Justin had been staring at the small brown vile for four hours now. He’d managed to sneak some Oxy in by slitting a hole in his jacket and stuffing it deep into the seam. He’d meant for it to be for emergencies only but with all of what had been going on, on top of the withdrawal…things seemed too hard to bear. He’d come to the basement bathroom to get toked but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He swore into the air and got up from the bathroom floor. Placing the vile inside his jacket, he headed back upstairs, making sure no one saw where his hiding place was.
As for the picture, well, normally he would have found those bastards and fucked them up but he’d already screwed up enough for one lifetime. He wasn’t going to get into a fight and let his group down again. Besides, these four hours had been a great time to re-center himself. New attitude, new goals, etc. There was only two days before the week was over and he got to see his family on visiting day. He’d gone seven days without Oxy and gotten through the first four levels of hell in the process and he’d be damned if he didn’t get through the last three.
It was 12:30 when he got back to his room. 12:30 equaled after lights out so he made sure to be quiet when opening the door. “Sneaking around after hours Pop Star?” Corky said smugly.
“Fuck off Corky. I’m not in the mood,” Justin said and shrugged his coat off.
“That picture didn’t really bother you did it? Aww. Poor baby. Well I’m sure you had a nice long cry.”
“Corky,” Justin said and climbed into bed. “I said fuck off. That includes being quiet, minding ya bidness and shutting the FUCK up.”
He covered himself up with the sheet and moved his ankle so it wouldn’t kill quite so much. He smiled to himself. “Minding ya bidness”, he hadn’t talked like that in years and to relapse into that felt weird. He shook his mind of it and a few minutes later, fell into a dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The strings on Justin’s guitar sent a lazy A chord ringing through the room as he waited for his friends and family to arrive. He wanted to play the song he’d been working on for them but they had to show up first. The clock on the wall read 2:45. Even if they showed up that second he’d only have 15 minutes with them. He strummed another A chord to replace the other one that had faded away.
Justin’s face lit up when he spotted JC leading everyone through the common room door. It took a second for them to locate him but as soon as they did, it was on. “JUSTIN!” JC said and gave his friend a one handed hug. “How are ya?”
Justin gave him a look for distress. “Let’s just say the name of the song I’ve been working on is S-O-S.”
JC laughed. “That good?”
They all sat down surround him. Lance, Joey, JC and Lynn were all there. “No Brit?” he asked softly and allowed his smiled to fade a bit.
Lynn rubbed his knee. “We tried honey but…well I’m sure you understand how she feels.”
He took a breath. “Yea.”
“If it matters J, she wrote you a letter,” Joey said and handed him a pale pink envelope. Characteristic of Britney.
“Thanks Joe.”
Justin shook his head and mind of Britney, at least for the time being. He didn’t want her to see him this way anyhow.
“So, you wrote a song?” Lance asked, trying to loosen the mood.
“Yup.”
“Well ja’mon then,” JC voiced, doing his best impression of Chris Tucker.
“Well it’s not done yet but it’s called ‘Faithful’.
He began his song, putting everything, all of the emotions that had been held up during the past week into the words and at the songs climax, he stopped, opening his eyes. “That’s all I have.”
“That’s great so far,” Lynn said and applauded him silently.
He hadn’t noticed before but, a good amount of people had congregated around his party. “I’m sorry,” Justin said sheepish. “I didn’t mean to disturb you guys.” He leaned to Lance, “ They hate me so much,” he whispered.
“They do not.”
A mother spoke up. “No, it was great.” Upon further inspection she realized who he was. “Oh!” she said, a little louder than she’d wanted to. “Can you hold on?”
“I’m not going anywhere…”
A few minutes later she came back with her daughter who couldn’t have been older than eight years old. “Would you mind signing an autograph? It’s so nice of you guys to come and sing for these kids, it’s so hard breaking yourself of an addiction, I’m sure they need a little music in here.”
Justin blushed. “Well actually…”
“Visiting hour is over.” A volunteer announced. Justin scribbled his name on a sheet of paper along with Joey, JC and Lance and kissed his mother goodbye. One hour hadn’t been nearly enough, especially since they hadn’t been there for the whole thing. He sighed and gathered his things. He could almost smell the skin on his back singe from all of the hot glares he received from other inpatients as he made his way quickly back to his room. He couldn’t wait to read Britney’s letter.
As soon as he’d returned his guitar to it’s semi-hiding place, he broke the seal on the pink envelope that held Britney’s message.
“Stinky,” he read and broke into a wide smile.
“I heard about what happened and I’m so sorry.
I don’t want to sound like a bitch when I say this but I knew this was going to happen.
I love you dearly J but you realize that when I am with you, I feel like a third wheel.
It’s you, your drugs and me.
But the really screwed up part is that I don’t know which you’re happier to be with.
I hope that the program will help you overcome your addiction.
I know you wanted me to come visit but the truth is, I don’t know if I would have survived seeing you.
You’ve been my protector, my best friend and my stronghold since we met and to see something as small as a pill break you would rip my heart to shreds.
I hope you can understand.
I love you and we’ll see, after rehab, where and if our relationship stands.
Always and forever, Pinky.”
Not the exact words Justin had wanted, or expected to read , however, her message didn’t surprise him. Justin reached for his album and brought it to his lap. He opened it to the section he’d designated for pictures of him and Britney. And soaked her in until he felt his heart would explode. His favorite picture was on of them in Hawaii. They were ankle deep in the clear waters of the Pacific Ocean just looking into each other’s eyes, knowing that they were meant for each other. That statement still held true for him but he wasn’t so sure if Britney still felt the same way. He sighed, leaned back on his bed and laid the album across his chest. He had kind of been expecting the letter to say something to this effect and had prepared for it; so, why did it hurt so badly?
Story Tags: rehab
