Chapter 37

            So I failed to mention before, the next day was my birthday, December 28th. I really didn’t want my birthday to come this year, especially with all the on goings of the past couple of months. I was turning 23, and instead of celebrating it, I wanted to crawl into a hole for the day, but no one would let that happen.

            “Happy Birthday!!” Ricky exclaimed as I walked into the kitchen. He pulled me into a tight hug, leaving me to just half smile groggily at him. I immediately reached for the pitcher of coffee and poured myself a cup. I was not a morning person.

            “I take it you aren’t happy about it being your birthday.” Louis asked, but still managed to give me a birthday hug, which I accepted.

            “This day just needs to quickly end.” I said truthfully and sipped my coffee. Milk and two sugars, it was what I needed to get me awake.

            “Why do you have to let Justin ruin your birthday?” Louis spoke up. “He’s a prick bastard and you deserve so much better. Girl, we should just hit a spa in the daytime, and then head to a bar in Soho, and drink cosmos till the wee hours of the morning.”

            “Oh God that sounds like heaven.” Ricky giggled excitedly and placed a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. “I’ll go make the reservations now… that’s such a great idea baby.”

            “Um… how about a rain check? I was just going to do some work for my article and maybe spend a quiet evening with the twins… I really miss them by the way…” I sighed.

            I really did wish my children were with me, in fact it sucked. All I really wanted was to spend the day with them, maybe take them out to breakfast and to a museum, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. It was fine though, the twins really needed to spend time with their father. I was going to be selfless, even if it killed me.

            “Obviously you’re not in the birthday spirit… so I should return your gift.” Ricky said nonchalantly, I nearly spit out my coffee.

            “I thought you agreed that you wouldn’t get me anything?” I whined, feeling absolutely horrible that my best friend had spent money on me.

I loved Ricky to death; both he and Louis had done so much for me through the whole Justin scenario. I seriously was in their debt and I didn’t want him going out and doing anymore for me. I didn’t deserve it anyway.

“Since when would I listen to what you say?” Ricky got up from his chair, chewing a piece of toast. “Come on!! You’re going to love it!”

My friend pulled me into the living room of his huge apartment and forced me to cover my eyes while he rummaged through his closet for my gift. I really did feel bad that he had spent money on me; my birthday was so close to Christmas that I honestly always felt bad when anyone got me a gift.

            “Okay… open your eyes!” Ricky said, and I quickly complied, uncovering my face and coming face to face with a Nintendo Wii.

            “Oh my fucking God!” I exclaimed. “HOW DID YOU FIND THIS?!”

            I had been searching non-stop for a Nintendo Wii, because I’m pretty much one of the biggest Nintendo fans ever, more exactly, The Legend of Zelda. I’ve pretty much beaten every Zelda ever made and the new one, Twilight Princess, for the Wii was going to be no exception. I swear I had been to about 50 stores looking for that console and every time I was met with the same response, “Sorry, We’re Sold Out!”

            “I have my ways.” Ricky smiled slyly and quickly accepted the hug and kiss that I gave him. “I’m just glad you like it.”

            “Like it?! I love it!  

            Yeah, so I was totally in little kid mode. I guess Zelda and Nintendo does that to me. I seriously could play that game all day. It was like I was taken back to when I was a kid and my brother and I would play Ocarina Of Time all day. I really did miss Andrew more than ever at that moment; he would have absolutely died upon seeing the amazing way Zelda was portrayed. The storyline was amazing as were the graphics.

            Oh yeah, and Link was fucking hot.

            So for the rest of the morning, Ricky, Louis and I played the Wii in the living room. I was kicking all their asses in bowling. I’m also a sore winner so I made sure to rub it in all their faces. My birthday really was going to turn out better than I expected it to.

**

            “Fucking Moblins!” I cursed and swung the Wii remote at the empty space before me. The cool thing about Zelda was that you could swing your arm around like your were actually sword fighting. I, of course, got so into it that I was knocking into Ricky or bashing my arm against walls.

            “Get the left one!! He’s about to shoot a flaming arrow!” Ricky screamed. I swear, the two of us were so determined to beat this game without the strategy guide or any outside help. It wasn’t a game to us after 3 straight hours of play, it was real life.

            “I’m surrounded… AHH!” I hit the B button and threw a bomb and ran, blowing up my enemies. “THAT’S RIGHT!! I GOT THE BOSS’S KEY!!”

            “Hell yeah!” Ricky laughed and got up from his seat upon hearing the door bell. “Ugh… this better be like a hot guy at the door or I’m going to be very disappointed that I got up!”

            “Make that hot and single!” I giggled. “Although Link is both of those! So it’s like a win/win situation if you get up or sit down and stare at that sexy video game character.”

            If Ricky and I weren’t crazy before, we definitely should have been institutionalized now. Only the two of us would lust after a cartoon character… well, make that a very sexy cartoon character.

            “Haha, that is very true.” Ricky adjusted his shirt and hair in the mirror before opening the door. I fucking loved him, he always had to look perfect, even if it was like his 80 year old neighbor asking for a cup of milk.

            “And can I just say that Link better screw Zelda’s fucking brains out. Come on?! Link saves her ass along with Hyrule FOR HER and she doesn’t even put out? That bitch needs to give him a little somethin’ somethin’.”

            “Natalia… you have some odd logic.”

            I looked up from game, for the first time in 3 hours and stared at Justin. He smirked at me from the doorway with our two children. I blushed like 14 year old school girl and paused the game immediately. I swear, it was the second time I saw him in the past day and I was in pajamas and looking like a nerd.

            “Happy birthday, Mommy!” The twins ran at me and hugged me tightly. I was still slightly confused at why he was even here. I mean, he had the kids till the evening and it was like early afternoon. I swear, I really didn’t get Justin sometimes.

            “Thank you babies.” I kissed both of their cheeks and looked up at my estranged husband. “What are you doing here?” 

I noticed Ricky just smile happily from the now closed front door. I guess he was happy for me now that Justin wasn’t being a gigantic asshole anymore. It was still a little shocking though, I mean he hated me like two seconds ago and now he was okay with me? And he had the nerve to say that I had odd logic? Please!

“Well, first of all, Happy Birthday.” He placed a kiss on my cheek and then handed me a large, perfectly wrapped box. “Go open this and put this on. The twins and I have a special day planned for you.”

“Uhm… what?”

I was shocked… wouldn’t you be? Seriously, I mean just last night Justin was professing his disgust for me and now he wanted to spend the day with me and the twins? Was he really bipolar or something?

“Just go get dressed.”

He nudged me towards the room I always stayed at in Ricky’s loft apartment. The room door was closed and a tiny bit of sunlight peeked through the curtains, giving the room an eerie feeling. I wanted to pull out my hair. I seriously just wanted to do something that would describe my frustration and confusion with Justin. He was hot and cold with me; I just didn’t understand him.

Actually, I was starting to believe that I didn’t understand anything about anything. I might have been educated but that didn’t mean shit in the long run. I was still a clueless, naive little girl when it came down to it

My phone began ringing like mad to “The Calendar Hung Itself” and I knew it was Ricky. I pulled my phone out of my hoodie pocket and flipped it open.

“Ricky… I’m freaking the fuck out.”

“So am I! What the hell did he get you? I’m guessing its clothes… oh my god… is it Roberto Cavalli?” My gay best friend exclaimed through the speaker of my cell phone. Only he would try to make light of this situation.

“I can’t even bring myself to open the box. Ricky, what the hell is this? Is he for real? Does he want to mend things? Why the hell is he being so nice?!  I’m so fucking confused… and just…just… ahhh!! I can’t even describe it… but it’s something like surprised.” I sighed heavily, just wanting to break down and cry.  “What do I do?”

“Nat, listen good… I want you to go today. I want you to wear whatever sexy little outfit he got you and get the fuck out there and enjoy your birthday. Today is your day, baby doll, and sometimes birthdays are magical. Maybe this year your wish really will come true.”

“I hope so…” I nervously began ripping at the wrapping paper, growing more and more excited. “Alright… I’m gonna get ready… I’ll see you in a few.”

I hung up the phone and giggled excitedly for the tiny bit of hope that Ricky had instilled into me. Maybe he was right… maybe I shouldn’t question his motives and just enjoy my day. I still held onto a tiny shred of doubt, but allowed myself to be excited.

Maybe Ricky was right, maybe their really was some magic on our birthdays?

**

Justin had gotten me the cutest outfit, a simple but amazing fitting Rock and Republic jeans, and a beautiful pair of black Ugg uptowns that I had been eyeing but never got around to ordering. How the hell did he know? I swear, Justin definitely knew my style very well, because he completed the outfit with a white long tube top and to go over it a cropped, low cut black sweater. I was IN LOVE with this outfit to say the least.

I quickly put the outfit on and did my makeup quickly. I had to say, everything looked perfect and fit me just right. I sprayed a hint of BCBG perfume on and quickly adjusted my hair, before finally exiting the room.

“Oh my fucking God… I love your outfit!” Ricky was practically waiting by the door when I exited. He pretty much made me do a 360, examining every inch of the outfit before squealing. “Justin you have amazing taste!”

“Thank you… thank you.” Justin said and took a bow. I just rolled my eyes and laughed. “Oh uhm… by the way…I kinda uhm… bought the twins a-“

“MOMMY LOOK!!”

A mass of brown, black and white fur was pushed up at me. I staggered back and examined the animal which was thrust at me. It was a puppy, a tiny little beagle. I giggled with excitement and picked up the small puppy who began kissing me instantly.

“You didn’t?!”

“Yeah… I kinda got suckered into it…”

“I thought you didn’t want to get them a dog yet?” I looked at him, completely surprised. Justin was so strongly against buying a dog, mainly because his dog, Terra, had died a year earlier. I honestly was terrified of Justin’s dog, it was an elderly boxer, who hated everyone except for Justin. But anyway, I really wanted to get a dog, especially because growing up, I never had one (My Mother claimed she didn’t need another headache.), but Justin was so distraught when he lost his precious Terra, that he refused to even look at another animal.

“I didn’t… but like I said… I got suckered into it. They saw a pet shop and begged me to go in. I really shouldn’t have gone in but I swear, that dog was the first we saw and I knew that he’d be perfect for the twins.”

I cradled the puppy in my arms, who was probably only a couple of weeks old. I swear, if no one believes in love at first sight, they just need to hold a tiny puppy. I held the dog tightly and smiled.

“What’s his name?”

“I want to name him Barbie!” Samantha called out, causing me to laugh uncontrollably.

“But he’s a boy… you have to give him a boy name.” Justin grinned and picked up his daughter, obviously enjoying the innocence of his children. “I thought we were going to pick Mio?”

“Mio? Where’d you come up with that?” I asked, still giggling from my daughter’s Barbie comment. I ran my hand down the dog’s fur. I really wanted to take a picture of it because it was falling asleep in my arms. It was so adorable.

“Nick was telling me the words in Spanish that Abuelita had taught him, and he said Mio. I don’t know… I thought it was cute….but it’s still up to you guys.”

“Mio, huh?” I smiled and placed a soft kiss on the top of the puppy’s head. “I love it, because it’s true… he’s ours.”

Justin smiled and walked over to me, with our daughter still in his arms and placed a kiss on my lips, just as he had yesterday. I didn’t understand what was going on… like was this a step towards us reconciling? I really didn’t understand what Justin wanted to do, but I knew that sooner or later, the conversation needed to happen, but right now wasn’t the time. We just needed to enjoy each other’s company and take everything one step at a time.

“So grab your coat and put Mio down. We have a busy day planned for your birthday.” Justin smiled at me. “Hey Ricky, do you mind puppy sitting?”

“Not at freaking all… he’s adorable and as long as he doesn’t pee on my Persian rug, he’s welcome to stay.” Ricky pulled the dog out of my hands and laughed excitedly. “I swear, I think I’m going to have to get a dog next.”

“Haha awww…our dogs could be a couple.” I giggled, as Justin began to pull me out the door, along with Nikolas.

“You need help, sweetie… but have fun guys!!”

**

I was rushed into the front seat of Justin’s new car, a brand new white Escalade. I really was nervous and anxious about whatever Justin had planned, but I decided to just go with the flow and let the day continue to go by smoothly. Justin wouldn’t fuck up my birthday to hurt me anyway…. Or would he?

I tapped my nails against my thigh and stared out the window. I had no idea where Justin was taking me, but he seemed to be really excited and genuinely happy. It just seemed so odd to me, I mean maybe I was just afraid of being hurt again, but it just seemed like Justin was jumping from one extreme to the next with me… like last night for instance…

UGH! Men are so fucking confusing.

“So where are we going?” I whined as I got out of the car which Justin was leaving in a small parking garage. Samantha was holding my hand and giggling.

“Daddy… I wanna tell her!”

“No, not yet Princess. We can’t ruin the surprise.” Justin looked over at us and flashed a gorgeous smile my way. I swear, that man makes me weak in the knees with just a glance.

Justin held Nikolas tightly and tipped the garage attendant, probably trying to make sure that his precious new car would be taken care of. Oh, it was so typical of Justin to worry about his material possessions; it made me want to roll my eyes.

“Alright, we’re on our way.” Justin grabbed my free hand when he was done speaking with the parking attendant. A genuine smile adorned his beautiful face making me despise the crossroads I was at. At moments, I just couldn’t stand him and at others I was just so utterly in love with him.

This definitely was not healthy.

**

            I literally felt like all the wind was knocked out of me when I realized where Justin was taking me for my birthday. My dream birthday had always consisted of being taken ice skating on my birthday; this was an especially strong desire in my teen years. I was shocked, was Justin really trying to make things better between us? It seemed that as the moments passed, my confusion only grew.

            “You ready to skate?” The blue-eyed man smiled at me warmly.

            “I haven’t ice skated in years.” I admitted, mentally bracing myself for what I knew would be many falls on the hard ice. “Will the kids be okay to skate?”

            “Yeah, we just need to hold their hands.” He sent a lopsided grin my way. I wanted to melt right there, I hated the affect he had on me.

            Justin had everything ready for us; the skates were rented and we were able to cut the huge line at Rockafellar Center. I was definitely thankful that we didn’t have to wait on that long ass line with two three-year-olds with short attention spans. Not to mention, I had a short attention span of my own.

            “I kinda hope you know that I’m not a good skater.” I giggled as I fastened Nikolas’ ice skates. “I mean I know how, but I fall a lot.”

            “I’ve never been.” Justin admitted and picked up Samantha, who was completely ready to skate. “So I guess I’m gonna be falling with you.”

            The minute we hit the ice, it felt like a second nature. I held onto my son’s hand and glided across the ice with ease. It wasn’t that I was a great skater; it was just that I could balance on the ice. Thankfully my son, who almost fell a few dozen times, held on tightly to me.

            “Mommy! I’m skating!” My son smiled brightly at me, I couldn’t help but to giggle at his happiness. If he only knew that his skated consisted of him gliding along next to me. “Look at Daddy!” My son began laughing like mad and pointing at Justin, who had to hold onto the wall to stand up.

            I decided to skate over to Justin; not to gloat about him not being able to skate, well maybe a little, but honestly just to see if I could help him. Laughing in his face really would cross the line of evil.

            “Having some trouble there?”

            “I see you smirking, that’s not cool!” Justin groaned. “I can’t skate at all… this blows.”

            “No, it doesn’t. You just have to try your hardest to balance…” I smiled at Justin, stifling a giggle. “It’s a lot like rollerblading.”

“Ugh, ice skating is definitely not my thing.”

“Aww, come on Justin! If Sam and Nick can skate so can you.” I held my hand out to Justin and he graciously accepted it. He stared at me for a moment, looking at me the way he used to, with a sense of fervor and appreciation.

Okay, so what I mean by this, is that when Justin and I first met, I seemed to surprise him and apparently had a certain amount of mystery. I guess everyone has a bit of mystery shadowing them and when you first meet someone, you’re constantly trying to figure out the other persons intentions and possibly even try to get into their thoughts. We truly try to get a feel for a person and it was like Justin was trying to get to know me all over again. It was like a look of rediscovery of something long forgotten. But, the way he studied me brought me back to when I was a silly 19 year old girl. I felt like I was someone that had been in a coma for years and finally just woke up and found my life completely different.

“You’re beautiful.” He said softly, causing me to blush and look down at the ice.

“Um… I… I think we’d uh better not stand here. We uh probably could be a hazard to the other…um skaters.”

God! The way he was staring at me…the way I knew he wanted me. It was like he could see right through me and knew exactly what I was thinking. I swallowed hard and glided slowly along the ice, with Justin’s hand in mine.

“Just go slowly… it’s not a race, so take your time.” I smiled at Justin who was on the verge of falling again. “Justin, you don’t have to slide so much, just take slow, easy strides.”

“Mommy! Daddy is a bad skater!” My daughter exclaimed, causing me and Nikolas to giggle.

“That’s not nice, Sa- AHH!” Justin finally lost his balance and took me tumbling down with him.

“Ow!” I whined. “You really are a bad skater.” I quoted my daughter, who was skating along the wall with her brother. She actually wasn’t doing bad, so I didn’t worry about her.

“You’re so mean.” My gangster husband grinned at me as I stood up and helped him to his feet. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”

It was perfect, the ice skating, the beautiful tree in the background and my family with me. I could not have asked for a more perfect birthday.

“Thank you…”

He picked up my chin and causing me to look him right in the eyes. I was so afraid, I wanted to look away from him just because I knew that if this began again, I wouldn’t be able to handle it ending.

I loved him.

Justin kissed me right there, as if soothing my fears. I felt myself shake at the touch of his soft lips, and wanted nothing more but to melt right into him. Did I have a magical birthday?

Without a doubt.