February 27, 2002 (The 44th Annual Grammy Awards)

Justin had been pacing the hotel floor for nearly twenty minutes. With the spinning of her head, caused by the alcohol consumed that night, she didn’t know how much of the pacing she could take. Lifting her head from between her knees, she looked at her other two best friends, pretending to shoot herself in the head with her finger.

Her cousin dared to smile, while Jeremy rolled his eyes, sarcastically. She wanted the spinning of the room to stop. She wanted to go back in time and refuse that last drink, offered by her cousin. But most importantly she wanted Justin to stop pacing the goddamn floor.

“Justin!!” she yelled out, causing the other two occupants to jolt in surprise. “Sit the fuck down!!”

“What?” Justin yelled back, as if suddenly aware that he wasn’t alone in the room.

“Sit down, man. You’re making us dizzier.” Trace said from the bed, where he sat in a similar position as his cousin.

“Newsflash, asshole!! No one asked you to come in here!!” Justin said only receive a finger from Trace.

“The only asshole I see right now is you.” Jeremy said from the chair at the far end of the hotel room.

“Fuck you!! I didn’t ask you to come in here, either.” Justin snapped.

“Justin!!” Amanda yelled. “Chill the fuck out. You called me to come in here, so that means we all come.”

“Can you do anything without him, Amanda?” Justin asked bitterly.

“What?” she asked in frustration.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jeremy spit out, standing from his seat and walking toward Justin.

“Guys!!” Amanda yelled.

“What the fuck do you think I mean?” Justin said stepping closer to him.

“Fuck!!” Trace said emerging from the bed and standing between the two. “Justin, dude, what are you doing? What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Justin said turning and walking to his original spot, his back toward his three friends.

“Nothing?” Amanda asked. “You have been pacing this floor for half an hour. You’re about to get into a brawl with one of your best friends, and there’s nothing wrong? You’re out of your mind.”

“What’s going on, J?” Trace asked worried.

“We can’t do anything to help if you don’t tell us what’s going on.” Amanda added.

“Tell us.” Trace grunted.

“Come on, Justin.” Amanda said after a few minutes of silence. “Where’s Britney? Why didn’t she come out with us tonight?”

“We can’t read your mind. You have to tell us.” Jeremy said, back in his comfortable seat. “We are pretty sure it has something to do with Britney cause she sat on the other side of the venue during the entire show. She didn’t come out to the after-parties with us and you haven’t bothered talking to us much all night. So you have to tell us the rest.”

“Who said I have to tell you anything? It’s none of your business.” Justin spit back.

“Cut the bullshit. You and I know it probably has to do with one of us.” Jeremy said glancing discreetly at his girlfriend, then back at Justin.

“You two need to get over whatever the hell has been up your asses for all these years and grow the fuck up.” Amanda said getting up and heading to the bathroom. “I’m going to my room to throw up, now.”

“That’s disgusting, Manda.” Trace cringed.

“This whole display of supposable friendships is disgusting.” She said slamming the door behind her, leaving the men alone in the hotel room.

“You need to shut your fucking mouth.” Justin threatened Jeremy, finger pointed at him.

“You need to face the facts, Timberlake.” Jeremy shrugged. “I’m going to go check on my girlfriend.” he said disappearing behind the hotel door.

“What the hell is Pretty-fuck talking about?” Trace asked.

“I’m so sick of this shit, man.” Justin said throwing himself on the bed next to him.

“What happened with Britney?”

“We’re done.”

“Serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“Damn man. I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“What happened?”

“Everything.” Justin said as he turned his head toward the door, a look of longing on his face. “She thinks I’m in love with someone else.”

“Why would she think that?”

“Because it’s the truth.” Justin said staring at the door.

“Justin? Tell me it’s not who I think it is. Tell me it’s not her.” a look of confusion and hurt across Trace’s features.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, T.” Justin said in anguish.

“Shit, how long have you been feeling like this?”

“How long have we known each other?”

“Since forever.”

“That sounds about right.” Justin said turning his eyes toward his best friend, a tear slipping from his eye. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“Jesus!! You’re in trouble.”

“I know.”

--------------------

Next Day
L.A.X. Airport

She needed an aspirin and need it as soon as possible. Opening her eyes all the way was out of the question. The dark shades that covered her eyes didn’t seem to be helping either. She had a headache from hell and walking through a crowded airport wasn’t helping the situation. People were everywhere, bumping into her no matter how much she tried to avoid them.

If it weren’t for the fact that she’d promised her boyfriend that she’d come to the airport with him, she would be sleeping off the hangover at that moment. She considered herself a good girlfriend and moments like those she wondered if being a bad one would be a better option. The fact that she wouldn’t see him for two entire weeks, saddened her but her head was pounding too deafeningly to give it much thought at that point. She’d get back to missing him later on that day.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” he asked, his arm around her shoulder as they walked toward his boarding terminal.

“I promised Trace and Justin I would stay with them.” she yawned. “And besides, going with you would be having to be in a hotel room alone all day. Football conferences aren’t my cup of tea.”

“I know, you’re right. I’m just going to miss ya, babe.” he said kissing the side of her head.

“I’m going to miss you too.” Amanda said sincerely after kissing his lips. “What I’m not going to miss is this fucking headache, once I get back to the hotel and get some aspirin.”

“Stop cursing, babe.” Jeremy chuckled.

“How are you even alive this morning?”

“I didn’t party as much as you did, Amanda.” Jeremy teased. “If I did, who would look out for you?”

“You know you don’t have to worry about me, it’s not like I don’t have two other sets of eyes on me at all times.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” he mumbled.

“What?”

“I said Justin and Trace were as drunk as you were.” Jeremy stated. “Justin had a rough night.”

“I hope he’s in a better mood today because this headache I have isn’t going to put up with much of his shit.”

“He’ll get over whatever it is with Britney. You and I are always good and Trace has his hoes. Everyone is happy.”

“Tricks.”

“Huh?”

“Tricks, not hoes.” Amanda said with a laugh. “Oh, god it hurts to laugh.

“My poor baby.” Jeremy said kissing her face repeatedly.

“You better get on that flight before the coach start blowing up your phone again. You’re lucky he let you take these couple of days off for the Grammy’s.” Amanda said after several lingering kisses.

“I’ll call you when I get a chance, okay?”

“Please do so. I’ll see ya back home in two weeks, okay?”

“Be careful. Don’t go falling in love with anyone else while I’m gone.” he said after kissing her lips tenderly.

“Impossible. I only love you.” Amanda smiled.

“I know.” Jeremy said with a sexy smiled toward her as he walked away.

Amanda watched her boyfriend as he disappeared behind the corridor doors before turning to walk out through the crowd again. Her headache still live and kicking.

As she made her way outside toward the black Yukon Denali she’d come in, she could see a group of men surrounding the vehicle. She really wasn’t in the mood to deal with photographers and the thought made her head throb painfully. Her first thought was that Trace had shown his face and the paparazzi  automatically though Justin Timberlake was in the car. As she got closer to the vehicle she realized that instead of the Yukon, a black Suburban had taken its place. Looking up the side she could see that her ride had moved up the line of cars, to accommodate other vehicles. Amanda started heading toward her ride when she heard the photographers start their chant of questions, a custom when a celebrity was spotted. Turning, she saw a very haggard looking Britney getting out of the truck, followed by her entourage.

Deciding to step back inside the airport to avoid the cameras, Amanda waited just inside the censorized doors. A few minutes later she was able to signal Rob, who was accustomed to seeing her around and was allowed access to catch up to Britney.

“Where you two ladies going?” she asked with a smile when she caught up with a fast paced, Britney and Felicia.

“Hey!!” Britney said shocked to find Amanda next to her as they walked. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Amanda.” Felicia said before continuing her conversation on her cell phone.

“Jeremy just left for Atlanta. What I should ask, is what you are doing here.” Amanda asked confused. “Where’s Justin?”

“I thought he was with you.” Britney said.

“I haven’t seen him since last night. He was pretty upset the last time I saw him.”

“Oh.”

“What happened?” Amanda asked. “You didn’t even sit with us at the show. Is everything okay?”

“He hasn’t talked to you yet?” Britney asked.

“No, we tried talking to him but you know how he can get.”

“We?”

“Yeah, Jeremy, Trace and I.” Amanda said as they came to a stop at a private terminal.

“God, he’s so stupid.” Britney huffed.

“What? Now you’re acting like him.” Amanda chuckled.

“I have to go, Amanda. I’ll see you around, okay?” Britney said in a sad tone before hugging her.

“Why am I getting a bad feeling? Is this goodbye?” Amanda questioned, confusion evident in her face.

“Maybe. Who knows.” Britney shrugged. “Take care of him for me, homegirl.”

“You know I don’t like that term.” Amanda said with a smile.

“You never complain when he says it.” Britney said before walking away, without another word.

Amanda couldn’t comprehend what was happening. When they’d arrived at the Grammy’s everything had seemed okay. Adjusting her shades on her face, she made her way out to her ride, avoiding the herd of photographers.

“Trace, wake up!!” Amanda said with a smack to her cousin’s chest, as he napped inside the vehicle.

“Don’t touch me again, Manda.” He mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Wake up!!” she said with a shove to his shoulders.

“Are we at the hotel?” Trace asked shoving her back lightly.

“No, moron.”

“Then leave me alone.”

“Did you talk to Justin?”

“Why are you still talking?”

“I just walked though an airport with the same hangover, Juan. So don’t give me any shit.” Amanda said rubbing circles on her temples. “Did you find out what happened last night?”

“It’s your own stupid fault for walking through the airport. Jeremy could of walked himself. He’s a big boy.”

“Can you not start on Jeremy, right now?” Amanda said glaring at her cousin from behind her shades. “I just ran into Britney.”

“You did?” Trace asked suddenly wide-awake. “Did she talk to you?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t she? She was acting weird and she sounded like it would be the last time we see each other.”

“Really. Did she say anything else?” he asked curiously.
“She didn’t say much. She was just acting weird.”

“How weird?”

“I don’t know, dirtball. Weird. Not exactly singing the happy song, weird.” Amanda shrugged. “Do you think they broke up for real this time?”

“Who?”

“Are we having the same conversation?”

“What?”

“I swear it’s not possible that we have the same blood running through our veins. No way.” Amanda said closing her eyes and resting her head on the headrest.

“What else did she say?” Trace question again.

“She didn’t say anything!!” Amanda snapped. “Go back to sleep, Trace.”

---------------

Arriving at the hotel, Amanda rolled her eyes at the amount of paparazzi outside. She couldn’t understand what their fascination was. With the intentions of not being photographed she asked Lonnie to drop her off a hundred feet from where the herd of paparazzi were standing. Amanda gave her cousin a finger as he protested about her way of avoiding the paparazzi and got out of the car. Quickly shoving the Access Pass into the coat she walked toward the hotel. No one turned her way, no one cared.  Smiling at her accomplishment as she neared the door, she retrieved her pass and showed it to the security guy. He smiled at her and opened the door behind him, having seen her exit with Trace and Jeremy just a few hours before.

“Thank you.” She said with a smile as she moved toward the inside of the hotel lobby.

“She was just with Britney at the airport!!”

“Hey! Hey! What’s your name?”

She heard someone from outside. Amanda was immediately annoyed that she’d been noticed. It had happened before at concerts but Trace had always been there with her, explaining that she was his cousin. As far as she knew, no one had taken pictures of her. The airport incident though, she knew she hadn’t avoided much of the paparazzi at all. Her picture was bound to appear somewhere and with the headache she still had, she didn’t much care.

“Where have you been?” someone said stepping in front of her as she headed toward the elevator. Looking up she saw the winter hat on his head, a big pull over sweater and baggy sweats pants to match. Through her shades, she would have said that the sweats were black but she’d seen him wear that attire before and knew that they were navy blue instead.

“At the airport.” she said. “What are you doing down here?”

“I was lookin’ fo’ ya’ll.”

“Why do you have to be so country in the morning?” Amanda asked as they stepped into the elevator. “You know that was a stupid move, going down there right?”

“I don’t care.” Justin shrugged. “There’s about a dozen other celebrities in this hotel, including Grammy winners. They could care less if Justin Timberlake of Nsync was in the lobby.”

“It’s good that you’re humble Justin. Stupid, but humble.” Amanda said as they stepped off the elevator on the eighteenth floor. “They just took about a thousand pictures while you asked me where I was. That was within seconds.”

“I didn’t notice.”

“Whatever. Speaking of where I was. I saw Britney at the airport. Any idea where your girlfriend is going?”

“She’s not… I don’t know.”

“What happened?” Amanda asked as she put her hotel key in its slot. She entered the room taking her coat off and throwing her shades on the dresser as she walked. Kicking her shoes off and laying under the already made bed covers. Justin followed her into the room opting to sit on the edge of the bed, his back toward her.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Honestly Justin, you have to do better than that today. My head hurts and I can’t analyze your words. You’re going to have to be clearer. What things did you guys argue about? I’m assuming there was an argument.” she mumbled from under the covers.

“It was just one particular thing, really.” Justin shrugged. “I can’t blame her though. I know she’s right. I’ve spent all these years not only lying to her but to myself.”

“What are you talking about?” Amanda asked sitting up.

“I have to tell you something, Jojo.” Justin said, “Before it kills me.”

“What is it, Justin?” Amanda asked worried, crawling over to the edge of the bed where he sat. Taking the covers off of her she sat next to him, a worrisome expression on her face.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Jojo. I don’t even think I can say it out loud, actually.” Justin said standing up and starting his ritual of pacing.

“Justin, please don’t start the pacing again. You’re scaring me here.”

“Where’s Trace?” Justin asked suddenly.

“He was going in the back entrance of the hotel with Lonnie. Why?”

“Just asking.” Justin shrugged as he paced.

“You’re avoiding is what you’re doing.” Amanda said, sitting Indian style on the edge of the bed. “Tell me what’s going on? Why are you not telling us.”

“I’ve been avoiding it for a  very long time now.”

“Justin, please. Tell me before I kill you. What’s going on?”

“Britney and I broke up.”

“I gathered that part. Why though?”

“She….” Justin started to say before stopping in the middle of his pacing to look at her. She looked so worried about him. Her full attention was focused on him. He couldn’t make a choice. He couldn’t tell her the truth and ruin everything because he was sure that was what was going to happen.

“She what?”

“Jesus, I can’t do this.” He said putting his hands on his head as he started his pacing again.

“Try. Since when do you have a hard time talking to me? I’m getting a bit offended here.”

“Where did Jeremy go again?”

“Justin?” Amanda said with a raised brow. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I’m going to beat it out of you.  Or I can just call Britney. How about I do that instead?”

“No!!”

“Then tell me.” Amanda spat out. “You’re worrying me here, homeboy.”

“I’m going to say this once and I’m not repeating it, okay?” Justin said and waited for Amanda to nod in agreement. When she did, he stopped pacing, walked over to her, sat down next to her and looked into her eyes. His eyes watered, tears threatening to spill, not because of what he would say to his best friend. But because of what he just couldn’t say without losing it all.  “Britney cheated on me.” he lied.

“What?!!” Amanda asked shocked, getting up from the bed and starting a slow version of Justin’s pacing.

“Shocking, huh?”

“I’m more like baffled. How could she do something like that? Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Justin said, the guilt making the tears spill over his eyelids.

“Oh god, Justin. I’m so sorry.” she said throwing herself at him. Hugging him tightly, like only a friend could.

“It’s okay, Amanda.”

“No, it’s not okay. She hurt you.” Amanda said, sadness overtaking her senses. She was honestly hurting for her friend. She knew that Britney had been the love of his life, and he probably wasn’t going to get over that.

“Not as much as I’ve hurt her.” Justin mumbled into her hair. “Don’t cry, Amanda. It’s okay. Really.”

“I know you, Justin. I know you love her very much. I know that right now you’re not saying much about it but I need you to understand that I am here for you whenever you want to let it out. Okay?”

“I know, Jojo. I know.” Justin said as he returned her second hug.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know, Amanda. So am I.”

“I can’t believe she would do this.” She whispered, the sadness taking its toll, a tear slipping her right eye..

“Nothing makes me more happy than to know, that I have such a close friend, to know that you’re down for me is reassuring, it’s the reason I’m always smiling.” he sang softly after a few minutes of silence, as she held onto him in comfort.

“And when I’m kicking it with you, I have a lot of fun with you, never any kind pressure, coming from you, trying to get me to do, anything I’m not ready to, that’s why I really like you.” she sang back, recognizing the song. They both hummed the song as they held each other.

“Da da da da da da, you make me happy.” she sang with a soft giggle.

“And if it’s supposed to be, then we’re gonna be, no one can stop what’s destined.” Justin sang fading into the chorus, not finishing the lyrics of the song.

“It’s gonna be okay, homeboy.”