Mayra angrily closed the paperback novel in her hands.  She was going to kill Kelsey when she got back to New York.  Okay, so she wasn't going to kill her best friend, but she wasn't going to be taking any more book recommendations from the girl anytime soon, that was for sure!  Only two pages in and Mayra knew she was in trouble.  She leaned her head back against the lounge chair she was sitting in and blew out a breath, trying to push the unwanted thoughts from her mind.  It had been three years.  Surely enough time had passed that she could sit here, on the beach, soaking in the sun, listening to the sounds of the ocean, and read a trashy romance novel without her thoughts automatically turning to him. 

Obviously not.  She mused. 

As had been her curse since she had first met him, anytime she read a book--no matter how the author described the hero--Mayra always pictured him.  That dark hair that he usually kept short but would curl when it was wet or whenever he let it grow out.  Dark blue eyes that seemed to always see straight into her soul and offered her his in return.  Those full lips that were so often turned up in that adorable and knee-melting smile he was known for--the smile that had completely captivated her the moment they had met.  His strong chin and that distinctive profile of his that made him look like her own personal Greek god.

"Usted es muchacha loca que va." Mayra muttered under her breath, her native Spanish rolling off her tongue as she placed a hand against her forehead and closed her eyes.  You are going crazy, girl.  She shook her head back and forth in self-recrimination.  Crazy.  That's what she felt like.  She was going crazy.  Why?  She questioned, looking up at the sky.  Why, after all this time, was she still plagued with thoughts of what used to be?  They had had their chance and it wasn't meant to be.  She knew she had made a mistake but why couldn't she let it go?  Why couldn't she forget about him?   She was twenty-five, for crying out loud!  She was in the prime of her life.  She should be out, having the time of her life right now.  She should be partying, meeting new people, having adventures, discovering herself and the world around her-doing all the things she told him she needed to do! 

But instead where am I?  She questioned, looking around.  Sitting on the beach in Hawaii, all alone, wallowing in old memories.  She was taunting herself--torturing herself with images of what would could have been and what never would be again. 

"Watch out!" 

Mayra jumped, and let out a startled yelp, as a red Frisbee suddenly came flying towards her--pulling her forcefully from her thoughts as it landed in the sand beside her chair.  She placed a hand against her chest in an attempt to slow her heart rate, as she watched Ethan ran up to retrieve the toy.  "Sorry, Mayra!"  The child apologized--giving her his lopsided grin before throwing the Frisbee back to his brother, Richard. 

"It's okay, hun." Mayra replied with a smile.  "Where's Cassie?" She asked the boy as she put her hand up to shield her eyes and surveyed the expanse of sand in front of her.  She had forgotten for a moment, until Ethan and Richard's errant Frisbee came flying at her, the reason she was here in the first place.  She felt guilty for neglecting her responsibilities.

"Over there." Ethan pointed to a cluster of large rocks at the water's edge.  "Lookin' at some anan...ematies." 

Mayra chuckled at the boy's mispronunciation of the word.  Bless his heart.  She thought with a shake of her head.  "An-em-o-nes." She corrected him, sounding out each syllable as she spotted his younger sister down by the tide pools.  The little girl saw Mayra and waved-the happy grin on her face evident from where Mayra was sitting.  She waved back at Cassie.    

"Whatever."  The ten year old said, waving his hand through the air and drawing Mayra's attention back to himself.  "She's over there." 

"Come on, Ethan!" Richard called out from his place a few yards away.

"Coming!" Ethan exclaimed. 

"Don't go too far!"  Mayra called after the boys.  She squinted up at the late afternoon sun.  "It's almost time to meet your parents for dinner."

Ethan turned and waved, to indicate he had heard her, and then continued to run over to his brother.  Mayra chuckled as she watched the boys for a moment-envying their youth and carefree abandon.  She hoped childhood lasted a long time for these kids.  Being and "adult" have having live with the consequences of your decisions was something Mayra wished she could forego sometimes.  Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back.  Intent on enjoying the remaining time they had on the beach she tried to clear her mind and listened as Ethan, Richard, and Cassie laughed and played at the water's edge. 

She had taken the job as the nanny for the three Princeton children just over a year ago.  She had finally finished her degree in elementary education but with the economy the way it was, and school districts laying off more teachers than they were hiring, she had been forced to look for alternative jobs.  A friend had suggested she look into a position as a nanny since she loved kids and had the talent and patience necessary to work with them.  She was young, she was single-why not take the opportunity to travel and see the world a bit?  So, Mayra had applied with the agency her friend had suggested.  She had interviewed with a few families before deciding to accept the position that the Princeton's offered her. 

John and Marie Princeton paid her well to look after their three children, plus she was given her own living suite inside their lavish Manhattan penthouse, free use of one of the family's three Bentley's, all expenses paid vacations wherever the family decided to travel, and two nights off a week.  Mayra felt like she had won the lottery!  She couldn't have asked for a better position and she had quickly fallen in love with the then eleven-year-old Richard, nine-year-old Ethan, and five-year-old Cassidy Princeton.  She had thrown herself into the job, hoping this would finally be what she needed to move on and get over the failed relationship in her past that insisted on haunting her.

She was still waiting for that to happen.

Every night when she closed her eyes, she wished could go back and change what had happened.  Every night she was plagued with dreams of what could have been.  Every day those two words echoed in her head:  what if...

They had met four years ago.  She had been out, celebrating with a couple friends, and he had been in town on business.  That club on 42nd Street quickly became "Their Bar"--the place they would go whenever he was in town.  She had run into him, literally, and the sudden and instantaneous sparks that had ignited between them had been hot.

Mayra had often joked about one day meeting the man that had captured her eyes and her devotion from the first day she's heard his voice on the radio and seen his face on her TV.  She had joked about it, but never actually believed it would happen, and was caught off guard when it did.  He had a name and face that was recognized by millions the world over.  What were the chances they would ever run into each other?

~~~~~~~~~

"Twenty-one!" Mayra said, lifting her second Long Island Tea of the evening in salute.  The two other people at the table with her lifted their glasses in toast.  "Here's to finally being able to drink legally!"

"Whoo!" Kelsey, Mayra's best friend since freshman year of high school, cheered as she clinked her glass with Mayra's then took a beer.  "About damn time!" She exclaimed loudly over the noise and music in the club.  She swayed  a bit and Mayra chuckled to herself.  Kelsey was such a light-weight--barely two beers in and she was getting tipsy. 

"You're telling me." Mayra replied.

"No more risking jail time, providing alcohol to a minor." Garret, Kelsey's live-in boyfriend supplied with a smile and a wink.  He lifted his glass and the girls raised theirs in salute.

"I appreciate y'alls sacrifice over the years--"

"Y'all?" Kelsey teased, cutting Mayra off with a giggle.

"Shut up." Mayra rolled her eyes though she couldn't help chuckling.  People were always thrown when she said something that brought out her Southern upbringing.  Her Mexican heritage made people assume she would have an accent--just not one from Georgia.  She couldn't help it and she couldn't escape it.  She had hoped that by moving to New York and attending NYU, her unique background would just blend into the melting pot that was The Big Apple...but Kelsey was always around to remind her of the fact that she was a walking contradiction.  Mayra chuckled to herself.  Sometimes she felt like one of those Starburst commercials...

"I'm just teasin' ya, girl." Kelsey said with another giggle as she put her arm around Mayra's shoulders.  "You know I think your accent is hot." She continued with a smile.  "My cute, little Southern Mexican." She said tweaking Mayra's nose. 

"Get off me, ho!" Mayra laughed as she shrugged Kelsey off and pushed her back against Garret.  "Control your woman, Garret." She said as Kelsey sat down in the guy's lap.

"Yeah, Garret." Kelsey said, turning in his lap and throwing her arms around his neck.  "Control me." She said, her voice lowering seductively as she wiggled her eye brows suggestively at him.  She kissed him and Garret laughed as he shook his head. 

"I think you've reached your limit." He told Kelsey. 

"No, I haven't." Kelsey disagreed with a shake of her head-her blonde ponytail swinging back and forth.  "I wanna dance!"  She proclaimed, jumping up from his lap.  "Come on!"  She said, pulling on Garret's hand.  "You too, birthday girl!"  She said, turning to Mayra. 

"Sorry, Kels." Mayra said, holding up her hands to ward the girl off.  "Unlike you, I haven't reached my limit yet.  I want a few more drinks before I get to the dancing part of this party."

"Okay." Kelsey shrugged.  "Come on, hot stuff." She said, turning her attention back to Garret.

Mayra laughed as she watched Kelsey and Garret disappear into the crowd down on the dance floor.  She found her hips moving along to the beat of the current song pumping through the club and smiled.  Despite what she had just told her best friend, Mayra couldn't help dancing for a moment before she turned and began making her way over to the bar.  This was the first time she was legally able to buy her own alcohol and--though she'd been drinking since she was a teenager-she was determined to take full advantage of this moment.  She knew she was going to pay for it in the morning but she didn't care.  She had every intention of making this a night to remember.  Or not remember.  She thought with a laugh. 

"Long Island Tea." She said, ordering another of her favorite drinks.  Her limit was usually five and since this was only her third she had a while to go before she started to act like Kelsey.  Right now she was just feeling good.  As she waited for the bartender, Mayra began moving again to the beat surrounding her. 

"That top looks great on you."

Mayra turned to look at the guy next to her.  She eyed him--her gaze traveling over his receding hairline, glasses that looked like they had originally been purchased in 1984, the tight light blue T-shirt that he probably thought made him look hot but in actuality only accentuated his impressive middle, and his glazed over expression.  His left hand was wrapped around a beer bottle and she let out a quiet snort of laughter as she rolled her eyes--turning back to the bar. 

"But it would look even better on my floor." The guy finished.  Mayra rolled her eyes again.  Is that the best you can do?  She wanted to ask him.  "Whatdya say?" He asked, his speech slurring as he leaned closer to her.  He looked at her expectantly as he lifted the bottle in his hand to his lips.

"Sure." Mayra said nodding as she accepted her drink from the bartender.  She took a sip and wanted to laugh at the look on the guy's face.  He thought she was serious!  As if...she thought, fighting back a shudder.  "That way you can slip into something better, too." She continued.  "Like a coma." She gave him a sickly sweet smile as she turned.  She took a step, running right into someone else.

Someone who smelled incredible!

The intoxicating and spicy scent of his aftershave surrounded her as a pair of hands reached out to steady her, gripping her upper arms.  Mayra's eyes lifted to meet his.  The air left her lungs and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his blue eyes looking at her through the wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. 

"I-I-I..."  Mayra finally closed her mouth and nodded her head.  Her heart skipped in her chest as the corners of his lips lifted in a knee-melting smile.  "I'll grant you, that was a pretty bad pick up line." He continued with a chuckle and a hint of teasing sparkle in his eyes.  "But did you really have to break that guy's heart like that?" He questioned.  "Look at him." He gestured with his chin over her shoulder.  Mayra turned her head to look at Mr. Cheesy-Pick-Up-Line who was still sitting at the bar, nursing his beer.  "The guy's totally crushed."  She turned back to those blue eyes and Mayra felt her stomach quiver as she realized just how close she was to him.  His hands were still wrapped around her forearms as she was all but plastered up against his chest.  Mmmm...and what a chest it is.  Whew, lordy!  I could stay like this forever...

Shaking the thoughts from her head Mayra attempted to gain control of her emotions.  Get a hold of yourself.  She demanded.  Nothing is going to happen.  He's a celebrity!  "He'll get over it." Mayra finally said.  She smiled.  "I'm Mayra." She told him. 

"JC." He supplied, finally releasing her as he took a small step backwards and held out a hand in greeting.  She took it--trying to ignore the shiver that skirted down her spine at the contact--and bit back a smirk as she watched his eyes quickly give her the once over.  The spark of desire that replaced the earlier look of teasing let her know he liked what he saw.  She straightened slightly as she met his gaze without hesitation.  She had specifically chosen to wear her favorite pair of jeans tonight--the ones that made her ass look amazing--and the black halter top-the one that showed off her all her other curves--because she knew she looked good.  She had hoped it would pay off--that she would be able to find someone worth going home with, to help celebrate her birthday to the fullest extent.  Little did she know she would be running into the man of her dreams. 

Literally. 

He looked amazing. 

No.  Mayra corrected herself.  Amazing isn't the right word.  Incredible, mouth-watering, delicious, tantalizing, captivating...her mind ran through all the adjectives she could think of to describe the man standing in front of her.  She couldn't help doing to him what he'd just done to her.  Her eyes ran over him from head to toe--his short, dark hair; those mesmerizing blue eyes of his; that perfect mouth lifted into the sexiest grin she'd ever seen on a man; a hint of scruff on his cheeks and chin that had her fingers itching to run over; his broad shoulders and that firm chest she had run into earlier covered by the light blue button up--his ever present Leo necklace and just a hint of dark hair peeking out from beneath the fabric.  Mayra had to swallow the sudden excess moisture in her mouth as her eyes continued their perusal.  The worn jeans and the thick leather belt he wore sat low on his hips, his feet covered in a simple pair of black Chuck Taylors.  He was perfection personified.  Her eyes lifted to once more meet his and Mayra felt a spark of something light the air between them. 

JC's grin widened slightly and he turned, gesturing for her to follow him.  She did so, unable to stop herself even if she had wanted to.  He reached for her hand as they moved towards the back of the club and Mayra had to bite her lip to keep in the excited giggle that wanted to escape. 

JC Chasez was holding her hand!

~~~~~~~~

Ethan let out a yell and Mayra was once again pulled from her thoughts.  She angrily pushed the memories away--resolving, once again, to leave the past where it belonged.  All this is doing is just reaffirming how much of an idiot I am.  She thought.  Watching as the kids played for a moment, she reached for and picked up her previously discarded book.  She flipped it open and began reading again, needing something-anything-to distract her.

When Serena saw him all the old emotions came flooding back like a waterfall over a bridge.  She was transfixed with his blue eyes that blazed into hers, that made her feel weak at the knees.  She knew that he wasn't a dream, that he was very much real.  The image of him that she'd conjured up in her dream was far more different than reality.  His gaze filled her with a heated passion...she melted at the sight of him...

With a growl of frustration, Mayra threw the book as far as she could and made a mental note to avoid the author in the future.  "Is this a joke?" She exclaimed, yelling the question out to the cosmos.  She scrubbed her hands over her face.  "Blue eyes?  He had to have blue eyes?!"  Her eyes once again looked up at the sky.  "Estoy condenado." She lamented.  I'm doomed.  It was like fate was bound and determined to make sure she never forgot.  Try as she might she was quickly coming to the realization that she was doomed to forever be haunted by the ghosts of her past.  

A cloud suddenly moved in front of the sun, casting a shadow over Mayra and she looked up in confusion.  There had been no clouds in the sky a moment ago.  She turned her head to the side--her eyes traveling up and over the pair of pale legs that were dusted with dark hair standing in front of her.  Her gaze continued over the pair of black cargo shorts sitting low on his slim hips, and the simple V-neck white T-shirt he was wearing that showed off his chest and shoulders.  Mayra swallowed as a wave of familiarity washed over her. 

She knew this body. 

At one point, she had known it as well as her own.  Her mouth went dry and her heart began fluttering nervously in her chest.  Finally her eyes connected with his and she feared for a moment that she was going to pass out.  Am I dreaming? She wondered, thinking perhaps she had fallen asleep a moment ago.  This couldn't be real. 

"Was the book really that bad?" He asked with a soft chuckle and Mayra felt her cheeks instantly warm.  He had seen her outburst.  How long had he been standing there?  Had he heard her talking to herself?  Damn he looked great!  Her earlier thoughts and memories did not do him justice.  She had forgotten how blue his eyes were, and the way they had of always making her heart skip erratically and her stomach to do somersaults.  He continued looking at her and Mayra found she couldn't breathe, couldn't form a complete sentence.  "Hello, Mayra."  He said and she felt a wave of goose bumps rush over her at hearing him say her name once again.  He remembered her name.  "It's been a long time."