Chapter 52

            My head was pounding as I ran out the front door into the night. I didn’t even know what I was doing or where exactly I was going, but something possessed me to go. I had this gut wrenching feeling that if I didn’t, things were just going to get worse then they already were. If things got worse, if Justin got hurt throughout this mess, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

            I wished I would have grilled my Mother more about her past with my Father, because now I was just filled with fear. I didn’t want anymore surprises and since my life was paralleled with my Mom’s, maybe I could have been prepared somehow.

            Then again, nothing could have prepared me for the last almost five years of my life.

            Sooner than expected, I had jumped in my car and was quickly speeding down the street towards the highway. I knew soon enough I’d be in the tunnel and in Manhattan. I just hoped I wasn’t going to be too late. After I had gotten my bearings together, I ran out of the house in pajamas and all. It was a good five minutes later, but five minutes could certainly add up.

            Five minutes was enough to end a life.

            I shuddered, hoping and praying that everything would be okay. I had to force myself to believe that it would be. Never in my life did I need a cigarette more than I did at that moment. That old wives tale about cigarettes calming you had to hold some truth right? If I had the luxury of extra time, I’d stop at the nearest corner store and indulge. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that. I was left with my worries to torture me for the rest of the car ride.

            Trust me, the worries did torture me. I had the image in my mind of Justin lying in a bloody pool with AJ standing over his body, laughing manically. I imagined myself running into the room, screaming my head off. The bile rose in my throat at the thought of Justin dead on the floor; his beautiful face growing paler and colder by the passing second.

            I’d kill before I let that happen to the father of my children, the love of my life. Gladly would I seal my fate to prison or hell (if there was a God); I would do anything for Justin. How could I not be sure of that? How could anyone even doubt me when I claimed that? I think I more than proved myself that I was not sane when it came to Justin.

            I hadn’t realized that I had been shaking almost the entire drive. It was a miracle that I didn’t run my car off the road from mere nerves. Someone give me a bottle of vodka, I totally needed to calm the fuck down.

            I was nearing my destination on Lexington Avenue. I pulled out cell phone and called Tommy in the meantime. If something bad happened, I needed to make sure that someone would bail me out.

            Shuddering, I tried not to think of the last time I went to talk to Justin. Unquestionably that had been the worst day of my life. I wouldn’t let there be a repeat of that, I’d rather die first.

            “Hey Nat… how are you feeling?” Tommy’s Irish accent never failed to make me smile.

            “I’m… uh… ok,” I lied, not wanting to divulge into my feelings of lament and pain. “The funniest thing just happened to me, Tommy. I got in my car and I started driving. Do you know where I ended up?”

            “No… where?” He asked with an edge of confusion to his voice.

            “Well, I’m in Manhattan…I’m actually approaching Lexington Avenue and East 65th.”

            Silence was what I was met with; I checked my phone to make sure that the call wasn’t disconnected. That would defeat the entire purpose of the call. Tommy had to know. If I failed, I needed back up for Justin. I needed to save a life.

            “Natalia, don’t go in there. Stay outside.” The demanding voice of the man who had kidnapped me boomed through my cell phone. I swallowed hard, fighting any desire to listen to his advice. Justin needed me, and I had to stop him.

            “Just worry about trying to get here as fast as you can.”

“NO! LISTEN TO ME, STAY OUT OF THERE!”

“NO, you listen to me!” Tommy was startled by my tone, so I continued. “Are they on the penthouse floor?” He didn’t respond and I knew that there was my answer. Those idiots obviously wouldn’t keep a low profile. “Thanks Tommy.” Swiftly I hung up the phone and pulled up to the front of the apartment building. It wasn’t difficult to locate it either. The men in suits, casually surveying the perimeter gave it away quickly.

People were screaming at me and telling me I couldn’t park there. I shrugged and told them to tow me. It was quite possible that I wouldn’t need a car where I was going anyway. I stepped on the asphalt street, still in my pink fuzzy slippers and bathrobe. I assumed I looked crazy to the few bystanders out at 3 am. I didn’t care. Not a single thing they thought or said mattered anyway.

            I was running into the building, my hands shaking as I dialed a number familiar to everyone. 911. Its funny how everyone has that number drilled into their head as children but thankfully never gets to use it. This was my time to use the number. Maybe I’d be overreacting, but I didn’t care. The only thing I could truly think about was that Justin was in danger.

            I was clearly out of my fucking mind. After all he put my through, I still managed to care about him, to want to forgive him and most importantly put his safety over my own.

            “Excuse me, I need to report an emergency…” I stepped into the elevator and hoped that I wouldn’t be too late.

**

            Justin had made it into the apartment building/ hideout of the Lopez boys completely undetected. Sneaking in through the side entrance was simple enough, but making it past the strategically past goons was the most difficult part. Still, Justin kept up a stealth like stance and raced up the 20 plus flights of stairs.

            He felt like he was invincible; like absolutely no one could stop him. He’d laugh in the face of anyone that tried. Justin would avenge the men that tortured his wife and broke up his family. No one would be left standing.

            Not even close to winded, Justin made it up the stairs in record time. Tommy had told him the exact apartment number and floor that the men were on; it took him an excruciating 20 minutes to get the location. He fueled his anger, replaying the torture of the last year of his life. The threats, the problems with his business, the man that stole his wife and poisoned him, his wife’s rape; that was all he needed to think about to grow enraged. David Boreanaz was going to die tonight as well as that bastard McLean.

            It was finally going to end tonight. Vengeance would be sought for his wife and his children.

            Justin pulled his 9mm gun out of his pocket, made sure to cock it and readily walked to the penthouse door. He swallowed hard, knowing that there was no reason to be scared. He had to be a man and face the problem that he had helped to create. It was the only way he could secure the safety of his family.

            He breezed through the doorway, a vicious smile on his handsome face. Justin stared at David, AJ and a handful of their employees crowded around them. He moved fast, almost too quick for them to even notice him. Two gunshots and two of the men standing around David and AJ fell to the ground.

            “Well hello boys, sorry to interrupt.”

            “Figures you would come in here fighting dirty.” AJ spat at him, practically running across the room, reaching for a gun. Justin shot at him again, his entire stature contorted with pure hate.

            These men were like roaches, they needed to be eliminated one by one.

            “Fuck you, McLean!” Justin screamed, pressing the trigger, he didn’t go after a moving target this time, he went after David who was standing perfectly still and looking alarmed. David screamed as the bullet went through his thigh. “Either of you make another move and I kill you both slowly.”

            “Yeah, it doesn’t work that way, Timberlake.” Launching himself from across the room, AJ jumped on Justin and knocked the gun out of his hand.

            Normally Justin would have never let a fatal mistake like this happen, but he was so loopy from the drugs that he truly didn’t know what was happening. Justin writhed on the floor, trying to move out of AJ’s grasp. He sucked in a deep breath, knowing well that he had fucked up.

            At least JC, Tommy and Trace could take care of this mess he created. He could only hope for a quick death. Justin gave up hope and accepted that this would possibly be the end for him. He wasn’t immortal or indestructible, he was a brash idiot.

            Thoughts of Natalia filled his mind. He could have been lying in bed with her, sleeping, safe and warm. Now he’d never get to do that again. He had truly fucked up by playing a game he simply could not handle.

            “I’m going to murder you with my bare hands. When I’m done tearing you from limb to limb… I’m going to make sure little Natalia and the brats find you.”

            Closing his eyes, he felt AJ’s hands tighten around his throat. “May death come quickly…” He begged the long forgotten God of his childhood. If he wasn’t such a fucked up person, and in a fucked up state of mind, maybe that would have been possible.

**

            I raced out of the elevator, the sound of multiple gunshots frightening me. Was I too late? Was Justin dead or had he done something that would save us all? I shivered as I ran, fighting back the tears in my eyes. This just couldn’t be happening right now. My fragile mind couldn’t handle any more tragedy. It would break me for good if losing Justin was the latest blow.

            No, I could never allow that to happen.

            Several more gun shots alerted me that something terrible was occurring. My heart began to pound as I wondered if anything I was about to do could actually help. Would I end my life in vein or would it buy Justin a few minutes?

            There was no time for second thoughts, especially negative ones. I forced myself to keep going. It was like that book “The Secret’ that my Mother was so obsessed with. If you continually drill into your mind that something positive will happen, then it will. Honestly, I think that book is a load of crap but it was the only thing I could hold onto at that moment.

            “Justin, Justin, Justin… you lose your woman, control of your business and your life. How fucking tragic for you. If you would have learned to play fair, maybe none of this wouldn’t have happened… wait, it would have.” AJ, the man who raped me, cackled as he choked my husband.

            Justin clawed at the hands on his neck, desperately trying to wiggle out of the strong grip. What the fuck was this? Justin was able to break down solid wood doors and dent my car, why couldn’t he get out of something as simple as this. I stood frozen, not even realizing that I had been screaming at the top of my lungs the entire time.

            AJ’s eyes met mine and a shiver flew down my spine. No, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t let him affect me. Tears were falling down my face and the memories, no the nightmares were invading my mind. I was reliving my rape; I could feel his hands on me, tainting my skin, searing the flesh.

            “Look at what the cat dragged in… the best fuck I ever had.”

            I didn’t realize that I would react this way when I saw AJ again. I didn’t think I was that scarred. I hoped my resilience would have kept me strong, but it failed me. My emotions ranged from shock, distress and finally rage. The rage is what fueled me to do what I did next. Clearly I acted on my passion, I did something I never thought I was capable of doing.

            AJ McLean Lopez went on to continue his tirade against Justin; screaming loud how he’d kill him and fuck me on his grave. Justin struggled harder but it wasn’t enough. Just as I had predicted all along, it was in my hands.

            “DAVID! Stop fucking around and grab the bitch!”

            My eyes fell upon a gun, lying on the floor next a few inches away from my feet. A grin as wide as the Grinch’s, formed on my lips. It didn’t take long for me to come up with a plan that would change my life. I kneeled down and picked the gun up. I didn’t think about the consequences, I didn’t care. I only wanted revenge. I wanted this piece of shit that hurt me and my family to lie six feet under.

            I shakily cocked the gun before anyone could even look at me. I suddenly felt powerful, like I could do anything. I was so deluded, so absolutely gone at that moment. I couldn’t even begin to tell you what went through my mind; it was like all the sanity had left me.

            I fired the gun, my body shaking from anger. Every emotion was passing through my veins like venom, sure to kill me if I didn’t get it out fast enough. I pulled the trigger again and again, not realizing that I was once again screaming. My eyes were pouring out the tears at a fast rhythm, I’m sure they probably looked like a turned on faucet.

            Nothing mattered, just the moment which seemed to play out in slow motion. AJ’s menacing smile was haunting me, his mouth continued to move in a taunting manner but I couldn’t hear him. I was too delirious with hate, too lost in my painful memories.

            His hands were on me when I didn’t want them to be. He forced himself inside me and it felt like he was burned inside me forever. I relived the memories, the slaps to the face as he held me down at gunpoint and invaded me with his disgusting phallus. AJ raped me, he was trying to kill the love of my life and destroy my family.

            I glanced at Justin’s face which was filled with worry. His eyes were pleading with me to stop, but I couldn’t. It was impossible.

I heard Justin scream, “NO!” It brought me back to reality, back to the scene which was playing out before my eyes.

            AJ fell suddenly limp on Justin. I stood over them, breathing heavily and shaking. Tears fell down my face as I continued to press the trigger to the now empty gun.

            “Nat, what did you do?” The gun was still clutched tightly in my grasp. I swallowed hard and looked at Justin who was unharmed and shakily climbing to his feet.

            “He’ll never touch us again…”

            Justin grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. I was trembling as he whispered soothing words to me. I felt no remorse for what I had done. I wasn’t sure if that made me a bad person, to have killed someone and have no feeling of regret. I mean, I rid the world of a rapist, of a murderer; does that constitute me as a hero? Or does that not even matter?

            I swallowed hard, tightening my grip on the gun when Justin attempted to pull it out of my hand. “Angel, you need calm down.”

            Angel? Is that what I was? An angel who doubled as a killer? I blinked in silence and loosened the grip on the gun. I forced myself to nod my head in agreement; I did need to calm down. I needed to calm down and check my ass into therapy. There was no way I was going to get away unscathed.

            I held onto Justin tighter, burying my face into his shoulder. I kept trying to force myself to be okay but clearly I wasn’t. Would I ever be okay? I mean I was raped and now I fucking killed someone. I’d thought being kidnapped was something but this is on another level.

            I think Justin was too shocked to say anything else other than “It’s going to be okay.” Was it really going to be okay though? He couldn’t promise me that. Ignore me for whining but I think my nerves have truly had enough.

            “NYPD, we received a phoned complaint, please open the door!”

            I swallowed hard and turned to Justin. He had turned completely white. FUCK! I called the police, I completely messed up.

            It was time to accept my fate, jail for the rest of my life. Would they go easy on me? Doubtful, I was a Mafia Don’s wife. They’d prosecute me extra hard now to set an example, to hurt Justin. I held onto Justin tightly, wishing this all away.

            Sometimes, wishes don’t come true; this was one of those times.