I didn't want to wake up. I despise getting up from a good night's rest and that's ever so rare in my case. But the kisses I felt on my neck were enough to do the trick. I opened my eyes and I was wrapped up in JC's arms, spooning again.

"Morning," he said into my ears.

I looked at the clock; it was 1:35 pm. "Afternoon."

We'd just finished making love at around 5 in the morning. He took me on his ride for four hours, nonstop. Our bodies were sore, my voice still sounded like a train-wreck.

"Any thoughts about last night?" I asked him.

"Amazing.......soooo amazing. How was it for you?" he responded.

"Let's just say, I'm 10 pounds lighter and I love it," I said.

"Now we can have an after-party," he said as he got up and walked toward his bathroom.

"Josh, I can barely stand right now. My........my Virginia needs time to recuperate," I said.

He laughed and came over to where I was. He threw the covers back and lifted me into his arms.

"Josh! I'm naked!"

"Esa! I know!" he laughed.

He put me down when we got to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He looked at me, smiling.

"After you, honey," he said.

I shook my head and stepped into his luxurious shower. He had two large shower heads and the warm water touched my skin, it felt so soft and strong. I felt extra heat behind me, so I knew it was JC that stepped in. I put my head under the water to wet my hair and I felt him pulling me back against his chest.

"I like seeing your body wet," he whispered.

His hands rubbed down my body, revving my engine. Needless to say, my virginia didn't get the recuperation it needed.

"JC.......you're a beast. I think a few more times and I won't even have to work out this summer," I joked.

"As surprised as you are, I'm just as surprised. I didn't think I'd go for that long, nonstop with the week I've been having. I guess I wanted you that bad," he said.

"I'm happy that you did. You made one of my fantasies come to life......and then some," I said.

"I wanna make them all come to life," he smiled.

"I'm with you, so you already have."

"Awwwwww! Totally milked it, but I still appreciate it," he teased.

I laughed and shook my head. I stared down at the floor, having a mental debate.

"C.....where do we go from here?" I asked.

"I've already mentioned where my head was at.......what do you want, Esa?"

"I.....I don't know," I replied.

"What do you mean? We just had a great romantic night, gave ourselves to one another. What don't you know?" he asked.

"I should go," I said as I backed away toward the door, grabbing my bag.

"Bye Esamar."

He didn't even look at me. I ran all the way outside before I realized, I didn't have my car. I checked the time and ran to the nearest bus stop.

I wasn't trying to hurt JC, but this was freaking me out. The idea.....the thought....the mere mention of love made me feel like I just saw a ghost. Everything that was happening, that had happened in the past week was too much for me. I realized it the second he asked me what I wanted.

I don't take back anything that just occurred between us at all. I loved him holding me. I loved him making love to me. I loved him wanting to be with me. But most of all, I loved him. I love Joshua Chasez.......and I can never see him again.

Fin.