"Mr. Timberlake...Mr. Timberlake..." I felt taping on my shoulder.

"Huh? What?" I said opening my eyes and lifting my head up to see two nurses standing there.

"Mr. Timberlake would you like to go get a coffee or something to eat?"

"No...no I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere."

"We need to take Miss Mitchell for some testing so maybe you can go home and freshen up..."

"More tests? What's going on here? It's been two days and she's still not awake. I'm not stupid there's something you're not telling me." I was sitting in the same chair I was two days ago wearing the same clothes, still holding her hand, hoping and praying for her to open her eyes or at least give me some sign that she's okay. Now there were two nurses telling me that they were taking her for what seemed like the millionth test and they've yet to tell me what the problem is.

"As we told you yesterday sir, since you're not really her family we can't share with you the details of Miss Mitchell's test results. However we can tell you that your child is making some major strides and is looking better and better everyday."

"I don't know what you people don't understand. I am her fucking family. I'm the only family she has, so I would appreciate it if you'd cut the crap and tell me what's wrong."

"We understand your frustration, but you need to understand that we are restricted by law Mr. Timberlake..."

"How is it, that you, complete strangers or anyone that has access to her records for that matter can know what's wrong with her but I can't. You don't even know anything about her, but I could sit here for days and tell you everything. Like for example when she brushes her teeth, she wets the toothbrush turns the water off, puts toothpaste on then wets the toothbrush again before she even starts brushing. Or how about the fact that when she sleeps on her back she has nightmares. Did you know that when she's nervous she twirls her thumbs? I bet even after all your tests you don't know that she has a freckle on her left hip, or that she loves to have her back scratched and when you hit just the right spot she'll sigh and fall right into your hand. Can you tell me her fears, because I can tell you. She's afraid of elevators, and bugs even the smallest of bugs she'll freak out and jump up on furniture to get away from them. Have you ever seen her eyes light up when she sees something that makes her happy? Or how she can't keep a straight face when she's trying to act mad, the right side of her lip will start to rise if she looks at you and then she'll start laughing. Did you know any of that? Are you feeling your heart break over and over again every time you look at her and see her lying there motionless without a smile? Or is she just another patient that you forget about when you go home and curl up to your significant other at night? I am her family. Me and that baby, that's all she has."

"Mr. Timberlake..."

"Don't. Take her for the tests, and while you're wheeling her there think about how you would feel if this was your boyfriend or girlfriend and no one was telling you what was going on. I'll be in the waiting room." I got up kissing her forehead and breathed in her scent that was quickly becoming unfamiliar and the same as the rest of the hospital. I walked past the nurses out the door not looking at them and went to the waiting room. I had to adjust my eyes to the lights that seemed to be a thousand times brighter then the ones in her room. I sat down on the couch leaning my head back trying to figure out what the next step was. How was I going to get some answers, where do I go from here? I felt the couch move just as I was about to doze off and my head shot up to see Trace and Amy sitting next to me. I wrapped my arm around Amy's neck and pulled her closer to me while resting my head on top of hers.

"Anything?" Trace asked.

I shook my head knowing that it couldn't be good if she still wasn't awake from two days ago. Last time I checked if you don't wake up for that long, you're in a coma and that is never a good thing. "They won't tell me anything if it doesn't pertain to the baby who is looking better and better everyday, but Marissa on the other hand still hasn't woken up. I don't know what the fuck to do, what happened to her Trace? Something more then some asshole attacking her had to have happened."

"I don't know J. She was doing great all week, she woke up went to class came home for lunch and then she went to go to work. Then 10 minutes later I got a call from a cop saying that she was attacked. When I got there, it was just a bloody mess and then I called you. But I'm with you I feel like there's more to this then just that. She'll pull through though man, she's strong."

"I've been such an ass for the past three months. I'm such a fucking idiot, what if she never wakes up?"

"STOP IT!" Amy yelled. "She will wake up, stop acting like she's not going to. She'll wake up because she's been living and breathing for that baby. She's going to wake up...she's my best friend and I know her, she'll wake up. She wouldn't leave you alone with that baby, she promised you'd be a family. And she won't leave me maid of honorless. So just stop, please stop."

"It's okay baby, we know," Trace said wrapping his arms around her, and she buried her face in his shoulder. I couldn't look at them, if I did I'd lose it so I threw my head back again until I heard a nurse come back for me.

"Mr. Timberlake?

"Yes? Is she back in her room?"

"No sir, she's not. Could you come with me for a moment please?" I looked over at Trace and he had the look of utter fear in his eyes. Amy was still curled up next to him crying. I slowly stood up afraid that she was going to tell me something awful. She started walking back to the ICU and stopped looking down the hall making sure no one was there before we went into the corner before the doors. I looked at her with pleading eyes. "I'm not suppose to tell you this, but I heard what you said in that room earlier and you're right you deserve to know what's going on. Miss Mitchell, she has bleeding in her brain." At that moment my heart stopped beating. I wasn't a doctor, but I've watched enough Grey's Anatomy and ER with Marissa to know this wasn't something that was to be taken lightly. "She's going to need to go into surgery again, and they're going to have to drain the blood and repair any broken vessels. Now this will be her third and most intrusive surgery, it's risky I'm not going to lie to you and there is more risk due to the fact that she's pregnant. A Neurosurgeon will be doing the surgery and another doctor will be there monitoring the baby." I started pacing, I didn't know what else to do. They were going to slice open her head, all this over some stupid fuck trying to attack her.

"Tell me the risks...tell me the chances...for both of them damnit!"

She looked around again, making sure no one could over hear our conversation. When she saw that the coast was clear she continued, "It's very risky, anything to do with the brain is risky, however this is about as simple of a procedure as they come. Her chances of survival since she's pregnant is about 65%, and since the baby isn't even close to full term the chance of survival is less then that since trauma and stress can cause some problems as well as if the mother dies and we have to deliver, the baby would be born without fully developed organs."

"So your telling me that there is a 35% chance that she could die in surgery, and even more of a chance for my unborn child?"

"I know this is difficult to process, but those chances are actually really good for cases dealing with brain surgery."

"When does she go in? I need to see her before she does."

"She is in surgery now sir. She should be out in a couple of hours." That was it. That was all I could take. Now they are lying to me about taking her for tests. I understand that there's no ring on her finger and that we're not blood related, but how could they take someone into a high risk surgery and not let the people closest to them know or say goodbye or good luck even.

"Is this even fucking legal?"

"Unfortunately it is, so here's my best advice for you. We have the best surgeon in there with her right now and it's going to be a couple of hours at least, so why don't you go home and take a shower. Eat something and do whatever you need to do and then come back in a few hours. There's no reason for you to stay here if she's in surgery."

"What if something happens?"

"You can't think like that. She's been through a lot the past couple of days and she's pulled through, her attacker got her pretty good. She has the will to live, so you have to have faith in that."

"Faith," I scoffed, "Look where faith has gotten us so far."

"She'll pull through, and if anything should happen we'll call you, but for now...go home Justin." It was the first time in two days someone has actually called me Justin and not Mr. Timberlake and in a way it kind of made me feel human again, like this wasn't a nightmare but real life. There was nothing I could do sitting here waiting for her to come out, I had to go home and take care of myself and just believe that she'd be okay.

"Thank you. They have my number at the desk, please make sure they call with anything at all."

"Your welcome. Now go freshen up before you start stinkin' up the floor."

I walked back to Trace and Amy and told them I was going home for a bit. I didn't tell them she was in surgery because I knew Amy would flip out and we didn't need anyone besides me flipping out right now because I was doing it enough for the both of us. They both just looked at me not saying a word and watched me walk through the sliding glass doors. Once the doors opened it was like all hell broke loose. I was practically trampled by people and flashes were going off like crazy. I tried to make my way to the car Eric left for me but I was literally at a stand still surrounded at one point. They were asking questions left and right and my mind was going in a million different directions. I just needed to get to the damn car.

Justin how's she doing?

Is it true that she's pregnant?

Justin who was it that attacked her?

What's her status? Is she in critical condition?

Justin is she dead?

"REALLY? You're really going to do this right now? All of you get the fuck out of my way so I can get to my God damn car. When will you assholes stop?" Some of them stepped aside and others just continued with what they were doing. I made it to my car and blasted the radio speeding off not caring if I even ran one of them over. I pulled into the driveway of our apartment complex and turned the car off, banging my head off of the steering wheel unable to wrap my head around everything that was going on. Like a zombie I walked into our apartment and as soon as I sat down on the couch I lost it. I was trying to stay strong for everyone involved for the past two days and the minute I was alone surrounded by everything that was her I completely broke down. I was crying so hard it was hard to breath. How am I suppose to handle knowing that there's a chance the love of my life and my child could die within a couple of hours. How am I supposed to handle any of this?

After hours worth of sobbing I reached over and turned the television on, and quickly turned it off when I realized that this was breaking news on every fucking channel I turned on. People didn't even know what was going on, only that she was in the hospital and it was fucking everywhere. I got up going into the bathroom and prepared to take a shower. I probably smelt like a homeless person, and like that nurse said, there's nothing  I can do but wait.

***

Marissa

I could hear voices, and I could see different people. I saw Justin and Luke. I saw Trace and Amy on the alter putting rings on each others fingers, and I saw Frankie sitting at a Red Sox game taunting the other team. My head was pounding and everyone was talking at the same time. I saw myself pushing a baby stroller down the street, and I saw my family gathered at a table talking about how great it was to have me out of there lives. Everything was flashing in front of me and it was just making my head hurt more. I saw a quite corner with flowers and walked over to it, sitting down and putting the flowers to my nose. It was silent, so peacefully silent. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, only to be woken up moments later by beeping and hearing someone calling my name.

"Marissa...can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." I squeezed down as hard as I could and then I heard someone start crying. I looked around trying to find the person but I couldn't see anyone, just a bright white room covered with my favorite flowers. I was searching frantically for this person that was crying but there was no one, and no door to leave this room. I started banging on the walls and the noise was making my head explode every time. I finally sat on the floor holding my head. When I opened my eyes I was on longer in the white room with flowers. I looked in front of me and there was a blue curtain hanging down from the ceiling, and to my left was a monitor beeping with staggering lines going across it. I felt someone stand up next to me and when I turned my head I saw the love of my life standing over me with tears drowning his eyes.

"Ris...oh thank God," he practically slammed down on top of me wrapping his arms around me putting his left hand on my cheek almost as if to make sure I was real. The weight of his body on me hurt like hell, and the one thing that didn't change was my head pounding out of my head. I reached up and felt a wrap on my forehead and became even more confused then I already was.

"Where am I? What happened?"

"You in the hospital baby. Do you remember anything?" I shook my head.

"There was a white room with flowers...I saw Frankie at the game...Before that I remember walking to work." I saw doctors come in and check papers that were coming out of the monitor and one of them wrapped a cuff around my arm and started taking my blood pressure.

"You saw Frankie?"

"Yeah...at the game. We went to the game and he was taunting the Yankees, you know him he hates them so much."

"I know baby...I know," he was crying again.

"Why the tears?"

"They're happy tears." After he said that it was as if I snapped back into reality. Justin was sitting next to me and holding my hand...Justin, my Justin.

"Justin?" I asked.

"Yeah babe, I'm here."

"You came back for me...you really do love me."

"Of course I love you. I never stopped loving you, I should have never left in the first place."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm sorry I lied and kept secrets, I drove you away just like I drove everyone else in my life away."

"None of that matters right now, all that matters is that your alive and our baby is okay and we are going to be a family. I love you Marissa, nothing else matters."

"Frankie's gone isn't he?" He stroked my forehead, still holding on tight to my hand.

"Yeah, Frankie's gone. But he's in a better place."

"He's happy." He nodded in agreement and then put his lips to my hand. "My head hurts a lot." It wasn't until then that one of the doctors spoke up.

"Marissa my name is Dr. Goulding and I'm a neurosurgeon. We had to do some surgery on you that's going to make your head feel like it's going to explode for a couple of days. These IV's coming out of your hands," he lifted up a couple of tubes that were being held down by medical tape, "one of them is a pain medication, and the other one is to help your baby." I nodded my head understanding what he said, "do you remember anything about how you got here?"

"No...not really. I remember walking to work and then I remember hitting my head. I remember hearing Trace calling an airline, and Amy holding my hand. I think I remember Justin coming but maybe I was just dreaming..."

"You heard me?"

"Yeah...I heard you and I can remember trying so hard to squeeze your hand but I don't know if I did."

"You did baby..."

"Do you know what day it is Marissa?" The doctor asked.

"Ummm...Monday?"

"Okay, it's actually Wednesday night. The accident happened on Monday."

"What accident?"

"For right now we just want you to get some rest okay. It's really important for your recovery and the baby's."

"Okay," I said letting it go for now because the more I talked the more my head hurt, "but can Justin stay?"

"Of course. We'll be back to check on you in a couple of hours okay?" They walked out and I turned my head to Justin looking into his crystal blue eyes. I've missed them so much.

"Will you come and lay with me?" He nodded getting up off of his chair and throwing his leg over the railing of the bed. I slid over realizing then that every bone in my body hurt and that I had a cast on my left leg. What the hell fucking happened to me? "I hurt," I said with a pouty face.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked taking his hand off of my stomach.

"No," I said putting his hand back, "I just mean that I'm all wrapped up, my leg, my head."

"I know, but you're strong and you pulled through. I thought I was going to lose you and I didn't know what to do."

"I could never leave you...I know it may not seem like it right now because I'm in so much pain, but I can't even explain to you how happy I am that you came back, and how good it feels to feel you touch me again. I thought you'd never forgive me."

"I was stupid Marissa, you weren't the only one that didn't do the right thing. I should have let you explain, I should have trusted you."

"Can I kiss you?" I asked not wanting to overstep my boundaries, but at the same time craving his lips on mine.

"Why are you asking me that? Of course you can kiss me..."

"I...I just asked because I guess I just wasn't sure if we're back to normal. It's been a while and I just...I missed you so much Justin." He sat up on his elbow leaning down and ever so gently put his lips on mine. It was like our first kiss all over again. I had butterflies in my stomach and my lips began to tingle. He backed away shortly after and I looked at him in the eyes again and all the pain was momentarily taken away.

"I never...EVER want you to ask me that question again. I love you, and we are better then normal. From here on out things are going to be different, if you thought everything was great before get ready for the ride of your life because it's going to be even better once we get you home."

"We're having a baby," I said for the first time directly to him since I found out I was pregnant, "I can not wait to have a baby with you."

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. But before we have a baby you need to get better. Soon you'll be good as new," He kissed my forehead before I shimmied painfully down the bed a little bit to put my head on his chest. I put my hand on top of his on my stomach and closed my eyes listening to his heartbeat. It was beating strong and hard, just like the baby's, and for the first time in four months...just like mine.

***

Before the whole escapade when Justin left me in the doctor's office, I'd never had an overnight visit to the hospital. That time I was there for a week, and this time I was in for close to a month. After a couple more turns for the worse, I was better in about two weeks, but while monitoring the baby the doctors found some things that they wanted to keep an eye on for a little longer. Justin was with me the entire time, only leaving to go home every so often to get a few changes of clothes or to run to school for me to get makeup work so that I wouldn't be too far behind to catch up. Amy and Trace came to visit almost everyday, and Amy and I would sit and talk wedding plans for their early 2009 wedding. They said they were going to do it in November but they wanted the baby to be in the wedding so they were holding off.

Things were back to normal, well as normal as they can be sitting in a hospital bed all day. Once I felt good enough, Justin and I hashed out everything that happened and decided to put it all behind us. We all make mistakes, some bigger then others but when you love someone you love them for everything including their mistakes. We also did a lot of talking about the future. The baby was due in January and if everything went as planned I was graduating in December. We had planned on moving out to LA right after graduation but since the baby is due so soon after, we decided to stay here for the birth. We also talked about our apartment here in Boston. Justin wants to buy it so that we'll have a place to stay when we come back to visit. I informed him that I never planned on coming back to visit but then he reminded me that I didn't just have family here but I had my friends and Amy and Trace were going to be permanently staying here too.  Also I'm going to need to come back to get my fix of baseball/basketball/football/hockey games, so after much convincing we decided that buying was the right thing to do. I still felt uneasy about it though because I really wouldn't be able to contribute to paying for it but he tells me every single day not to worry about it.

We somehow managed to sneak out of the hospital at the end of September unnoticed. They must have gotten bored following Justin back and forth from the apartment to the hospital, and after some strategic planning we were able to get by the few people that were left outside. I was put on strict bed rest for two weeks and if after that everything seemed okay I was allowed to go back to school and go back to work part time. Justin's parents were flying in the day I got home and we were going to finally tell them the news about me being pregnant, 5 and a half months later. Lynn had wanted to come visit in the hospital but Justin wouldn't let her because he wanted to tell her about the baby when we were in the clear so that she wouldn't be worrying too.

When Justin opened the apartment door a huge smile formed on my face. I hadn't been to the place I called home in over four months and being back was overwhelming. I'm not sure if it was pure excitement or hormones but I broke down like a 2 year old that just got my toy taken away.

Once we got settled (meaning Justin made me pee and then promptly tucked me into bed putting the remote in my hand and a bottle of water on the nightstand next to me) Justin went to go pick up his parents from the airport. He contrived a huge plan to hide my now large stomach behind numerous blankets and comforters and we were to tell his parents "when the time is right." The moment he left however, I threw each and every blanket off of me so that I wouldn't die of heat stroke. It made me so happy to see how excited he was about this baby. His happiness took my reservations and fears away and actually made me start to get excited about it too, and I could not wait to share the news with his parents. The moment I heard the front door open and the chatter coming from downstairs I threw the blankets back on me and patiently waited for them to come up. About 10 minutes and 2 gallons of sweat later I finally heard them coming up the steps. Lynn barged through the door and gave me a hug, and I was somehow able to throw a pillow over my stomach before she reached me running at full speed. Everyone sat down on the bed and Justin started with the small talk. I knew he wanted to wait for the right time, but I was dying. I reached over to grab the bottle of water and took a sip as Lynn asked if anything was new. Justin was going on and on about when we were moving back to LA and stupid stuff and I couldn't take it anymore.

"So..." I said interrupting him, "we're having a baby." He shot me a death stare but I knew he'd get over it. "I'm sorry, but if I don't come out from under these covers I'm going to pass out." I said it all in a matter of 5 seconds and I think it took Lynn actually seeing me to process what I had just said.

"A...A...A baby? Paul...Paul did you hear what she said? Look at her, they're having a baby," she looked at him with tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. We were making one of her lifelong dreams come true and it made me feel so good inside.

"I heard her Lynn...this is incredible news."

"Justin how could you not tell me that you were having a baby. I mean look at her she must be what 5 or 6 months along and you kept this from me? Why I outta..."

"I'm sorry Mama, but with Ris being in the hospital there were a few complications and we just wanted to make sure everything was okay before we told you. I didn't want to get your hopes up, and we wanted to tell you in person together and this was the first chance we got," he said grabbing my hand and looking at me with a smile.

"My baby is having a baby. I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life," she said throwing her arms around Justin.

"Hey what about when I was born?"

"Oh sweetie this is so much more exciting...this time it's not my baby to take care of. I can spoil it and give it whatever I want and send it back to you guys to deal with the hard stuff."

"Thanks Mama," he said with a pout.

"Oh Justin, you'll get over it," she said hitting him in the shoulder before turning to me, "And you missy...you look so beautiful," she leaned in and gave me a hug. "Thank you...thank you for giving me this great gift, and for loving my son the way you do. You are truly a blessing to this family, we love you and don't you ever forget that."

"No, thank you. All of you," I said trying to hold back tears again. "A year ago I was this broken girl, with no meaning in life. I had no family and I thought I'd be alone forever, and now you guys...you welcomed me into your family with open arms and I've never felt love like this before. Not even just from Justin but from both of you. You all gave me something to live for, now I have meaning. And to top it off, I get to bring proof of that love into the world. So thank you for caring about some nobody, and giving me a chance. It means the world to me." Both Lynn and I were wiping away tears, and she threw her arms around me again. This whole hormonal thing on top of me being and emotional mess anyway was going to leave me in tears for a good part of everyday.

"Alright, alright, enough of this love fest," Justin said knowing that we'd both be crying for hours if he didn't break it up, "what about me? I'm your damn son!"

"I love you too sweetheart, I'm very proud of you."

"I love you too Mama, and you too Pops," he said putting his arms around them, "now lets go make dinner so that Ris can rest up before we eat." They agreed showering me with hugs and kisses before walking out and leaving just Justin and I on the bed.

"Sorry I blurted it out but I was hot."

"It's okay...you're allowed to deviate from the plan because your pregnant."

"Thanks, doesn't it feel good to say it out loud to somebody?"

"One of the greatest feelings in the world...I love you."

"I love you too babe," I said leaning forward and kissing him.

"Mmmmm," he said backing away, "If you kiss me any longer I might have to take your clothes off."

"I don't think the doctor would approve of that Mr. Timberlake."

"The doctor can suck it Miss. Mitchell."

"Go make me dinner ya perv."

"Oh I'll make you dinner," he said looking down to the bulge in his pants.

"JUSTIN!"

"Alright alright I'm going," he said getting up and walking towards the door.

"Babe?" He turned around just as he was about to walk out, "It feels really good to be home."

"It's really great to have you home Ris. It feels really good to be a family again."