I talked Justin into staying at my place, even though he hated my bed, since I had to get up for work the next day.
I was sure to wake him up at six am with a lot of noise and opening and closing of cupboards and drawers, and then made everything okay by inviting him to join me in the shower.
I made it to work twenty minutes late, which didn’t matter since management would be away all week, and endured the ribbing of my co-workers who teased me about why I was late.
I was deeply focused on my work all morning and decided that the pile of filing that I had been putting off for days wasn’t going to do itself, and it was time to get it out of the way while I had the motivation to do it.
I took the armful of papers and my access key and headed to the secure filing room wondering if I would get to see Justin that night.
I swiped my access key and the lock light beeped green and I opened the door and went inside closing the door behind me.
Ordinarily I hated the filing room.
It was dark and dank and the fireproofing meant that nothing in there was flammable. Just cold concrete and steel shelving as far as the eye could see.
I looked out into the abyss of files and sighed placing my pile of filing down and picking up the first of many reports to be inserted into their files wishing I’d sorted them alphabetically first.
“W…right down the end…of course,” I said making my way down through the maze of narrow shelves.
Turning into the row marked “w” I scanned the files looking for the one I needed.
A shuffling sound caught my attention and my head snapped around to see where it came from.
Things sounded so loud inside the filing room, but this sounded close.
I listened hard, wondering if maybe I had dragged my foot and made the sound myself, but then I saw a plastic bag on the floor in the “T’s” and I sighed with relief, laughing at how one’s mind played tricks on you at the worst time. I sighed and turned back to my search.
“Hey-“
A voice came from behind me and I screamed out loud, but as I turned to see who had shocked me I lost my footing and grabbed a shelf to keep from falling. My weight caused the shelf to snap off its support, sending a full shelf of files crashing down on top of me as I fell to the floor in a narrow space.
“Sophie! Holy shit, Soph are you okay?”
I recognized the voice now and Adrian knelt down beside me pulling the files off my body as I tried to sit up.
“Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” He asked taking me by the arm and guiding me so I was sitting upright.
“Ow! Fuck, that really hurt,” I groaned grabbing my elbow which landed first on the hard concrete floor.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that. Here, let me help you up.”
He reached around and grabbed my sides, pulling up out of the mountain of files that had fallen all around me until I was up on my feet, still holding my elbow.
“You alright?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, I’m just embarrassed…and my elbow hurts,” I whined, rubbing it to try and shake away the smarting pain.
“Here let me have a look,” he said, taking my arm and raising my elbow close to his face.
“Hmm…you’re okay, it’s just grazed,” he said, examining it closely and blowing off some dust that was sticking before he brushed at it with his hand.
“Thanks,” I smiled awkwardly, avoiding looking at him by examining my elbow and then looking down at the files at my feet.
“I suppose I should put these back,” I laughed nervously.
“Here, I’ll give you a hand,” he said bending to help me pick up the files that had fallen from the shelf.
“You don’t have to do that,” I protested, but only for the fact that out of the two of us, I seemed to be the only one who was finding this somewhat uncomfortable.
He just didn’t seem to remember anything happened between us.
“No, it’s okay, I’d rather hang out here with you than go back to my desk and sift through marketing reports,” he said, lifting up handfuls of folders into his arms and placing them back on the shelf.
I couldn’t find anything to say so we were silent for a while, just picking up folders and sheets of paper trying to work out the order they should go in as we went along.
He smelled like cologne and ironing starch and his beard had grown out a little, and it was hard not to notice his forearms peeking out of the rolled up sleeves of his light, mint colored business shirt.
“Ooh,” he said, suddenly looking up at me and staring at me closely.
“What?” I froze, searching his face to try and work out why he was staring at me that way and then I noticed he had a drop of blood on his hand and I immediately swiped at my forehead and around my hair line, but there was nothing there
“Turn,” he ordered, taking my shoulders and spinning me away from him and he lifted my hair up to reveal a cut on my hairline at the back of my neck where I’d hit my head without even realizing it.
“You’re cut,” he informed me.
“What? How bad?”
“Not bad, but I’d better clean it up. Wait here,” he said squeezing by me in the narrow space to get out into the isle.
“Shouldn’t I go to the first aid officer?” I asked and he turned.
“I am the first aid officer,” he said and I snickered.
“Of course you are,” I said, but more to myself as I held the back of my neck.
“Wait here, I’ll be back,” he ordered and I could hear his footsteps clicking down the concrete for what seemed like ages before the door to the filing room opened and closed. Being in that small space with him was not doing me any favors and despite how well things were going with Justin there was still something so much more certain about Adrian that kept tripping me up.
I sighed and leaned back against the shelves closing my eyes and then thought better of placing any amount of weight on them and promptly straightened back up again, and before I had too much time to think about it, I could hear Adrian re-enter the filing room.
His hands loaded with gauze, tape, cotton pads, rubbing alcohol and antiseptic, and he dropped it all onto an empty shelf and rubbed some alcohol into his hands to disinfect them.
“Okay let’s see here.”
It wasn’t necessary, but I allowed him to do it, because he was a nice guy and that’s what he did.
He doted and made a big deal out of little cuts and bumped elbows, and that, I guessed, was also part of his appeal.
“Hold you hair up,” he instructed behind me and a chill ran up my spine feeling his breath against my neck as he spoke.
I did as he instructed and I was tense as he prepared the rubbing alcohol.
“This is going to sting,” he warned me, but I doubted I would feel anything at that moment.
He began to lightly dab the alcohol soaked cotton pad on my neck and immediately I tensed up and sucked my breath in. Okay maybe I would feel it.
He blew on my neck to try and counter the pain and I closed my eyes and bit my lip, about ready to lose my cool.
What was wrong with me? Why was I doing this to myself?
By the time he bandaged my neck with gauze and tape, I almost wanted to run right out of the filing room.
I couldn’t shake the fact that no matter how much I tried to suppress my feelings for Adrian, when he was right there in my presence his smile, his eyes, his voice still got to me and I was starting to think that maybe the only way around it was to not be in the same room alone with him anymore.
“All done,” he said finally and I sighed and dropped my hair and turned to face him and as I looked up into his eyes it was undeniable, and for that moment whatever it was between us seemed bigger than us both and caught me completely off guard.
It wasn’t him and it wasn’t me who made the first move, but before I knew what we were doing we meet each other half way in deeply intense and passionate kiss.
It was warm and familiar and didn’t feel at all wrong.
I was too far from thought for reasoning to reach me.
His beard was coarse and grating, but it felt good even though I could tell he was trying not to be too rough.
His hands were pushing on the small of my back, and I could feel we were going too far, and I don’t know how far I would have let him take it if sense had not first reached him and he stopped it all, stepping away from me breathing hard.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he breathed as I touched my lips that still tingled and slightly burning.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk and my heart was drumming away inside my chest as he bent down to continue picking up files, but then he stopped as he reached up to lower the files on the shelf, his wrist high up as he faced me.
“I’m not going to tell you to chose between us, it’s not my style,” he said quietly, “but if this thing with Justin runs it’s course, like I think it will, and I know you do too…give me call… maybe we can pick up where we left off,” he said simply, stepping past me out of the isle and making his way out of the filing room, leaving me there to deal with the conflict of feeling intensely turned on, but also ashamed and angry with myself at what I had just done.
Immediately all I could think about was whether or not I was going to tell Justin, and that thought consumed my thoughts for the rest of the my working day.
I decided to leave a half hour early because I was suddenly claustrophobic in that office and every time Adrian walked past my desk my stomach turned.
I started wondering how I would cope having to see him there at work every day, and if my feelings for him would ever dissipate.
One thing was certain though; I had to keep him at arms distance from me at all times.
On my way home I stopped and bought myself a bottle of wine to numb me from the feeling of despicableness I felt.
Once in the door, routine took over and I tended to my pets, vacuumed, did a little dusting and prepared my clothes for work the next day.
I found Justin’s white t-shirt beside my bed and picked it up, feeling the soft cotton in my hands and smiling.
It smelled like him and I laughed out loud at myself for sniffing his shirt and the look on his face if he was there to see me do it.
I peeled off my own t-shirt and put his on and I gave it one last deep sniff before making my way into the kitchen to open my bottle of wine.
I knew I should have eaten something, but I wasn’t hungry and though I didn’t need to drink so much any more, the fact that I was wearing Justin’s shirt made me feel a little sexy and wine was a perfect way to take that feeling up a notch or two.
I put on some music and poured myself a generous glass of wine, unable to believe how something as simple as a soft, cotton t-shirt that belonged to Justin could pull me so far up out of my dark mood.
Maybe I was fooling myself a little and ignoring the fact that Adrian wasn’t around, but I resolved not to let him get to me that way anymore.
Justin had all of my attention now and that was how I wanted it to remain for as long as it possibly could.
I couldn’t sit down, so I was pacing around my living room playing a little with Barney and dancing a little to the music.
The wine was doing its thing and just when the thought occurred to me to call Justin and see what he was up to, I heard a loud knock at my door.
“Oh my God! Great minds!” I exclaimed to myself and rushed over to the door careful not to spill any of my wine.
“Helloooo,” I sang as I swung the door open and took moment just to look at him.
“Oh my goodness,” I sighed touching his green and white, plaid shirt, “I love this.”
“Thanks, I like yours too,” he said tugging at his shirt which I had on, and I giggled and stepped aside to let him in.
“You drunk?” he asked coming inside and closing the door behind him.
“No, I’m just happy to see you,” I responded as a weary smile crept up on his face.
“Maybe I’m just not used to you actually being happy to see me. Usually you’re more like “Oh…it’s you,” or something like that,” he said imitating my usual indifference and I sighed and cocked my head looking up at him.
“Things have changed between us over the last week or two,” I said and he nodded.
“Yeah…still…what’s with the wine?”
“I like wine,” I said into the glass as I took another sip, and then offering it to him. “Let’s get drunk!”
He was now very suspicious.
“Why?”
“Why? Since when do you ask why?” I asked as he gently guided me out of the hallway into the lounge room and turned down the speaker so that my blaring music was a little softer.
“We always get drunk together, I mean we don’t go out, we don’t have the same friends, so we always watch movies and get drunk.”
“We drink a little, but we don’t always get drunk,” he corrected, “Is something up?”
I looked up at him and sighed.
“Oh God, Daaad, you’re totally killing my buzz,” I whined, my shoulders slumping as I collapsed on my couch and he peeled off his jacket and sat heavily beside me.
I went to take a sip of wine, but he pulled the glass away from me and I protested immediately.
“Wow, what the fuck?”
“You can drink yourself into a stupor in a minute,” he said placing my wine glass on the coffee table and then sitting back on the sofa giving me his full attention.
“So obviously something happened with Andrew Beige.”
“Can you stop calling him that?” I sighed, closing my eyes at the fact that I was apparently made of glass.
“Why do you care what I call him?”
“Because he’s a nice guy and I’m the one that fucked him over for you, so I think he deserves at least to be called by his name.”
“Is he bothering you?”
“What? No!”
“You sure?” Justin asked and I almost laughed.
“You mean like you bothered me when I decided I wanted to be with him? No, he wouldn’t do that.”
“Well, are you bothering him?” Justin asked me and my stomach turned.
I reached for my glass, but he was quick and pushed it beyond my reach.
“Soph…” his tone of voice was cautionary.
“No one is bothering anyone,” I said finally, deciding to lie since I’d promised myself that Adrian was no longer going to be an issue.
“So the wine is just for shits and giggles then?” he enquired, seeming to relax a bit more, but now I had well and truly crashed.
“It was,” I said bitterly.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said stroking the top of my head heavily so my head fell backward, “it’s just, usually when you drink like that it because something is up.”
It kind of made me feel good to know that he could see patterns in my behavior, but this time I wished he didn’t.
“I’m good,” I assured him and though I was unsuccessful at convincing myself, he was none the wiser and reached to collect my wine glass and give it back to me.
I took it with a lot less enthusiasm as I would have five minutes ago, feeling like I should have told Justin about what happened
“What are we doing tonight, what’s the plan?” He asked seeming to forget about the conversation just passed, but now I was back to feeling terrible.
“No plans,” I said quietly staring down at my almost empty glass, feeling so weighted inside that it was impossible to hide.
“Hey,” he said tucking my hair behind my ear to get my attention and I looked over at him.
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, I just know you, Soph. You’re the exact opposite of me; when something is bugging you, you sweep it under the rug but I can tell something is up and I know when you’re ready it will come out, but I just need you to know, that I know…you know?”
I nodded. There wasn’t any use hiding it I supposed.
“I just…” I began and then stopped short because how do you tell the man that you chose that the man you didn’t choose still has an effect on you?
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” I began turning to him, but not really able to look at him, “but the fact that we don’t really know why we chose to be with each other doesn’t help with me having to see Adrian every day. I’m not saying that I think I made the wrong decision,” I added quickly, “I just-“
“No, I get it,” Justin shrugged, “don’t think I’ve forgotten the fact that you were set to marry the guy before I confused everything by getting you drunk and giving you the best sex you ever had,” he said puffing his chest comically and I smiled a little, and then he was back to being serious again.
“I remember how you talked about him and I know seeing him everyday would be confusing for you, I get it,” he said nodding, “but you know what,” he asked and I looked up at his eyes, waiting for the rest. “I have you now. We’re doing okay and I’m not ready to let you go. So Andrew Beige is going to have to find some other way to amuse himself.”
He spoke with enough conviction to sound very sure and I smiled at him as he once again displayed exactly why he had won me over in the first place.
“Capiche?”
“Capiche,” I grinned.
“I’m sorry for being so indecisive, but I just wanted to be honest with you,” I said and he nodded.
“I know Soph…but just so you know, after this weekend, there won’t be any confusion.”
“What do you mean,” I enquired, not quite sure what he meant by that.
“Because Friday night, when you’re done at work, you me and Barney are going on a little road trip upstate. I rented a place for the weekend…we’re either going to have an awesome time or one of us is coming back in a body bag.”
Story Tags: friendsturnedlovers celebrityj triangles
