Chapter 50

            For most of the drive to Riker’s Island, there was complete silence in the car. Justin and Ricky barely spoke other than the exchanging of driving directions. Neither could talk, the impending pressure was too much from them to handle. Justin’s stress level was through the roof. Having to deal with his wife’s rape, his business, his friends and now his wife’s family was growing to be too tedious.

            He needed a long vacation after this was all settled.

            “You don’t have to do this you know… there could be another option.” Ricky looked over at Justin from the passenger’s seat.

            “No… I have to do this. I have to try and make peace with everyone. Natalia needs her family right now, she needs everyone together, supporting her. I want to do my best to give her what she needs.”

            “She needs you, J.”

            “And she has me if she wants me… but Natalia also needs a lot of other supporters in her life right now. I just want to do what’s right for her.” Justin sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I love her so fucking much… Ricky I messed up so badly… getting her brother out of jail doesn’t even come close to making things right…”

            “I highly doubt that… Nat loves you.”

            “Do you even know the fucked up things I’ve done to her? I fucked her and threw divorce papers at her, I almost beat her and most importantly, I am the reason she was raped. I don’t see why she should love me. I’ve done nothing but destroy her life.”

            “You can’t help who you love Justin, you should know that.” Natalia’s best friend put his hand on Justin’s shoulder and smiled weakly. “You both messed up royally because of a major lack of communication. Instead of playing the blame game this time around, why don’t you start new? You both need each other right now.”

           “I guess we’ll take it one step at a time… if there is a step to be taken…” Justin sighed and exited his vehicle, bringing a quick end to the conversation.

            Natalia was obviously Justin’s weakness, now that it had been revealed by his biggest enemies, he feared for her well being. His angel was so weak, maybe she always was. The only thing he was sure about was that he needed to put an end to this so Natalia and his children could truly be safe.

            The two men walked into the jail where they were immediately frisked by the guards. They were physically inspected and sent through a metal detector, until they were cleared. There were guards surrounding them, it almost made Justin worry about his future if he continued with his business.

            “Go and get Inmate 28901, Andrew Miguel Fuentes. Bring him into the visiting area.” The head guard called to another.

            Justin was trying to rid himself of his paranoia. There was no way in hell he could ever end up in the clink. People went crazy in there, people died trying to get out. Justin would be fucking damned if he was in jail unable to protect his family from the dangers. That was his reason for living.

            “J… come on.” Ricky knocked him out of his thoughts and called him towards the open door at the end of the hall. Justin could see Andrew sitting there in handcuffs, looking absolutely miserable.

            “Alright.”

            “It’s gonna be okay. Natalia’s seen him… she said he’s different, he’s calmer…”

            “Well we’re going to have to find that out for ourselves right now.”

            Taking a deep breath Justin followed behind Ricky into the small room. Andrew’s jaw postured tensed when he saw the two men walk into the room. Ricky knew that if this was going to go down in a civilized way, he would have to act as the third party. There didn’t need to be any arguments or fights. This had to be amicable. 

            “Hey Andy… long time no see.” Ricky smiled at his best friend’s brother. Andrew stared at him in silence before speaking.

            “It’s nice to see you, Ricky… but what is that garbage doing here?”

            “This garbage has come to try and make peace. I want to put all the differences aside, Nat needs you right now.” Justin spoke in hushed tone.

            “She’s needed her family all along, did you just stop being selfish and see that?” Andrew mocked Justin, rolling his eyes and tapping his fingers on the white table. “I really don’t have time for this crap and I certainly don’t need this stress right now. Things are good with me and Nat, I’ve always had her back and her best interests at heart.”

            “Really? Then why were you working with the men who just raped her?” Justin’s face hardened. Ricky audibly sighed at the words coming out of Justin’s mouth. This wasn’t the moment to play the blame game, he rested his hand on Justin’s shoulder trying to calm him. “The fucking Lopez boys are scum.”

            “They fucking touched my little sister? Why didn’t anyone fucking call me? When the hell did this happen?” Andrew thought he might break down and cry but he held his emotions in. He couldn’t understand how this could be true. Eduardo was still working with the Lopez Family, how could he allow something like that to happen to Natalia?

            “About two days ago. She’s been in the hospital since then. She’s getting out today but it would be nice if she had her brother with her for support.” Ricky said softly.

            “So you’re going to get me out?”

            “So far it’s a temporary release. There’s “reasonable cause” that you may not have committed attempted murder against me, probably by the end of the day the paper work will be filed and you can go home. So you just have to go along with your original story and you should be fine.” Justin crossed his arms over his chest and stepped closer to Andrew.

            The evidence had been fabricated of course. A video of a bloodied man fleeing the scene was brought to the attention of the police. It hadn’t taken Justin a long time to come up with something like this. Possibly a few hours and Trace was able to complete the little project. He knew the faster Andrew was out of prison, the faster he was able to finish this once and for all.

            Natalia would be happy, her family would be complete again and his true plan would go into motion. Justin would hunt down the Lopez boys as well as Lance and kill them all. What happened to him wouldn’t matter, actually maybe it would. Maybe the Natalia, Nikolas and Samantha would be better off without him.

“I love your sister with all my soul… if taking you out of jail and risking my life means that she’ll be happy… I’ll do that. I’ll do anything for her.”

            “I can see that now…”

            “I just want her to be safe.” Justin sat down across from Andrew. He was sitting at a small white table, one that you’d see at the cafeteria of a middle school. The hospital white walls were almost blinding as the iridescent light reflected off of them. He tried to look away, but all he was reminded of was the next line he was aching to take. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me… but I want to know that she will be protected by everyone that loves her.”

            “You’re going to throw yourself to the wolves, aren’t you?”

            “Like I said, I’d do anything for Nat.” Justin glanced down at the floor, feeling tired from the last two sleepless days he spent at the hospital.

            “Justin you’re talking fucking crazy.” Ricky commented from next to him. Justin rolled his eyes, not saying another word.

            One thing that was certain was that there was an unspoken agreement between Justin and Andrew. A truce all for what was best for Natalia. He just hoped she knew how much he loved her.

**

            Justin and Ricky walked out to his car in silence. It would be an hour before Andrew was to be released and they would wait on Riker’s Island until then. It would be the mother of all surprises for Natalia.

            “You feeling alright, man?” Ricky looked over at Justin who had broken into a sweat and was slightly shaking. He sat in the driver’s seat of his car and stared out into the river.

            “Sure sure. I’m just worried is all.” If Ricky only knew that his problem was due to the fact that he needed a line.

            “Alright… I’m going to go make a call… I’ll be right back.” Ricky looked at Justin with worry and stepped out of the car.

            When Justin was sure Ricky was out of sight, he pulled open his glove compartment and sifted through it with anticipation. He knew he had a small bag of coke in there somewhere. Hopefully it would rid him of this horrible feeling. He’d been without it for a few hours and already he was anxious and dying for it. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea, to snort cocaine in the parking lot of a correctional facility, but he was desperate.

            All he needed to do was hold on for a little longer and then everything would be okay.

            Pouring the contents of the small plastic baggy he found onto a compact mirror, he sifted it into a line. This was taking longer than it had to and Ricky was sure to be back soon. Justin pushed his nose down to the mirror and covered one nostril and inhaled through the uncovered one.

            “Justin… what the fuck are you doing?” Ricky’s mouth dropped as he stared at Justin through the window of the car. Ricky dropped his cell phone to the ground and looked horrified by what he had just witnessed.

            “Fuck.” Justin covered his head with his hands, not sure of how to react in this situation. He knew Natalia was going to find out soon enough and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that. His angel was finally going to see that he was the low life everyone accused him of being.

            “You can’t do this anymore…” Ricky tossed the compact mirror out of Justin’s hands and into the parking lot.

            “You don’t understand, I can’t stop.”

            “Yes you can…I know you can.” Ricky looked at Justin and climbed into the car. “Does she know about this?”

            “No… and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her.”

            “I’m not going to. That’s all on you, Justin. I don’t know how long this has been going on or why you felt the need to turn to drugs for your problems but it’s got to end. This isn’t healthy for you or your family.”

            “I know.”

**

            I laid on my Mom’s living room couch watching 90210 on soapnet. It was like reliving a piece of my childhood. I could remember sitting home on Friday nights watching the show and playing barbies with my childhood friend Laura. My brother would sit in the corner with his Tonka trucks and run over our dolls. My Mom would be making rice crispy treats in the kitchen, her famous “American” recipe that she was so proud of finding on the back of a cereal box. It was a simpler and happier time in my life. I’d give anything to escape back there.

            “How are you feeling, mija?” My Mom asked and sat down next to me on the couch. The twins were in bed so there was nothing for her to do but fawn over me. I loved and hated the attention.

            “Tired.”

            “You should sleep then.”

            “I’m not physically tired… just mentally. My mind is just on overload.” I said honestly.

            “I know.” She hugged me tightly. I rested my head against her shoulder and inhaled a mixture of dove soap and some Christian Dior perfume. “I want to let you know how sorry I am for everything that happened today. I know you’re not a little girl, but I just don’t know how to protect you anymore. I don’t know if I can.”

            “Mom… I’m always your little girl and you can still protect me, I just want you to trust me on some of the decisions I make. Justin is a good guy, no matter how much you hate his career choices… he loves the twins and he proved to me at the hospital that he loves me. Whatever happens with Justin, whether we stay together or break up, he will still have a place in my life and my heart…that will never change.”

            Fuck, I wasn’t ready to have such an emotional conversation so fast. I started to cry and I quickly blotted my eyes. Crying was more proof that I was broken.

            “I know… I’m sorry I was being so stupid. I just see so much of myself and your father in you and Justin. I was so afraid you were going to end up like I did, bitter, used and stuck in a failed marriage, but I realize now that you’re not as similar as I thought you were. You are much smarter than me.” My Mom smoothed my hair and placed a kiss on the top of my head. “I trust you… I should have all along.”

            I hugged my Mom tighter and sighed gratefully. Our touching Mother/Daughter moment would have continued if it wasn’t for the persistent ringing of the doorbell, the one that sounded an awful lot like the one my brother used to do. He claimed he was ringing to a melody but I could never decipher what melody that was.

            “I’ll get it… you sit here okay?” My Mom stood up and walked to the front door nervously. I could tell that the ringing was making her more nervous than usual. She disappeared into the front hall and scream made me jump off the couch and land on the floor. “AYE DIOS MIO!! MI BEBE!!”

            “MOM?!” I screamed. I ignored the pain shooting down my legs and ran into the front room with a fire poker in hands. Whoever was fucking with me this time was not going to get away with it.

            Terror raged through my mind. I couldn’t mentally survive another attack. I’d rather go down fighting then sit back and take it. I had decided that no one was going to hurt me or anyone in my family ever again. I’d kill to make sure of that.

            I held the fire poker next to me as I walked into the front room, shaking with fear. My Mother was still screaming but it was so high pitched that I couldn’t make out what she was saying.

            Andrew was in my front room, hugging our crying Mother. I collapsed against the wall, holding the fire poker to my chest. How was he out of jail? Was he going to get in trouble? What the hell was going on?!

            “Nat? What exactly are you going to do with that? I don’t think that’s very welcoming of you.” Andrew grinned annoyingly at me. I felt like I had walked into a time warp

            “What? How?” Was all that I could get out of my mouth. He walked over to me and pulled the poker out of my hands. Andrew hugged me tightly, whispering consoling words to me but not answering my question.

            My brother was standing here, out of jail and consoling me. It was like the last three and a half years hadn’t happened. It was like I was whole again. My mind was still in anguish, but I felt like I was a different person who could handle it all. A long forgotten person, who was much stronger than this weak girl that had inhabited my body.

            “You can thank Justin for this. He got me out, he’s a good man, Nat. He loves you.”

            My head shot up at the mention of Justin. I had noticed him for the first time standing in my doorway, a smile playing on his perfect lips. He was so beautiful. So perfect. So much like the boy I had fell in love with.

            I wondered if I was dreaming, if this was some cruel trick my mind was playing on me. I couldn’t survive the real world if this was a dream. But if it was a dream, I never wanted to wake up.

            “Thank you.” I mouthed to him, my eyes filled with tears. My Mother even went over to him and hugged him, something I thought I’d never live to see.

            Whatever this was, a dream, reality, I was happier then I had been in a long time.