“Well, I like him,” Mel said as she grabbed another Krispy Kream donut from the box on the table.

       “Of course you like him.”

       “What’s that supposed to mean?”

       “Nothing. It just means he’s hot, so you like him. I just think there’s something seriously wrong with him.”

       “Maybe he’s just a good guy.”

       “He’s a celebrity. He’s not a good guy, that’s an oxymoron. It’s not possible.”

       “Give him a break,” she laughed before reaching for another donut. “I have heard from people that he’s a good guy. You know Jackie that I work with? She worked on one of his videos and she said he was super normal. He was on time and he wasn’t diva at all.”

       “Fine, then what’s the deal with the no fucking?”

       “He didn’t take advantage of your drunk ass. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. He doesn’t want a one-night stand. Lots of people don’t like one-night stands. And then last week you were sick. What do you want him to fuck you while you’re coughing up a lung in his face? Sexy.”

       I laughed before grabbing a donut, my first one for the record, “I don’t expect that, I’ just can’t get over that first night. Why would he say he wanted to go home with me and then drop me off and leave?”

       “Get over it!” Mel laughed, “You’re gorgeous and hard to turn down. You know he wanted to, and he was probably planning on it but then once you got to talking he wanted more than a one-night stand. It’s cute, romantic even.”

       “We weren’t really talking though…”

       “Stop. Seriously. He’s a good guy; you should give him a chance. He stayed with you when you were sick before he even had to. It was your first date; he could have easily said he’d see you some other time. You’re not at the stage yet where you’d expect him to take care of you.”

       “Exactly my point.”

       “So he’s good a guy. You could use a good guy. Hell, I could use a good guy. When I’m sick Kev runs away, literally runs away.”

       “Well, you’re kind of a bitch when you’re sick,” I reminded her with a laugh. It’s true.

       “Fuck you, I am not. And I’m sick because of his devil alien sperm, so the least he could do is sit with me when I feel like shit. And you know what else? I get these fucking cravings,” she said as she stuffed another donut in her mouth, “and he says he’ll go get me shit and he leaves his fucking phone at my place!”

       “He probably forgot it,”

       “He didn’t forget it! He does it on purpose so I don’t call him and tell him I want something else. THEN he fucking takes an hour to get me a fucking Frosty from Wendy’s and a fry from McDonalds.”

       “I know sweetie, it sucks,” I said as I gave her a hug. She been brought to tears over the fact that it takes her boyfriend an hour to go from Wendy’s to McDonalds and back to her place, even though that’s how long it would take. She’s turned into a crazy, emotional pregnant lady and I sure as hell do not ever want to have to deal with this shit and be pregnant.

       “Can’t you just give Justin a chance and go out with him?”

       I laughed at her request through her tears, “I am, I’m not giving up without sex. Come on now, you know me better than that.”

       Mel giggled between her tears, “Do you have any chocolate milk?” she whined.

       “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

       “Why do you have chocolate milk?” she’s not giggling like I’m the crazy one.

       “Jonas goes nuts if I don’t have it.”

       “Oh yeah, Jonas.”

“Oh yeah, Jonas,” I repeated with a chuckle, “You’re absolutely drunk off Krispy Kreme Donuts. Have another one, I’ll go make you some chocolate milk.”

       I know it’s bad but she really has become absolutely fucking crazy ever since the whole being pregnant thing. I get that the hormones screw you up when you’re pregnant but god. That said, she’s been pretty crazy even before she got pregnant. Although, sometimes I do question if she really is carrying the devil’s spawn in her tummy.

She’s even worse than Jonas, and he’s ten.

 As I poured a glass of milk my phone rant. I looked at the caller ID and took a deep breath before answering, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Justin. A couple questions.”

“Hi Justin,” he just goes right into questions? I feel like I’m in trouble.

“Hi Jules,” he chuckled, “How are you?”

“I’m alright, dealing with crazy pregnant lady. How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. You’re feeling better?”

“I am. It was a shit week but I’m back to normal now.”

“Good, I’m glad. Remember when you were supposed to call me when you felt better?”

I laughed before squirting some Hershey’s syrup into the glass of milk, “I don’t call boys.”

“Ever? Alright, I’ll have to remember that,” he chuckled, “Alright, now for my questions.”

“You already asked questions, how many do you have?”

“A couple. It won’t be like an interview, I promise.”

“Go on then.”

“Alright, thanks. Do you own sneakers?”

“Do I own sneakers?” I laughed, “What kind of a question is that?”

“A serious question.”

“Of course I own sneakers.”

“Real sneakers? Without heels?”

“Yes. What do you think I am, crazy?”

“Nah,” he laughed, “I’m just making sure. I mean even your slippers had heels.”

I laughed as I finished stirring up the chocolate milk, “My slippers most definitely do not have heels.”

“They do, but we’ll move on. Next question, do you own a pair of jeans?”

“What do you think I’m this prissy girl that doesn’t own sneakers or jeans?”

“Every time I’ve seen you you’ve been in a dress and you design shoes, not sneakers.”

“You’ve seen me twice! And once I was in sweatpants and slippers.”

“Oh, I’ve seen you more than twice Jules.”

“That’s kinda creepy,” I laughed, he worries me sometimes. “When have you seen me more than twice?”

“Just around, it’s not like I’m hiding in your closet watching you,” he laughed, “You’re changing the subject. You own both sneakers and jeans?”

“Yes, of course.”

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“See, you shouldn’t ask a girl that. You should say what you have in mind before I’m forced into a situation that I don’t want to be forced into.”

He laughed and I could almost see his sexy smile, “you don’t seem like the kind of girl that would be forced into any situation that you don’t want to be forced in to.”

“Very true. So what’s the plan?”

“Paintballing. Have you ever been?”

“Yes,” it’s kind of funny that he thinks I’m this prissy girl that doesn’t do anything fun. “Of course, I’m in. I’ll kick your ass though, I won’t go easy on you.”

“Good, I don’t want you going easy on me.”

“Good, cause I won’t. What time?”

“How about around four? We can go get dinner after?”

“Alright. I have a meeting at two but it should be done by then. I can meet you there?”

“Nah, I’ll come pick you up. Why don’t you call me when you get out?”

“OK, that works.”

“Really? That was easy, I thought I’d have to beg.”

“I’m still a little nervous about your stalking threats.”

“As you should be,” he chuckled, “Alright, I’ll let you get back to your pregnant friend.”

“Yeah, she’s getting impatient.”

“Sorry, tell her I’m sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m excited.”

“OK. Bye Justin.”

“Bye Jules, have a good night.”

I walked back into the living room and handed Mel her chocolate milk, “Hershey’s finest.”

“Thank you. See, Kev never has chocolate milk. You always have everything I want. I should move in with you.”

“Yeah,” I would move out if she moved in, and I say that with love. “Why would Kevin have chocolate milk Mel? You need to tell him you want it and he’ll get it. He can’t read minds.”

“Neither can you. Thanks, this is yummy.”

“Your welcome. Thank Jonas, I wouldn’t have it here either if it weren’t for him.”

“I will. You make really good chocolate milk.”

“Thank you Mel,” I laughed, “Nine years of practice. You know, he would never drink regular milk. After he turned a year old he was over it. We had to start with the chocolate milk then and he’s been addicted ever since.”

“He’s a weird kid.”

“Shut up,” I laughed and tossed a pillow at her, “Go have another donut.”