Chapter 8

            I was spending the day with the twins, lounging about David’s backyard with the twins. I had my cell phone with me that was filled with missed calls from Justin.

            As far as I knew, he had no idea where I was and I was intending to keep it that way. I was going to push Justin out of my head and just think about me for the time being.

            I mean I wasn’t kidding myself, I knew I was going to have to deal with Justin eventually. I couldn’t keep him from the kids forever. But for now I wanted to chill out.

            I didn’t want to have a break down… or that’s what David told me. He’s been my rock through this whole thing.

            And the kiss… well…it hasn’t really been discussed since it happened. The two of us have been acting like nothing but the sexual tension has been mounting.

            “Mommy…” Nikolas called to me from the pool. I looked up from reading Cosmo and smiled at him.

            “Yes baby?”

            “I miss Daddy…I wanna go home.” Nikolas pouted at me. Samantha just looked at me doe-eyed and I really didn’t know what to say.

            I mean I didn’t want to fuck my kids up worse than they already were. So I figured this was the best thing to tell them.

            “I know but aren’t you having fun on vacation with me and Uncle David?”

            “Yea…”

            “Then don’t worry about it silly.” I forced a smile. “Come give Mommy a hug.”

            Nikolas ran and hugged me and I couldn’t help but to feel like I wanted to break down and sob. My kids were having their already dysfunctional worlds turned upside down.

            But if it weren’t for their dirt-bag father cheating and putting his fucking business as the first priority, this wouldn’t be happening. 

            Just then, my cell phone started ringing to the sound of “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day. I glanced at the caller ID and saw Ricky’s name flashing.

            “Nicky go play with Sammie. She looks lonely. Okay?” My son nodded at me and I proceeded to pick up my ringing cell phone. “Hey Pato Malo.”

            “How’s it going, Nat?”

            “Same ol’, being depressed and unable to fathom that the so called “love of you’re life” would betray you so much.”

            “Bitter still?”

            “Very much so.” I sighed. “I don’t know. It’s just been hard…but I’ve been getting better.”

            “You do sound better. I just wish I could be watching out for you.” Ricky sighed and I could picture him rubbing his forehead. The poor guy was so stressed from work. I felt like an uber bitch for adding to it with my problems.

            But then again, I knew Ricky and I knew that he didn’t care about stress or any of that bullshit. All that mattered to him was that I was okay. I mean he was seriously ready to blow off work and just get the kids and me the hell out of here. I couldn’t let him do that.

            “I know…but think about it… you have vacation in like what… two weeks. Then you could come down here… or hell… maybe I’ll go to you sooner.”

            “Natalia, I wish I could just be there for you right now. Cause if I know you, you’re taking things tough and bottling it up.”

            “No…I mean, David and I have been talking about it a lot and he’s been helping me out.” I twirled a strand of my dark red hair and sighed.

            “I don’t know this guy so I can’t say anything about him. But I am gonna give you this piece of advice. Watch yourself, don’t get involved with anyone too soon Nat.”

            “I’m not…I mean he’s a great guy and I’m so thankful for him taking care of me and being by my side through this. But I’m not ready and he knows that.”

            “Alright babe. But still, you’ve heard my warning. It’s you’re life to live.”

            “I know, Rick and you know I always listen to you. I respect your advice babe.”

            “I know that and I’m trying not to be a royal prick here.” Ricky said. “And Justin keeps fucking calling my house. Thank God for caller ID.”

            “I know that feeling. I really have no idea how many missed calls I’ve had from him.” Staring down at the picture of Jessica Simpson on the cover of Cosmo, I sighed.

            She was so fucking lucky to have a guy like Nick, who loved her and would do anything for her. Especially a guy that did that and was brutally hot.

            I guess that was only a dream.

            “You have to talk to him sooner or later.”

            “Yeah well, I’m aiming more for the later part.”

            “Understandable, but don’t wait too long. You don’t want him to do something crazy because you know how he is.”

            “Sadly… I do know how he is.” I covered my face with my hands. “Listen Rick, I’m gonna go spend some time with the twins. Don’t worry about me… I’m fine, okay?”

            “Alright… bye Nat. Take care of yourself.”

            I hung up the phone and stared into space for a moment. I couldn’t handle the life Justin was in, I never could. I knew this from day one, when I was kidnapped. But what the hell drew me to him?

            What was it that made me so attracted to Justin? Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. Justin and I were over and done with. There was no chance in salvaging this. Hell, I didn’t even want to. I was fed up.

            My cell started ringing again and I answered it.

            “Forget to warn me about something, Ricky?” I said half jokingly, half serious.

            “Natalia…” I heard a familiar voice with a slight southern twang to it.

            I knew who it was and my eyes closed almost immediately. I didn’t really know what to do. I could hang up or listen. Either of which were probably not going to get him off my back.

            “Natalia talk to me… I know you didn’t hang up.”

            “No, Justin, you’re right. I didn’t hang up.” I said coldly.

            I don’t know why I stayed on the phone or listened to a thing he had to say. I shouldn’t have, but either way, Justin wasn’t going to win. I wasn’t going to go back to him like he wanted.

            He fucking cheated on me with the fucking baby sitter. No words could describe how betrayed and dirty I felt. Or how stupid I had to have been to have believed that he would never hurt me.

            I had been living in a fairy tale.

            “I’m sorry… I really don’t know how to express to you how sorry I am…”

            “Save it Justin. Because I’ve heard the “I’m Sorry” bullshit many times and frankly, I don’t believe you. I just want to know why me? Why did I have to be the one that you married? What was so good about me? Was it that I was an easy lay or maybe it was because I was so fucking gullible?”

            “No Natalia… I married you because I love you and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I still do.”

            “I don’t like liars Justin.” I said through clenched teeth. “Because if you were really happy with me you wouldn’t have fucked Paris.”

            “I always wanted you, Nat. Always, you’re my angel… you know that. You’re the one I want to be with forever.”

            “LIAR!!!” I suddenly burst out. I grabbed my cell phone and snapped it shut. With that I proceeded to cry like a baby.

            Maybe Justin and I didn’t have the perfect life but we were happy. Why did that have to change? Why did he have to sleep with Paris? Why did he have to break my heart?

            Questions but never a single answer. Maybe I’ll never have an answer. Maybe the answer lies within me.

            I guess I should have known all along. I should have listened to my Mother and even my brother who was rotting in jail. Even my Uncle Eduardo was right.

            I was just wrong about everyone and everything. Just a plain fuck up.

            My phone started to ring again but I ignored it. I knew it was Justin trying to apologize or some bullshit. I didn’t want to hear it.

            I guess it really was the end of me and Justin. I mean a part of me hoped that maybe time would heal the wounds but it hadn’t, and I really didn’t want to try anymore.

            I had said once before that Justin was on his last chance and I had to stand firm to my decision. Justin and I just didn’t work as a couple.

            Easier said then done actually falling through with what one says.