July 17th, 2003
Justin,
Of all the ignorant shit I’ve seen come from you over the years, that last letter might be the worst of it. On what freaking planet am I supposed to believe any of that shit? I mean… were you high when you wrote that? No wait, let me guess… to paraphrase, you ‘just love my brain’ right? Fuck off.
Furthermore, what kind of moron asks a girl out through a letter? Or did I miss the memo that said we were still in the 1800’s?
Look… I understand that you’re still upset about being cheated on. And I know people tend to lash out when they’re upset. But, asking me out isn’t the way to go.
Or, maybe you just have post-traumatic stress disorder. That’s it, isn’t it? Being cheated on has caused some sort of mental breakdown, and now you’re projecting your need for female attention onto me. In that case, I’ll let it slide. Just don’t let it happen again, ok?
Then again… this could also be seen as a desperate ploy to get laid, in which case… don’t you have millions of groupie sluts waiting to take care of that for you?
You know what… let’s pretend for a second that I decided to humor you, and actually agree to this. One.. I sincerely doubt we could make it through a single date without wanting to murder each other. Two… what makes you so sure I’d want to be seen in public with you?
See… I don’t think you’ve put much thought into this. I think you’re lonely, and that’s fine… I get it. Just… don’t use me like that.
And you know, as far as I’m concerned… that’s proof positive that whatever you think you feel is bullshit. You’re lonely, and hurt… and you want to use me to fill that hole. How the hell do you think that makes me feel, huh?
I know we’ve spent years pretending to hate each other, but deep down… I know that we’re friends, and on some level… I thought you were better than that. Even after the countless ways your terrorized my childhood, somehow… I never thought you’d stoop this low.
So, my answer is no.
-Norah
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August 2nd, 2003
Norah,
So let me get this straight… I’m not allowed to hurt your feelings, but you can fucking stomp all over mine? And what makes you think you’ve got any right to tell me how I feel. Hypocrite, much?
Honestly, I think you’re scared. If there wasn’t some type of mutual feeling here, you wouldn’t be all up in arms about this. You’d have said no, then made fun of my hair or some shit. And I get that… someone who’s never been in a relationship suddenly has someone who really wants to be with them… I can see how that’d freak you out.
But, this is me, we’re talking about Nor. Give me one example of when I lied to you. Better yet… name one time I intentionally tried to hurt your feelings.
Did I do shit to embarrass you? Sure. Did I make fun of you? More times than I can count. But I never went out of my way to hurt your feelings. Besides, any shit I said or did to you… you returned full force.
Don’t make me out to be the bad guy because I’m being fucking honest. All you had to do was say no. You didn’t have to be so god damn harsh.
-J
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September 9th, 2003
Justin,
You know… I think the easiest way to deal with this is to just forget it. You asked, I said no. End of discussion, ok?
You’re right. It isn’t my place to tell you how you feel. And yes… it probably wasn’t very nice to assume you had some ulterior motive. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’d appreciate it if we never talk about this again.
And so help me god… if you told Trace… I’m going to make sure you end up being mauled by some kind of flesh eating insect. Don’t think I won’t do it. You know exactly how that little ankle biter would act with information like this.
So anyway… how’s the tour going? Are you and Christina Assless-Chaps getting along ok?
I just started my last year of school a couple weeks ago, and I guess it’s too early for the finality to really set in. One of my teachers seems to think he can get me a job at this kind of pompous gallery in L.A. So, we’ll see what happens there.
I’m not too big on the idea of L.A, or working at some uppity gallery, but… it’s a job, right? And there’s a good possibility that it could lead to something better. So… who knows. I’ve still got some time to decide, so that’s good.
Anyway, if you talk to your mom… tell her I said hi. She hasn't called me for awhile.
-Norah
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October 13th, 2003
Norah,
I appreciate the fact that you’re trying to act like nothing happened, and I’m sorry… but I can’t do that.
And you know what’s stupid… I don’t even have to see you. Not seeing you should make it easier, and it doesn’t, and I don’t know why.
I don’t put myself out there like that, and you know it. And I sure as shit don’t make a move like that unless I think I’m gonna get a good response.
So… maybe you should just stop writing for awhile.
-Justin
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December 26th, 2003
Justin,
You didn’t exactly define ‘awhile’ so, I’m hoping almost three months is long enough.
I thought about coming to see you while you were in town last month, but when I went to buy the tickets, I lost my nerve. So, I sat at home that night and did a lot of thinking. And I still didn’t know what to do.
As stupid as it sounds, I missed getting your letters. And I missed writing you. (Yes, the fact that I’m the one who thought this was stupid, then ended up being the one who missed it, isn’t lost on me.)
Once I realized I missed your letters, I kind of figured that meant I’d miss you if you weren’t around anymore. I’m just not exactly sure what missing you means.
It could mean that I’d miss being friends with you… or, it could mean that I miss you because… well… you know. And that’s very confusing.
So… after drinking a lot of wine, I’ve come to a conclusion. I’ll go out with you on one condition.
We will not be classifying this as a ‘date.’ We’ll just be two friends going to dinner, and… we’ll see.
Just… don’t expect too much from me, ok? As you’re well aware… I don’t really know how this stuff works.
-Norah
