Do you have one of those incredibly annoying family members, who you can’t stand? You know the ones, the ones that come to every family gathering carrying their video camera. Trying to get everyone and their momma’s on film. So annoying that you don’t have a choice but to excuse yourself from the gathering all together, even if it means facing the wrath of your parents, for being rude.

That was Trace personified that year. Everywhere we went, he had that fucking camera. (pardon my French) It was a very traumatic time in my life, our lives. At least the camera being shoved in my face every five seconds, was. (I believe there is footage of those months somewhere online. So I hear, I haven’t checked it out. And I probably won’t.) I don’t understand his fixation, MTV didn’t want footage of me, they wanted Justin. Then again, Justin likes to mess with their heads, having them beg. (He’s such a moron, yet it works. Didn’t you see the thousands of special they did on him for Justified?)

For the rest of the time when the camera wasn’t shoved in my face, I loved Virginia Beach. It was awesome.

I remember that Justin started working on ‘Like I love you’ the moment we got to that studio. It was so much fun watching him and Pharrell interact, coming up with lyrics at the spur of the moment.

That was the year Jeremy hurt his shoulder for good and was officially done with football. He was really devastated those months prior to that trip to Virginia with Justin. It was our last semester of college and he was done with football as a career because no one in the National Football League wanted a quarterback with a dislocated shoulder. Did you know that you could permanently dislocate your shoulder, as in it will never be the same? I didn’t know that, I thought that he would heal and he would be back to sailing those footballs across the field. Jeremy didn’t think it was possible either, until his doctor cancelled out football from his life.

I comforted him in any way that I could that year. Until eventually he came to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t play football again, professionally. The trip to Virginia helped a lot, with his self-esteem. (If you would ever see Jeremy, you wouldn’t think he had a self-esteem problem at all. The man is talented, smart and drop dead gorgeous.)

Jeremy had the CEO of ESPN personally call him to offer him a job shortly after that. He’d gone to Atlanta, where the football conferences were being held again, to start his interview process. He took several trips there, during the time we were in Virginia and I was proud of him. I really was. Looking back now, makes me realize how naïve I was about him. He never once asked me to come with him. Hmm.

Everything’s changed now, though.

Please tell me you didn’t like Cameron for Justin. Please. Because if you liked the idea of Justin dating his mother, then click out of this page, right now.

You still there? Good.

Jesus, I don’t know what he was thinking. Cameron Diaz? I really wished he just wanted to speak Spanish. Or that, that kiss she planted on him unexpectedly at the Kids Choice Awards, was a booty call of some sort. I would have been fine with that. (I knew my best friend was a horndog.) Apparently that wasn’t it because he stayed with her, the longest. (Eww, she’s so gross.) I’m not just saying that as his current future, but as his best friend. There’s only so much a best friend can support another in, ya know? What was he thinking? I said that already, didn’t I? The old bag doesn’t even have what Justin likes to call a ‘fat ass’. Most guys that go for older chicks is because the woman is hot. (i.e. Ashton and Demi) In my opinion (back then) he should have stayed with Alyssa. Yeah I know. She’s older too, but she was cute. You know you prefer Sam (Who’s the boss?) over Cameron, any day.

Seriously, how do you go from Britney Spears to Ca-nt-walk-cause-I’m-old-Diaz?

Quisas fue mi culpa, pero como diablo yo iba a saber? ( Sorry, I get real bilingual at times. Here’s the translation: So maybe it’s part my fault but how the fuck was I supposed to know?) Anyway….

Have you heard that Charlie Wilson track? It’s pretty hot and yes I know you probably think I’m the most clueless human being on earth. (I was clueless, I guess) I’m digressing, anyway, the song is called ‘Floatin’ and you should go search for it. I’m not saying, go and download it for free cause that’s illegal. (wink-Justin and Charlie have already made enough money on it. so go download it-wink) I should have known that song wasn’t about Cameron because I know my friend, he didn’t love her, he was going through a phase. He didn’t see much of his mother that year, I believe he was channeling Lynn through Cameron. He missed his mommy, big pussy he is.

As you read, those memories are of Justin harassing me about recording an album and becoming the star he thought I was. I’m going to be completely  honest with you because that’s just how I do, ya know. I wanted to record that album, I wanted to sing, I wanted to jump on that stage but I did not, not once, dream of becoming the star Justin wanted me to be.

I already had a ‘star’ in my life that consumed me. (in a good way) So why become one?

Once Justin got Trace started on that idea, there was no stopping the topic. Have I mentioned that Trace can be very annoying? I think I did. I’m glad they both annoyed the hell out me, though. My life took a turn for the (even) better because they didn’t quit.

I just realized, Lynn skipped the whole hoopla of Justified, the Justin Timberlake album. To say that I was proud of him would be an understatement. All those songs that told every emotion he felt, were incredible. Did I take the time to read into songs like, Like I Love You, Senorita, Nothing Else and Take It From Here ? No, I didn’t. Why should I have? He was (is) my best friend. Why would you think your best friend loved you? Like love, love you? Don’t judge me!! I was busy worrying about the hurt ‘Never Again’ was going to cause my friend, Britney.

Oh my god, have you ever been to Justin’s house? Wait, what the hell am I saying? Of course you’ve never been. Sometimes I forget who he is. Anyway, if you ever get a chance to go to Justin Timberlake’s house, for one of my famous pool parties (I love to have them), you should take the invite. I’ve met a few fans who have made their way into these little gathering by the pool I like to have, so don’t think it’s not possible. Someone always knows someone, who knows someone, who knows Trace, Justin and I, in someway or another. It might be a hundred people in association but you might just make it to one of my pool parties at the house. Good Luck!!!

He was speechless? Wow, that must have been something he shared with Lynn (not his momma, the other one) because he’s never mentioned anything about that white bikini. The white bikini that I am very aware, was perfect on me. Don’t hate!! So again, I’m going to share a secret with you. I saw Justin staring, that’s not the secret though. the secret is that I liked it for a brief five seconds before I made my drunk comment. I only have a Smirnoff Ice that night, so I wasn’t tipsy. Lynn was wrong. Seriously though, I’ve seen my best friend, he’s not bad on the eyes at all. If anything he’s a vision of perfection at times. Justin Timberlake, bare-chested, wet, lazy drunken blue orbs staring at you in a Jacuzzi. How would you feel? Would it be the worst thing that happened to you? I’m his best friend, the fact doesn’t make me blind to the fact that he’s drop dead gorgeous.

Besides, Jeremy was going  into a ‘meeting’ and cut me short on the phone that night. I needed some attention.

And Trace, Eww!!!!

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Homegirl (Remix #2)

She was only nine years older than me. Why can’t she get over it? Let it go? It’s over now. Just to prove her wrong, let me just point out that Demi is way older than Ashton. She didn’t have a problem with them being a couple, now did she?

I don’t even know why Cameron was even brought up in the first place. She wasn’t a big part of my life, she was someone to do while I grew some balls and told a certain someone how I felt. Yes, I realize that it was a shitty thing to do but this whole thing we’re doing is about honesty, so take it or leave it. Cameron was hot and available, I wasn’t going to turn it down while I watched the Reyes-Owens spectacle.

Tell me. Didn’t Amanda sound a bit jealous there about Cameron? Didn’t she sound bitter? I wonder.

Don’t go download music off the Internet. It’s bad!! I can’t believe she would suggest such a thing. Wait until she realizes that people are bootlegging her album as well. See how she reacts to that.

Fuck!! I wanted to cut this remix short without having to talk about Jeremy but it’s not happening. (Amanda says I must because without my input, this thing wouldn’t be complete. She was trying to be all sweet and sexy when she said too but I know it’s her way of manipulating me.)

I really was sad to hear that Jeremy wouldn’t be able to play football anymore. I really was. Honestly. For real. Why you laughing? I’m serious. I felt so bad that I made (well I had Trace make a few phone calls. Cost me ten thousand dollars. Favors from Trace in regards to Jeremy, aren’t cheap) a few phone calls. Do you really believe ESPN wanted him as a new sports commentator? A senior in college? Come on now, who else has ESPN connections? Who plays on an ESPN hosted NBA Celebrity team? Yeah. (the things I do for this girl.)

On that note, I’m out. The game is over. We won!! Big surprise there.

Trace and I are going out for some food and beer. (he’s suck an alckie) Amanda says the next track she wants to do on her own, so talk to you later.

Kisses, Justin. (I’m a  pimp, I tell ya. P.I.M.P.)

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Homeboy (Remix #3)

I’m pleading the fucking fifth on this one.

Maybe later. Right now I’m hungry and thirsty.

Who drank all the beer, anyway?

Peace.