So how did I do? Did you read that track and let out a sigh of relief? Or maybe you said what Trace said and I quote ‘about fucking time’, is that what you said?  Are you happy now? Are you happy that I came to my senses? Are you proud of me? I am.

Yes, yes I know that you’re thinking, ‘what the hell took her so long?’ and yeah I get it. But aren’t you glad that I did. I took the chance; I took that chance to loose him completely by admitting to my own feelings.

Think about it.

I spent two months apart from him and I almost went ballistic. Don’t get me wrong I promoted the crap out of my album. Smiling for the cameras and posing for countless pictures with Justin fans that were becoming mine as well. But when the hectic day was over I retuned to the hotel suite. That’s when I was miserable. I cried like I’ve never cried before because I was petrified.

If Justin telling me that he loved me, caused that loneliness that I felt every moment while on tour. Imagine how it would have felt if I returned his feelings and it went caput. I couldn’t have taken it. Of course now, I know I will spend the rest of my life loving this man, but back then, back then I was scared to loose him completely. As my best friend and as the man that I loved.

I loved my homeboy for a long time before I decided that enough was enough. I need him in my life and unfortunately it took those two months apart from him to admit that. I was stupid and you can say it. Go ahead.

When I walked into that house that day, I was literally shaking. My legs barely contained my weight and I wanted to run out of there and figure out another way to get my friend back. But I refrained because I’d been running my entire life. Running away from something that always caught up with me.

When I was with Jeremy I just knew that I was wrong about my feelings. I adored Jeremy with all my heart and I believe he gave me the same type of love, making everything so much easier for so many years. But Justin was always around, always making me feel like a traitor of sorts. Justin was always that cake that I couldn’t eat, ya know. But what’s the use of having cake if I can’t eat it? And boy did I get a slice of that!

Anyway, the wait in the house was the nail in the coffin, ya know. I HAD to tell him, I had to tell him that I couldn’t live without him. I had to tell him that I loved him back and that I always had. I just HAD to and maybe I was being selfish but I didn’t care. I know I should have eased my way back to him but I couldn’t sit around and try to be Jojo again, ya know. I knew that even though he said repeatedly that he didn’t care if I didn’t love him back, I knew that if I lied and said those words, it would have crushed him. I know my friend from head to toe and that admission, although a lie would have sent him into the depressions state he went through in the past. I couldn’t do that to him. But I also couldn’t tell him anything else. I needed to get away, I needed to think and I used my promotional tour as that source of ‘being away’. Little did I know that it would backfire on me. The first two days away, were good. I did my interviews and managed to answer questions about Justin and our work together without giving it much thought. But by the third day when my single had been number on in a major radio station in New York and I wanted to call my best fiend to fill him in, I couldn’t. I couldn’t pick up the phone and tell him because I had left him.

I know Trace told him about everything that had been going on so in a way he experienced everything that I did. But it wasn’t the same. I needed his encouraging hugs and words. I needed to hear him call me Jojo. I need him, period.

Speaking of Jojo, that’s deep isn’t it? He was jealous of Jeremy Owens. Can you believe that? Unfortunately he still calls me that but I don’t think it means the same thing. He’s shortened it to Jo and he says that it’s a force of habit. I don’t mind because he’s been doing it for so long, it’s strange to hear him call me Amanda. He only does it when he’s mad at me or annoyed and well that happens for about a second then I just kiss him. He calls me Jo after that.

Okay this is getting depressing; I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s talk about something else. Ohh let’s talk about the Halloween when Trace and I dressed like Justin. We had so much fun that night. I need to convince Johnny to have another Halloween party. You should have seen Justin’s face. He was so embarrassed, which of course was the purpose. When Trace and I team up, Justin wishes we were dead, I swear. But then again when Justin and Trace team up I wan to kill the as well so it works out. Justin and I gang up on Trace all the time too. Although lately it’s been Elisha and Trace ganging up on Justin and I and well that’s not fun. Trace has not only found a girl, he’s found an accomplice. That little jerk!

Speaking of Trace, this message is for him, Justin has taken me on several rides, all worth every minute. Ha ha! How you like them apples?

Anyway I’m going to cut this short cause I have things to do today. Ohh and Britney says hello, and she can’t wait to get back to work. You should see the kids, they’re so freaking cute!

Alright, ya’ll one more track!

I want to take this opportunity to thank you. I want to thank you for listening and maybe…jut maybe loving me. Are you a fan? No not of Justin, but of me? I’m a huge fan of yours and I’ve enjoyed every minute I’ve spent with you. I’m glad that we did this; I’ve gained you as a listener, if nothing else. I’ve gained a friend in Lynn and she’s awesome! And I’ve gained an opportunity to exploit my best friends as well as myself. That’s always fun! I tear just slip from my eye, I’ll have you know. I’m going to miss you a great deal. I think every time I sit here in front of this computer screen, I’ll think of you and I’ll miss you. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart.

Love always, Amanda ‘Jo’ Reyes

P.S. Go cop my album, in stores now, yo! (Oh God, I have been cloned into ghetto Justin Timberlake)

Till we meet again! Bye! (Tears)
 

Yeah! (Remix #2)

Wow! It’s the end? :(

I spent weeks on end in front of this screen and for once, I’m speechless.  Don’t know what to say.

I guess I can start by thanking Lynn for this experience. Without her none of this would have been possible. In the beginning I couldn’t even do anything beside press the ‘on’ button on this thing. (I’ve never been computer savvy.) Now I’m able to open files and type, all thanks to Lynn. I’ve become kind of addicted to this computer and sometimes Jo has to drag me away. It’s nowhere near Trace’s obsession with myspace, but it’s an addiction of mine.

When I met Lynn a few months ago, I was skeptical, I ain’t gonna lie. I thought she was a fan, who wanted to exploit in front of the world. But it turned out that Jo wanted to exploit us, not Lynn. Nah, I’m kidding! In a way we were put out there with our business but it wasn’t that bad. I enjoyed it. Would I d it again? I hardly think so. When something is good the way it is why jeopardize it? I think this is what it is, ya know? It’s a good thing.

I want to thank you for sitting on that chair; I know that shit can be a pain in the ass, no pun intended. Ohh fuck it, the pun was intended. You’ve stuck with us for this entire thing when you could have click on that cute little X on the right top corner of this page. You’ve listened to us, you have laughed and cried with us. And I truly appreciate that. It is fans like you that make me get up every morning. (Well, Jo yelling to get my ass off bed, too.) I love you too!

And lastly I’d like to thank Mr. Ayala and Ms. Reyes for being my best friends in the whole entire world. I love you guys with all my heart!

I’m going to stop typing now before I fucking cry, seriously. I’m going to miss you.

Notice how I didn’t mention a thing about this track because it is what it is. You knew what was going to happen, no need to retell it, AGAIN. So there!
I love you guys and until Lynn can convince me to do this again, Bye ya’ll!

One more thing, this is the ghetto orgasm donor signing out!

Love, Justin

P.S. Here’s a little secret about what I’ll be doing in a few months: Sexy will be back!
 

Yup! (Remix #3)

Jesus, what a fucking pussy! This isn’t the fucking Grammy’s, Bro! Get over it. Did he say he was going to cry? Out loud?

I need new friends.

So this is it, huh?

Well I don’t deal well with goodbyes, what the fuck am I saying? I don’t deal with goodbyes, period. So it’s been real! Peace out.

P.S. I wouldn’t trade my friends for the world.  Ohh and I’m in love, Go fucking figure!