These meetings are such bullshit because all they do is talk and talk and talk. They think I’m an idiot. I know what I’m doing and people want my shit so stop fucking with me. I hate all the business side of this shit. Just let me make shoes!

“That was… interesting,” Brent said as I drove us back to my place.

“Interesting? They’re fucking idiots,” I laughed, “Complete fucking morons.”

“OK, yeah. Fucking morons. What’s the plan for tonight, Jules?” Brent asked with that smug smile. He knows exactly what the plan is, he’s only asked me about it a hundred times since this morning. I mean really, everyone is so interested. I don’t get it.

“You know very well what my plan for the night is. For you, I don’t know. I’m done with you, go have a good night with your man.”

My phone rang as I drove down my street. “Hey Jonas!”

“Hi.”

He doesn’t sound happy, at all. He tends to call me when he isn’t happy. “How are you doing?”

“Good. No! BAD!”

“What’s the matter?”

“My book! He stole it.”

“Who did?”

“HE did, I told you.”

“Sweetie, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me who he is.”

“Ryan, in my class, he took it.”

“Well did you tell your teacher?”

“Yes!”

“OK, please don’t yell at me,” I said as I pulled into the driveway and saw Justin parked out front. I took a deep breath and tried to deal with Jonas. “What did your teacher say?”

“She said it’s not my book. It’s got lizards. I like lizards. Can I get a lizard? Maybe I should get a lizard.”

“I don’t think that’s going to solve anything sweetie,” I said as I waved at Justin and whispered to him, “I’m sorry, just give me a couple minutes to get changed.”

“Take your time,” he said as he followed me inside.

“Bye Brent, thanks” I said although I know Brent is not going to leave. He’s going to sit there and keep Justin company. He’ll also try to pass it off like he’s doing me a favor when the reality is he’s got a little crush himself.

“So was it your book Jonas?”

“Well, no. It was Ryan’s book.”

“Alright, well then you can’t take it. You can’t get upset when it’s not yours. I’ll get you a lizard book, alright? If you do good in school all week I’ll get you a lizard book when you come see me next Saturday. Does that sound good?”

“No.”

I took a deep breath as I changed into a pair of jeans, “Why don’t you try to be his friend? If Ryan likes lizards and you like lizards then you already have something in common. If you try and be his friend I’m sure he’ll share his book with you.”

“No!”

Jonas kills me sometimes. He’s only ten but he has Aspergers so that gives him so many extra issues, especially in school and any social situation, really. He’s in a special school now with other children in similar situations. I know it’s a big help but it doesn’t seem to be making much of a difference. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one that gets it and doesn’t get annoyed with him. I think he feels that way too since I’m the one he calls whenever anything goes wrong.

“Sweetie, there’s really nothing I can do right now. I’m here and you’re there…”

“You could come here.”

“I can’t, I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.”

“Well then I can come there.”

“You are going to come in a couple days. I can’t wait, I’m so excited.”

“I want to come now.”

“How about we’ll see what tomorrow is like? If you have a bad day and you need to talk you can call me up and I’ll come and take you out for dinner. If you have a good day and you’re happy then I’ll see you next Saturday. OK?”

“Fine.”

“Alright. I’ll see you soon then. I miss you.”

“Fine.”

“Come on Jonas, don’t be like that. You know I’d love to come visit you right now but I can’t.”

“OK. Bye.”

“Bye,” I already heard the phone slam shut before I could even answer. It breaks my heart.

I made my way downstairs to both Justin and Brent sitting on the couch talking. “Hey, I’m sorry about that.”

“No problem. Business I get it.”

“Yeah, business,” I smiled and gave Brent a hug, “Thanks Brent, see you tomorrow.”

“Sure, have fun.”

“Ready?” Justin asked with a smile, “Nice shoes.”

“Thank you,” I laughed as I followed him to his car, “Sneakers, jeans, a sweatshirt, who knew!”

“I’m very impressed, I’ll be honest,” he said as he opened the car door for me. Seriously. He opened the car door for me.  I don’t even know what to do with myself.  “So, you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah, much better. Thank you.  Thanks for coming by, that was nice of you.”

“Of course. I had fun,” he chuckled, “I actually had fun. You were completely messed up after you took your medicine.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“You were,” he laughed, “Completely. You were telling me all about lizards. You know a lot about lizards.”

I laughed as he explained; now I believe him because he said I talked a lot about lizards. That’s completely believable, because of Jonas I know just about everything there is to know about lizards.

“And then you just passed out,” he continued, “I thought something was wrong at first but then you started snoring so…”

“I don’t snore,” I interrupted him. I don’t, so now I know he’s lying.

“You were snoring.”

“I don’t snore so that’s not possible.”

“Why would I make that up?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I don’t know, why?”

“You snore.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you most definitely do. It’s cute.”

“That’s not cute, it’s disgusting and I don’t do it.”

At least Justin finds this whole thing funny. I, on the other hand, do not. “It wasn’t a crazy snoring, it was a nice sweet, delicate flower snoring.” I laughed at how he’s trying to make it sound cute, it’s not and I don’t snore. “People snore when they’re sick, you were all stuffy, it happens.”

“Sure, it happens but not to me because I don’t snore.”

“Alright, I’m sorry. I see I hit a soft spot with the snoring. You do snore, but I won’t mention that again.”

“Thank you, because I don’t.” I laughed, “Anyway, I forgot the movie.”

“It’s alright, I’ll get it later. Did you watch it?” I nodded my head, “Good huh? The ending was crazy.”

“Yeah, it was really good.”

“It was funny because you were sleeping and all crazy snoring and then you started talking in your sleep.”

“Shut up! I did not!” I laughed.

“You did! It’s the meds, completely; I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying I was watching the movie about a mental hospital and here you are lying on the couch sleeping and randomly mumbling about all kinds of stuff.” 

“You’re so full of shit it’s not even funny.”

“First of all it is funny, because you’re laughing. Second of all I’m not full of shit, I’m stating the facts. I should have recorded it.”

“It’s not a fact,” ok so I’m sure it’s possible that it is a fact. Those meds make me a little crazy, I’m aware of that.

“Would I lie to you, Jules?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged as he pulled into the parking lot.

“Well, I wouldn’t.” Justin said looking right into my eyes, “So now you know. I would never lie to you.”

And once again, I’m back to being confused. It’s like things are normal and then he has to go and say something like that and confuse the shit out of me.

“You’ve done this before?” he asked as we changed into our protective gear.

“Uh huh, have you?”

“Yeah, a couple times,” he chuckled, “I shouldn’t go easy on you then?”

“I’m very competitive, don’t you dare go easy on me.”

“Good, I like that,” he smiled and grabbed onto his gun, “Let’s do this.”

Justin ran off before I could even respond. I’m beginning to see that he’s a huge dork and not anything like I thought he’d be like. I’m not saying that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I’m just saying he’s not like I thought he’d be.

I’m kind of scared now, because I’m walking through this whole area and I have no idea where he is. “You’re cheating you know,” I called out hoping he was close enough to even hear me, “I’m supposed to be able to see you, or at least have some idea where you are.”

Of course he didn’t answer, that’d be too simple. Instead, he attacked from the back causing us both to fall to the ground. “You’re cheating!”

“I am not cheating! This is how you play!”

“No, you don’t. You’re not supposed to hide and pop out and knock me down to the ground.”

Justin laughed as he lay on top of me, “I like to play rough.”

“I see that.”

“Right, and you’re so against that.” I laughed but stopped when he started looking at me all funny. He gave me that look guys give you when they’re about to kiss you and slowly moved in.

All right, fine, it was a good kiss. A great kiss. I’m not one of those idiot girls that say she feels something insane from a stupid kiss.

“Good, we got that over with,” he chuckled, “Awkward first kiss, over and done with.”

“That was soo awkward,” I answered sarcastically.

“I know, it was horrible. There goes that whole thing. What a waste of time. Can I get my ginger tea back?”

“No,” I giggled and managed to turn him over so I was on top of him, “Do you know what the problem is though? You never shot me,” I reached down and shot him in the chest, “I won.”

I climbed off him and ran away with him following me close behind, “You’re a cheater, Jules.”

“I am not! That’s how you play!”

Fine.

I admit I had fun. A lot more fun than I thought I would have. He’s actually kind of a good guy, a fun guy. I’m not going to do anything drastic and stupid, I’m just saying he’s kind of cool.

After dinner Justin pulled into my driveway. I really, really, want him now. I thought I wanted him before when I hardly knew him but it’s way more than that now. It’s like I need him. Now.

“So do you want to… come in for a little or are you…”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll come in,” he turned the car off and I felt more excitement than I’ve felt in a long time. “I’ll get the movie and…”

“Some coffee,” I added. We can call it whatever the fuck he wants to call it if it will make him feel better. 

We kind of skipped the coffee. I put it on but we didn’t make it far enough to actually pour it into mugs. Instead, we found ourselves sitting on the couch. Well, he was sitting on the couch, I was straddling his waist. The kisses got deeper and deeper and better and better. I feel like I’m in middle school or something, but I’m actually enjoying the whole making out thing.

I pulled my shirt off before attaching my lips back to Justin’s.  “You’re beautiful,” he said in a whisper.

I giggled. Fucking giggled. Make it stop.

“You’re crazy, awkward, and beautiful,” he said with a chuckle before laying me on the couch and lying on top of me, moving his hand o massage my breasts.

“You’re the awkward one,” I laughed, ok, it was probably another giggle as I slid my hand to his zipper.

That’s when he pulled away.

“I should probably get going…”

“No!” I screamed, “No! Are you serious?”

“I know,” he chuckled, “Believe me I know.”

“Then what’s the problem? What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you Jules.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

He laughed, “Nothing. Why does there have to be something wrong with one of us?”

“Because we.. uh, I …” I can’t even form words.

“I’m just trying…”

“You’re trying this new thing. I know, this new fucking thing that’s supposed to do what? We’ve been out three times, that’s completely normal. Third date equals sex, that’s like normal for a prude.”

Justin chuckled, “I’d say this is more like the first date. The other two don’t really count.”

“There’s obviously something wrong with you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Why can’t we just fuck and then you can try this new thing on the next girl?”

“Well, the point of the whole thing is that there won’t be a next girl.”

My mouth dropped open, what? No seriously, what? I grabbed my shirt and pulled it back on. Fuck this.

“OK, wait. I shouldn’t have said that,” he continued, “Most girls would like a guy to say something like that but you’re obviously not like most girls. I don’t mean anything by it Jules, I’m just trying this new thing, I don’t know what else to say.”

“You’re wasting your time if you think I’m going to be this girl that’s going to be the last one you date and you’re going to marry and have kids with and a white picket fence and live happily ever after. It’s not going to happen. I can promise you it’s not going to happen.”

“Alright.” He said as he stood up, “I’m sorry I said anything, I don’t mean anything by it. I don’t want to scare you away, that’s the last thing I want to do.”

“I’m not scared. Of anything. I’m just telling you you’re wasting your time.”

“Alright. Fair enough. I had fun today.”

“I did too.”

“When can I see you again?”

“I don’t know Justin. I’m really busy with everything.”

“Alright,” he nodded his head. He looks confused but fuck that I’m confused too. How can he say something like that? For fucks sake we hung out twice and now he’s talking shit about there not being another girl.  “Well call me sometime… or I’ll call you.”

“OK.”

“Alright. Can I get a hug?” he chuckled as he hugged me, “Awkward hug, for real this time. I swear I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Alright. Bye Justin.”