person in her life, yet at the same time be so unfamiliar? Even the shape of his back had changed--newer, stronger muscles spread from the ridges of his spine--and she was desperate to know everything about the differences.

Her hips ground into him, working the bulge in his pants and she still couldn't believe that they were doing this. She couldn't believe that she was doing this.  Her brain was cock blocking again, setting off alarms and reminding her every other second that this was the same guy who'd abandoned her, the same guy who wasn't there for her when she needed him the most, the same one who could've cared less whether she was dead or alive for the past ten years.  She tried to push the thoughts from her mind  to let her body have what it wanted.

Justin pushed her shirt out of his way as he reached down between their waists to touch her stomach. "You still got it?" he asked innocently, fingering the waistband of her shorts.

Got what? She asked breathlessly.

"You know what." he smirked, running his fingers against the lower right hand side of her abdomen.  "Or did you have it removed?" he gently bit her earlobe.

"Oh wouldn't you like to know" she laughed.

"Yeah I would." his fingers worked the button of her shorts and clarity suddenly hit Cherish like a freight train.

"No." She struggled to free herself from his grip, pushing his shoulders back against the seat. "Stop, JT."

Cherish leaned forward pressing her forehead against his, both of them panting, his breathing as rapid as her own. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of her phone buzzing in her pocket.

An increasingly uncomfortable silence grew as they stared at one another..Waiting.  Justin wanting to tell her how sorry he was for everything that had happened and Cherish wanting to lash out and hurt him like he did her so many years ago. Neither could go through with it.  Justin turned his head away, looking towards Ryan's. "You should answer that. He's probably looking for you."

Cherish got off his lap and sat down, scrubbing her hand over her face before pulling out the phone to answer it. "Hello?"

Justin watched her through the corner of his eye as she buttoned up her shirt. He thought about how good they once were together.

"...I'm on my way.  I lost track of time." She grabbed her jacket, sliding it over her shoulders. "...Gimme ten minutes. Yes! Ten minutes!"

Cherish hung up the phone and pulled down the overhead visor. She wiped the sweat from her face, fanning herself when she noticed she was completely flushed. Justin continued to watch her as more thoughts raced through his mind. The two of them had been a couple up until the day he left and she pushed him away. She cut him off completely from her life and from everything that was apart of him that was growing inside her. He needed to know why and she wasn't willing to give him any answers.

He patiently sat there waiting for her to say something--anything, but she never glanced back his way or uttered a single word to him.

Cherish was completely mortified and couldn't bear to look him in the eye. She had behaved like a teenager and couldn't believe she allowed herself to do something like that after all these years. Every speech she gave to herself in the mirror and promises of what she'd do the next time she saw him had gone straight out the window. How could she possibly fight with him when a smile or one small touch was enough to weaken her resolve?

Cherish grabbed her shoes and began sliding them onto her feet when he finally opened his mouth and said, "So I guess we're not gonna talk about this either? We're not gonna talk about anything that happened ten years ago." His voice seethed with anger and bitterness. "We're not gonna discuss the fact that we just went from zero to a hundred in the front seat of my truck. We're just gonna avoid everything entirely. Because God forbid we have a real conversation about any of this shit!"

Cherish looked over at him, stunned by his tone. Her response hung from the edge of her tongue. They were three simple words that would bring an end to whatever it was that had brought them back together again. Three simple words that would halt his need to reminisce, stop his incessant flirtation, and make him leave Boone for good. Three words that would alter both their lives forever. Three words that could end it all but not be true. She bit her tongue and struggled to suppress her anger, stepping out of the car and slamming the door behind her.

"Goodnight to you too, Cherish." was all he said to himself as she walked away.

Cherish stopped and walked back over to the car, upset that he had a nerve to be angry with her. He went to open the door to get out and talk to her but she slammed it shut, not allowing him any chance to tower over or intimidate her as she spoke, "Why are you still here? Why did you come back at all?"

"My-"

She cut him off, "You've barely visited your father since you left town and now all of a sudden you care? I'd figure the minute you found out he was okay, you would've been on the first thing smoking outta here!  You've already said you're not staying for the reunion. So again, why are you still here, JT?"

Thoughts of the young curly haired boy rushed through his mind.  "I think we need to talk about everything that happened."

"Do you really wanna get into how you tore my heart into a million pieces?  I've rehearsed the speech a million times. But ever since you got here, I can't bring myself to tell you how I really feel…I just don't have it in me to be as cruel to you as you were to me ten years ago."

"Cherish, what the hell are you talking about? You were the one who bro-"

"Why do we need to rehash what happened? Weren't you there right along with me? Let's see…" she looked up thinking. "You were there. I was there. And then you weren't! End of story! What else is there to discuss? What do you fucking want from me?"

"Answers!  I think I deserve some answers!"

"You don't deserve jack shit!" she snapped, her anger finally bubbling to the surface.

"Oh! So you'll try to fuck me, but won't talk to me."

His sarcastic remark struck a raw nerve . "Fuck you? Is that what you thought? That we were going to fuck? Do you think I'd even consider fucking you after-" Cherish looked around to see if anyone was nearby and lowered her voice. "...after you got me pregnant and deserted me?"

"Cherish, please." he begged.

Her jaw quivered, and he saw a sheen of tears that she wouldn’t let fall. "You come back here broken and irreversibly damaged and now you suddenly want to fix things. You can’t fix this!"

Her words bit him like a cold wind. She saw it in his eyes, but she didn't care. He looked away from her, fixing his gaze upon the steering wheel.

She drew near and whispered , "Goodbye, JT" before walking away to her car. "Try not to let another ten years go by before you come back to see how the people you left behind are doin!"

Justin watched her speed away down the street. He banged his fist against the steering wheel and cursed to himself.