Chapter 4

            Sobbing, I walked into the small coffeehouse and over to David, who had been waiting patiently for me. He quickly grabbed me and looked at me concerned.

            “Natalia, are you alright?”

            “He doesn’t love me… he treats me like his whore. I can’t live like this anymore. He’s fucking breaking my heart…I love him so much and I feel so used.”

            “You mean your husband? What did he do to you?” David stared at me concerned.

            “He makes me feel like a whore. I mean I just spoke to him and I thought I got through to him but he made me feel worthless.”

            “He shouldn’t make you feel like that because you aren’t worthless, Nat.” David grabbed my hand, while I just stared down at the floor with the tears pouring down my face. “You’re an amazing woman and you don’t deserve a life with all this abuse.”

            “It’s like he’s promised me so much and he’s lied continuously.  And right now… we… we had sex and he just basically threw me out of his office after. I really feel like he doesn’t love me anymore.”

            “Oh Natalia… that’s terrible.” He clutched my hand tighter and sighed. “You are a beautiful, young, talented woman and you have so much potential. Don’t let him take that away from you. Because right now I see a shell of what I saw the other day. You have to do what you know in your heart is right and what will make you feel better.”

            I closed my eyes for a moment, letting it register in my head that someone did care about me. I didn’t even understand why. I mean I barely knew David and it felt like he was as close to me as Ricky was.

            “I don’t know what to do to make him change.”

            “Have you tried talking to him?”

            “That’s the thing I have!” I pulled away from David’s grasp and rubbed my tear stained face. I really didn’t even want to see what I looked like at the moment because all I kept imagining was mascara running down my face. “I just tried talking to him and it feels like he just ignored my words.”

            “I don’t know what to tell you Natalia… I wish I could give you advice but either way is not gonna be easy. There are two options… you either stay and try to work it out. And from what you’re telling me right now I don’t think there’s gonna be any changes coming from him.”

            “What’s my other option?”

            David sighed and looked down at the floor, before finally meeting my eyes again. I watched him curiously, unable to believe how sweet he was being to me but still very curious to why. Was their an ulterior motive or had I just become so scarred after all the years of being with Justin?

            “You leave him.”

**

            I drove home in an almost zombie like state. Leaving Justin? That thought had never crossed my mind; I loved Justin with all my heart. He meant the world to me.

            What would I do without him in my life?

            I bit at my lip and continued driving down the narrow road to our house.

            Would it ever come down to me leaving him? I didn’t want to leave him, I wanted things to go back to the way they were and I wanted to just be a family.

            I contemplated pulling over to the side of the road and calling Ricky, but what was he gonna tell me what I already didn’t know? I had two options and I needed to explore them before I decided to do anything.

            Pulling into the driveway, I made my way up to see the twins playing in their huge playroom. I thought it was a little over the top but there was always one good thing about Justin, nothing was too good or too expensive for his babies.

            “Hey guys, whatcha playing?” I smiled and sat down next to them.

            “I wanna play trucks but Sam is not lettin’ me!” Nick said and huffed loudly.

            “Samantha, that’s not nice.” I looked at my daughter who sighed.

            “Fine! I no want to play with you anymore. Nicky is boring!” My two-year-old daughter exclaimed. I let out a small laugh at the craziness of my two children.

            I watched as Nikolas got up and ran to go play with his toy cars. Samantha just kept brushing the hair of her favorite doll.

            What would these two kids do if I left Justin? How would they cope?

            I know the two of them love their father with all their heart. I would feel almost guilty in separating the family when they didn’t even have a chance to enjoy it.

            I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but I didn’t want to keep hurting anymore.

            “I love you Samantha.” I placed a kiss on my daughter’s forehead and she just looked up and smiled at me.

            “I love you too Mommy.”

            I headed over to Nikolas and placed a kiss on his forehead as well. “I love you too Nikolas.”

            “I love you, Mommy.” He grinned at me, and I instantly saw Justin in his smile.

            Even if I left, I’d never be rid of him. These twins would always be reminders of him, because they are as much a part of him as they are of me.

            “Bedtime guys. Sorry.”

            “Ma, no sleep!” Nick pouted.

"Yes, you need to go to sleep cause tomorrow we're going to the park with Aunt Hope and Aunt Savannah. So you have to rest up.” I smiled at my two beautiful children and they instantly gave in at the reminder of going to the park.

“Okay, Mommy.” Samantha, the boss of the two, answered. She was just as demanding and stubborn as her father, hell they both were.

I took the two of them into their huge bathroom and prepared a bath with their favorite bubble bath which was imported from Italy. It was ridiculously expensive, but Justin wanted nothing but the best for his babies.

As I’ve said before, that’s the good thing about Justin; he won’t even flinch when it comes to spending money or doing something for the twins.

I sat and drifted off a little as the twins splashed around in the tub. The two had this special language, ‘Twinish’ as Savannah had dubbed it. All twins usually have their own language to communicate in, and the kids are still pretty young, so they usually speak to each other in half English, half twinish. It’s pretty cute.

“Are my two favorite babies having a bath?” Justin walked into the bathroom, clad in a black suit, dark blue silk shirt, black tie and even one of those fedora hats from the 1930s that Frank Sinatra wore.

The twins just merely giggled in response and splashed around. I didn’t even turn to look at him. I was just so fucking angry.

“Daddy has to go to do some work, but I promise, I’m gonna buy you guys all the toys you want tomorrow, okay?” He knelt down by the tub and gave the both of them a kiss.

“Okay Daddy, I love you.” Sam said and smiled.

“I love you too!” Nikolas grinned at his father.

“Alright guys, be good for Mommy.” He smiled and turned to look at me. “I’m gonna be in late, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.” I said coldly, looking down at my red nails.

“Nat, you okay?”

“Yeah fine.” I answered quickly, not looking up at him.

“Alright, angel, see you later tonight.” He leaned down to give me a kiss but I quickly turned my face.

Justin was beyond hurt when I did this but said nothing. He just walked out of the bathroom and left. Again, he just showed that I mean nothing to him. I felt myself start to cry again, but I quickly wiped away my tears.

I got the kids out of the tub and dressed them for bed quickly. I wanted nothing more then to be in bed myself, but I definitely didn’t want to share it with Justin, so I grabbed some blankets and headed into one of the many TV rooms and drifted off to sleep on the leather couch, with the TV lulling me to sleep.