“That’s Will Smith’s house,” Justin pointed out.

“Are you serious?” Sheridan said, with wide eyes. “I love Will Smith.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool actually. He came to one of my shows last summer with his kids. He’s funny as hell.” Justin stared out the window. The memory was clear in his mind. The muffled screams of the crowd. The various reporters and photographers surrounding them. He and Trace standing in front of Will and his two star struck looking kids, laughing together about how stupid the press could be at times like this. He smiled at the memory, but it quickly faded away. The image of the black Jeep in the side view mirror was making him uneasy. He was sure it was the same one he had noticed when they had pulled out of his neighborhood. There was nothing odd about the car of course, but he knew there wouldn’t be…

That was how they planned it. He wondered how the hell the guy had known he was going to be coming here today. He couldn’t have…this was a random thing. What? Had he simply been camped outside of the house, day after day…awaiting his arrival? He didn’t want to believe it, but at the same time knew…it could very well be true. If the press got a hold of pictures of him now, they would be worth three times as much as they would have before. He knew…because he was in a wheelchair. People loved drama, and the press loved to give it to them.

On instinct he pulled the hat he was wearing lower over his eyes, and rolled up the window. He almost felt relieved, but then he realized that this wasn’t like before. This wasn’t his Jag…or his Escalade…or any of the other cars he rode around in with tints on the windows. This was Sheridan’s car…it’s windows were clear as day. Anybody could see him.

“Sheridan, turn here,” he said, in a hurried tone.

She looked at him strangely. “Why?”

“Just do it okay?”

She did. He glanced in the mirror again. The Jeep was still there. He groaned. “Dammit.”

“What?” Sheridan asked. “What’s wrong?”

He chewed on the end of his thumbnail nervously. “We’re being followed.”

“Followed?” she said. “Why on earth do you think that?”

“Just look in the mirror.”

Sheridan glanced in her rearview mirror. Justin saw her eyes widen. “Is that--”

“Press,” he told her.

“But how?,” she said. “We snuck out here.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” He shook his head. “They found me.”

“Justin.” She looked at him. Her eyes were full of fear. “I’ve never been up here before. I-I dunno how I’m supposed to get you out of here. They can’t…I can’t let them get pictures of you. My Mom--”

“Calm down,” he interrupted.

She wouldn’t look at him. Her gaze was intense on the road. “Justin--”

He grabbed one of her hands. “Look, you trust me right?”

She glanced at him. “Yes.”

“Then just listen to me, and do what I say. I’ll get us out of here…I’ve done this a million times.”

“O-okay,” she got out.

“Speed up, and turn down a random street,” he commanded. This was all too familiar. The only thing that was missing from the situation was a loud booming stereo, and Trace at his side. He closed his eyes.

“Where do I go!”

His eyes snapped open, at the sound of her worried voice. He glanced around. This was the neighborhood. He was shocked…it was so…easy. Why? Was there a catch? There wasn’t anytime to think about it. That Jeep had gotten a little bit behind, and it was the perfect opportunity to disappear down that road. “There’s going to be this hidden roadway coming up,” he told her. “Just keep going and I’ll tell you when to turn.” He squeezed her hand. He noticed she was shaking a little. It was so strange to him…her being the one in need instead of him. But it made him feel a little more like a man. He smiled. “It’s okay Sheridan.”

She looked at him. Her eyes were telling him how grateful she was. “Okay.”

Justin looked in the mirror again. The Jeep was still there, but he knew if he had her speed up, they might lose it for a few seconds. Then he saw the turn. “Quick, there it is…speed up and turn down that way. He’ll never know what happened.”

She did. He heard the sound of the Jeep whizzing by them. It was over. It was over and the guy hadn’t even gotten a picture. He sighed. “You did it,” he told her, giving her hand another squeeze. “It’s over.” They continued down the road, and eventually wound up right where he knew they would. It was the same…the trees…the overgrown grass. The place hadn’t been touched. And Justin wondered if anybody besides himself and Trace had ever come upon it.

Sheridan turned off the car. “What is this place?”

“We used to come here,” he said after a moment. “Trace and I…when we wanted to get away.”

She laughed out loud. “And you said…that you weren’t a gay couple.”

He didn’t find the humor in the situation. This was a sacred place for him. It had been a place that nobody else knew about, besides himself and Trace. It was like Coldplay…but even more special. “It’s not like that,” he mumbled.

Sheridan rolled her eyes at him. “Geez…sorry.”

“This is…it’s just a place we used to come, ya know? To clear our heads. We’d come…and we’d smoke, and nobody would know. Do you have any idea how good that felt? To have a place to go where nobody could spy on you?”

She cocked her head to the side. “Smoke what?”

He let out a little laugh. “Weed.”

“Ugh,” she grunted. “That’s so stupid, Justin.”

“Oh come on Sher,” he said. “Like you never tried it before.”

She was silent for a moment. “If I told you I haven’t…does that make me a loser or something?”

She hadn’t touched the stuff. He could tell. Did that make her a loser? No, but in his former life…he probably would have laughed at her…called up his dealer, and pressured her into trying the stuff. “Of course it doesn’t.”

“Did you do a lot of drugs?” She asked him.

He shook his head. “No…it was mostly pot. I mean, Trace and I tried speed once…but he got really sick from it, so we didn’t try it again. I dunno, I never got into the whole drug craze. A lot of people I knew did, but that was a road I never went down. I mean, I could of…I know I could of…but something was always there to distract me. I mean…I drank a lot…” he began. His breath caught in his throat. Then the memory took hold, and swept him away again.

“Justin?”

His eyes snapped open, and he jumped a little. “Huh?”

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You were…doing that thing you do,” she whispered. “That closing your eyes…trembling thing.”

“Oh,” he whispered. “Sorry.”

“You okay?” Her gaze was full of worry.

He put her hand to his cheek and smiled. “I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” she whispered.

“No,” he blurted out, his eyes wide. “No.”

She bit her lip. “Okay.” She glanced out the window and back again. “Do you want to get out of the car…maybe…sit by the tree or something?”

“Let’s just sit here awhile,” he said softly. “I don’t want to have to get all situated out there and then have to come back.”

She nodded. “Okay.” She turned the key in the ignition and rolled down the windows. “This is nice, Justin,” she after a moment.

He felt her hand in his. He gave it a squeeze and looked at her. This time he wasn’t afraid. It felt normal to feel her hand in his. It felt normal to gaze at her, and think about what it would feel like to touch her…kiss her. He smiled. “Sheridan.”

She turned her gaze toward him. “Yeah?” She looked nervous, as if she knew what was about to happen.

He pulled her towards him. Now their faces were just inches apart. She smelled like peaches…so sweet. He traced a pattern down her face with his finger, and smiled. “Hi.”

She laughed. “Hello.”

He felt it. His eyes closing…his lips brushing against hers. He opened his eyes again. She looked stunned.

“Oh God…” she moaned. “Justin…I’m so…I’m so sorry.”

“Shh,” he hissed. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He gazed into her eyes. There was that numbness again…that numbness that had scared him the first time around. It wasn’t so bad now. He knew it was a good thing. He figured, it was better than feeling nothing at all. “Sheridan,” he said, with a small smile. “Can I do that again?”

“We shouldn’t,” she whispered. “It’s not right.”

“Screw the rules. I…I want to kiss you. Please Sher…just one more time.”

She sighed. “But--”

He didn’t give her time to respond. He kissed her again, harder…longer. It felt so amazing. It had been so long since he had made contact with a girl like this…a girl that he sort of had feelings for. He worked his lips down her neck, onto her bare shoulder…

“Justin.” She whispered, pulling away from him. “Justin, you know we can’t.”

“We can’t what?” he grumbled. “We can’t…we can’t have feelings for each other because your mother wouldn’t approve?”

“No,” she said. “We can’t have feelings for each other because I don’t approve. I’m supposed to be caring for you…helping you to get better. I’m not supposed to be…daydreaming about you…or…oh god…kissing you.” She ran a hand through her hair. “This isn’t right.”

“You don’t believe that,” he told her. “I know you don’t Sher. If you did, you wouldn’t have kissed me that day.”

A tear ran down her face. “That day was a mistake.”

“When was the last time you felt this way about somebody Sheridan?” he asked.

She was silent.

“Or did your father’s passing hurt you so much, that you haven’t let anybody in since then?”

“Stop it!” she yelled. “You don’t have any right to say that!”

“Right,” he said. “Just like you don’t have the right to pry into what happened to me...but you do it anyway. Face it Sheridan…we’re the same kind of people. You know it…you’ve always known it. And now I know it too.”

She became enraged. As enraged as he had become the day she had first tried to get him to open up. “You’re wrong! You’re so wrong! I…I’m fine!” she sobbed. “My father died a long time ago! It doesn‘t matter to me anymore.”

It was the first time he had ever seen her crack. He was a little surprised. He hadn’t thought Sheridan was an emotional person. She carried her self so well…and hadn’t seemed to care when he had degraded her to her face. But now here she was…an emotional mess, and he was the one trying to calm her down. The tables had turned, but Justin knew that it probably wouldn’t last long. “Look…I’m not like other people Sheridan,” he pointed down at his legs. “You know that. You can talk to me.”

She covered her mouth with her hand, and looked away from him. “I don’t…I try not to do this in front of patients.”

“Look at me,” he whispered.

She did.

“I’m not just some patient.”

“You wanna know?” she said.

He nodded.

“I feel like…,” she paused and sucked in a breath. “That if I let myself be in love, then it’s like…what happened to my father doesn’t matter. It’s like, I would be forgetting what I did to him.“

Justin was silent. He knew he couldn’t really tell her otherwise…because he was going through the same thing in a way. He couldn’t let himself be truly happy…because of what he had done to Trace. He knew that even if he and Sheridan got into a relationship, the memory of what had happened would always be right there, reminding him of what he had done every day, every hour…every minute. “I know what’s going on in your head,” he said. “I can’t tell you not to feel that way…because I feel exactly like that…like I can’t just let go and be happy.” He took her hand in his. “But at the same time…I still want to kiss you, and I know that it’s wrong…but I can’t help what I feel Sher. You do something to me ya know?” He pointed to his chest. “In here.” She hugged him. He held her close. “I’m sorry that I feel this way about you. You’re right to say that it’s wrong.”

She pulled away from him and looked at him. “Remember before…you said screw the rules right?”

“Uh…yeah.”

“So if you can say it…I can say it too then,” she nodded.

He smiled. He felt his throat tighten. Then the tears came. “You sure?”

She kissed him. “Yes.”

“I’m glad we did this,” he told her. He ran his hand through her silky hair, and pecked her lightly on the mouth. “Thank you.”

“No,” she got out. “Thank you, Justin.”