This is the part where you can agree with me, that I was an idiot. Go ahead, say it. Amanda Reyes is an idiot. Believe me I have heard myself saying that once or twice. You’re thinking for someone with a college degree, that I must have slept through my classes, huh? So dumb. A state of denial is probably the best way to describe my life. Wouldn’t you agree? (You can agree this time.)

The bitterness toward Justin from Jeremy came from him finding out that Justin had worked his charm on ESPN to hire him. Rightfully so, but Justin had the best intentions. Justin didn’t know that ESPN would cause a big break in all our lives. (Not such a good break, at first.) And honestly if Jeremy was so embarrassed about he fact that his best friend had gotten him a job, then why didn’t he quit? Of the top of my head I can give you one reason. Take a wild guess what that was. (Here’s a clue: whore.)

Yes, I admit that I was a sucker for Jeremy that day at his office. I really did miss him that week that Trace, Justin and I spent in Tennessee. You have to understand that Jeremy was all I knew as love. (I thought) I believed him when he told me that I should not worry about anything. I really did. Nevertheless, he lied.

I guess you can say that was a mistake on my part. (Yeah go ahead, call me an idiot again.)

The fact that Justin could talk to my cousin about his feelings, while I was in denial, comforts me. The pain and hurt that he had to be experiencing basically every day, is something I regret. Yes, I should have paid closer attention to him, his touches (the ones he gave on the low.), his words, his looks but it was Justin. My best friend.

The bitches calling each other bitches is hilarious, isn’t it? And yes I take full responsibility for taking Justin’s ‘pimp appeal’. He still thinks and acts like a pimp, when I’m not around, (I have snitches everywhere. Kidding!!) and when he’s around you, his fans. But let me tell you a little secret. Justin Timberlake is a bitch. At least as far as I come in.

Oh by the way, Jeremy’s mom is under the impression that I ruined her son’s life. She’s a bitch, always has been. So I choose not to deal with her. And his dad, well his dad has always been an asshole.

I’m going to cut this really short because the next track should be interesting and a bit stressful if I do say so myself. I should take a break.

The boys should be back shortly. I need to go do a five-minute interview over the phone before they get here. Justin and Trace have this annoying habit of cutting into my interviews, making the fans think they are hilarious and cute. It’s really annoying and disturbing to me. Sometimes I don’t see what you see in them. They make a five-minute interview into hours. I hate interviews but Johnny says they are necessary. What I say to these interviewers, (we like to call them vultures) is ‘listen to my album’. You’ll find everything you need to know about me. Ohh and the first question out of their mouths, is something along the lines of, How is Justin doing? My answer? Who that? I thought this interview was about me. And then they ask ‘So why does Justin Timberlake call you Jojo? My answer to that is, I don’t know, he’s been calling me that since we were eight. In all honesty I know why. (you will too, eventually. Maybe. We’ll see what Lynn does.) Don’t get the wrong idea, I rather talk about Justin than myself any day but I like messing with people’s heads. Justin taught me well, it’s pretty funny actually.

Talk to you later. (See what he has me doing?)