Chapter 26

            Justin was pulling me outside and all I could do was let myself get pulled. He was jealous. Well fucking good. He could never know the pain I felt when I walked in on him and Paris.

            “Who the fuck is that?”

            “That is my date, Napoleon!” I yelled at him as we stood outside in front of his black Mercedes G500.

            “Date?! What the fuck, I thought you wanted to be fucking alone.” He said with his pain evident on his face. I just crossed my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes.

            “Well I saw something in Napoleon that I didn’t see in anyone else!” I was talking out of my ass but oh well. I liked getting Justin upset.

            “He’s a fucking loser!! You would never give someone like that the time of day!!”

            “Just shut up, Justin!! Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean you have to rip into someone you don’t even know.”

            “I’m not jealous!!”

            “YEAH OKAY!” I said and just started to laugh. Justin just shook his head, angrily.

            I loved that he was jealous, in a sick way it was a turn on for me.

            “I’m not fucking jealous. I could have you right now if I wanted to.”

            “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I need to get back to my date.” I turned to walk back inside but I was met by Justin’s hand holding my wrist.

            “You aren’t going anywhere.”

            “Get off me Justin.”

            “No.” He said firmly.

            I just stopped and gave him the nastiest look I could muster up. He really knew how to push my buttons. Justin and I just knew how to drive each other to that point where we want to just strangle each other. But there are other times where we can just draw so much love from each other. We had a weird relationship.

            “So you like that freak, Natalia?”

            “Very much!” I lied. “I think its love at first sight.”

            Justin stared at me with such hurt in his eyes; I couldn’t go along with it anymore. I fucking missed him so much and I was pushing him away again. I took a deep breath and looked down at the floor.

            “You love him?”

            “No, I was just trying to piss you off.” I admitted weakly. Justin shook his head and stared at me.

            “Why?”

            “Because… I don’t even know.”

            “Do you get off on hurting me or something?”

            “I should be asking you the same question.” I narrowed my eyes at him. That fucking bastard was trying to make himself out to be the victim and I was not going to allow that.

            “I don’t like hurting you…”

            “But you’re so good at it.” I said bitterly.

            Justin let out a huge sigh and let his body fall against his car. He was hurt and I was doing it just as much as he was doing it to me. We were just so fucked up.

            “I love you…”

            I stayed quiet and stared off into the parking lot. Were Justin and I cursed to lead a life of a fucking pattern? We were forever going in a fucking circle. It had to end.

            “I know… and you know I do… but I just hate this.” I confessed and looked down at the floor. “It hurts to fight with you.”

            “Then why don’t we just stop? Why can’t we just fix things?”

            “Maybe things aren’t meant to be fixed.”

            “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” The angry side of Justin was out now and he kicked at the wheel of his car with a tremendous force. “I told you that we’re not getting a fucking divorce Natalia!!”

            “I don’t see how things can be mended.”

            “Well I can!” He screamed.

            Justin was frustrated and pacing back and forth in front of me. I actually started to get a little nervous. My husband had quite the temper, I had witnessed him do some crazy things when he was mad.

            But he would never hurt me. Right?

            “I’m just still upset and not ready Justin… I didn’t want to go on the date tonight. Alright… there was some bet or something and Ricky made me go.” I said quickly. Justin stopped pacing and looked at me. He had visibly calmed down and I was thankful for that.

            “Well why did you kiss him then?”

            God, if he was that freaked out about the kiss, I was scared to know what he’d do if he found out David and I had been sleeping together. Justin would flip out.

            “I just was caught in the moment, I guess.”

            “Kiss me.” When he said that it sounded more like a command then a request. I just shook my head.

            “No.”

            ”Why?”

            “I’m not ready.”

            “But you can kiss that fucking freak and not me?” His anger was back with a full force. I was trying not to meet his eyes.

            “Please calm down.” I said those words in almost a whisper. This seemed to infuriate him more.

            “DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!!”

            I just wrapped my arms around myself, frightened. He was out of control and it was scary. Why couldn’t he just be fucking normal for once? Was it really necessary to scream?

            “I’m sorry.” He finally said and his temper subsided. He walked over to me and pulled me into an embrace. “I’m just so scared to lose you, Nat. I love you and I just want things to be right with us again. My life has been hell without you. You are what keeps me balanced and what keeps me from breaking down. Without you I fall apart. You’re my angel and my salvation. You have given me two beautiful children and really have kept me from going off the deep end. But the thought of you not in my life makes me scared and angry and depressed. I hate not waking up with you in my arms but I’ve held onto the hope that things will get better. I don’t think I would have survived without that hope. Wait, I know I wouldn’t have survived without it. I almost died and you were all I thought about, you were all I wanted. You still are.”

            Was he telling me that he’d kill himself without me? I shuddered at the thought.

            “I can’t lose you… please, Natalia. Don’t give up on us.” His eyes were glassy and he looked about ready to cry. Why did he put me in these damn positions?!

            “Please… J, I need time.”

            “I know… but we can try something later on right?” He looked at me with his blue eyes full of pain.

            “Yeah…but I can’t guarantee that it can work… but we can try.” I rubbed my arms, just feeling nervous. He was so anxious and nervous, it was making me feel the same way. “But you need to back off and stop pressuring me. The only thing you accomplish by doing that is pushing me away.”

            “Don’t you think I know that?” He was standing next to me looking at the floor. “I hate this. I hate that I haven’t been able to get out of this life and do you want to know the honest to God truth why I haven’t been able to get out?”

            “Why?” I watched him curiously. Was he finally going to open up to me?

            “Because of the Lopez family. I fucking killed Larry Lopez but that doesn’t mean that they’re out of the picture. His sons are out for my blood and if I leave without ending it… we’ll all die. You, me, the twins, JC, Savannah, Tommy, Hope… everyone that we know. I have to finish this before we can get out.”

            Horrified, I brought my hand up to my mouth. That was just disgusting. How could people do something like that?! But I guess I was finally understanding Justin and why it was not so easy for him to leave. Why couldn’t he have told me from the beginning and saved us the hassle?

            “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

            “Because would you really have wanted to live the last 3 years knowing that? That you could be attacked and killed at any fucking moment of the day?”

            He was absolutely right. That was a scary fucking thing to live with. I just sighed and hugged him tightly. He wanted out as much as I did, but he was protecting us all.

            “So now you know.” He whispered and hugged me back tightly.

            Momentarily forgetting everything, I leaned up and kissed my husband. He accepted the kiss gratefully and never let go of me. I forgot how nice it felt to be in his arms and I melted. He always did this to me, he always made me fall for him all over again by just one kiss.

            Everything was clicked into place. Why he was so stressed and moody… why he wanted me as far away as possible from his business dealings was only to protect me. I couldn’t hate this man, even if he cheated on me again.

            Still kissing me, Justin fumbled in his pocket and pulled out his car keys. I heard the door unlock and Justin pulled me in the back seat, never pulling away from our kiss.

            All of Justin’s cars were customized to the slightest detail. His windows were bulletproof and there were other customized things I didn’t understand. I didn’t know shit about cars.

            Justin turned on the car so just the radio was playing. “Rape Me” by Nirvana came through the speakers and I just smiled through the kiss. I loved that damn song.

            He pulled me onto his lap and rubbed my bare inner thighs, which were straddling him. I was trembling from his touch. I wanted him more than anything in the world at that moment. Everything was forgotten and it was just us. There was no pain and no sorrow. Just a feeling of perfection.

            Reaching down to his pants, I unbuttoned them and took Justin by surprise. He pulled away from the dizzying kiss and looked at me.

            He said nothing to me but I just smiled and continued to unzip his pants and yanked them down along with his boxers. I stroked his hard-on softly and Justin just let out a small moan.

            God he really hadn’t been with anyone else, had he? I was starting to feel a little guilty about the David thing, but I just pushed it out of my mind. I was not going to think about the past, I was just going to live in the present and have fun. At least just for the night.

            “My angel…”

            He was pulling off my shirt and when I was topless, he mauled at my chest. There was an urgency and a need in his touch, I didn’t want to deny him of anything.

            “Yours, Justin. Only yours.”

            The words seemed to make him cockier and his motions quicker. I was only his, and although I had given myself to David, I still belonged to Justin.

            “Mine. Forever.” His blue eyes were dark and filled with lust and an arrogant smile adorned his face.

            God, He doesn’t know what he does to me. He is beautiful in every way. I love him so much yet after that night I knew the anger would return. I was unsure if I could ever forgive him for the pain I had endured and all the tears I had cried.

            His hands were up my skirt, tearing my thong off of me. Justin then picked me up off his lap and turned me around so I was facing the front of the car. His hands were at my waist, slowly bringing my hips down to his cock. His cock is pressed against my entrance and my eyes practically rolled back in my head.

            He was the only one that made me feel this way. Justin is the only man that can drive me crazy like this. One minute we can be screaming at each other and the next we can be fucking like animals. It’s like that Eminem song, “Crazy In Love”. It really describes us.

            Justin was inside me for mere seconds and I was panting already. It felt so good and it was like I needed this. I wasn’t complete without having Justin’s arms around me.

            His cock was pushed deeper inside me and I screamed out in pleasure. It was so good, I wished that things could be like this forever.

            “Mine… “ He whispered in my ear. He reached up to my breasts with one hand and clung to my hip with the other.

            I don’t know why he chose me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I’m not unique, and I’m sure there are a million girls out there just like me. Why does he always pursue me, why does he claim that I am his love?

            I just don’t understand what could be going through his mind sometimes.

            I was knocked out of my thoughts when he yanked my hips down to meet his thrusts. I started to move my hips voluntarily, crying out in pleasure.

            What I definitely knew was that Justin and I had passion. It was something between us that hadn’t dissipated, but grew more and more by each day. He completed me in every sense of the world.

            “Justin…” His name passed from my lips as he kissed my shoulder blade. I thought I would go mad from the pleasure.

            “Hmm?” Came the moaned reply in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine.

            “I love you…”

            “I love you, my angel.”

            I was bouncing harder now and I silently thanked God for the tinted windows on the car. His cock was fucking my pussy the way it was meant to be. David didn’t make me feel this way, Dylan certainly didn’t, it was only him.

            “Uhn… Justin… yes!!” I panted.

            In a split second the back seat was reclined and I was on my back with Justin resting between my legs. He loved being in control and I didn’t mind. I liked being dominated by him.

            He kissed me, taking my bottom lip into his mouth and biting it, while thrusting his rock hard cock back inside me. Who would have thought that after a date with Napoleon, I’d be getting fucked by Justin?

            I couldn’t count how many times I came, but I was moaning his name over and over and he pounded my tight hole. His, I was his until the day I died.

            “FUCK!! God…” He clenched his jaw and furiously fucked my pussy. The car was bouncing like crazy. I stared into his cobalt eyes and caressed his soft face.

            He loved me and nothing I could do would ever change that. I felt the same way about him but I still felt fear. I wasn’t ready to pick up where we left off. I needed to heal still.

            But I loved him with all my heart, regardless of everything.

            “Natalia! God!” The words came out of his mouth and he emptied himself inside me. He let his body fall onto mine and kissed at my chest. “Mine.”

            I was his and he was mine. It was just letting everyone know that was going to be the problem. Everyone was against out relationship and if we were ever going to get back together we had to solve that.