Chapter 18- Lost and Found

I busied myself as much as I could when Ricky took the kids to Florida to see Justin. I was so nervous to hear what had gone on, but at the same time I couldn’t wait.

I had begun a novel, just for kicks. It was something to let me express myself freely. I was pretty excited about how it was coming along. But then again, I’m a little crazy and get too excited when it comes to things like that.

That’s when my cell phone began to ring to “The Calendar Hung Itself” by Bright Eyes. Ricky was crazy about that song, so while he was away I downloaded personalized rings for everyone. I told you I had too much time on my hands!

“What’s up Rico Suave?”

“Don’t call me that. Anyway, yeah… Justin was happy to see his kids…but yeah, Nat, he isn’t doing so good. All the drugs fucked up some of his organs…”

“But he’ll be okay right?”

“It could go either way, the medicine could help him heal, or he could need a new liver or …”

“Or what?” I was nervous. Was Justin really that sick?

“He could die.”

The line was silent, I didn’t know what to say to that and I guess Ricky didn’t either. I twisted the ends of my hair with my fingers, mentally trying to calm my nerves. He wasn’t going to die; they had to be playing mind games!

“But he isn’t dead yet.” I said softly. “How did he seem to you?”

“He actually seemed okay… but everyone said that before me and the kids showed up, he was like on his death bed, so maybe he’ll turn it around.”

“Good. I hope he does.”

“You really should have came, Nat. If not to see him but to try and mend things with your friends. They seem to think that you’ve forgotten about them.” Ricky told me, his voice was calm and soothing.

“That’s not true…”

“And you need to patch things up with Savannah. Whatever happened has hurt her badly… she needs you right now, Nat. You were never one to abandon your friends… what’s going on?” Ricky’s words hit me hard. “And us… it’s like you hate me… you aren’t you anymore and it scares me.”

By this point, I started to sob. It was true. I was trying to push everyone out of my life except for David. I wanted all traces of Justin gone. The worst thing of all was that being around the kids hurt me so much that I just left them with my Mother for a lot of the time.

That wasn’t me! I hated what I had become.

“I’m sorry.” My voice was shaking as I spoke. The hoarseness from the held back wail made it sound all the more pitiful. “I just wanted to get him completely out of my life… and I realize that I can’t.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. You have to embrace the love you and Justin had and that will be how you can let go.” I could almost see Ricky, shaking his head sadly at me. “You tend to act on your passion, you let your emotions rule you. You can’t do that, Natalia.”

I just sniffled lightly, letting everything sink in. Why was I such an imbecile? Why did I try to push everyone away?

For the simple reason that unconsciously, I was trying to make my life the way it was before. I was trying to go back to when I was 19 years old, before I knew Justin and before my life was turned upside down.

“You’re absolutely right, Ricky. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to be a dick to you. I’m sorry…”

“It needed to be said.” I wiped the tears that cascaded down my face with my hand.

Ricky was right I had changed, and now it was time to change back to me again. I wasn’t going to loose myself.

**

Justin quietly sat in a wheel chair where Hope pushed him outside so he could get some air. Justin sighed softly, wishing that Natalia were here. He didn’t believe for one second that she was sick. Something in his gut told him that there was a hell of a lot more to the story and he was going to find out.

“So Hope… where do you think Natalia is?”

“I really don’t know.” Hope sighed. “You know how she gets. Natalia is very, very, very stubborn.”

“Believe me, I know. I’m married to her.” Justin shook his head. “For how much longer… I don’t know though.”

“Don’t talk like that Justin. You’re going to be fine and you are not getting a divorce. Call me Miss Cleo, but I know that you guys are going to be fine.” Hope placed a kiss on Justin’s cheek. “I have faith and so should you.”

“I’ll try… thank you, Esperanza.” Justin smiled at her. Hope was a beautiful person, inside and out. She understood him and Justin was thankful to have her as one of his best friends.

“Hey! Justin!” JC ran over towards Hope and Justin, almost exploding with energy. “We found out important news.”

“I’ll take that as my cue to leave then, feel better Justin.” Hope half smiled at Justin and JC, and then quickly walked away, leaving them to talk business alone.

“Okay… what’s up?”

“It seems that the Lopez’s were behind your assassination attempt. We found evidence in the house. We would have overlooked it but we were tipped off.” JC explained. “It seems that they had paid off your children’s babysitter, Paris.”

“Shit.” Justin rubbed the beard that had grown on his face.

“Whoever did this wanted to destroy every part of you, making you weak and vulnerable.”

“Have we found out who is the new leader of the Lopez family yet?”

“No… but it could be anyone, one of Larry Lopez’s sons… or even Natalia’s Uncle…”

“Fuck… If I have to take out her Uncle… I don’t know what I’m going to do…”

“I know man, but the pieces fit together. He wanted to ruin you; he wanted you and Natalia apart. It kind of makes sense that he’s leading the family or at least is very tied into this.” JC explained his theory to Justin. Justin just exhaled a deep sigh.

“What was the evidence you found?”

“In the attic… there was cameras wiring the whole house, and tons of spy equipment. We had been spied on… we found a guy sitting up there and it appears that he had been living up there.”

That was disturbing. Justin couldn’t believe that someone had snuck past all his security and was in his attic.

“We’re interrogating him right now… and as soon as I get anymore information… I’ll get back to you… but for now… you are in danger.” JC informed Justin, who got out of his wheel chair. His anger had grown and his determination level was through the roof.

He wasn’t about to let anyone kill him or win.

“Fuck this shit.” He gave a swift kick to the wheel chair. “I’m not going to go down without a fucking fight.”

“Careful there, Timberlake.” Tommy had walked up behind Justin and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. You need to get better as well.”

“I will. But I need to fix this shit. I’m going to end this feud with the Lopez’ once and for all, and I’m going to get my life and my woman back.” Justin dusted off his black sweat pants and headed back towards the hospital. “Time to fucking check out. I need to go into hiding for a bit, and get everyone off my back.”

“Good idea.” JC agreed, as he and Tommy followed Justin along.

“No one but you two are going to know my whereabouts, and I want protection for Natalia and my kids back in New York. I want them watched at all times. When the time is right, I’m going to get them.”

**

“Hey guys.” Justin hugged his children tightly; they had spent the day at the park. Justin still wasn’t better, but he put all his energy towards spending a fun day with his kids.

He didn’t want to let them go, but he knew that this was it. Maybe it would be a few weeks or a few months or even a few years, but he was going to get better and make things right.

He hated the thought of leaving his kids. But there was no other alternative.

            “Daddy’s got to go away for a while.”

            “NO!” His tiny brunette daughter yelled. “You promised you no go away!”

            “I know baby, but Daddy is a little sick and Daddy needs to get better, but I promise, I’ll get better soon and come back.” He ran his hand down his daughter face, which was wet with tears.

            “Miss you, Daddy. Momma miss you too.” Nikolas stated sadly.

            She did miss him! He knew it. Justin knew that Natalia was only being stubborn. He knew he could get her back.

            “ I miss her too… but I have some presents for you guys.” Justin sat down before the twins and first took out a tiny Harry Winston necklace, with a pink and yellow diamond, tiara-shaped charm. “This is for you, Sammie. This is because you are my princess.”

            Justin clasped the necklace around his daughter’s neck and smiled. Of course, she had no idea of its value, but thought it was pretty. That’s all that mattered to him.

            “Pretty!!” Samantha beamed as she stared at her necklace. Justin placed a small kiss on her forehead and moved along to his son.

            “This is very special to Daddy, and I want you to take care of it.” Justin pulled out a small ID bracelet, from his pocket. “This was mine when I was little.”

            The ID bracelet, which had once been just plain white gold, had been changed. Justin added blue and white diamonds to it and inscribed pictures of his favorite cartoons.

            But the message Justin’s own mother had inscribed for him was still there, on the back of the bracelet. “Justin, I love you more than life itself. You truly are a gift from God.” Justin had added his own message for his son as well though. “Nikolas, your Daddy loves you, no matter what. You mean the world to me, always remember that.”

            Nikolas just stared at the bracelet, as Justin fastened it around his tiny wrist. He was amazed by the pictures of Sponge Bob Square pants, Spiderman, and other various characters.

            “Thank you, Daddy.”

            Of course the kids had no idea of the value of the gifts he gave them, so he also bought them every toy in Toys R Us. He wanted to do everything to make his children happy.

            “I love you, Samantha and Nikolas. “ Justin pulled his two children into a tight embrace. He held back a weeping sound, but let the tears fall down his face.

            This wasn’t fair, but it had to be done. Justin released the twins and wiped his eyes.

            “Now I need you guys to do me a favor… do you think you can do it?”

            “Uh huh!” Samantha said and Nikolas just nodded happily.

            “I need you to take this.” He handed Nikolas an envelope, knowing he was more responsible than his sister. “And when you go home, you need to give it to your Mommy, okay?”

            “Okay, Daddy.” Nikolas stated with a smile.

            “Alright, let’s get some ice cream and then get you guys back to Uncle Ricky’s.”