Mayra awoke the next morning to the sound of Cassie giggling.  With a groan she rolled over.  Burying her head beneath the pillow, she reached out blindly with one hand--searching for her cell phone to check the time.  Her fingers felt around for the nightstand.  She finally found it, knocking over the empty tequila bottle that she had set there before she had finally passed out last night in the process.  "Shit." She muttered under her breath as she lifted her head slightly to peek out from beneath the pillow. 

She heard Cassie giggle again.  "You said a bad word." The six-year-old stated in a sing-song voice. 

Mayra sat up in surprise, pushing her hair back from her face as she looked in the direction Cassie's voice had come from.  She looked at the little girl who was perched on the end of the other queen sized bed in her hotel room, her attention focused on the television screen in front of her.  "What are you doing in here, munchkin?" Mayra mumbled as she finally found her cell phone and grabbed it from off the nightstand.  She groaned as she looked at the time: 7:08, then flopped back against her pillow again, placing an arm across her eyes.  With the night she had had it was way too early to have to be awake and starting the day.    

"Richard and Ethan are watching Avatar." Cassie replied.  Mayra lifted her arm and looked at the little girl as she pointed towards the open door that adjoined the two hotel rooms.  "But I wanted to watch Spongebob." Cassie replied. 

"Where are your parents?" Mayra asked through a yawn.

"They left." Cassie answered simply.  Mayra rolled her eyes.  While she was glad to have a job and she was happy being a nanny she felt sorry for the Princetons.  They didn't seem to care that they were missing everything that made having children worth it.  What was the point of having kids if you never spent any time with them or took the time to learn about and love them?  Mayra replaced her arm across her eyes and was just this side of falling asleep again when she felt her bed move.  She opened her eyes slightly and watched--a small smile coming to her face-as Cassie crawled up on the mattress beside her.  The little girl cuddled up next to her and Mayra felt her heart warm.  She kissed the top of Cassie's head then began combing her fingers through her blonde hair as she closed her eyes again. 

Mayra had always wanted to work with kids.  She loved them--loved being with them, feeling their energy, and helping them learn---and was always surprised and entertained with the things they said and did.  She had always assumed she would one day have a family but it wasn't until the past couple months that she had started to actually think seriously about having a child of her own.  Something about turning twenty-five a few months ago had made her have a "quarter-life crisis" as Kelsey jokingly referred to it, and she wondered when she would be able to have her own little girl cuddle up with her in bed.  Someday.  She told herself.  Someday.

With another yawn, Mayra stretched her arms up over her head then snuggled down underneath the blankets--wanting to put off getting up as long as she could.  She had hoped the kids would have slept a little longer than this--what with the time difference between here and New York and with how much time they had spent playing on the beach yesterday--but no such luck.  The excitement of being on vacation had them up early and so her day was starting early as a result. 

Regardless of how much you had to drink last night or the fact that you yelled at JC and told him to not talk to you ever again.

Mayra's eyes popped open at that thought.  Her heart began to pound in her chest as she looked up at the ceiling.  "Shit!" She said aloud again then slapped a hand over her mouth as she turned to look at Cassie.  "I'm sorry." She apologized as Cassie looked at her.  "I know, I said a bad word again."  She sat up--pushing the covers back as she turned and placed her feet on the floor.  "I'm going to go to the bathroom, okay?" She asked Cassie as she stood.  The little girl nodded then rolled over and began watching the TV again.  Mayra poked her head into the adjoining room to check on the boys.  They saw her and waved. "You guys okay?" She asked.

"Yeah." They both nodded from where they sat on one of the beds-a deck of cards between them.  The television was on in their room but they both looked to be completely engrossed in the game of Uno that they were playing.

"Draw four!" Richard declared as he laid down a card. 

Ethan let out a monumental groan.  "Not again!" He lamented as he picked up the required cards. 

Richard smiled triumphantly--puffing his chest out a little in self-satisfaction and Mayra couldn't help chuckling as she turned and continued on to the bathroom.  Once alone with her thoughts however, her smile quickly fell and she leaned heavily back against the closed bathroom door.  She closed her eyes and was immediately assaulted with images from the night before: her conversation with Kelsey, her failed attempt at seducing the front desk clerk trying to get JC's room number, going back to her room to finish the bottle of tequila in private, remembering she had left her purse in the bar, and returning to find JC holding her purse.

 "Don't." She spat, holding a finger up in warning.  "Don't talk to me." She insisted.  "Don't touch my stuff again." She said, pulling her purse up against her chest and turning slightly from him.  "And don't..." she paused.  She looked him up and down. "Just don't talk to me."

   With a groan she buried her face in her hands as she slid down to the cold, tile floor--her knees pulled up to her chest.

She felt horrible. 

She remembered the look of shock and confusion on his face--the way those blue eyes of his had looked at her--as she had stood there accusing him of stealing her purse and ordering him not to talk to her again.  He didn't deserve to be yelled at.  He'd done nothing wrong.  But she hadn't been able to help herself.  Her earlier agitation over seeing him on the beach and his subsequent air of indifference over their meeting had only intensified the drunker she became.  She walked into the bar, saw him holding her bag and all of the fear, frustration, and regret that had been eating her alive over the last couple years had just spilled out of her. 

She lowered her hands-her feet sliding against the tile until her legs were stretched out in front of her.  Leaning her head back against the door, Mayra pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.  She had to apologize.  Somehow, she needed to find him and apologize.  Her behavior had been irrational and uncalled for and she needed to somehow try and make it up to him.  If he remembered anything about her, he would remember that her mouth often got her in to trouble when she drank.  He should know not to take anything I say when I'm drunk personal, right?  She questioned. 

It's been three years.  A voice inside her head answered.  What makes you think he knows anything about you anymore? 

That thought caused her bottom lip to tremble slightly.  She pressed her lips together and fought back the tears that threatened to spill.  She swallowed-her nose suddenly getting that stuffy feeling that came right before she cried.

"Get a hold of yourself!" She demanded quietly, as she stood up and walked over to the sink. "It doesn't matter, remember?  He's over it and you should be too." She reminded herself of the resolution she had made yesterday--to use this chance encounter as an opportunity to close the book on her and JC.  She needed to give up the ridiculous fantasy of getting a second chance with him and cut all of the ties she had kept in place.

Mayra grimaced as she finally saw what she looked like in the mirror. She was a mess.  Her hair was tangled, her make-up was smeared, her eyes were bloodshot...she cringed thinking about what she must have looked like last night when she had attacked him.  Like some rabid, mangy dog no doubt.  She thought as she combed her fingers through her thick, dark hair.  JC had seen her looking both good and bad in the time they had been together but last night was undoubtedly the worst.  She reached for her brush on the counter and managed to finally get the tangles worked out.  Pulling her hair back in a ponytail, she then set to work trying to remove the left over remains of the previous day's make-up--one thought continuing to run through her head: regardless of her feelings toward the man in question, or her resolve to get over her lingering guilt, she needed to apologize.  Her conscious wouldn't let her just leave things the way they were.  She had walked out on him three years ago without an apology.  She wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

"Mayra?"

She turned her head as she heard the knock on the door and Cassie's voice calling her name.  Mayra took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.  Turning, she opened the door--forcing a smile as Cassie looked up at her.  "What's the matter, hun?" Mayra asked.

"I'm hungry." Cassie told her.

Mayra chuckled as she stepped out of the bathroom.  "So am I." She told Cassie as she reached down and picked her up.  "Let's go eat."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"I want pancakes."

"Can I get chocolate milk for breakfast?"

"When are we going to go swimming with the dolphins?"

"I want to go to the beach again."

"Can we go back to the beach today?"

"How come Hawaii is an island?"

"Yes!  They have pineapple!"

JC folded down the corner of the newspaper he was reading as the previously quiet hotel restaurant was invaded by three loud and curious children.  He couldn't help the smile that lifted the corners of his mouth as he watched Mayra, and the three kids she nannied, walk past his table and make their way eagerly over to the breakfast buffet that was set up on the far wall.  She hadn't seemed to notice him which gave him the opportunity to sit and observe her. 

"Can we have whatever we want?" The little girl asked as she reached for the large serving spoon that was in the tray of hash browns. 

"Let's just start out with a few things, okay?" Mayra said with a chuckle as she quickly grabbed the spoon from the child before the potatoes went everywhere.

"Okay." The little girl replied.  "I want pancakes." She said, reiterating the first thing JC had heard her say when she had walked in. 

"Okay." Mayra said as she looked around.  "There's some down there.  Come on." She said, leading the child towards the end of the buffet. 

JC watched the foursome fill up their plate and then walk out to the outside patio and eating area--marveling the entire time at Mayra's patience with the children.  She was a natural.  He was curious about why she was a nanny when he knew she had been working on an education degree, but as with all the other questions he had when it came to her that one was going to go unanswered as well.  All he knew was that her ability to remain calm and under control was admirable and he couldn't help picturing her with her own children.  He shook his head and straightened out his newspaper at that thought--going back to the story he had been reading.  His thoughts had been headed down a dangerous road and he didn't want to think about how well Mayra was able to handle the children's demands without losing her patience, or the fact that that little girl could have been theirs...

Stop it!  He demanded, clenching his jaw tightly.  That's ridiculous.  He continued, trying to shake the thought from his head.  That kid's got to be at least five so that's not even possible.  Besides, it doesn't matter.  It's over and done with.  She made her decision and according to last night that decision hasn't changed.

She didn't want him anymore.

JC sighed as he closed his eyes and dropped his arms down to the table, lowering the newspaper.  He hung his head.  After his run-in with her last night, and that second scotch he had ordered, JC had gone up to his room.  He had been proud of himself for being able to walk away after only two drinks; a definite sign that he was slowly but surely overcoming the struggles that had been crippling him the last couple years.  Once in his room, he had stepped out on the balcony and had sat out there for a long time-looking out at the darkened ocean, feeling the sea breeze against his skin, listening to the sounds of the island, and thinking.

She hated him. 

It was the only conclusion he could come up with for the way she had looked at him with such accusation and anger in her eyes last night, and he was still confused as to what he had done to deserve her hatred.  What had gone wrong between them?  Everything had been great!  More than great.  And then it all changed--seemingly overnight.  Eight months they had been together.  It was the shortest relationship he'd ever had but the one that had had the deepest impact on him.  What he had felt for her had surpassed everything he'd ever felt for anyone else.  Their relationship had refused to be broken by the miles that separated them, and the pressures of his career, but for some reason that one little question he had asked her that last night had been the bomb that had blown them apart.  Had he known the way she was going to react he never would have asked her.  Had he known the way his life was going to spiral out of control he would have kept his mouth closed. But he hadn't.  What he had thought was the right decision had turned out to be anything but. 

I never should have asked her to marry me.

JC sighed as he folded up the newspaper in his hands and stood up from his table.  These memories were doing nothing towards helping him get over seeing Mayra again--they were only making his inner demons stronger instead of doing anything to tame them.  He jammed both hands into his hair as he walked out of the restaurant and across the lobby.  He blew out a breath as he dropped his arms down to his sides.  He walked down the hall to the elevators and pressed the "up" button then stood there and waited. 

She had broken him.  Plain and simple: she had broken him and the evidence was clear.  He was afraid.  He was afraid now where he hadn't been before.  He was afraid of the hold she still had on him.  He was afraid of the depth of the feelings he still had for her.  He was afraid of putting himself back out there only to have the same thing happen again.  If he had loved Mayra as much as he had and it hurt this much--still hurt this much--after all this time, what would if feel like if he were to find someone he felt even stronger about?  Not that he thought that was even a possibility--he couldn't imagine feeling stronger about someone than he had for Mayra--but it was just better to avoid the possibility altogether he decided.

The elevator arrived, pulling him from his thoughts.  He waited for the few people that were on it to exit then stepped inside.  Pressing the button for his floor he leaned back against the back wall.  He crossed one ankle over the other and looked down at his feet.  It was ridiculous, how much he had allowed her to get to him.  He'd been through break-ups in the past and none of them had affected him like this one had.  Course, I never proposed to any of those other girls either.  He mused wryly. 

He lifted his head--watching as a hand suddenly appeared, stopping the elevator doors from closing.  The metal doors opened again and JC's heart jumped up into his throat at who joined him in the elevator.  He straightened as the kids got on and then she stood once more in front of him.  She stood in silence, her eyes betraying her shock at finding him there. 

"Sorry." She said, her eyes refusing to leave his.  The tension filling the small space was palpable and JC wondered if she could feel the connection they still had like he could.  "We'll just...we'll wait...for the next one." She said taking a step back, her eyes widening slightly in surprise at finding the doors had already closed.

"Too late." He remarked-surprised himself at the even tone of his voice--as the elevator started rising.  The images floating through his head at the moment were completely inappropriate, especially considering the three children that were with them in the elevator, but he couldn't help imagining her pressed back against the door in a very different manner.  Her arms wrapped around him, her warm body beneath his, the sound of her crying out his name...

As if she could read his thoughts her cheeks took on a tell-tale blush and she quickly turned around-putting her back to him.  She reached out towards the panel of buttons and paused.  Tossing a glance back over her shoulder at him, she looked at him in question.  "Are you on seventeen?" She asked.

"That's why the button is pushed." He replied.  "Why?" He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly as he watched her closely.

She shook her head and turned back around, her hand lowering to her side without pressing a button.  JC watched her for a moment, his eyes running over her from behind.  She had pulled her hair back in a ponytail and he couldn't shake the urge he had to lean forward and press his lips against her neck.  He knew that was one of her sweet spots and he knew that with one touch he could have her.  He leaned forward slightly, completely forgetting they weren't alone in the elevator until he felt another pair of eyes on him. 

Turning his head to one side JC met the eyes of the little girl clinging to Mayra's hand.  "Hi." He said, smiling at her.  She ducked her head and moved closer to Mayra.  JC crouched down to her level.  "What's your name?" He asked, keeping the smile on his face. 

She looked at him shyly for a second then, "Cassie." She told him.

"That's a very pretty name, Cassie." He told her.  "I'm JC." He said, holding out his hand. 

Cassie looked at his hand for a second then looked up at Mayra.  JC looked up at Mayra too.  Their eyes met for a second before she looked at Cassie.  "It's okay." Mayra told Cassie, smiling encouragingly.  Cassie let go of Mayra's hand and took his for a second.  The little girl smiled shyly then released his hand and quickly latched back on to Mayra's. 

"Are you having fun here in on vacation so far?" He asked her. 

Cassie nodded.  "We get to go swim with the dolphins today." She told him.

"Really?" He asked showing his interest. 

"Mmmhmm." Cassie nodded again.  "Do you want to come with us?" She asked innocently. 

"Oh," he began, a bit taken back by her invitation.  "Well I--"

"No, Cassie." Mayra said, interrupting him as she spoke to the child.  "He's not going with us.  I'm sorry." She said looking at him.

"It's okay." He replied, looking at Mayra.  "I would love to come with you." He said, looking back at Cassie.  "But I can't." He continued, as he slowly stood.  His eyes met Mayra's again for a heartbeat.   "Maybe another time." He finished, tearing his eyes away from Mayra and looking down at Cassie. 

JC shoved his hands into his pockets as an awkward silence filled the small space.  His mind was full of things he wanted to say to her--questions he needed answers too--but he was prevented from saying or asking anything as the elevator stopped on his floor and the doors opened.  He was prepared to have to just step out around Mayra and the kids, and was surprised when they quickly got out in front of him.  He lifted a curious brow as he stepped off himself, watching the kids as they ran down the hall, Mayra following after them.  They were on the same floor?!  That has to mean something, right? His heart questioned as he watched them continue to walk away from him, finally entering a room at the end of the hall. JC pushed that thought away as he walked to his room.  No.  He angrily answered himself.  It doesn't mean anything.  It's just a coincidence.  That's all.  He swiped his room key in the slot and opened the door.  I need to get out of this damn hotel... 

~~~~~~~~

Mayra let out the breath it felt like she'd been holding since she'd stepped onto that elevator a few minutes ago with JC.  She closed the door to her hotel room and leaned back against it heavily as the kids ran into their adjoining room to change into their swimming suits and grab the other items she had instructed them to grab before they left for the day's adventure of swimming with the dolphins.  She swallowed and placed a hand against her chest-her heart beating out a frantic rhythm.  Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!   She swore, over and over again in her head.  So much for apologizing.  She thought with a roll of her eyes.  Behind closed doors she was all bark but when face to face with the man she had no bite whatsoever.  It was like she swallowed her tongue when she was around him.  All the carefully thought out, rehearsed, and memorized speeches and apologies she had come up with over the years left at one glance of those dark blue eyes of his.  The only thing she could concentrate on was remaining upright and somehow managing to keep from throwing herself at him--begging him to forgive her and to give her one more chance.  It had taken every ounce of her focus and will power to stay standing with her back to him in that elevator when all she had really wanted to do was turn around, press him back against the wall and have her way with him.  And then, when he had crouched down and started talking to Cassie?  She had melted.  Literally melted, watching him interact with the little girl.  Mayra had gotten a weak, fluttery feeling inside imagining JC with his own child.  While they hadn't ever brought up the subject of children in so many words, Mayra knew that secretly he wanted a family.  He was scared, like most guys were that he wouldn't be any good at it but she knew that he would be an amazing father.  The fact that he had taken the time to talk to Cassie, on her level, proved that he had a soft spot in his heart for kids and that he knew how to act and interact with them.  Again she got that fluttery feeling inside and she pushed away from the door angrily. 

Close the book.  She reminded herself-forcing the thoughts away.  Close the book.

"You guys ready?" She called out as she walked farther into the room and through the door adjoining her room with the family's suite.  Ethan, Richard, and Cassie were scrambling around their room, throwing stuff into their backpacks.  Mayra laughed.  "You guys have everything I told you to bring?" She asked as they each began zipping up their bags. 

"Yep." They all said, almost in unison. 

"Alright then." She smiled at them.  "Let's go."