It had been months since their arrangement had been put in place, it had to have been in the hundreds of times they have benefited on their friendship and as Jill shuts the hotel door behind her, she still gets that crazy energy from the high she receives from him. Maybe it was the secrecy of their rendezvous that made the rush even more intensified. Maybe it was that he didn't care where they were, he was always ready and willing. That was a plus for her. She didn't want someone stuffy in her life that was only opened to making love. As great as that sounds, it's not that great. Sensual sex can be great for some people, but she can't remember the last time or if ever she had really ‘made love' to someone.

Neither Justin nor Jill let their arrangement affect their jobs. They knew at the end of the day, they had responsibilities they had to keep in check. The stage show remained just that. The kiss seemed to be heard around the world per say in this business. It was something Jill thought she would get a lot of backlash from, but the fans enjoyed it. Each night was a tossup which interaction the crowd would get.

As far as they were aware of, not a single person knew they saw each other away from the stage. Their rendezvous were usually dependent on what was going on and where they were. Many nights clothes were being ripped off and jumping into the shower together just as the show finished. It was a chance they were willing to take, simply because they couldn't wait anymore. Jill was well known to sneak into Justin's hotel room in the middle of the night and sneak back out. There were times they thought they had been caught, and times they should have been caught.

Neither had anyone to answer to, they had been single for quite some time but it was the idea that he was her boss and he was favoring her. Well, he was, just in private or sometimes not so private settings.

Justin jumped into the shower alone, for the second time of the day. The steaming hot water could wash away the sweat residue, some of her scent, and even her juices that covered his body but it could do nothing for his thoughts that he couldn't erase. The water couldn't wash away the memories of her touch, the softness of her lips, or image that was burned into his mind of her deep honey brown eyes staring back at him. He worried he was in over his head with this situation. The ‘what if' game has been playing in his head for days, he couldn't stop thinking about her. A part of him believed that it was the incredible sex he couldn't get enough of but the other part of him was worried he was involving his heart. It was their only rule and he was breaking it just by thinking this was something other than sex.

They had started seeing each other at the very least once a day, but on most days they would meet several times a day. He craved the idea of being inside of her or having his tongue in places that sent her over the edge. She had to be the strongest willed person he had ever met. He had asked her countless times for her to spend the night with him. He wanted to hold on to someone through the night, he wanted to feel the embrace of her skin as he woke up in the morning sunshine. But she never spent the night. It was a shock to see her stick around after they were finished at all, let alone the entire night.

            The tour was winding down and Justin didn't want to face the end. He knew there was more than just the end of a tour nearing. Never had he wanted to remain on the road more in this life. The days came and gone faster than he thought possible.

Words, ideas, scenarios and a crazy arrangement had his mind scattered and he couldn't sleep. He climbed out of bed and got lost in the view overlooking the city of Chicago. He missed coming here spur of the moment just to take in the city. He missed this part of who he used to be. In the short periods of time in his life when he was single, he would drop and run to places without thinking about it. But this is the first time he has done it in a very long time. After Jill left yesterday he jumped on a plane and got away. It was the next city on the tour anyways, he needed some clarity.

He had missed several calls from Trace, Johnny, and a few others he chose not to even give a second thought to. He didn't really want to talk to anyone. He wanted to disappear from the world. Against his own judgment he picked up the phone and dialed the phone number of his best friend. "Hey Trace, it's me."

"Where the hell are you man?" He started to yell through the phone, "I'm at the hotel in Toronto... we were supposed to meet this morning."

Fuck, Justin whispered to himself, running his hands over his stressed face. "I forgot man. I'm sorry."

"You don't forget things." Trace stated, thinking it was the oddest thing his friend could say to him, "You are the most anal person I know about schedules. Is everything ok with you?" he questioned.

Justin couldn't believe he had forgotten. That meeting had planned that for weeks. He knew that the William Rast things needed done. He felt bad that he was selfish and jumped on that plane without thinking about his schedule. "Just needed to get away from everything regarding the tour for a minute and take a breather. I got on a plane last night... I ended up in Chicago."

Trace kicked the concrete, nearly kicking the people walking by him. He knew what Chicago meant. "Do you want me to meet you there? I can be there in a couple hours."

Trace's tone made Justin very aware that he could tell something was going on and Justin wasn't talking. He lowered his head, knowing his friend was now worried. "I appreciate it. I think I need to be alone for a little while."

"Are you sure everything's okay?" He asked again, pacing around the entrance to the hotel. "I know what Chicago is code for, anything you want to talk about?"

Justin looked at the city below him; the beauty in this city was remarkable. "I will be fine. I feel bad for you traveling all the way to Toronto though. I will pay for that flight."

"I'm not worried about the money, I'm worried about you."

"I will fly to L.A or NYC next week, wherever you are and we will finish the stuff for William Rast." Justin was being short with him now. Justin knew that Trace knew him better than he knew himself on most days. As much as Trace tried to get out of him what was wrong, Justin couldn't answer those questions, he wasn't even sure what was wrong with him.

After his conversation with Trace, he knew he had to get out of that hotel room. He pulled a baseball cap over his head, tied his running shoes and took on the streets of Chicago. Running from block to block, street to street but nothing was helping. His every last desire was to be near her. She was like his drug that he couldn't kick. Worst of all, it was a drug he couldn't have.

            Jill stepped out the sliding glass doors, raising her hand to hail a cab. She wasn't sure why, but she had to get out of the day to day life she was living. A break would be a great thing and it would help her balance life and look at things from a different perspective. A perspective without anyone standing around her, no one to take her mind off of the things she needed to focus on, no interferences. Jobs were flowing in faster than she could even read through them. She had never been so in demand than she was right now. Justin had given her the biggest opportunity she could have ever asked for. Things were different for her than they were just last year. She knew that she had worked her ass off to get where she is today and it had all came with a price. But now, she had a choice to make.

            Her bag with only a change of clothes, a stick of deodorant, and her toothbrush hung off her shoulder as she walked the streets looking for a specific place she had to go. It was her favorite place when she was in town.

            The red and white checkerboard table covers was always the sure sign I was in the right place. The aroma of yeast and flour baking made her stomach growl in anticipation.

She took a seat next to the window, watching as everyone walked by. A young married couple was on the sidewalk with their tiny baby. They looked so happy and in love, that perfect over the moon kind of happiness that is only seen in movies. She watched as the father took the hands of the little girl and helped her walk. The waiter introduced himself, she ordered, and then he was gone again as her focus went back to the couple on the street. It was the cutest thing watching a father so into that part of a child's life.

            Without noticing what she was doing, she picked up the phone and pressed speed dial number four. The phone rang and just as she was hitting the end button, an out of breathe Justin picked up, "He-llo." He exhaled deep short breathes.

            She gripped her stomach as it turned into knots thinking something was wrong with him. "Are you alright?"

Justin found himself slowing his pace, "Yea, I'm good." He said breathlessly. "Running."

"Ohh..." She let go of the hold she had on her stomach, it was a relief. "Well... I will just... I'll call you later."

"Its fine, I'm done now. I think six miles is enough for today..."

"I think you need to run a couple more." She laughed for the first time since arriving in town. "I don't want to bother you. Call me later when you're not busy."

"Jillian." He said in an aggressive tone she has only heard from him when he had her hoisted in a position and demanding her to come. "What's up, I'm listening."

"I... I..." She sat up straighter in her chair. "I don't know why I called actually. Maybe it's just a habit, something I need to break."

"I needed to call you anyways." The line got quiet on both ends, eerie quiet. "I need to cancel our plans today." The line was quiet again. "You still there?"

"Yes, I'm here." Her gut feeling was that she was hearing the conversation that was going to end things. This was the first of many cancellations. They didn't normally make plans, things just happened. "I needed to cancel today as well."

The server comes over, "Your stuffed pizza with classic pepperoni, enjoy!"

            The silence between them was something new. They never needed a reason to pick up the phone and call one another. They always had something to talk about. Justin finally broke the silence, "Can I call you back?"

"Yeah. Sure." The line went dead and she saw the blank screen staring back at her. Confused by his rush to get off the phone, she placed the phone on the table. She couldn't stop looking at it. As if it was going to spit out the answers she needed. She sat with her fork in hand, pulling at the cheese that oozed out of the crust and couldn't bear to actually eat the food.

"That's the best pizza in Chicago or dare I say in the country and your picking at it."

Jill snapped her head up at the very familiar voice. Justin. The light inside of her clicked on. "Justin? What are you doing in Chicago?"

"Obviously the same reason you are." he sat down across from her placing his hands on his lap, fidgeting with them before placing them on the table.

She smiled at him, taking in the gorgeous blue eyes that sat in front of her. "Sometimes, I just need a breather and Chicago does that for me."

Justin shook his head at her admission. They had both needed to get away. They had both ended up in Chicago. What were the odds of that happening?

"You want some?" she offered.

The smile on his face brightens the dim face he had been. The both were thinking the same thing, but decided not to act upon it, just yet... "Do you mind?"

"I'll share with you..." Jill waved down the waitress and asked for a second plate and extra place setting.

            They talked for hours about anything. All those random things you ever wanted to know about someone. Maybe against their better judgment they ended up back at Justin's hotel suite continuing their conversation. It was the breath of fresh air they both needed so badly.

            The movie they put on was noise in the background. They were more interested in what each other had to say. Justin leaned against the arm of the couch, allowing a perfect place for her to sit. Climbing into his lap, she digs her knees into the material of the couch. Finding a comfortable spot she looks relaxed. "What's something random I don't know about you?

He chuckled taking his pointer finger and thumb, rubbing them on his chin. "I speak in lyrics sometimes. It's how my crazy mind works."

She bursts into laughter. "Sorry... I'm not making fun of you."

"Sure you aren't." He tries pushing her off him, playing with her and her comments. "Get off my dick then."

"No way, I like it here... She adjusts herself back on top of him, wiggling on his groin. "Seriously, I thought I was the only one that did that. I catch myself doing it all the time. I quote movie lines as well." Jill was full of questions; she fired immediately the next question at him. "What's something you want that you can't buy? Excluding the love crap."

"Aren't you just a hopeless romantic?" he laughed rolling his eyes at her lack of interest in love. He had her hands intertwining them with his, "I have written many songs about my relationships, my heartbreak, and even a version of my happiness but I would love for someone to write a song for me, about me, completely with me in mind. And hopefully it would be a happy love song."

"Awe." He leaned down, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, "You need to find yourself a songwriter then."

Justin's demeanor on his face changed. "Why don't you let anyone close to your heart?"

She looked away from him, contemplating answering the question at all. She still couldn't look at him when the words did flow out. "It opens the option for someone to hurt me."

He maneuvers their bodies to lay flat on the couch as he climbs on top of her, pinning her down. Caressing the side of her face with his thumbs he asks, "Who broke you?"

Jill closed her eyes, not wanting to think about the past at all. She wanted to focus on the right now. She opened her eyes, pulling his face down to hers. "Kiss me."

He shook his head no, but he wasn't going anywhere, she had a death grip on his face. Instead of waiting for him she took full advantage, taking his mind off of the questions he wanted to ask and making him quite aware of why she was there in the first place.

"Stay with me. Stay the night." Justin asks in an almost beg. She couldn't for some reason say no, but she couldn't say yes either. His arms gripped around her, pulling her as close as he could get her, resting his chin on her shoulder; he breathes in the normalcy he craved and she found a level of comfort in his arms.

Jill had fallen asleep on that couch with Justin. As she slowly opens her eyes she gets to see him in a way she has never seen him before. The beauty in his face as his head rests on the pillow. The peace that resided in the face of a man that never seemed to have a moment's peace. She climbed off the couch slowly, trying to not wake him.  She stood on her feet for a minute, attempting to get the blood to flow correctly in her legs. She threw on his t-shirt and her jeans and slide out of the hotel room without waking him.