Leaving the next day was near impossible.

I didn’t want to wake Justin as he laid beside me face down, but I wanted to make sure we had a chance to talk.

He got up without too much fuss and bother and I waited for him downstairs in my apartment so that I was there for the removals.He milled around in my apartment keeping Barney out of the way while burly men came in and out, lugging my belongings down to an awaiting truck that would follow me to Houston.

I was on a time budget and we didn’t have a chance to talk until he insisted on driving me to the airport and we were alone in his car.

“Let’s not make a big deal about this okay, it’s six months, I’ll visit you, you’ll visit me let’s…let’s just keep this in perspective okay?”

He was being very cool about the whole thing which would have upset me if I didn’t know it was all bravado. My cool exterior belied my inner hankering to hear him tell me that is was in fact a very big deal.

He kept looking at me though and it was an almost unspoken understanding between us, that as cool as we were being, we were kicking ourselves for leaving it until the day before I left to finally open up to each other.

Six month wasn’t a huge amount of time in the scheme of things, but it was a long time at this very precarious stage in our relationship. Before felt like a practice run and this time, it felt like the real deal and we both knew that if it didn’t work this time around then it never would.

So I wondered then, what was wrong with being emotional about leaving him? After how long it took for him to admit his feelings for me, then why was it a big deal if I overreacted a little and made a big deal of the fact that I would miss him.

“Can you just tell me one thing?” I asked watching mid morning weekend traffic pass us on the Van Wyck expressway. “Are we together, and are we going to try to make this work, or did you just tell me you loved me because you had to say it and you knew I’d be gone the next day?”

“What kind of question is that,” he asked immediately and defensively.

“Don’t get annoyed, I’m just asking you an honest question; are we going to try and see through these six months together or are we going to do our own thing and see what happens when I get home?”

He still seemed annoyed.

“Soph, I don’t know how much more succinct I can be about how I feel about you.”

“I am not asking you how you feel about me, I know how you feel, I am asking you if we’re committed to each other over this period apart, or if someone approaches me, do I say, “No, thanks, I have someone waiting for me at home,” knowing that you will say the same thing...are we going to do that?”

“Yes,” he said with an adamant nod, “what the hell does “I love you” entail where you’re from?” he asked.

“I’m just wondering ‘cause you’re being very blasé, and if it is the case then I think it’s warranted if we want to lose a little perspective and make a big deal of the fact that we’re going to be apart for six months,” I replied making my point which he quickly realized and his shoulder relaxed.

“I didn’t mean our relationship wasn’t a big deal, you know that, I just meant that six months seems a long time now, but it’s going to go by fast and before we know it you’ll be back home.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t feel that way. I feel like six months is forever, it’s going to feel like forever and I’m unapologetic about behaving like I am going to miss the crap out of you.”

Justin smiled as he watched the road, his hand finding mine as he turned to me briefly.

“Will it make you feel better if I made a bigger deal?”

“Wouldn’t kill ya,” I mumbled bitterly much to his amusement as he laughed to himself, keeping my fingers clasped with his while he performed driving functions.

We made it to the airport and I walked in alone to check in my pets and my suitcase before I went back to the parking where he was still inside the car. He put his sunglasses back on and got out.

We stood and faced each other with that awkward smile that said “Well…this is it.” I felt heavy inside with the reluctance to leave him and what we’d started, but I didn’t want to make too big a deal.

“Call me when you get there,” he said predictably and I smiled and leaned against him, “call me when you’re bored, call me when you’re lonely, call me whenever you want.”

“I will,” I assured him with a sigh taking a moment to store his scent and touch in my memory as I hugged him tightly.

“When are you going to come and visit?” I asked almost sounding pathetic and he drew back and looked down at me.

“We’ll work it out together once you’re there and you’re settled, but I’ll be there, I promise.”

I was starting to feel overwhelmed by his stare and his voice so I kissed him and stepped back, quickly gathering up my carry-on and laptop bag.

“Okay, I gotta go,” I said sounding all business but softened it with a smile.

“See you on the flip side,” he said holding up his fist and we pounded our knuckles together cheesily as I laughed and started heading towards the gate.

I turned and waved once I was close to the entrance and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and mouthed “I love you,” sending my heart into a flutter as I mouthed my response.

“Ma’am” a security said gently trying to get my attention as I was blocking the entrance for all the other travelers.

“Sorry,” I apologized and stepped towards the entrance way, still looking back at him, too taken by how he was watching me to notice a blonde blur racing away behind him.

“Waaaaaaait!!! Sophiiiieeeee wait for meeeeee!”

Justin turned when he heard someone calling out to me, as Jules cantered towards him juggling a couple of bags in her arms.

She stopped next to Justin and looked up at him momentarily.

“Oh my God, Hi!,” she greeted him, speaking fast and then continuing to run towards me as I walked back to meet her half way.

“Jules what are you doing here?”

“I…I…” She huffed taking a big breath in to try and fill her lugs with some much needed air, “I am coming with you to help you settle in,” she exclaimed still catching her breath and I jumped on her in my excitement and wrapped my arms around her.

“I wanted to surprise you and be here first, but I was running late!”

“Oh my God, Jules you’re so freaking awesome I love you!”

She patted my back, still catching her breath and I let her go and she nodded.

“I know, I know,” she said re adjusting her bags over her shoulders and then she leaned in close and clenched her teeth.“Introduce the Timberlake, please.”

I laughed and walked back to Justin, who by now had worked out that the frantic blonde girl did in fact know me.

“Justin, this is my very, very best friend Julianne, Jules, this is Justin.”

“Nice to meet you Julianne,” he smiled politely holding out his hand and she took it.

“Nice to meet you too, “she breathed and though she sounded fine, I could tell he already had her flustered and I smiled to myself amused at how she was staring up at him adoringly.

“So this is the one I was telling you about who has a thing for your friend,” I announced as she gasped and turned to me shocked, slapping me with the back of her hand.

“I can’t believe you told him!”

“Oooooh, so it’s yooooou,” Justin sang knowingly with a narrow eyed smiled and Julia suddenly didn’t appear so eager to be his company.

“It’s not a thing, I-I-I-I just think he’s attractive,” she stumbled trying to play it down but there was no way Justin was going to let her off that easily.

“So you don’t like him?”

“No, I do…I mean-”

“Have you met him?”

“No, but-“

“Then how do you know you like him?”

“I just-“

“You sure you didn’t mistake him for someone else?” he asked and I could see she was overwhelmed, but I was enjoying this way too much to intervene.

“This is so much more fun, when I am not the one he’s doing it to,” I grinned and Justin finally took pity on my thoroughly flustered friend and pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just messing with you Jules, you know what?” he asked and pulled back to look down at her earnestly as he held onto her shoulders.

“What?”

“You seem way too sweet and are much too beautiful to ever deserve a debauched, derisive, bigheaded dwarf like Trace Ayala.”

“Can we still introduce them for my enjoyment,” I asked holding my hand in the air to attach my two cents in and Justin looked at me disapprovingly.

“Shame on you, this is your best friend!”

“Hey, you just called your own friend a debauched, derisive whatever else,” I replied as checked the time to see it was boarding time.

“And I was showing restraint,” he shrugged.

“Oh I don’t know, Jules can be pretty debauched herself when she wants to be,” I informed him.

“I’m sure she still not even a shade on Trace,” he said with certainty and I turned to Jules and sighed.

“We better go,” I said and Jules nodded, appearing as though she still was trying to collect herself.

“Okay yes, I’m ready to board now,” she said calmly, pushing her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose and I looked at Justin and smiled.

“It was nice to meet you Jules, and maybe I’ll try and make it out there before you head back to New York and we can hang out a bit more. Take care of her for me, okay,” he instructed her and she laughed.

“Ooooh-ho-ho I’ll take care of her alright!”

I smiled at him one last time following Jules back towards the security line buoyed by the thought of maybe seeing him again before my first week in Houston was over.