We were eating an early dinner with his parents before his show tonight. After a small...okay a large hiccup when we first got to Miami and met his parents we were about to get our dessert. Dinner went better then I ever could have imagined and it was so nice to see Justin just relax and spend time with his family. His father and I talked about sports for a good half of dinner, and the other half was spent answering his mothers' questions. She was very protective of Justin, which I totally understand so I half expected her to grill me the entire time. At first the questions were easy to answer, where did I go to school, where did I work etc etc...Then they started getting a little tougher to answer. She asked about my family and what they thought of me dating Justin. I explained to her that I don't really have a relationship with my parents and that they didn't actually know that we were dating. They probably wouldn't even care if they did. Then she asked what my plans were for after college. It was a question that I knew was coming but was praying that it wouldn't. I told her that I wasn't really sure. I knew I wanted to move to LA since I'm majoring in Media that would be the place to look for a job, plus I hate snow so it would be perfect for me. I made sure I let them know that I had planned on moving before I even met Justin so that they didn't find it suspicious. The last question came just as my tiramisu was placed in front of me.

"What are your intentions with my son?" I choked on the sip of coffee I had just put in my mouth. Justin put his hand on my knee and gave his mother a dirty look. "What is so bad about that question?" she asked him. He didn't say anything just took my hand in his and rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. Truthfully, I didn't know how to answer that question. Did she want to know what my intentions were for tonight? If so, do I tell her that I intend on taking her son back to our hotel room and ripping his clothes off so that we can have a quickie before he has to get to the venue? Or does she mean my intentions for the long term? And if that's the case do I tell her that every night I dream about me walking down the isle in a wedding gown into his waiting arms? Is it too soon to say that? I could feel three sets of eyes on me waiting for my answer.

"Well...that's a pretty involved question," I said picking up my napkin and wiping my mouth. "What are my intentions with your son? As you know from before I've fallen in love with your son. You've raised the perfect man, so thank you for that," I said with a laugh trying to ease my nerves. "This is as new to me as it is to you and to Justin. I've never dated a celebrity before so I don't want you to think that I'm a gold digger or want fame, I just want to love your son. I see past the musician and performer and I've gotten to know him for who he is, not what he does. He makes me happy, and I think that I make him happy as well. I intend on supporting him, and being there for him doing everything I can for him every step of the way. And if after dating for a while we realize that it's working, I have every intention of loving your son for the rest of my life." I don't know where I got those words from, and they all kind of came out like a jumbled mess but for the first time since I've known Justin I actually found the words to say what I feel.

No one said anything for what felt like an eternity. Justin squeezed my hand tighter and kissed my cheek while whispering an I love you in my ear. His parents looked at each other and his father put his arm around Lynn's shoulders and kissed her temple. I picked up my fork and dug into my dessert because I had no idea what else to do. I was so nervous that I said something wrong, why wasn't anyone speaking?

"I think our son has found himself a keeper," Paul finally said.

"I think so too," Lynn said putting her head on Paul's shoulder.

"Oh thank God," I said letting out a huge sigh of relief.

"Honey I told you I liked you back at the hotel I don't know what you were so worried about," Lynn said reaching across the table and putting her hand on top of mine.

"I don't either," I replied, "I guess just because you liked me doesn't mean you thought I was good enough for your son. I know how much he loves you and it was just really important that you guys approve because I would never want him to go against your wishes."

"I think you are perfect for my son Marissa. You make sure that you keep him in line and if there's any problems you can call me and I will put him in his place."

"I will, and thank you." I then put my hand up and called the waitress over, "Can I please get something with tequila in it?" I asked as the whole table erupted in laughter.

"Make it a round," Justin said, "I think we could all use it right now."

About 20 minutes later we all finished out drinks and dessert Justin was mid sentence when someone tapped him on his leg. He turned around and didn't see anyone until he looked down and there was a little girl that couldn't have been more then 4 years old standing next to him. 

"Excuse me but umm I listen to you on the radio and I see you on my TV. My mommy told me I couldn't come say hi but I come say hi while Mommy and Daddy don't watch me." Justin backed away from the table and squatted down in front of the little girl.

"Well thank you for listening to my music, but you probably shouldn't have left your Mommy and Daddy. What's your name?"

"My name is Madison Rose Dumaine, and I live in Miami Florida. What's your name?"

"My name is Justin Timberlake, it's nice to meet you Madison Rose Dumaine," he shook her tiny hand and I couldn't help but giggle a little bit at how cute this interaction was.

"Nice to meet you too Justin," she said wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a hug. Justin picked her up and placed her on his hip.

"So why don't you tell me where your Mommy and Daddy are so we can get you back to them."

"There's my Mommy!" she said pointing to a woman frantically searching for her child. "Mommy, I over here. Look who I found!" The woman ran over to our table, and Justin put his head down in hopes that the whole restaurant didn't see him standing there.

"Oh my gosh I am so sorry, I told her not to come over here. I took my eyes off of her for a second and she was gone. Madison do you have your listening ears on?" she asked taking the child out of Justin's arms.

"My mommy says you bringing sexyback," the little girl said looking at Justin. Her mothers' eyes bugged out of her head.

"MADISON!"

"It's okay," Justin said laughing, "it's always good to know I have fans. Would you like to take a picture Madison? And maybe your Mommy would like to get in it too," Justin asked.

"YES!" she screamed.

"Well I'll tell you what. Since you are quite possibly the cutest kid I've ever met in my life, I'm going to give you some tickets and backstage passes to my show tonight. Do you think you'll be able to make it?"

"Can we Mommy please?" she asked clapping her hands together.

"Thank you Justin, but we can't accept those. We've interrupted your dinner and have now probably blown your cover."

"No really, I insist. Mama," he said turning around to face Lynn, "Do you have those extras I gave you earlier?" Lynn handed him three tickets and backstage passes, and Justin gave them to the little girl. "So I'll see you tonight at the show? And then after you can come backstage and we can take our picture, how does that sound?"

"Sounds good to me!" she said.

"Great, but you've got to make a deal with me okay?"

"K."

"You've got to listen to your Mommy and Daddy and no more running away from them. I'm going to ask them tonight and if they tell me you didn't keep your end of the deal then no picture okay?"

"Okay I PROMISE!"

"Great! It was nice to meet you and I'll see you tonight!"

"Thanks again, and I'm so sorry about invading your dinner," the woman said.

"It's really not a problem, see you tonight." Justin waved before he sat back down next to me.

"That was probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life," I said.

"She was pretty cute huh? I wish every time someone came up to me at a restaurant it was like that. I don't mind when it's a little kid that doesn't know any better, or if I'm not eating. It's the people that just come up to me when I'm about to put a piece of food in my mouth that aggravate me. But now the issue is going to be getting out of this restaurant without getting swamped by cameras because I'm sure everyone that's in here now knows that it's me sitting here."

That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I turned around and looked towards the entrance and I saw flashbulbs reflecting off of the windows. I loved Justin, but I wasn't ready for this. From where they were now there was no way they could get a clear shot of me, but once I walked out that door my face was going to plastered on magazines. I tensed up and thought about how now was the time my whole world was going to change. I thought about Amy and the backlash that she would get for lying for me, and how her life is going to be swarmed with questions. My mind was racing with possibilities of what might happen.

"It's okay babe, we'll go out the back door or something. Everything's going to be fine."

"There won't be people out there too? Justin I'm not ready for this."

"It's fine. I'm going to go pay the bill and get in the car. You go with my mom to the bathroom and I'll send another car around back for you. Don't worry okay, I've got it under control," he said with his hands on each side of my face. "I love you, I won't let anything happen to you."

"Okay," I said wanting so badly to kiss him but knew that I couldn't because there would be a picture of it all over the internet tomorrow.

"Come on sweetheart, let's get this show on the road," Lynn said while walking around the table and grabbing my hand. I looked at Justin pleading with him to make sure this wasn't going to be a problem.

"It'll be fine, just go," he said.

I got up and followed Lynn to the bathroom. I know that we're not going to be able to stay out of the public eye forever, but I'm just not prepared for it this soon especially since I'm going back to Boston tonight and I'll be left to deal with it by myself. We walked into the bathroom and there was a woman standing at the mirror fixing her hair and Lynn practically sprinted into the stall. I walked over to the empty sink and splashed some cold water on my face before pretending to fix my hair. Once the other woman left Lynn came out of the stall.

"Sorry sweetie, people recognize me now so I didn't want to take any chances."

"It's okay, that's what I figured," I said looking at myself in the mirror.

"You get use to it after a while," Lynn said while washing her hands.

"Use to what?"

"The cameras following you around everywhere you go. And after some time you won't even hear them shouting at you. You just can't pay attention to what they say, because if you do you'll go insane. They'll call you fat and say you're not good enough for him, or that you're just the flavor of the year. Ridiculous things like that, but if you pay attention to it and hear it so many times you'll start to believe it. So don't even listen to them, just tune them right out."

"Do they follow you too?" I asked.

"If I'm in LA or New York they do, it's just something that comes with the package. It's annoying, but you'll get use to it."

"It's just that...I have my life you know? I have to go to class and work everyday and I know they're going to follow me which is fine because I'm making the choice to date Justin and everything that comes along with him, but I just don't want them to hound my friends and co-workers, and I especially don't want them to go to my house or anything and talk to my parents because that would just end badly. I don't want to hurt Justin's career either. What if I do something wrong? Or say something that I wasn't suppose to? I just don't want to mess up his life and everything he's worked for, he's worked his whole life for what he has and one little thing I might do could mess it up and that's just so much pressure."

"You can't look at it that way. Just live your life as you would normally and don't add any fuel to the fire. It gets crazy, they scream and yell and sometimes it's hard to walk with all the flashes going off in your face, but you've just got to push your way through and live your life. There is no point in changing your everyday activities for them, and there is no way you'd hurt Justin's career. His fans love him, and whether there's a picture of you or not they're still going to buy his albums and go to his shows. You just have to be strong and be able to handle derogatory things being screamed at you and not let it bother you, and like I said, after a while you won't even hear them anymore."

"Well, I guess when you put it like that..." I felt my cell phone vibrating in my bag. I took it out and saw a new text message from Justin.

"Paparazzi everywhere...tell my Mom to go out the back and you go out front and hail a cab, they won't suspect anything. Meet you back at the hotel. I'm really sorry Ris." 

I told Lynn what the text said and told myself repeatedly that everything would be okay. I really didn't want to do this alone, but I knew it was the only way to get out unnoticed. Lynn gave me a hug and reassured me that everything would work out perfectly and that Justin wouldn't put me in this position if he thought something would go wrong. We walked out of the bathroom, she turned right and I turned left with my heart beating out of my chest. It felt like it took years to make it to the front door, and after thanking the hostess I pushed through the door praying over and over again that I wouldn't see a flashbulb go off. I knew if I looked nervous I'd blow my cover so I walked out with my head held high and a smile on my face. There were about 15 paparazzi standing there and I heard them whispering to each other asking if I was someone famous. I saw a few of them shake their heads and go back to setting up their cameras for the next person to walk out. I threw my hand up and hailed a cab and just as I was about to open the door I felt a tap on my shoulder. I froze. My first instinct was to turn around, but I was no longer let my first instinct take over immediately. When I felt another tap on my shoulder though I knew I had to turn around. I turned my head and there was an older man with grey hair and a beard standing behind me that I didn't recognize. This could only lead to disaster.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey, could you spare me a couple dollars so that I can get a cab home? My car broke down and it's going to take forever for AAA to come, and my daughter is home sick."

"Umm...sure," I replied looking around to make sure this wasn't a setup. I opened the cab door, sat down in the back seat and started rummaging through my bag. All I could find was a $20, but at that point I didn't care because I just wanted to get out of there. "Here you go, I hope your daughter feels better," I said.

"Oh no Miss, I can't take this from you this is too much."

"No please, just take it really."

"Thank you so much. Can I get your name and address so I can repay you?"

"You don't need to repay me really, go get home to your daughter."

"Thank you, you have no idea what this means..."

"No problem," I said closing the cab door and sighing heavily. "Newport Vista Villages please," I said to the cab driver before leaning my head on the window, closing my eyes and thanking God I got out of that one untouched. I felt my phone vibrating and search for it blindly in my bag not wanting to open my eyes. "Hello?"

"Marissa?"

"Yes, who's calling?"

"It's your mother, where are you?"

"Mom what's wrong?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm in Florida what's wrong?"

"What are you doing in Florida?"

"It doesn't matter, tell me what's wrong."

"It's your cousin Frankie."

"What's the matter? What's wrong did it come back?"

"He got a cold, and since he has basically no immune system he wasn't able to fight it."

"What do you mean wasn't able to fight it Mom? Did they put him on a ventilator or something?"

"Marissa, he's gone. He passed last night."

"I have to go, I'll be home either tonight or first thing in the morning."

"Marissa you don't have to stop your life for this."

"HE WAS MY COUSIN and one of my best friends, and you don't want me to come home? I know that you guys don't want to see me, but I want to see him okay. I'll get a hotel or something I'm not asking to stay at your house, but I WILL stop my life for this. I'll see you in a couple of days," I said hitting the end button and staring aimlessly at the headrest in front of me. About 5 minutes later we pulled up to the hotel, I paid the driver and walked through the halls of the hotel in a daze. I opened the door to our room and heard Justin in the shower. I started packing everything I had just unpacked and put my suitcase by the door. The first flight back to Boston didn't leave until 10:00, so I sat on the bed just staring trying to figure out how and why he was gone. I heard Justin say my name, but I couldn't answer him, I was completely numb. There were no tears, nothing just utter shock.

"I have to go home," I heard myself say finally.

"What do you mean you have to go home? What happened did they take your picture?" he asked now sitting next to me on the bed.

"He's gone." That's all I could say, over and over again, "he's gone." I could hear Justin's voice but I wasn't listening to what he was saying. I couldn't focus, it was becoming hard to breathe, "he's gone." The next thing I knew I heard Luke's voice, and I could hear what they were saying but I couldn't respond to them.

"She just keeps saying 'he's gone'," Justin said.

"Who is he?"

"I don't know that's all she's saying it's like she's in another world or something. I got out of the shower and she was just sitting on the bed staring off into space." I felt the bed move, and I could feel arms wrapped around my neck and fingers interlaced with mine. They were both on either side of me.

"Marissa who's gone?" Luke asked.

"He's gone."

"Sweetie, you have to tell us who or we can't help you, who's gone?"

"He fought so hard, and he was in remission and now he's gone. Just like that he's gone."

"Her phone says that her Mom called her," Justin said to Luke.

"Marissa, who is gone?" he asked again. I just shook my head and I could now feel tears starting to form in my eyes. "Marissa, was it Frankie?" I nodded as the first of the tears started to fall. I felt Justin squeeze my hand and place a kiss on my temple, and Luke wrapped me up in a hug. I put my free hand on his back and sobbed into his shoulder. They both let me cry and didn't say a word. After calming down enough to blow my nose Luke backed away and asked me what happened.

"He got a cold, and he couldn't fight it," I said through sniffles.

"He died from a cold?" Justin asked.

"He had leukemia for over a year, and about 6 months ago he went into remission," I explained still not able to look at him. "Because of all the chemo, and the bone marrow transplant he basically had no immune system to fight off even a common cold. He died last night." No one said anything. We all kind of sat there in silence for a little while. "He had just gone back to school, we were suppose to graduate together, and now he's gone. How can he be gone? He's twenty three fucking years old," I said now screaming. I got off of the bed and attempted to make it to the bathroom but fell to the floor about half way there. Justin ran over to me, wrapped his arms around me and let me cry like a little baby in his arms. In between sobs I could hear Luke explaining everything to Justin.

"Frankie is...was her cousin. He was the only person in her family that she was really close to. They went to the same school, majored in the same thing and had plans to move out to LA together after she graduated. Two years ago he was diagnosed with Leukemia, he did all the Chemo even had a bone marrow transplant and was basically confined to his house for about a year. Six months ago he was told he was in remission and that he could go back to school and do normal everyday things again. Since he had to take some time off they were set to graduate together. Damn...he was only 23. He was the funniest dude too, and he had such a huge heart. I can't believe it," he said in a shaky voice.

I fell asleep in Justin's arms on the floor of a hotel room. The next thing I knew I was waking up in our bed with my head on his beating chest. I could feel his breath on the top of my head, and his arms were holding me tightly against him. I didn't move because if I did, that would make it all real again. If I just stayed where I was maybe I could stay like this forever. A few minutes later the alarm on Justin's phone went off, and I was forced to move as he reached to turn it off. He rolled back over to me and began to rub my back while placing small kisses on the top of my head.

"I can't come to the show tonight," I said softly.

"And why is that?"

"I just have a lot to do. I have to book a flight, call my school and try and reschedule my finals. I have to book a hotel because from the way my mother was talking I'm not really welcome to stay at their house, and I have to make a few phone calls."

"It's all done."

"What's done?"

"Everything you just said is done. I called your school and rescheduled your finals for the end of the week, they obviously knew about Frankie and understood. I booked a hotel right near the funeral home and church for Monday through Wednesday, and I booked a private plane for us for right after the show."

"Thank you Justin," I said breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't have to do anything of that. Then I realized the last thing he said, "wait for us?"

"Yes, for me, you and Luke. I have to do my meet and greet right after the show, but we'll leave right from there and fly to Boston."

"Justin it's your last week of shows."

"They've been rescheduled already. I need to be with you this week, and everyone understands that."

Normally I would have yelled at him and told him that he was crazy, but I needed to be selfish. And selfishly, I needed him with me. This is not the way I wanted him to meet my friends and family, and this certainly wasn't the way I wanted it to be made public that we were dating, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to get through this without him. "I love you," was all I could say. He laid with me for a few more minutes before he had to get up and go to the venue. I told him I'd try my best to go to the show and thanked him a thousand times for everything.

"I know this is hard," he said placing a kiss on my mouth, "but you're strong and you'll get through this. I'm here for you for whatever you need okay? I love you."

About an hour later I woke up to Luke telling me it was time to go. I decided that sitting in this room and crying all night wasn't going to bring Frankie back, and I needed to be surrounded by people who loved me to help me get through this. I changed my clothes and freshened up while I heard Luke talking on the phone in the living room. When I walked out he got off the phone quickly, put his arm around my shoulders and lead me out into a waiting car. We got to the venue fairly quickly and we walked in through the back door. I tried to put on a happy face, but my puffy eyes were an indication that my smile might just be a lie. We walked into Justin's dressing room and Lynn immediately got up and gave me a hug followed by Paul, Rachel and Trace. I felt a little bit better being surrounded by people that I knew cared and I was looking forward to getting my mind off of it by enjoying the show. Justin walked into his dressing room followed by his band and dancers dressed and ready to start the show. He walked straight over to me and gave me a big bear hug picking me up so that me feet were no longer on the floor, and planted a kiss on my mouth.

"I'm glad you came," he said after putting me down.

"Me too," I replied, "Good luck out there."

"Thanks babe. And I want you to enjoy yourself okay?" he asked while slapping my ass playfully.

"Justin!" I laughed, surprised that he would do such a thing in front of everyone.

"Sorry, I just had to see you smile," he said.

"You're a freak, but I love you."

We all gathered around in a circle and held hands to pray before the show. I had Justin on one side of me and Luke on the other. I looked around at all of the faces in the circle and realized that this was my new family. What started out as a day where I thought I wouldn't be accepted, turned into the day that I realized I was no longer alone in this world.

"Dear God," Justin started, "We want to thank you for bringing us all here today, and we pray for our friends and family that they stay safe and healthy. Help us to perform to the best of our abilities, and put on a great show for the fans. We pray especially for Marissa tonight while she goes through a hard time with the loss of her cousin Frankie. Watch over us tonight Frankie, this one is for you. Amen." Everyone said Amen and started to disperse and Justin leaned down to give me a kiss.

"Thank you baby," I said.

"I love you. Enjoy yourself okay?"

"I will," I said letting go of his hand and watching him run towards the stage.

We made our way to our seats, and I was able to enjoy myself for the most part. Lynn, Trace and Luke kept asking me how I was doing and I would randomly receive hugs from all of them. I couldn't help buy smile watching Justin perform, and I was able to take my mind off of everything for two hours. He kept "Something Like You" in the set and Luke informed me that it was so cheesy he was going to vomit while Lynn was crying on Paul's shoulder and holding my hand. Justin came back out for his encore and sang "Another Song" but he stayed seated right after he was done. His band went backstage, and it was just him and the piano.

"Just recently I realized how precious life really is," he started. "Sometimes we take the people that mean the most to us for granted, and we don't realize it until it's too late. So tonight when you go home make sure you tell those people how much you love them, because for some people they never get the chance to actually do that until they can't anymore. This one goes out to anyone who's lost someone that they loved. This one is for you Frankie."

Lynn put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and when I looked around there really wasn't a dry eye around me. I felt hands on my back and kisses being placed on my forehead and cheeks. I held Luke's hand and kept my eyes only on Justin. The room fell silent and he started playing the first song that came into my head the moment my mother told me he was gone, and suddenly I was at peace.

I never thought you were a fair-weather friend

You never let me down, you're true to the end
For in the darkest hour, when all was lost
Somehow you left the light on
You faced the wrong and showed the world a thing or two
Stood up for me, for you
And you should know

Some say it wasn't worth the things we went through
I say it ain't worth losing you
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives
Someday you'll see if only through heaven's eyes

I still remember the things that you said
I keep your words alive I could never forget
Cause in the final hour you made me proud
So proud that I could know you
You told the world its time that they believed in you
You stood for right and truth
And you should know

Some say it wasn't worth the things we went through
I say it ain't worth losing you
I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives
Someday you'll see if only through heaven's eyes

Only through heaven's eyes ...

And so we can't forget
We've got to keep remembering them all
The ones who took the fall
They did it for us all
And we should learn from it