"Too early..." She muttered sleepily.

He smiled as he pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder then settled down behind her.  He kept his eyes closed, listening to the quiet sound of her breathing.  He tried to go back to sleep but his mind was awake and his thoughts wouldn't let him sleep anymore.  After the crazy, busy month he'd had JC had taken this past week and had devoted it entirely to the woman sleeping in his arms.

Since meeting last summer they had kept up their long distance relationship through phone calls and emails with the occasional visit thrown in here and there.  JC was in New York at least once a month either because of an event or premier he'd been invited to and obligated to attend or because of meeting with the executives at Jive in preparation for releasing his planned second album.  Mayra had come out to L.A. in October and, after spending last week in London for fashion week, JC had promised he would spend Spring Break with her in New York.  He had offered to fly her down to Orlando for the week, but she had insisted she wanted him all to herself and the party scene down in Florida over Spring Break wasn't very conducive for that.

The last week had been spent primarily in bed--a fact that he was perfectly fine with and which made him smile--with random outings to eat, wander around Central Park, and to see a Broadway show last night.  Today was his last full day with her and he was hesitant to see their time together end.

Nobody understood their relationship.

"She's twenty-one?!" His mother had exclaimed when he had casually mentioned Mayra in a conversation with her a few months ago.  "Be careful, Josh.  Please."

His friends were all convinced she was just his "New York booty call" and that the relationship was only there for his physical gratification when he happened to be in town.  While that aspect of being with Mayra was definitely a plus, there was more to it than that.  If she had purely just been a "booty call" he was honest enough with himself to admit that he probably would have forgotten all about her after returning to L.A. after that first night together.  Something about her, though, kept him coming back for more.  They would talk far into the night--their conversations ranging far and wide--and they never seemed to run out of things to say.  She made him laugh with her quirky sense of humor and had started to teach him a few phrases in Spanish.  She laughed at his poor accent and pronunciation of the words but her laugh was so adorable and infectious that he couldn't help but smile.  He asked her why she insisted on teaching him Spanish if she was just going to laugh at him.  She had confessed to him--after some prodding and pulling on his part--that This I Promise You in Spanish, Yo Te Voy A Amar, had "catapulted her into adolescence" and she had always had a fantasy of being with him and having him speak her native language.  JC had laughed. 

And then promptly used that information to his advantage. 

All he had to do was sing a few lines of the song he had long ago memorized, though he didn't actually speak the language, and she was putty in his hands.

People didn't understand their relationship and there were times he didn't understand it himself.  All he knew was that he liked her.  He liked her a lot.  He liked talking to her--arguing over current events and discussing books they had both read.  He liked making her laugh.  He liked spending time with her.  She was always at the forefront of his thoughts and she had quickly become the one he called whenever he was upset or excited about something.  He forgot about the age difference between them because she acted so much older than she really was.  She was out on her own--working and putting herself through school.  Her small studio apartment wasn't much when compared to the two homes he owned, but it was hers and she was proud of it, and JC liked it.  . 

JC rolled over, releasing Mayra.  She sighed--snuggling down deeper into her pillow--as he stretched out on his back, putting his arms back behind his head.  He looked around the apartment, his curiosity piqued again at the obvious absence of any pictures on the wall.  Mayra had taken the time and effort to decorate her apartment to be warm and cozy but any insight into her personal life, her family life, was missing.  He had wondered about it--why there were no family pictures--and he had realized that over the eight months they had been seeing each other she hadn't mentioned anything about her family.  She asked him questions about his but whenever he would try and turn the conversation to hers she would neatly evade the questions.  She was smooth but eventually he was going to get her to talk.  He had an insatiable need to learn everything he could about her, regardless of the walls she had in place.

"Mmmm...Buenos dias guapo." Mayra murmured as she rolled over and slung her arm across his chest. JC grinned as she nuzzled his jaw and nibbled her way to his ear. 

"Good morning to you, too, beautiful." He replied, closing his eyes as her lips began moving down his neck.  He let slip a low groan as she moved over him--her legs straddling him as she lay on top of him.  JC removed his hands from behind his head and lifted his hands, his fingers combing her hair back as he framed her face.  He looked up into her beautiful brown eyes.  This thumbs brushed back and forth across her cheeks before he pulled her down--meeting her halfway--their lips meeting in a warm kiss.  Mayra moaned into his mouth, her hips rotating against him as her hands ran up and down his chest.  He ran his tongue along her bottom lips before slipping it in to her mouth.  His fingers dug deeper into her hair, massaging her scalp as he shifted his weight and rolled her over.  Mayra giggled as she looked up at him. 

"You're beautiful." JC proclaimed as he looked down at her.  He leaned down, his lips connecting with hers in another lingering kiss.  He moved a leg between hers as he pulled back and Mayra pulled her bottom lip between her teeth--her pupils dilating with desire.  He felt his body responding and she let out a low, sultry laugh as she felt it as well.  Her hands ran up his arms and around his neck, her fingers toying with the hair at the base of his neck. 

"Oooh...someone else is awake, I see." She commented, looking at him coyly through her lashes.  A seductive grin spread across her face as she lifted up slightly. 

JC growled as he kissed her again--once on the lips and then again at the corner of her jaw as he ground his hips against her slowly.  Purposefully.  Then he pulled away, resting his weight up on his forearms.  Mayra pouted.

"No pouting, beautiful." He told her, the corners of his mouths lifting slightly.  "What do you want to do today?" He asked as he traced his fingertips across her cheekbones and over her lips.  Mayra sucked one of his fingers into her mouth--her tongue swirling around it-and JC closed his eyes and swallowed hard. 

She giggled at his reaction.  "I think you know." She replied as he pulled his finger from her mouth.

JC bent his head, and began to devour her neck as he lowered his weight more fully against her.  Mayra moaned as she turned her head slightly, sucking his ear into her mouth.  "I don't want this week to ever end." He remarked as he moved to capture her mouth fully with his. 

"Me neither." Mayra admitted.  "Me neither."

~~~~~~~~~

"We should get married." JC said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. 

Mayra spit out her Long Island Ice Tea as she looked at him, wide-eyed from across the table.  "Excuse me?" She asked.  "Wh-what?"

JC looked at her for a moment, his heart pounding heavily in his chest as he looked at her.  He cleared his throat and looked down at the table.  "Y-you know..." he began.  "I...we...we..."  He looked back up at her.  "Listen, just...just forget I said anything, okay?" He asked. 

"I can't..." Mayra shook her head.  "I can't forget what you just said, JC."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because!"  She exclaimed looking at him like he was crazy.  "Married?!  We've only known each other eight months." She reminded him.  "The majority of which we have been living on different coasts.  How the hell is that even something that you're thinking about?"

JC dropped his eyes down to the table once again, unable to meet her gaze anymore.  How was he supposed to answer her questions when he didn't really know the answers himself?  He cursed the alcohol he'd been consuming the last couple hours since they'd arrived at the club.  After finally dragging themselves out of bed midmorning, Mayra had told him she wanted to go to "Their Club" on this, the last night that he was going to be in town for a while.  After spending the day wandering around the city together, they had gone back to her place, gotten dressed, and then had gone to the club where they had first met.

"JC?" Mayra asked at his continued silence.

He looked up at her.  "I like you." He told her.  She sat there, looking at him-waiting for him to continue; to explain why he had just given her a proposal of marriage.  "This last week...look, I'm not saying we should get married like...tomorrow." He said.  "I just..." He reached across the table for her hand but she pulled away from him.  He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her.  "What?"

Mayra was quiet.  She just sat there, watching him silently-her expression unreadable.  She looked down at the table.  "I can't..." she began.  He had leaned forward to hear her over the noise in the club.  She shook her head as she looked back up at him and pushed away from the table.  "I can't do this anymore." She said, her bottom lip trembling.

JC was stunned for a moment at her reaction but he quickly shook it off as she turned and began to walk away.  "Wait, hold up!" He said, hurrying around the table and after her.  He reached out, grabbing her arm and turning her around to look at him.  "What...what's the matter?" He asked.  "Where are you going?"

"JC, I can't..." She looked at him, her beautiful eyes welling up with tears.  "I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what anymore?" He asked, completely confused.  "Look, I told you to forget I said anything about getting married.  I just..." He released her arm.  "I like being with you.  This week together has been great and I...I want to...you know, maybe someday...think...about talking about getting married..."

He caught the tremble in her bottom lip before she pulled that lip between her teeth.  "I'm sorry." She said.  "I know you don't understand but..."

"Wait," he said, pulling back to look at her.  "Are you...are you breaking up with me?" He asked--wishing he didn't sound like such a girl asking that question.  Where the hell was this coming from?  They had been in bed laughing and making love just hours before and now she was breaking up with him?  What the hell?! "Mayra, I--"

"It's for your own good." She told him.  "I know you don't understand but...you have to believe me.  It's for your own good."  And with that she turned on her heels and began to walk away again. 

"Mayra, wait." JC said, reaching out for her again. 

"JC, please." She replied.  She stopped but refused to look at him.  "Let me go."

~~~~~

JC tossed and turned, the sheets on the bed in his hotel room becoming tangled around him, as scenes and images from the past continued to parade through his dreams.  That last day together, his drunken suggestion, watching her walk away, the revelation that came when he realized it was over...

~~~~~

JC pulled up the collar of the dark trench coat he was wearing and hunched his shoulders against the cold rain that was falling.  He shoved his hands into his pockets as he stood in the shadows across the street from Mayra's apartment complex.  He knew this was borderline stalker behavior but he hadn't been able to stop himself from coming over to this side of town.  He had been in meetings all day with Jive trying to hammer out the details of his contract in order to release the second album he was planning to release.  After leaving the Jive offices, he had gotten into a cab and given the driver Mayra's address before he could stop himself.

After she had left him at the club, with no explanation other that "it was for his own good," JC had stood--rooted in place for what felt like forever.  When he had finally gained control of his facilities he had run after her, but it was too late.  She had disappeared.  Dejectedly JC had returned to the club and the table where they had been sitting and tried to figure out what had just happened.  He had sat there for hours, drinking--trying to numb the pain.  A pain which was completely irrational.  Why was this affecting him so much?  As she had pointed out, they had only known each other for eight months and had spent the majority of that time apart, living on separate coasts.  Why did it feel like his heart had been ripped out of his chest?

Maybe for the same reason you told her you wanted to get married? A voice inside his head answered.  Because you love her?

JC had scoffed at the idea.  Love?  After only eight months? It was impossible...wasn't it?

A gust of wind blew and a car drove by, the backsplash from a puddle the car hit, hitting JC.  Although rain was soaking him through, the extra splash of cold water jarred him from his thoughts.   It had been a month since he'd last seen Mayra.  A month since she had told him it was over.  A month since he had realized he was in love with her. 

He didn't want to be in love with her, but his heart refused to listen to reason.  He didn't want to be in love with her, but here he was--standing outside her door in the pouring rain.  He had tried.  In the past month he had tried to get over it, to move past her, but he couldn't.  Friends had set him up with a few other girls the past few weeks but he felt nothing.  Everything had lost its appeal.  He knew he was being melodramatic and if it were anyone else in this situation JC would be the first to tell that person to "buck up" and get over it, but he couldn't.  He remembered the look in her eyes that night.  She had been scared of something and he suspected that fear was what had caused her to run. That fear had also caused her to refuse to see or speak with him the next morning.  Or at least that's what JC had told himself after he had gone to her apartment after wandering around the city all night--only to find she had put all his stuff outside her door.  That was also the rationale he used when trying to explain why she refused to answer her phone or respond to any of his emails.  She didn't want to talk to him but he knew, if he could get her to talk to him he would tell her that whatever it was, she didn't need to be afraid of him.  He wouldn't let her down.

A cab pulled up to the curb across the street and JC stepped back further into the shadows.  Mayra got out--the sound of her laughter carrying across the street--and JC felt his heart constrict painfully at seeing her again; at being so close to her once again.  He watched as a second person got out of the cab and his heart fell as he watched the two of them hurry into the building and out of the rain. 

She was with another guy.

She had moved on.

It was over.

~~~~~

JC woke up in a cold sweat--his heart beating painfully in his chest as the words to the song he had written after that last glimpse of Mayra filled his head. 

I could be the first to let you know

That nothing means anything

Now I'm standing here outside your door in the pouring rain

And I can't believe nothing's supposed to get to me

Now I'm in this misery

I can't be with anyone since I felt our worlds collide

It's like I almost died

The way you make me feel

I'm changing, got me breaking down inside

Baby can't you see, you ruined me

For life

I will be the last to let you down

All your fears and doubts are

Hovering above you like a cloud

And the water's rising

Now I can't breathe, nothing's how it's supposed to be

How did you do this to me

Locked inside your heart shaped box

I can't be with anyone since I felt our worlds collide

It's like I almost died

The way you make me feel

I'm changing, got me breaking down inside

Baby can't you see, you ruined me

For life

I don't wanna be in love

I don't wanna feel this way

All I wanna do is leave

But all I can do is stay

Nights and days go by

And I can't wait to touch your face again

Although his second album had never been released, the single had been put on the radio.  His breakup with Mayra had helped him write another song about love gone wrong that the fans had liked.  It had been three years, and writing that song had helped get his feelings out on paper and in music, but the dream he'd just had, had brought it all back in living color.  He had done a good job at covering the pain--or so he had thought--over the years but he couldn't push it away any longer.  The question that had haunted him since she had left refused to be silenced any longer.  He had to know.  Before this week ended and they both went their separate ways again he had to know why.  Why had she run? 

He had been through breakups before but in each instance he knew the answer to the question, "why?"  Each instance except Mayra, and the lack of information was holding him back.  He had always been the type of person that couldn't accept anything until he knew all the reasons why.  If he could talk to her, get her to talk to him, he could ask her the question that had been eating away at him the last couple years and would finally be able to put this behind him.

Knowing what he had to do JC threw the covers aside as he rolled over and sat up.  No matter how painful it might be, he had to ask.  No matter her answer, he had to know.  It didn't matter that she had told him not to talk to her.  When he left this island he would finally be able to close this damn book--a book that had been left open for far too long...