This is taking forever. J told me we wouldn’t be here all day. But here I sit, four hours later, waiting to finish production on the song. The latest single that is going to help me join forces with my favorite artist of all time.

Garth Brooks. eeeek!

My entire career I have waited to work with him.  He is a legend that doesn’t get near the accolades he should in our business.  He reinvented country/pop music. He is the reason I picked up my guitar at the age of 12. His music is the reason I wanted to become a musician in the first place. No one could make me feel the emotion his songs could.

So now that he is planning his big comeback album, he asked ME-Calandra Stevens, to join him in the studio and try and work on a few new songs. Needless to say, I more than jumped at the chance. But I wanted something fresh.

I knew that even though we had a history, we could always make beautiful music together. So I asked my ex-fiancé, JC Chasez, if he would help produce the album, alongside my best friend Justin Timberlake.

I knew the combination of JC and Justin would be a perfect match for the sound I was trying to attain. JC is amazing with melodies, especially when it comes to arrangements in blues songs. With Justin it was a double win because let’s face it, he’s country boy with a hip hop flavor to him. This wasn’t just anyone I was working with here. This was my idol. So it had to be perfect.

It just so happened that in order to achieve what I wanted out of this opportunity, I was going to have to be around him again.

“Hey Garth, man could you try that chorus one more time. Try starting with the second line in.”  Josh pushed down the synthesizer again and waited. As soon as the rhythm started, Justin doubled the bass line and we were off and running.

I look out of our booth and over at JC. I wrote this song right before the big breakup. I’m still not sure it should even make the album, but as soon as Justin read it, he pitched it to Garth.

So here I stand trying to keep my composure. I should be happy. This is everything I have ever wanted.

“Okay, C baby c’mon on in right after him. We will take it from there please. Just try and mirror his sound.” JC smirks at me. I take a deep breath before I start into the chorus, right in tune with Garth.   

Didn’t get to say goodbye,

didn’t have any time

Wondering why you made me cry,

I know you’re gone but don’t know why

Lying with you under starry skies I’ll miss (yes I’ll miss it baby)

And the passion when we kissed (Ohh  Ohhh)

This feeling hasn’t left me yet

All I wanted was one more Sunset 

“That was great Cal. Let’s try it one more time and then we can grab some grub Mamacita.”

“Alright J, you are after all, “THE PRO” here!” I giggle at him. Sometimes he can just be too damn cocky for his own good. 

Josh stares at me while I belt out the chorus one last time. His eyes, god those eyes. He seems so hurt behind them. And I can’t blame him. I left. I shouldn’t have but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. Now, I’m really not so sure.

Lying with you under starry skies I’ll miss

And the passion when we kissed (Ohhh Ohhh)

This feeling hasn’t left me yet

All I wanted was one more Sunset

He has NO IDEA. 

It used to be enough for me. Seeing him like this. After so many months apart all I want to do is run to him and hold his body against mine. I need to feel his arms around me. I crave the taste of him on my lips. I miss his scent on my pillow and in our bed. Anything. Just to feel it again. That sensation I get every time he touches me. Or when we would be across the room from one another and he would just look at me with those eyes; eyes that could burn holes through the sun.  Late at night when we would stay up talking until dawn, about nothing and everything. But all that nothing had meant so much more to me than so many something’s because they were all attached to him. Every memory, every kiss, every touch, every whisper, every empty promise made; it all belonged to Josh. And to see him was wonderful. But it also tore into my heart. Because something told me this time it would all change.

It has to. Because I am getting married now, and if I don’t stand my ground and just try to be his friend, then I will let a lot of people down, including myself. It’s killing me inside though, staring into those oceans of deep blue, and not wanting to lose myself in them. I have a feeling this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And I don’t want to do it. But I know if I don’t stop this now, there is no chance in either of us moving on.

I’ve tried to go back to having a semi-normal life. Well, as normal as it can get for me. I’ve thrown myself back into my work and it has been amazing. Most of my time has been filled with writing material and locking myself in the studio twenty four seven to get this album finished.

But the memories in that room haunt me while I sit there and write. He built that studio for me. For us. And I can’t help but think of what we used to have. So here I sit, taking this all in. And wondering how the fuck I am supposed to make this work.

And sadly, it is only our second day in the studio with all of us together.

Damn. This is going to be a long month.

“Alright guys, great work. Let’s go eat. I am STARVING man!” Justin is great at giving me the distraction I so desperately need. And I am starting to get a little hungry myself. I hear my stomach growl and I am thankful to J, in more ways than he knows.

JC comes out to meet the three of us in the hallway. “So where we heading, guys?”

“You know all the local places around here boys, not me. I’m new to this town,” Garth says. Even when speaking his words harmonize. I need to stop this borderline obsession I know. But I cannot help but be in awe of him.

“I know a place….,” and before Justin can even finish his sentence Josh steals his thunder.

“Ain’t nobody crying…”

And all three men chuckle.

“Really?” I exclaimed, half joking, half serious.

I mean I am used to their typical banter and finishing each other’s sentences from time to time, but this is Garth Brooks we are in front of here. Come on; let’s try to act our age here. Then it hits me. It wouldn’t be them if they didn’t do shit like this. At least we are all laughing, including Garth. 

Its times like these that make me miss the old days with them. All the chaos, all the drama, all the fighting, all the drunken after parties till god knows when in the morning. I miss it terribly.

Once again my concentration is broken by Justin who is half running across the parking lot towards his Range Rover.

Apparently, we have decided where we are going for lunch and I, in my usual dreamy state of unreality, have missed what we have agreed upon entirely.

I jump in the back with Josh and stare out the window the entire time. I swear I can feel his eyes on me almost the whole way to the restaurant. 

He’s been talking back and forth with J about a new song they have been writing for J’s album. I didn’t catch the title or much of their conversation for that matter.

But I know Garth was giving Josh a few pointers about his acoustic guitar skills. Apparently everyone except me has heard this song. Oh well, I am sure I will eventually right?

For now, I am just trying to come up with conversational topics in my head, so that my mouth and my heart don’t blow this whole entire deal during lunch. It’s been about twenty minutes or so, when I realize we have finally come to a complete stop. Got to love valet in this town, or you would NEVER find parking. I open my door and just as I am about to step out  Josh is already there holding out his hand to help me down.

“Thanks. I don’t remember it being so much of an incline getting in and out of this thing. Haha. Might we lower the rigging, J?”

I stare down at my skirt, brushing over the hem, making sure the back isn’t riding up.

 “You look fine Cal. Lovin the halter vest too. It hugs your curv..It’s workin for ya.” JC smiles at me. I know what he’s thinking behind it and looking at him, I can’t say the thought hadn’t crossed my mind either, but I have to behave.

That is when I look up and realize where we are eating lunch.

“Nooooo!!!!,” I scream at the top of my lungs, in my head.

He wouldn’t do this to me. Neither of them would. Especially not J.

Josh must have noticed the look on my face.

Pure shock and somewhat horror.

Neither of them are going to get away with this.

Not when I am done with both of them.

“C-it’ll be okay. It’s just lunch.” Josh tries to reassure me but I am not so sure.

This is where we had our first “date” if you could call it that.

Boca Café.

This lunch just became a lot more complicated.  

~Sunset~ Song by Calandra Stevens