Madison stared after the retreating form of her boyfriend as he took the steps two at a time up to the second floor of his townhouse. She finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher, leaving her wine glass on the side of the sink just in case she had the urge to have another glass before bed.

She'd never been a huge drinker. But lately, with as confusing as her thoughts had been, and with as stressful as work had gotten, she felt like she needed the calming effects of a glass. Besides, a glass of red a day kept the doctor away, right?

Her cell phone started vibrating on the marble countertop next to her, and seeing whose name was displayed on the caller ID, she wasted no time in filling her wine glass again. She'd need one to get through this phone call.

With a deep sigh, she picked up.

"Hey Lynn!" she said, trying her best to put a smile in her voice.

"Hi sweetie! How are you doing?"

"Oh, not bad. Just finishing putting dishes away. Unwinding from the week at work." She replied, walking from the kitchen towards the back door that led to the backyard. A little bit of the chilly night air is what she needed.

"I'm glad to hear you're still busy. Still like what you do?"

"Most days." Madi said with a laugh that Lynn returned.

"Justin says the same thing."

"Yeah..." Madison heard Lynn draw in a breath.

"I really don't mean to pry into business but, Justin mentioned that he ran into you the other day."

Way to cut to the chase, Madison thought. "...yes." She answered, her own breath that she'd been unconsciously holding blowing out past her lips.

"I take it things didn't go well?" Lynn continued.

Madison sighed loudly. Her run in with Justin had been on her mind since it happened. "They were just...strained. It was hard seeing him again. He just looked so torn apart inside when I left his place that night. It scared me. Because when I left him before, I couldn't tell how he felt. He was just lifeless. The other night though, I really saw him again."

"Well of course he was broken up. He just found out the woman that he's still in love with, loves someone else."

Madison was quiet on her end of the line.

"Madi..." Lynn continued, "I'm not saying this because he's my son and hate seeing him hurt, I'm saying this for your own good as well. Decide what you really want before you break up with Skylar..."

"I wasn't thinking about..." Madison interrupted.

"and...before you say anything to Justin about the feelings you think you still have for him. Telling him and then taking it back a few weeks later will only hurt you both. And I don't want that. You deserve happiness just as much as Justin does."

"Thanks Mama Lynn. You've always got such good advice."

"I'm old and wise." Lynn chuckled.

"I don't know about the old part but you definitely are the wisest woman I know."

"Don't let your mother catch you saying that!"

Madison let out a quiet giggle. "My mom would most likely agree."

"This is why I love you Madison." Lynn said with a laugh.

Suddenly serious, Madison replied, "I love you too, Lynn."

"Like I said before, I'm not trying to meddle. I just wanted to make sure you were doing ok after everything." Madison's heart warmed at how caring Lynn still was about her. When she'd left Justin she also left behind Lynn and she was heartbroken over that. She and Lynn had bonded quickly after they'd met and soon after, Lynn had become like a second mother to Madi. It was hard to lose that.

She swallowed over the lump in her throat. "Yeah, I'm alright. And you're not meddling anymore than JC is. Sometimes I wish he wasn't blood related so I could just ignore him without getting yelled at by my mother." Madison said bitterly.

"He means well." Lynn interjected.

Madison huffed. "He always does."

And it was true. Yes, JC was getting on her last nerve lately with the constant calls prying into her business but she knew he was only doing it to make sure that things were ok with her. It didn't matter how many times he asked either, she'd still say she was fine even if she wasn't. Because a response other than being ok would immediately get back to Justin and he'd most likely call to see if there was anything he could do to help. That's just how he was, too.

And right now, a phone call from him wasn't something that she needed. Her head and heart were confused enough without adding his presence into the mix.

"Well, I don't want to keep you anymore dear. Call me if you need anything. You know that what's said between us is confidential unless you don't want it to be."

"Thank you. I'm just...trying to figure things out. My heads kind of a mess right now." Madison admitted. "Are you fattening him up at all while he's home? He's as thin as a rail." Madison asked, remembering how skinny he had looked when they'd run into each other. No matter, he still looked amazing to her.

"I'm trying to. Good old southern country home cookin'." Lynn said.

"Mmm...you're making me jealous. I miss your food."

"Come out and see me sometime and I'll see what I can whip up." From the tone in Lynn's voice, Madison knew she was serious.

"Don't tempt me. I just may take you up on that."

"Good. It's an open invitation. You're welcome here anytime, dear." Lynn said affectionately.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you don't treat me any differently even though Justin and I aren't together."

"And I won't ever. Remember that. I'm going to let you go but, I'm going to expect to see you here soon, ok?"

Madison smiled. "Of course. Good night, Lynn."

"Night Madison."

They hung up and Madison stayed seated, taking in the previous conversation. A phone call from Lynn was always unexpected, but always welcomed.  Deciding that Skylar was probably wondering where she was and what she was doing, she got up.

A pair of arms slid around Madison's waist and she sucked in a breath when she felt his lips on her bare shoulder. "Why don't you come to bed?" he asked quietly, resting his chin on her shoulder. When did he come out here? She wondered. "I am. Just had to finish my phone call."

"Who were you talking to so late?"

She spun out of his grasp and padded back inside to the kitchen. She was going to top off her glass of wine to calm her nerves and her spinning head before she got in bed.

He followed her in, shutting the sliding glass door behind him. When he saw her with the bottle of red wine in her hands, his eyebrows rose to his hairline. "You're drinking before bed?"

She shrugged. "Long day. Work was stressful. I need something to calm me down."

Coming to stand in front of her, he draped his arms over her shoulders and looked down at her with a smirk on his face. "Why don't you let me help you unwind then?" he said with a wink.

She half-smiled at him, taking a sip of her wine quickly to smother her response. What she really wanted to tell him was that letting him help her unwind was about as far from what she wanted at the moment. Though why she felt that way, she wasn't totally clear. Ever since her run in with Justin, the thoughts running through her head went from one extreme to the other and she couldn't find her middle ground. Everything felt upside down.

On the one hand she had Skylar. Skylar who, when they first met, she'd been hesitant to let close to her, but once he'd convinced her that he was a good guy, it didn't take long to fall for him completely. The Skylar that stayed home with Bubba, her yorkie, when he was sick, and who brought her mom roses on mother's day. He was good to her and loved her completely and didn't ask questions about her past with her once uber-famous rockstar boyfriend. The only thing he wanted to know was if she was over him. And she was.

Or she had been.

Now she wasn't so sure.

Because on the other hand, there was Justin-the kind of guy she never pictured herself with because of all the baggage he came with. And then one kiss from him and she was gone, instantly drawn to and in love with everything about him; even the baggage. She'd been ready to marry him from the second he'd whispered "I love you" to her in his sleep unknowingly; and then it all fell apart. He became someone she didn't even know anymore, everyday sinking further and further inside himself until he had all but shut her out, acting like she didn't even exist.

So she took herself out of the equation and left. It was the only thing she could do.

And it had been hard.

Fighting a battle within herself everyday to go running back to him, begging and pleading for him to show her even a glimpse of his former self, of the man she fell in love with. Finally, her head won out and she decided that the best thing to do was to move on and forget him. She couldn't wait around forever for him; she needed to make herself happy.

Which is where Skylar had come in. He made her happy. He did.

"Babe?"

Madison broke out of her daze and focused on him.

"Hmm?"

"Have you listened to anything I've said?" he asked worriedly, massaging her shoulders with the pads of his thumbs. Her head lulled back when they poked at a particularly sensitive spot. "No. I'm sorry. Just thinking about a lot of things."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he guided her gently towards the staircase, his hands never leaving their spot.

"Not right now. I just want to forget about it for a while. You ready for bed?" she asked over her shoulder, taking another, bigger, swig from her wine glass.

"Of course. Does that phone call have anything to do with your mood?" he prodded, walking to the dresser on the opposite side of the room to change into an undershirt. Madison's eyes immediately averted to him, eyeing the deep cut lines in his waist that disappeared into his low riding boxer briefs, his hair tousled from him taking his shirt off. Her mouth watered. He was hot.

He grinned and patted the spot next to him. "Finish off your wine baby and get in bed."

Returning his smile, Madison gulped down the remaining liquid in her glass, wincing as the warmth burned its way down her throat. She curled up next to him, sighing when an arm wrapped around her waist and brought her closer to him.

"Night babe."

"Night." She returned quietly, shutting her eyes, praying that sleep would come easily. Maybe the wine would help her fall asleep faster. With as quickly as she drank it down, she was already feeling warmth in her cheeks. Hopefully that warmth would make its way towards her brain and shut it down.

The man she saw when she fell asleep was not one that was entirely unexpected, but it still confused her. An angry pair of bright blue eyes, words that made no sense falling from pouted lips, and then a door slamming in her face after he had accused her of cheating.

What the hell?

Why was Justin yelling about her cheating? That was not how their breakup went down. She had left him, and it wasn't due to infidelity. Even in her dreams, she was confused.

Madison knew she was asleep. She could feel her eyes darting back and forth quickly under her closed eyelids. She could feel herself being pulled further into the dream, or nightmare, however, losing the sense that it wasn't real as she followed the scene playing out before her-anticipation filling her as she waited for what would happen next.

Suddenly the cold, darkened room fell away, a bright blue sky and warm, balmy air replacing it.

This scenery was much better than the last.

~

Madison stretched her legs out in front of her, digging her toes into the sand and dropping her head backwards, savoring the feeling of being relaxed for the first time in ages. Her schedule at the label had her in office 50+ hours a week, not to mention the hours she put in out of the office. She couldn't complain though; she loved what she did and being busy kept her mind off of the fact that this weekend would've been she and Justin's 1 year wedding anniversary.

If he hadn't walked out on her. Hadn't accused her of sleeping around on him with one of the artists at her label.

It couldn't have been further from the truth.

At the time they broke up, she had been working longer hours than usual at the label, staying after and giving attention to the newest artist that she'd signed. He was young and vulnerable and naïve to everything surrounding him and she felt that she could offer up her expertise and guide him along. The late hours she kept got Justin suspicious. Especially when she was coming home at two and three in the morning. When that happened, it usually resulted in a screaming match about where she had been and her defending herself by saying that he knew the kinds of hours that new artists had to put in when they were recording their first album.

None of it ever got through his thick head though. He continuously played the dumb card and it finally resulted in him leaving her, barely letting her get a word in edge wise as he beat her down with painful words and name-calling; names that still made her sick to her stomach to think about.

"Whatcha thinkin' bout?" Madison's best friend, Logan's voice cut into her thoughts and she averted her eyes from the horizon in front of her to squint up at her.

"What else?" she asked with a roll of her eyes. Getting tired of squinting the sun away, she dropped her brown Ray-ban aviators down over her eyes.

Logan swatted Madison's leg with her towel before attempting to lay it down beside her. "Would you stop? We came out here to get away from all that. It's way gone. Back in LA. It's not here."

Madison sighed. "Ugh. I know. I just...I keep thinking about it. This time last year and I would've been walking down the..."

"MADISON!" Logan yelled. "QUIT! If you keep talking like this I'm leaving your ass here." Madison giggled. "You think I'm kidding? Ohhh no. I'm completely serious. You gotta snap out of it. I'm here to get my tan on. And maybe meet a hot surfer boy."

"Lo...I love you." Madison said with a grin, leaning over to hug her.

Logan returned the smile. "I know."

With a deep breath out, Madison let herself relax again, pushing all thoughts of Justin out of her head.

She didn't know how long she'd been out, but when she woke up, she could already tell that her arms were getting a bit pink.

"Hey sleeping beauty." Logan joked.

Madison yawned. "Why didn't you wake me up and tell me to roll over?"

"You looked like you needed it."

"Yeah. But do I look like I needed to get the color of a lobster while we're out here today?" Madison said with a laugh, poking at her arm and watching the spot turn white and then a bright pink spot returning in its place. She cringed, this one was going to hurt.

"Are you really complaining?"

"Nah." Madison said with a shrug. "There is nothing better than Cali sunshine and sand and..." Madison started, eyes focusing on a cute pair of little kids, one boy and one girl, who were playing down by the water, attempting to build a sandcastle. They were failing miserably. Apparently no one had told them they were building too close to the water because each time a wave would come in, it would ruin their progress. She had to smile at them, though. They were adorable.

Observing longer, she put it together that they were definitely not brother and sister. The way the girl would get up and chase the boy around before tackling him to the ground where she'd plant a big wet one on him told her otherwise. She longed for that kind of innocence again.

"...the latest smut novel from Charlaine Harris." Logan interrupted her reverie, tossing the paperback book on the sand next to Madison.

"Don't you mean Sookie Stackhouse?" she asked, picking it up and examining it.

"Is there a difference?"

"No. As long as there is hot Eric sex going on I'm in." She said with a giggle, and Logan joined in. Eric Northman was both of their favorite character from the True Blood series. "But as I was saying...and the water is gorgeous..."

"...and your ex."

At that, Madison flipped over onto her stomach and hid her face in her hands. "My what?!?" she shrieked, pushing her glasses back on top of her head, eyes roaming the area around them nervously. She hadn't seen him in forever.

"Justin."

"You can't be serious."

"I wish I wasn't." Logan said sympathetically, rubbing Madison's arm comfortingly. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think he saw us yet."

"It doesn't." she mumbled into the crook of her arm. "How's he look?"

"Like Justin."

Madison turned her head to the side to look at Logan. "So amazing, right?"

Logan shrugged. "I never thought of him like that."

"Good." Madison said with a grin, flipping the other way. "So where is he?"

"Further down. Bright turquoise and white board shorts...I can't tell who he's with, though."

"As long as it's not a girl..."

"Nope. Couple dudes."

Madison breathed out a sigh of relief. Even a year later, she wasn't sure she could handle seeing him with someone else. Peering over the side of her arm, she searched him out, gasping when she found him. Bent over at the waist, laughing hysterically at something that one of the guys he was with said. And he looked gorgeous.

"God..." she whispered, face turning red when he turned around and apparently spotted her judging by the look on his face. He had turned ghost white.

"Shit. I think he saw me."

"So go say hi." Logan told her.

"Trust me. I'm the last person he wants to hear from."

"It's been a year." Logan kept pressing.

"Doesn't matter." Finally tearing her eyes away from Justin's shocked face, she buried her head in her arms, vowing not to look up until Logan told her that he was gone.

"DUCK!"

"What?" Madison mumbled from her face-down position. She could feel her back getting fried but she didn't care. She didn't dare turn over.

"DUCK!!! FRISBEE!"

At Logan's warning, she covered her head, praying that it didn't hit her. As luck would have it, it landed just slightly to the right of their towels.

She felt sand get kicked onto the backs of her legs and her whole body tensed up when the person responsible for the rogue Frisbee, spoke up.

"Sorry about that! Wind must have caught it."

Madison recognized the smooth voice as it floated past her ears and couldn't believe all the terrible luck. She cursed Logan for making her come to this beach, of all places, today. And the fact that of all the beaches in close proximity to Los Angeles, that they'd end up at the exact same one as him.

"No problem." Logan spoke up when she saw that Madison had apparently forgotten how to speak. She handed the bright, fire engine red Frisbee over to Justin, a fake smile plastered on her face.

As Justin sauntered away from them without so much as acknowledging Madison's presence, Madison finally found her voice.

"Watch where you throw that thing next time." She yelled out to his retreating form; even just the sight of his back made her breath catch in her throat.

At her words he whirled around. "I did say sorry." He bit out.

"You're an ass."

He smirked. "Glad to see nothing's changed." He began to walk back towards her and, taking a cue from Madison, Logan got up from her towel and headed down towards the surf.

"You're right, it hasn't."

"I'm sorry. I really don't mean to be such an asshole. It's been a year; I swear I was over it all. But seeing you again just brings it out in me. Gets me in the mood to fight."

"We fought well." Madison interjected.

"Made up well too." He said with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Ugh." Madison pushed up from the ground and pushed past him to walk towards the walkway that led out to the parking lot.

Justin caught up quickly, grabbing onto her elbow to stop her.

"Don't deny it, Madi." He said with wink.

"Could you be any more bi-polar? One minute you're pissed at me and the next you're flirting with me."

"Well, which would you prefer?" he asked, leaning back against the railing.

"Neither."

Ignoring her, he spoke again. "So how's the boyfriend?" Justin asked, his tone completely void of any emotion. Other than that he could really care less.

"I don't have a boyfriend, Justin. You were it for me."

He smirked at Madison, his lips pulling into more of a sneer. "Right." He said with an eye roll.

"If you're just going to badger and name call me again, why'd you even bother with the whole ‘accidentally throwing your Frisbee my way' thing?" Madison questioned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the railing of the walkway that led down to the parking lot.

"It was an accident." He said defensively.

"To coin your phrase-right. I call bullshit. Especially since it happened only a few minutes after you spotted me."

"Do you think I wanted to talk to you, Madi? After that day we broke up, I told you that I didn't have anything else to say to you." His cold, angry blue eyes narrowed in on her, sizing up her reaction to his harsh words.

"I know." She replied quietly, eyes downcast towards the ground.

"So if you think that I'm going to just cut you down then why are you still standing here?" He saw her intake a deep breath and when she looked up at him, there were tears in her eyes. The last thing he expected to feel when he saw them was sorry.

"I don't know, Justin! I was hoping that maybe we could carry on a somewhat civilized conversation." She said hoarsely, pushing off the railing and heading down towards the parking lot and the public changing rooms.

"What for? So you could try and convince me again that you didn't cheat on me!?" he snapped, following after her.

Madison spun on her heel at his accusation, her ponytail whipping around her head. "Why bother? I defended myself over and over and gave you valid explanations for what you thought was me cheating, and all you did was cut me down and call me a whore and a slut."

"You gave excuses." He mumbled.

"You know what I don't understand?" she yelled, fire behind her green eyes now. "Is why on earth, after all of that, that I'd still love you and want to be with you? Be with someone who would be so quick to accuse me of wrong-doing when they said they trusted me wholeheartedly. Explain that to me."

"I can't explain that to you anymore..." he began, the harsh tone of his voice breaking as he took steps closer to her to lessen the distance between them, "...than I can explain to myself why, even after all I think you've done, I still compare every girl I meet to you." His words were whispered and hard to make out, but she caught them. Heard enough of what he'd said to pick up on the fact that deep down inside, he still cared too. Probably more than he wanted to admit to himself.

"I'm sorry." Madison said, words just as hushed as his had been.

"Sorry can't fix what's been done." He growled out, his hands coming up and gripping her upper arms, as he moved her backwards against the concrete wall of the public changing rooms.

"If you'd take your head out of your ass long enough and really listen..." she began to protest, wincing when his grip tightened around her sunburned arms.

"I don't want any more excuses..." He said, his lips mere centimeters from hers. "No more talking..." he whispered out, his breath tickling her lips with the words.

"Justin..." she breathed out, relaxing into his tight grip and giving her body over to him and whatever he was wanting to do with it at the current moment. "You're still talking." He teased, soft lips finally brushing over hers in an agonizingly slow caress.

Goose bumps broke out across her skin that had nothing to do with the heat outside or the burn that the sun had given her. He captured her bottom lip between his and sucked it gently, letting it pop free a second later, and she shivered against him.

"What are you..." she began to question, and felt his head shaking back and forth as his lips moved over hers skillfully, in a dance that felt as familiar and comfortable as if they'd never stopped. "I don't know. I just..." he said, tongue licking along her bottom lip, waiting to be granted entrance inside the warmth of her mouth. "...want you." He finished, before moving in to her the last few inches and pressing her body entirely up against the wall with his own, anchoring her down with his hips so that she wouldn't try and go anywhere anytime soon.

~

Madison woke with a start, sitting up straight in bed, a confused look on her face. A look to her left told her that she was most definitely not in bed with Justin. But damn, where the hell had that dream come from? It had felt entirely too real. The feel of the sand between her toes, the salt in the air making her skin sticky, Justin's cold gaze...his hands on her sunburned skin when he'd pushed her up against the concrete wall of the changing rooms.

The hairs on her arms prickled up at the memory.

Whoever said that drinking red wine before bed would give you intense, life-like dreams...hit the damn nail on the head. What she'd just woken up from was about as real as it could get.

She brushed her bangs off her forehead and rolled away from Skylar, swiping her phone off the nightstand. Quickly bringing up her text inbox, she input the familiar number and typed out the message. The chances that she'd regret doing this in the morning were pretty high but, at the moment, she didn't care.

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from but...

Reading back over what she had, she hit the delete button.

I'm sure you could probably care less about what's going on...

Dammit. That wasn't right either. And then, heart beating out of her chest, she typed the simplest thing she could to express what was going on in her head.

I think I miss you.