Chapter 1

"Baby?" I asked loudly dropping my bag on the floor; slipping my jacket off hanging it on the banister I walked up the stairs pulling my shirt up from my pants, unbuttoning it from the bottom.

"Baby?" I asked again kicking the door to the room open slightly I watched her figure roll away from me, with that I smiled throwing my shirt onto the floor by the bathroom.

I crawled next to her in the king size bed, wrapping my arm around her warm body pulling her closer to me. "Hi baby." I whispered kissing under her ear running my tongue down her neck; I felt the slight shiver in her body.

"Diana called." She said softly, I pulled my lips away from her neck holding onto her body.

"Diana?"

I tried to play stupid, Diana, wonderful Diana I had met at the club last weekend and went back to her apartment for a wonderful night.  

"She called your cell phone and said she'd love to see you again." She replied softly not moving to look at me.

"What were you doing going through my phone?" I asked getting ready to defend myself for this fight.

"We'll talk tomorrow." She said pushing my arm off of her body, we had fought the fight argument before but this time it was different from the sound of her tone, I knew she wanted nothing else to do with me tonight. I pulled away from her pulling the sheets off my body making my way to the bathroom, as I turned the lights on, I watched her pull the covers high over her body.

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I woke up the next morning rolling over to look at Estrella, but the bed was empty next to me, black sheets were crumpled and the soft king size down comforter was pushed aside. I rubbed my eyes sitting up in the bed I looked around and saw my phone on the side table next to me.

"You have no new messages and 3 saved messages. First message received at 3:15 am on March 4th 2004, 'Hey Joey, it's Diana I had an amazing time last night, I'd love to see you again. Call me when you get a chance.' End of message, press 1 to repeat, 2 for callback number 3 to save and continue and 4 to delete." Pressing 4 it moved to the voicemail's left from Chris and Lance asking about the upcoming week.

I stood from the bed grabbing my robe I walked down the stairs hearing her gentle laugh as I made my way into the black granite kitchen, other then Estie it rarely got used.

"Morning sunshine!" Lance said looking over at me.

Estie looked at me giving me her best warm smile and then sighed deeply. "Breakfast?" She asked, for the first time I noticed the frying sausage for the first time, I shook my head not taking my eyes off of her. "Would you like to stay?" She asked looking at Lance.

"Sure, if there's enough." He peeked over the counter, she lifted the pan and he saw that there showed him there would be plenty of food. I watched her move from the stove, walking to the fridge she bent over pulling out the carton of eggs on the bottom shelf.

I met her and I was… aware.

I could see something behind the doe like eyes, big brown pools, she was just… different. I watched her fight how attracted to me she was, how she really didn’t want to do those things with me.

In one night she had me, and I don’t know now if it was the lust of that passion… she let go so much but she hid a lot away.

It was intense.

Here we are, coming up on our 2 years anniversary and I was… happy, but I don’t know. Women anywhere, drinks, partying, it was a lifestyle.

I just didn’t want to let go of the lifestyle, and she was in a long distance relationship with me. It was the best of both, how could I say no?

The persona, the “player”, never bothered Estie. Not that it would, seeing as she lived in Dallas. She never caught onto the lies but lately it was harder working on Broadway and the secret start of our new album, me begging for her to stay with me. It was weakness though I wanted her I guess I wasn’t ready.

"Lance... can I talk to Estie alone please?" I asked pulling my robe closed as I stared at her. He looked at both of us for a moment and then stood slowly.

"Yea, I got to make a call anyway."

I walked around the stove watching her crack eggs into a bowl. "Look about that message..." I said trying to find an excuse, it was the first time she had ever really caught onto it as far as I knew.

"Stop, please."

She said not looking at me. "I’m not going to pretend, I’m just making it clear now. You have to come home. Don’t make me feel like someone I’m not just to satisfy what you got going on.” She said setting the fork down in the bowel.

"It's not what you think." I said putting my hand on her shoulder, shrugging me off she looked at me.

"Do I look stupid? I am not some dumb broad with bleach blonde hair that is going to soak up what you say because of the money or the name. This is how it is... please don’t act like I don’t have common sense." She said looking at me deeply.

"No more excuses… no more lies... just come home." She said the pleading look broke in her eyes; I shook my head trying not to ruin this place, the forgiveness she was giving me.

"I promise." I said pulling her into a hug.