Homeboy Memoirs .... Track Nine (Never Say Goodbye) Track Nine (Never Say Goodbye)

Club: Club Mood
Location: Los Angeles

The music played loudly, as she swayed to the right, down and back up. The man behind her, enjoying the grinding against his groin, held onto her hips tightly. She felt great, she felt free, and she felt numb. She didn’t push the man’s hands away, when they traveled to her behind, instead smiled up at him with a wink. He was attractive, she couldn’t deny that, but she wasn’t drunk enough to even pretend he was going to get lucky, either. Despite the fact that she barely wore any clothes, she wasn’t a whore. She respected herself, which made her wave over her head at the guy, as she walked away when she was done dancing, at least with him.

The past week had been full of club nights, one club after the other. Her two best friends following suit, at her request.

Making her way toward the stairs to the VIP area, she stumbled over a step and laughed at her clumsiness. Adjusting the strapless shirt she wore, she made her way through the bridge-like walkway over the dance floor toward the VIP area.

“Where’s Trace?” Justin yelled over the music, looking around the club once he’d spotted her. He’d opted to stay in the VIP area, to avoid pictures and rumors, sending Trace with her to the dance floor.

“I don’t know!!” Amanda shrugged. “He was down there for a while, but I think some red head got his attention.” she said with a laugh.

“And where were you?” Justin asked.

“On the dance floor. Where did you think I was?”

“He left you down there by yourself?”

“I’m a big girl, Justin. Relax!!” she said wrapping her arms around his neck, causing Justin to jump back a bit.

“How many drinks have you had?” Justin asked as she stood there in front of him, her arms wrapped around his neck, swaying to the music playing below. He tried breathing calmly when she turned in front of him and started dancing in front of him. He cautiously started dancing with her, trying not to touch her. The fact of the matter was, that when Amanda had come down from her room, he’d wanted to hide. It was like the moment Jeremy was out of the picture; his senses became working on constant overload.

“I lost count.” Amanda giggled a few minutes later. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked noticing how tense he was, as they went to sit down on the plush leather couch, in a dark area of the VIP lounge.

“Nothing.” Justin said trying to move on the other side of the couch without offending her. The alcohol he’d consumed combined with the fact that he hadn’t had sex in quite a while, made him squirm. The last thing he needed was for Amanda to touch him even in the most platonic way, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to help himself. “Are you ready to go?”

“Why? Are you?” Amanda asked taking a shot from the cocktail waitress that walked by.

“Whenever you’re ready, Jo. This was your night out.” Justin said accepting a shot from the cocktail waitress as well.

“Do this shot with me and then we can go,” she slurred.

She got up from the couch, her shot in one hand, as she straddled Justin’s lap. Justin’s quick intake of air went unnoticed by Amanda. It shouldn’t have alarmed him but the action surprised him, nonetheless. It wasn’t the first time she’d ever done that in his life and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. Whenever she would try to talk to him or Trace and neither wanted to listen, she made sure she had their attention. She called it face-to-face talk; Trace and Justin called it annoying.

Justin couldn’t find the feeling of annoyance though because Amanda was wearing a very short skirt. Although drunk she managed to scoot the skirt on each side, with her left hand, preserving her modesty. However, in the darkened area he could still see the three quarters of her thighs that weren’t covered by her denim skirt. He was three seconds from touching her there, and then all hell would break loose. Fortunately for him, her and their friendship, Trace chose that moment to make his entrance.

“Somebody is drunk.” He said in a singsong voice followed with a laugh, looking at Justin. Justin gave him a wide-eyed look while mouthing, ‘help me’ at him, which made him laugh.

“Primo mio!!” Amanda yelled. “Come have a shot with us!” she said jumping off Justin, making him grunt. “Hey!!” she yelled at the cocktail waitress, who immediately came to her with the tray full of shots.

“What is it?” Trace said taking a glass and bringing it to his nose.

“I think that’s a lemon drop, Trace.” The cocktail waitress said with a smile.

“Tanya, right?” Trace asked the waitress with a raised brow.

“Tara,” she said with a seductive smile directed toward him. She took a piece of paper from the back pocket of her skin-tight jeans and handed it to him. “Call me again sometime.”

“You bet.” Trace said watching her walk away. “Damn.”

“You’re such a whore.” Amanda laughed as she pulled him toward the couch. Pushing him onto the couch, she sat sideways on his lap, while stretching her bare legs on Justin’s lap. “To being single, boys.” she said lifting her glass to her best friends.

“Amen.” Trace said before all three of them took the shot glass to their mouths, making the liquid disappear.

-----------
Club: Coyote Ugly
Location: New York

The drinks were never-ending. One after another, she drank and drank. If the huge bodyguards standing below her weren’t there, a woman in her state of inebriation would be in a lot of trouble.

“That’s enough, Amanda.” Lonnie said to her, grabbing her tiny waist and lifting her off the bar to help her walk toward the VIP area.

“Stop being such a bore, Lon.” Amanda said resting her head on his right arm as they walked. Towering over her like a statue, Lonnie shook his head. “What has gotten into you?”

“I’m single, Lon,” she said with a smile. “Hey Eric, can you get me a rum and coke?” she said to the other guard over the loud music.

“Negative.” Eric stated, pushing people out of the way, as they walked through the crowded club.

“You suck!” Amanda said pushing away from Lonnie, walking ahead of them, pushing people over herself. “Where’s Justin?” she asked Trace once she made it to the VIP lounge.

“Have fun?” Trace asked sipping his drink, his left arm draped over Elisha’s shoulder.

“Yeah, that was fucking hot!!” Amanda said forgetting that she was looking for Justin to complain about his staff. “Too bad they have to let other bitches dance on the bar. I could be there all night.”

“You practically were, girl!” Elisha said with a laugh, drinking from her glass.

“I was, wasn’t I?” she giggled. “Where’s Justin?”

“Bathroom.” Trace said.

“Again?”

“What do you mean, again? Last time you came up here, was over an hour ago,” Trace said. “He has to drain it every hour to consume more, Manda.”

“You done causing a ruckus?” Justin said coming into the room a few seconds later.

“I wasn’t causing a ruckus,” Amanda said sitting on the red couch in between Lonnie and Eric. “I was having fun.”

“Too much.” Lonnie said from next to her.

“No one asked you,” Amanda said with a roll of her eyes, shoving his arm, only to be put in a headlock by Lonnie.

“Aren’t you glad you wore jeans tonight?” Elisha said while everyone laughed at Amanda’s attempt to get out of Lonnie’s grip. “You would have showed the whole club your business.”

“And no one needs to see that.” Trace said jokingly, but meaning every word.

“I agree.” Justin said climbing on top of Lonnie to remove his arms from Amanda, causing a fit of laughter to erupt between the friends. Finally released from the burly man’s arms, Amanda stood with disheveled hair, adjusting her top with a huff.

“Pick on someone your own size, Lon!!”

“Don’t be touching me, crazy girl.” Lonnie said with a laugh. “Your hero here saved you this time. You’re lucky.”

“He is my hero, isn’t he?” Amanda said giving Justin puppy eyes, as everyone ohhed and ahhed at her. “Thank you for saving me, my knight in blinging armor,” she said dramatically with a loving smile before laughing at her own joke.

“That’s what I’m here for, Jo,” he said with a laugh as he put his arm around her. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah, fuck it!! My legs can’t take any more dancing.”

“Stop cursing, Jo.” Justin warned. “Let’s go.”

--------
Club: Ghostbar at Palms
Location: Las Vegas

She was hot and sweaty. Her head was spinning out of control. Arms seemed to be everywhere as she swayed to the music. And she couldn’t remember how many drinks, she’d had. She was sure that she’d only had two, since she’d gotten there. One that Justin had brought to her and one that she’d gotten downstairs at the bar. She could faintly see her best friend across the VIP lounge, a look of pure anger as he yelled something to his bodyguard. He looked over at her and their eyes met; she smiled at him waving for him to come over. Eric tried to talk to Justin again but Justin only shrugged his arms off his and made his way through the cramped VIP area toward her.

Seeing Justin headed toward her, a pissed off look on his face, Amanda left the guys she was dancing with to meet him half way.

“We’re leaving.” Justin simply said as he took her by the arm, to lead her across the room to the stairs.

“Why?” Amanda asked as she stumbled across the room. “I don’t feel too good, homeboy.”

“Let’s get you out of here and upstairs, Jojo.” Justin said as they headed out of the club, Lonnie and Eric following behind. Justin was glad there weren’t paparazzi around because Amanda was clinging to him as they made their way to the elevator.

“Why?” Amanda asked, trying to keep her eyes focused on him.

“Some guy slipped something in your drink, while you were down at the bar. ALONE.” Justin said looking hard at Eric. “The bartender heard some guys talking about it and told Eric.”

“What?!” Amanda asked in shock. “Is that why my head is spinning? Son of a bitch!!”

“Try not to pass out yet, Jo.” Justin said when she rested her head on his arm as the rode the elevator. “You’re gonna have to force yourself to vomit, okay?”

“Okay.” she said quietly.

“Go find Trace and Elisha. Tell them that we are up here, so they don’t worry.” Justin sneered at Eric. “Can you two do that, Lonnie?”

“No problem,” Lonnie said worriedly. “She’ll be alright, J.”

“Yeah, I know. Now that she’s with me and not left out of sight!” Justin snapped, slamming the door to the Real World suite on the guards faces.

“It’s not his fault, Justin.” Amanda said sitting on one of the kitchen’s stools. “I ditched him.”

“They are paid not to let you ditch, Amanda! What were you thinking?”

“Why you yelling at me?! I didn’t do anything wrong.” Amanda tried to yell, although her body was threatening to shut down.

“Something could have happened to you.” Justin said more calmly. “Do you know how scary that is? Do you know how crazy that would make me? Not to mention, Trace.”

“I’m fine, Justin.” Amanda said getting up and hugging his waist like a child.

“You need to throw up.” Justin said pulling her toward the bathrooms.

“Whatever you say, homeboy,” Amanda mumbled. “But can you carry me?”

“Don’t pass out yet, Jojo.” Justin warned as he picked her up, carrying her toward the bathrooms.

“I’m not.”

“Good.”

“Thank you, Justin.”

“For what?”

“For loving me.” her words made Justin stop in his tracks, to look down at her. Her eyes were closing lazily, her head resting against his chest. He knew she wasn’t talking about love, as in the way he loved her but the words still squeezed his heart.

“What?”

“You love me, don’t you? I love you, so you have to love me. It’s a rule.” Amanda mumbled before passing out.

“Believe me, Jo. That’s a rule I’ve been following all my life.” Justin whispered, kissing her forehead as he took her to her room.

-----------------

Club: Club Paris
Location: Orlando

Justin clenched his teeth in agony. His hands were on each of her hips as she swayed to the rhythm of Sean Paul’s Gimme the light. His vision had been hazy and he’d been enjoying himself, sitting at the VIP lounge, watching her. He had been completely content in sitting there, having a few drinks, watching a few people dancing right outside their private VIP lounge. Justin was tired of the constant partying but his best friend wanted to do just that. Partying every night of the week and waking up regretting they each didn’t have that last drink. He knew that if his family and especially his mother knew that he’d picked up the lifestyle of a rock star, she’d be disappointed in him. But he was trying to help his best friend, his everything, cope with her present situation, heartbreak. In the end, he knew his mother would understand, at least he hoped.

Amanda dance just outside the VIP lounge, surrounded by a group of people who didn’t seem to care who he was, or opted to leave him alone. He knew the latter was the case because the women in the lounge kept eyeing him, whispering things to each other, and looking at him like they wanted to eat him up. The hat that came low on his head obviously didn’t hide who he was but he was glad they couldn’t see his eyes rolling when they gave him come hither looks. Eventually Amanda grew tired of dancing by herself and had gotten him off the couch, despite his protests.

That had been three songs earlier, and he was tired. Not physically tired, but tired of watching his hands, watching how close he got to her, keeping his body temperature normal. He cursed the person who’d created a Reggae Night, because he was in hell. Completely oblivious that Justin was in a physical constraint, Amanda shimmied and rubbed herself on him repeatedly.

“Hey Jo, I think we should take a break,” Justin said in her ear, ignoring the fact that although sweaty from dancing, he could still smell her intoxicating perfume. The one that she’d worn since forever and the one that drove him crazy since then.

“K, I’m going to the baño,” Amanda said with a smile. “I’ll be right back.”

“Lonnie will go with you.” Justin said signaling Lonnie, who stood at the entrance of the VIP lounge.

“Stop treating me like a child, Justin.” Amanda snapped. Justin’s apparent shock at her attitude went unnoticed. “I’m not, you know. I’m a woman.”

“Oh I know, believe me.” Justin said adjusting his jeans before he sat on the couch, taking his long forgotten drink, glad that it remained cold.

“What does that mean?” Amanda asked standing in front of him, hands on her hips, trying to remain upright, while her head spun.

“It means I agree that you are a woman. A woman who will have Lonnie waiting for her outside the bathroom or the baño, whichever language you choose,” Justin chuckled. “Trace isn’t here so I’m looking out for you a little extra tonight.”

“I have to pee.” Amanda said waving him off and pushing Lonnie to the side when she walked by, causing her side to be pinched by his enormous fingers as he followed her.

A few minutes later Amanda returned, only Lonnie was carrying her. Justin jolted out of the couch, surprising the three women who’d magically made their way to his couch.

“What happened?” he asked alarmed.

“She’s lazy.” Lonnie said with a chuckle. Amanda turned her head from Lonnie’s chest, a big grin on her face.

“That’s not funny, Jo.” Justin said as Lonnie put her down in front of him.

“I thought it was,” she laughed while pointing at his face. “You should have seen your face.”

“You’re beyond drunk cause you wouldn’t purposely do some shit like that while you’re sober.” Justin said shaking his head with a laugh as she stood in front of him making childish faces at him. “Don’t do that shit.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Amanda said brushing him off. “I really am drunk and I can’t wait to pass out. You ready?”

“You want to leave?” Justin asked surprised.

“Yeah.” Amanda said getting her purse from the couch.

“The wild child wants to leave?” Justin teased. “But I thought she liked getting drunk, dancing and passing out.”

“It’s getting old.” Amanda said followed by a burp. “Eww, that was gross.”

“You were throwing up weren’t you?” Justin continued to tease as they started heading toward Lonnie by the door.

“No.”

“Liar.” Justin said with a chuckle, finishing off his drink as he exited the lounge. Passing by the bar just outside the lounge, he placed three one hundred dollar bills on the bar along with his glass.

“I can’t wait to get home,” Amanda whined while resting her head on Justin’s arm as they walked toward the black Suburban waiting for them outside the club, Eric on the driver’s seat.

“Oh, here they come.” Lonnie said as a group of paparazzi crossed the street, realizing that Justin Timberlake had just exited the club.

“Great.” Justin said pushing Amanda into the car and jumping in right as the group of cameras began to flash.

“Fuckers!” Amanda said as they drove away.

“Don’t curse, Jo,”

“Shut up, homeboy,” she mumbled as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Are we done, Jo?”

“Are we done what?”

“Are we done with this every night thing?”

“It hasn’t been every night, Justin,” she said softly. “I’m so drunk right now.”

“Practically every night.” Justin said with his eyes closed. “I’m a little intoxicated myself.”

“I know,” Amanda giggled.

“So?”

“So what?”

“Are you ready to talk now?”

“No.”

“Okay, that’s fine. But can you please say we are done partying for a while. I can’t keep up with you. I need at least a week to recover.” Justin grumbled.

“You’re a sorry excuse for a rock star, Justin.” Amanda slurred.

“You love me.” Justin stated followed by a yawn.

“I know.” Amanda said as she fell to sleep.

Two hours later Justin opened his eyes to darkness. Recognizing the large television screen, as his own, he slowly opened his eyes wider. He was lying on his couch, face down, body halfway off the plush sofa. After slowly crawling up onto the couch, he let his eyes adjust to the darkness. He still felt slightly dizzy from his drinking but he could clearly see Amanda on the other couch. Apparently, she hadn’t been able to hold her body up on the couch, because she was passed out on the floor. The picture made him smile and he knew he couldn’t miss the opportunity in front of him. Reaching for his cell phone in his jean pockets, he retrieved his cell phone. He hoped the flash on the device didn’t wake her up. The thought made him laugh softly because he knew she was passed out and wouldn’t wake. After snapping a few pictures from where he sat, he decided that they both needed to go to bed, where it would be more comfortable.

He was surprised at himself as he lifted her into his arms without stumbling. Knowing the floor plan of the house perfectly, he avoided turning on lights as he made his way upstairs. Thanking god that her room was on the second floor, he made his way inside. After gently placing her on the bed, he sat on the edge of it looking down at her. A few minutes passed before he decided he needed to go to his room before he snuggled up next to her uninvited.

Leaning down to kiss her forehead, he felt her stir. Inches from her face he watched her for a few seconds before her head lifted. Justin froze as her lips met his, a course of shockwaves coursed through his body. Her lips remained on his, her eyes closed and Justin didn’t know what to do. Unintentionally he moved his lips to speak, only they moved against hers and suddenly her arms were around his neck. Trying to move his lips to speak, to wake her up, he found himself softly kissing her. He knew she must have been asleep and she wouldn’t even remember in the morning but the feel of her lips on his were his undoing. He’d imagined what those perfect lips felt like for over a century.

Her lips were soft and he did everything in his power not to part them with his tongue. Amanda although asleep, didn’t think the way he did because her lips parted and her tongue traced his bottom lip making him grunt. He needed to stop her actions before he felt her tongue on his because if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He was in a state of shock; he couldn’t believe that she’d just kissed him. What was even more ego bashing was the fact that she was asleep. He felt like a complete idiot. He quickly removed her arms from around his neck, letting her head rest on her pillow.

“Amanda?” he said finding that his voice cracked with apprehension. When she grunted and turned over in sleep, he brushed her hair out of her face. “Jo?”

When he didn’t receive a response, he smiled sweetly down on her. Getting up from the edge of the bed, he made his way toward the door before closing it behind himself and heading to his room. Shaking his head as he walked, he laughed to himself.

“Only me, I swear. A kiss I’ve wanted all my life is given to me while she’s asleep. Only me.” Justin said rubbing his head, a smile that he couldn’t help on his lips. Although she had been asleep during the kiss, he couldn’t deny that he’d enjoyed every second of it. He frowned suddenly realizing that she had opened up floodgates that he had managed to keep at bay. In addition, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to look at her without wanting to kiss her. He’d been looking at her and wanting that for years but now that he got a glimpse into what it would be like to kiss her, he wished he hadn’t found out the way he did. Throwing himself on his bed, face down, he promised himself when he kissed her again; he was going to make sure she was wide-awake and willing.

--------------------
2:36pm

“Where’s Justin?” Amanda grumbled dragging herself into the kitchen, holding her head in pain.

“Rough night?” Trace asked from the opposite side of the kitchen island, a big plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and grits.

“My head hurts so bad,” Amanda whined. “How could you eat that shit, right now?”

“It’s not shit, it’s pretty fucking good, actually. Besides I didn’t get plastered last night so I have the stomach for this.”

“I need coffee.” Amanda said gagging at the sight of her cousin’s food.

“Justin’s not up yet so there isn’t any made.”

“You couldn’t make some, dirtball?” Amanda questioned, picking up the empty coffee pot from the counter next to the sink.

“I didn’t want any. Get your own shit.” Trace said with a shrug.

“Asshole.” Amanda mumbled as she prepared the coffee.

“Whatever,” Trace said throwing a piece of toast at her back.

“Eww.” Amanda said picking up the buttered toast and throwing it on the kitchen island. “Wipe this shit off me,” she said throwing a rag at Trace’s face.

“No,” Trace said throwing the rag back at her. “I ain’t your bitch.”

“Yes you are and whatever I don’t give a shit. When I sit on Justin’s white couch later and there’s butter all over the backrest, I’m telling him it was you.” she shrugged.

“Gimme the fuckin rag, Manda.” Trace said grabbing the rag and wiping the butter off her back. “Pain in the ass.”

“Thank you, so are you.” Amanda said with a smirk. “How was your date with Elisha?”

“It wasn’t a date, Manda. It’s called a booty call.” Trace said rolling his eyes at her.

“You’re so full of shit, dirtball!” she said with a raised brow as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “You like her.”

“Yeah I do, which is why I’m fucking her.”

“You’re so fucking disgusting.” Amanda cringed as she sipped the hot liquid.

“Stop cursing, Jo,” Justin said entering the kitchen, as happy as can be. Amanda looked at him and back at Trace in wonderment.

“What’s up your ass?” Amanda asked him.

“What do you mean?” Justin said pouring coffee into his mug and retrieving the sports section of the paper from the kitchen island.

“Did you get laid?” Trace questioned.

“What?!” Justin asked smacking Trace upside the head before he took a seat on his stool.

“You can’t seriously be this alive after last night.” Amanda said eyeing him.

“What about last night?” Justin asked her with a raised brow, a smirk on his face.

“You’re acting weird, homeboy.” Amanda said looking at him intently. “You did get laid!”

“No one got laid. I’m just in a good mood.” Justin said looking through his paper as he sipped his coffee careful not to burn his lips.

“I got laid.” Trace chuckled.

“It wasn’t Cameron was it?” Amanda cringed.

“No one got laid.” Justin repeated. “Shut up, T.”

“Then why do you have that look on your face?” Amanda questioned.

“What look?” Justin asked looking up at her then at Trace then back at Amanda.

“You know I see it too, Manda.” Trace said his finger on his lip in a thoughtful manner, as he stood next to Amanda to look at Justin.

“You two are on crack.” Justin laughed, continuing his scanning of the paper.

“He’s in love with someone very close to me,” Trace stated making Justin spit out the coffee he’d just taken into his mouth all over the front of Amanda.

“Oh good one, dirtball!” Amanda yelped, wiping the coffee from her shirt. “Justin doesn’t mess with your hoes. This is your shirt you keep fucking with, by the way.”

“Sorry, Jo.” Justin said giving Trace a finger as he watched him putting his dishes into the sink.

“Sorry ain’t gonna cut it, you know payback’s a bitch!” Amanda shrugged. “So enough jokes, who you love nowadays, Timberlake?”

“No one.” Justin said quickly, giving Trace wide eyes.

“Liar.” Amanda said putting her empty coffee mug in the sink. “Speaking of liars, I’ve decided something.”

“What?” Trace question wiping down the area he’d been eating in.

“You ready to talk, Jo?” Justin asked in a hopeful tone.

“I think, no I know, I want to do this.” Amanda said with a smile that reached her eyes for the first time in weeks. Leaning over on the kitchen island, she looked her best friend in the eyes with a cheesy smile. “Call Johnny, homeboy. Make me a star.”

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