“So where is he?”
Sheridan finished lacing up her boot, before replying. “He’s out there.”
Marcy looked out the window. “Outside?”
She chuckled, and straightened herself. “Yes. Justin feeds the horses. It‘s part of his therapy. He does it once in the morning, and then once in the afternoon.”
“I heard he doesn’t like horses,” Marcy informed her. She slipped her jacket on, and zipped it up. “You know, he fell off of one once.”
Sheridan looked at her friend strangely. “He fell off of one? When? He never told me that.”
“Oh it was a long time ago. Back before NSYNC was popular over here. I guess they were filming some music video, and he fell off of the horse he was riding. He broke his arm.” She jutted out her bottom lip. “Poor Justin.”
Sheridan sighed. So that was why Justin was so skittish around horses. Sheridan wished he would have told her about it. She knew she could have helped him get over his fear. But he hadn’t. And she knew there were probably a lot of things she didn’t know about him. Suddenly, she was glad they had decided to tone their relationship down for a while. She didn’t want to be with somebody that she barely knew. “You wanna go out there with me?” she asked Marcy, with an amused smile. “You know, to see how he’s doing.”
“Really?” she said, with a nervous smile. “You trust me?”
Sheridan laughed. “Of course I do.”
“Yes!” Marcy squealed.
“Come on.” She pulled her friend out the back door.
“What if he thinks I’m dumb?” Marcy asked. “Or…what if he just doesn’t like me?”
“He’s not like that,” Sheridan told her. “And if he was…he’s not like that now.”
“He was nice when I met him. He called me a sweetheart, and oh god…then he kissed me on the cheek.”
“And that’s when you wet yourself?” Sheridan giggled.
Marcy glared at her. “Shh.”
“I’m going to tell him,” she smirked.
Marcy’s eyes became wide. “You wouldn’t!” she whined. “Sher! Please don’t! Omigod…I’ll die!”
“Oh calm down.” Sheridan rolled her eyes. “Do you really think I’d do that to you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, thanks a lot,” Sheridan pouted. “I’m glad you have such faith in me.” They reached the stable, and Sheridan pulled the door open. She shot Marcy a warning glance. “Behave,” she told her.
“Yes, mother,” Marcy huffed, rolling her eyes.
Sheridan entered the stable. At first, she didn’t think Justin was there…but then she saw a mound of hay fly out of one of the stalls. She chuckled softly. Right. It was Sunday. Stable cleaning day. Justin hated stable cleaning day. She couldn’t blame him. By the time he was finished, he smelled so bad that it made it difficult for anybody to give him his bath. Last week she had given him the bath, and the stench coming off of him had been so unbearable that was forced to wear a mask. “Justin,” she called out. After a moment, Justin rolled out of the stall. He was covered in hay, and his shirt was full of dirt and grime. He was a fright to look at. She looked at Marcy. The amazed look on her face was telling her that none of that mattered to her. He was Justin Timberlake. That was all that mattered to Marcy.
“Hey,” he gasped out. He propped the pitchfork up against the wall. “Your mom send you?” He rubbed his arm across his sweaty forehead. “Tell her I’m gonna be a little longer.”
“No, she didn’t send us,” Sheridan informed him. “We just thought we would come see how you were.” She took the bottle of water she had packed for him out of her bag. “Here.”
“Oh man,” he smiled, eagerly accepting the bottle from her. “How’d you know I needed this?” He unscrewed the cap and drank the entire bottle in a few gulps. “Thanks Sher,” he handed the bottle back to her, and focused his attention on Marcy. “Mornin’ Marcy.” He smiled and picked the pitchfork up again. “You let Sheridan get you up at this hour?”
“Yeah,” she squeaked. “I wanted to get up.”
“Damn. If it were me,” he said, pointing to his chest. “I would have told her she was on her own.”
“Not everybody enjoys sleeping as much as you do,” Sheridan cut in. “Some of us find it enjoyable to be up with the sun.”
“Psssh,” he rolled his eyes. “What planet are you from?” He winked at her, and wheeled himself back into the stall.
Sheridan smiled. He was in a good mood. Last night had been good for them. It had set them back in time a bit. Now they were friends. Friends that had kissed, but didn’t anymore. And it was okay. She looked at Marcy again. She looked like she was floating on air. “Hey,” she said, nudging her in the ribs. “Earth to Marcy.”
“Pinch me,” she said after a moment.
Sheridan laughed.
“Sher!” she hissed.
“I’m not pinching you,” Sheridan said. “This is real.”
“So y’all go to school together?” Justin called from the stall, after another bushel of hay had been tossed out.
Marcy was silent. That stunned look had taken over her again. Sheridan began to think that Marcy was going to lose it and start flipping out like some fifteen year old. “Say something,” she whispered.
“Uh…yes,” Marcy got out. “I’m her roommate.”
“So I’ve heard,” Justin said. “It’s cool ya know…that y’all are close.” More hay flew out, and Justin rolled out of the stall again. “Damn…that horse smells so bad.”
“I’veseenyouthirtytimes.” Marcy blurted out. “And omigod it was amazing every time.”
Sheridan held her breath. She hadn’t been expecting her to do that. But she had. She looked at Justin. He didn’t seem mad. No, he looked…almost…amused.
“Thirty?” he said.
Marcy nodded her head vigorously.
Justin stroked his chin in thought for a moment. “Not bad, not bad,” he smiled. “You get into meet and greet?”
“Yeah,” Marcy smiled. She unzipped the small knapsack she had brought with her, and whipped out a tattered looking photo album.
He smiled and held out his hand. “Can I see?”
“Y-yes.” Marcy handed the album to him.
Sheridan recognized the thing. Marcy brought it with her everywhere she went. School…work…it didn’t matter. She drove people nuts with the thing, instructing them to be careful when they turned the pages or telling them not to take the pictures out of the plastic cover. Sheridan used to think she was a little pathetic for it…but now that she was here, watching Marcy in her moment of glory…she sort of understood. This was her passion. And she felt badly for degrading her about it in the past. “She treasures that thing, Justin. Make sure you don’t get any fingerprints on the pictures,” she giggled.
Marcy glared at her. “Shh,” she hissed.
“Whoa…this is from forever ago,” Justin said after a moment. “Look at my fro!” he smiled. “Oh wow…look at these!” he exclaimed, as he turned the page. “No Strings Tour!” He looked up at her. “You had good seats huh?”
“Yeah. Well the thing about it was, we had crappy seats at first,” she said, seeming to know exactly what pictures he was looking at. “But then we got upgraded to meet and greet, and your friend Trace…he put us up in front row….oh.” Marcy’s eyes became wide, as if she had just realized what she had done. “I-I mean…” she stuttered. She slapped her forehead with her hand. “Geez…”
The album fell out of Justin’s hands. He stared at her with wide, intense eyes. “Trace,” he whispered.
Sheridan was slightly confused. How did Marcy know anything about Trace? Then she remembered that Marcy was such a big fan, that she had probably known who Trace was for awhile. After all, Justin had told her that they were always together. Why wouldn’t a die hard fan know who he was?
“I don’t know where my head is,” Marcy whispered. “I’m just gonna go.” She bent down to retrieve her album, and then turned to leave.
“No,” Justin called after her. “Just wait a minute.”
Marcy took a step forward, but then looked back over her shoulder. Her eyes were filled with tears.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Justin told her.
Sheridan was surprised. For somebody that was so torn, both physically and mentally, he was handling this situation very well. She smiled. She was proud of him.
“No?” Marcy asked.
He glanced at Sheridan quickly, and shot her a small smile. “No. I‘m actually kinda glad that you got to meet him, ya know? He was always real supportive of the fans…as long as they were respectful of my privacy. You guys must have made a good impression,” he nodded.
“I cried when I met you,” Marcy whispered. “And then afterwards…after the meet and greet was over, my friend and I were still hanging around by the backstage entrance. So then he came up to us, and told us to come with him. Then before we knew it…we were up in front row. I’ll never forget that,” she smiled. “That was the best night of my life.”
Justin was silent. He looked down at his lap, and after several moments, made eye contact with her again. “Really?”
Marcy’s expression brightened. “Definitely.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Marcy,” he smiled.
Sheridan watched her friends smile grow wider. She felt all chocked up inside. She was so happy for him. Happy that he was comfortable talking to a fan about Trace…about his past. Granted, it was Marcy…and Justin trusted her because she was her friend. But Sheridan knew that a few weeks ago, he probably would have muttered a hello to her and hid in the stable until she left, and he wouldn’t have taken the fact that she brought up Trace well either. “Well, we’re going riding,” she said, putting her arm around Marcy’s shoulders. “Maybe you could come watch when you’re done.”
Justin sighed loudly. “No can do. I told your mother that I would help her weed the garden. Now normally, I wouldn’t be so generous; but she told me she would give me the rest of the day off if I helped out. Can’t pass up another free night, ya know.”
“Oooo bonus!” Sheridan giggled.
He chuckled, “Go on. I’ll meet up with you later.”
The horse inhabiting the stall Justin had been cleaning out, neighed loudly. “Yeah, yeah Marco. I’m coming,” he grumbled. With a quick wave, he rolled back into the stall, and commenced with his work.
“Did that really happen?” Marcy whispered.
“Yeah it did,” Sheridan said. “And you know…you’re the first person he’s touched base with since he’s gotten here. Well, besides Mom and I. That really says something Marcy…and I really want to thank you. That was a big step for him to take with a complete stranger.” She walked into the stall adjacent from her. Benny whinnied softly, and rubbed his nose against her arm. “Hey boy.” She pecked him on the nose.
“This is like some kind of weird dream,” Marcy said.
“Jesus! Don’t lick me!”
Sheridan laughed. “Believe me, it’s definitely not.”
“Was that Justin?”
“Yes,“ Sheridan sighed. “Are you okay?” She called out to him.
“Freakin horse! These used to be good jeans! Don‘t you know Versace? Huh? Stupid horse!”
They both looked at each other.
“Versace?“ Marcy whispered. “He’s cleaning stables in Versace jeans?“
Sheridan couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing. It was amazing to her that Justin could be so torn about himself at times, yet he still felt it was important to dress to impress, no matter what the situation. “That horse likes Versace. He told me the other day!” Sheridan giggled.
Marcy laughed out loud.
A moment later, Justin’s head popped out of the stall. “Don’t laugh. You wish you had my class.”
“Your class!” Sheridan howled.
“Justin,” Marcy said, in between fits of laughter. “Versace jeans and horses don’t mix well.”
“These are hot,” he told her, his head held high. “They made ‘em for me.” Without another word, he rolled back into the stall.
Sheridan began to do up Benny’s harness. “Whatever makes him happy.”
They both laughed.
************
“Haven’t you ever worked in a garden before?”
“No. Well...I used to hold the basket for my granny when I was little, but that's about it.”
Karen put her hands on her hips. “You trim the bushes this way.” She took the clippers out of his hand, and demonstrated. “If you do it the other way, the sides will look uneven.”
He laughed, and took the clippers from her again. “Okay, Martha.”
Karen squatted down, and began to clip the rose bush in front of her. “So you’re a funny man too huh?”
He blushed a little. “Maybe.”
“You’ve come a long way Justin since that first week you were here, Justin. You’re a lot more open now. I’m proud of you.”
She was proud of him. It felt good to hear her say that, yet he didn’t know why. He hadn’t cared what she thought before. Before all he had wanted was to go home…but Sheridan had changed that. She showed him the good in this place. And now…he was actually starting to like it here. “You are?”
She looked up, and smiled at him. “Yes.”
“So…does that mean that I’m relieved of horse duty for the next week?”
“Whoa,” she laughed. “Let’s not let our imaginations get the best of us here.”
“I hate doin’ that shit,” he muttered, continuing to clip the bush.
“It’s hard work, I’ll admit that,” Karen nodded. “But…I think it’s been a really positive thing for you Justin. I’m sure before everything happened, you hadn’t done work like this before. I think that it’s changed your character a bit…am I right?”
He shrugged. “I guess. I definitely didn’t do anything like this before I came here,” he said. “But I did work hard…contrary to what most people think. I mean, people look at me and think ‘Hey, he’s rich…he shouldn’t ever complain about anything’, but they don’t know. I mean…they don’t know how many days I went through without more than three hours of sleep. Back in the beginning, with the guys…we were working non-stop. And it’s the same thing now. A solo act takes more work than a group act…just because you’re by yourself…you have to watch your own back…you have to make your own decisions.”
“I see,” she nodded. “Well…do you regret separating yourself from your group?”
“Nah,” Justin said. “At first, it was hard, because I didn’t know how the guys would take it. But once we all sat down and talked things through…they were cool with it. They wanted me to do what my heart was telling me to do,” he paused for a moment. “Only…none of us thought the album would go as far as it did.”
“Did they resent you for that…when the album took off?”
Justin chuckled a little. “You could host 20/20. And no…I don’t think they resented me for that. Our friendship is too strong for that kind of crap. They were happy for me…they supported me, and for a long time it was as if we were still together, but doing different things. I think it went to my head though,“ he said, looking away from her.
“Why do you say that?“
He sucked in a breath. “Before…the accident happened, I had been considering not making another album with them. I told Josh about it…”
“Josh?” Karen interrupted.
“He’s part of the group,” Justin informed her. He had forgotten that Karen wasn’t one of those people who immersed herself in pop culture. It was actually sort of humbling to him. It was nice to talk to people, like Karen…and Sheridan…that didn’t really focus their lives around his.
“Okay,” she nodded.
“Anyway, I told Josh about it because…I thought he would be the most understanding about it. I mean, he cut an album of his own. But when I told him…he didn’t take it well at all. I guess the word got around because before I knew it…they all made me sit down with them to have a long conversation about commitment, and why the group was more important than me and my ‘stupid solo career.’ It hurt me, you know? I mean, after everything we had done together…I thought they would have understood why I was considering leaving NSYNC.”
“Yes, but don’t you think you would have felt the way they did if the situation had been reversed?” Karen asked him. “And maybe it’s not my place to say this but…don’t you think they were concerned about the future of their own careers?”
Justin chewed his bottom lip. He had never thought about that. At the time, he hadn’t been thinking about anything else but himself…and of course, Trace had been right there beside him, defending and backing up everything he said. Looking back on it now, he realized that he was wrong for trying to break away from the four men who had supported him when he was just another boy band member. He shouldn’t have sprung the idea on them like he had. He should have been the one to sit down with them. He knew it now.
But he couldn’t change anything now.
“I would have,” he managed. “But…I guess I was too pigheaded to look at things from their perspective.”
“And now?” Karen asked.
“Now, I would take it all back if I knew there was a point in taking it back.”
“Who says you can’t?” Karen questioned. “Nothing is stopping you.”
“Right,” he scoffed. “I’m going to go make another NSYNC record, in a wheelchair. Maybe the choreographer can teach me some fly wheelchair routines for our tour too.”
“Who says you’re going to be like this forever?” Karen said.
He laughed and shook his head. “Who says I’m not, Karen?” He clipped the bush again. He did it with too much force though, and left a gaping hole in the center of it. “Shit.”
“Take this bush,” Karen said, pointing to the newly formed hole in it. “It’s changed now right?”
“Because of me,” Justin pouted.
“Correct. It’s changed, because of an unfortunate occurrence. Now…it can stay that way, or it can get better with the proper care. You had a car accident…it left you like this,” she explained. “But with the proper care, and the belief that you can do it…there is no reason why you won’t be back on your feet sometime in the future. If you sit here, and pout, and say you can’t do it well, then you’ll remain the same way you are now. It’s really all up to you Justin. But I think you can do it…and I believe that you want to do it more than anything in the world.”
He looked up at the sky. There were those birds again…soaring high above him. He wanted to believe Karen. He wanted to believe that he would one day be able to get back to his old life. He wanted to so badly. But he was scared. He was scared of being let down. He was scared to hear Karen tell him that there was nothing more she could do for him. It was easier for him to believe that this was how he was going to remain for the rest of his days. There was closure in it for him. He could get used to living this way. “Karen,” he whispered.
“Yes?”
“I’m scared, you know?”
She smiled a little. “I know.”
“I don’t want to be this way forever,” he managed. “But…”
“It’s easier to get used to this, than trying to regain what you had before,” she interrupted.
He laughed. “You’re so good at this stuff.”
She patted his leg. “Listen to me. I’m sure Sheridan told you about Ethan, my husband…am I correct?”
“Yes.”
“Well…when he died, it tore me apart. I didn’t know who to be angry at. Him for dying…or Sheridan for being careless…or God for letting something like this happen. I shut down my entire practice, and for a long time, I was just like you. I was bitter, Justin, and I’m sorry to say , that I didn’t make things very easy for Sheridan for a while. There was a time, that she hated me.”
“Karen,” he shook his head. “I’m sure she didn’t hate you.”
“I hate to admit it,” she sighed. “But she did. We would have horrendous screaming matches. She would leave a lot…she even stayed with a friend for a little while. That was the low point for me. Ethan was my world, and I just couldn’t let what happened go,” she looked away from him for a moment, seemingly to gain control of herself. “Eventually, I got through it. I began to open up to Sheridan more, and that really helped me.“ She laughed a little. “She’s a lot like her father. After that…after we got past our differences, that’s when things started to come together. We were a team…and we got past Ethan together. Now our lives are basically back to the way they were when Ethan was alive. I’m thankful for that,” she said. She stared into his eyes. “It’s hard to overcome something like that by yourself.”
Justin was surprised. He hadn’t thought that Karen was willing to share these kind of emotions with him. But, he did know his mother had told her about Trace. Karen’s situation was similar. Then it hit him. She was trying to get him to talk about it…about Trace. He became uneasy. This wasn’t how he wanted the conversation to go. He had barely started talking to Sheridan about Trace. He knew there was no way he could bring himself to talk about him with Karen. “Uh…yeah,” he said quickly. “I…I met Marcy this morning.”
Karen continued to stare at him, as if she knew he had realized what she was up to. She pressed her lips together, seemingly debating something in her mind. Then she rose from the ground, and smiled at him. “She’s a character isn’t she?”
Justin was glad she decided to leave well enough alone. He didn’t want to get angry at her, but he knew that probably would have been the case if she had pressed him about the subject of Trace any further. “Yeah…but she’s cool. I’m actually kinda glad she came…I hadn’t thought anybody could still be so infatuated with me now that…well…that I’m like this.”
“I was a bit nervous about her coming here, to be honest,” Karen told him. “I didn’t know how you would react. You seemed a bit down yesterday, after Sheridan left for the airport.”
“Oh,” he said. He knew he had been grumpy, but it was only because he and Sheridan had been fighting. Was he about to tell Karen that? Of course not. She had no idea what was going on…or what had been going on between them. He wanted to keep it that way. “It was just one of those days. You know.”
“You’re sure?”
He nodded.
“You and Sheridan have really hit it off,” she pointed out. “I’ve never seen her bond with any of my patients like this.”
“She’s a great girl,” he said, a little too enthusiastically. His eyes widened, and he glanced at Karen quickly, searching for any sign of suspicion in her eyes. There wasn’t…but she did have an amused smile on her face that was telling him that she wasn’t as naïve as he hoped she was.
“Would you be interested in working with her more?”
He was slightly confused. “More?”
“Well, you have aqua therapy coming up…and Sheridan has been studying a lot about it back in New York. I thought it would be good for her to have a lot of hands on experience with it, before she goes back to school. Nothing is written in stone of course. I just thought it might work out, since you two have bonded so well.”
Justin had no idea what aqua therapy was. The only thing he did know, was that it probably involved Sheridan in a bathing suit…one of those bikini numbers. He smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “I think it would be cool.”
“You’re comfortable with her?”
I kissed her, didn’t I? He wanted to say. But instead he simply nodded, knowing that he couldn’t get into any details. “Completely.”
“I’ll speak with your mother,” Karen decided. “Then I’ll make my decision.”
He hesitated a moment. “Oh, okay.“
His mother. The very idea of her finding out about Sheridan was making him uneasy. He knew what she would say, Justin has spent enough of his life worrying about women…it’s time he worries about himself. Of course, Karen would say that the relationship was strictly professional. But Justin knew his mother knew him better than that. She knew how fast he could fall for a girl…and she knew how fast he could get hurt by one as well.
When his relationship with Britney came crashing to the ground, she had been bitter for awhile. She had embraced Britney like she was her own, all those years he knew her…all those years they were together. So, when Britney had done that…slept with some random guy on a whim, it hurt his mother almost as badly as it had hurt him. She was afraid for him. She never wanted to see him heartbroken like that again. It had come to the point now, where he was afraid to tell her about the girls he had been seeing. There had been so many…most of which were only one night stands. He knew his mother wouldn’t have approved.
But Sheridan was different. This whole situation was different. And that was why he knew his mother would be even more closed to the idea. There is no room in your life for a girl right now, she would say. He wouldn’t be able to defend himself, because he knew that she would be right. There wasn’t any room. That was why he and Sheridan slowed things down. But his mother didn’t know that. Karen didn’t even know that.
And they couldn’t know.
***********
“Shhh”
“I’m being shhh”
“We’re gonna get in trouble, Trace.”
“No we’re not you big baby. Just be quiet and follow my lead.”
SQUEEK!
“Damn, dog toy.”
The lights snapped on. Both boys froze.
“Are you boys after that ice cream again!”
“Abort mission…the Black Widow has spun her web!”
Justin quietly opened the freezer, smiling at the memory. There it was. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. But it wasn’t just any mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was Haagen-Dazs, mint chocolate chip ice cream. He couldn’t remember the last time he had any. Karen didn’t allow him ice cream…or any sort of junk food for that matter. But, he was tired of eating her wholesome foods…and granola crap. He needed to pig out every now and then. And right now, he wanted ice cream. He needed it. He reached up, and grabbed it from its place in the freezer. “Mission accomplished, Red Rover,” he whispered, pulling his hood up over his head. “We have the Golden Eagle.” He opened the drawer and pulled out the biggest spoon he could find. Then like a savage, he ripped the top off of the tub and dug in. He shoved a spoonful into his mouth, and groaned with pleasure. “Shit,” he said, in-between mouthfuls. “Where have you been all my life?”
“I can’t believe you made me rent this stupid movie.”
He paused for a moment. It was Sheridan. “Danger, agent Timberlake,” he whispered, continuing to shove the ice cream into his mouth. “The enemy is close.”
“It’s a good movie!” He heard Marcy reply.
“Ugh, God. I guess I’ll just go put the popcorn in,” Sheridan said.
“Abort mission,” he said, trying to roll forward. The chair wouldn’t move though. He looked down, and realized that one of the wheels was caught on one of the cabinet corners. “Damn.”
Then the lights came on. Sheridan was standing there, with a look of both shock and amusement on her face. “Justin?”
He quickly put the top back on the tub. “It’s not what you think,” he said.
She sighed. “Justin,” she said, walking over to him and taking the ice cream from him. “You know you’re not supposed to.”
“Oh come on!” he whined, reaching out to grab it back from her.
“Justin, no!“ She lifted it up above her head.
On instinct he began to rise up out of his wheelchair to get the ice cream back, but then he stopped himself, realizing that the idea was impossible. “Damn,” he muttered.
“Not supposed to what?” Marcy was standing in the doorway now.
Sheridan looked back at her. “He’s not supposed to pig out.”
“Come on Sher,” he persisted. “It’s just this once. I’m dying here.”
Sheridan shook her head. “You can have some popcorn.”
“I don’t want any stupid popcorn,” he pouted. “I want ice cream.”
“Aww Sheridan!” Marcy spoke up. “How can you resist that face?” She swaggered over to them, and took the ice cream out of Sheridan’s hands. “Just look at him.” She jutted out her bottom lip.
Justin stared Sheridan in the eyes, trying to win her over with his most pathetic of looks. He didn’t know how well it would work on her. All he knew was that it had worked with every woman he had come across in his life time…his mother…his grandmother…his step mother…girlfriends…friends…fans. He smiled. Her stern, unrelenting expression had faded a bit. Now she felt sorry for him. Now he would get his way.
Apparently, the old Timberlake charm was still going strong.
“Oh geez,” Sheridan muttered. She looked at Marcy for a moment, and then back to him. “One bowl Justin, that’s it. And I mean it.”
“Yay!” Marcy squealed. “I’ll join you, Justin. Do you have any fudge Sher?”
“Just ice cream,” she said, pointing a finger at Marcy. “No toppings.”
“But Sheridan!” Marcy complained. “What’s the fun in that?”
Sheridan placed her hands on her hips. “Marcy I--”
“It’s fine,” Justin interrupted. He winked at Sheridan, and he was sure he could see her face turn a light shade of pink as he did so. “Just ice cream is good enough for me.”
“I guess I’ll have some too,” Sheridan smirked. “No sense watching you two have all the fun.”
“What the--,” Marcy said, as she opened the cabinet. “There’s only…fat free fudge?,” she looked back at them. “Are you kidding me?”
Sheridan laughed. “Fat free isn’t in Marcy’s vocabulary.”
“While you’re stayin’ in this house, it has to be,” Justin laughed. He liked Marcy. She was different from most of the people he had come across in his lifetime. Although he knew, if things were different he wouldn’t have given her a second look. No, because he only befriended girls that were slim…and flawless. Girls that lived the same kind of lifestyle that he did. Marcy wasn’t like them at all. He knew that if things were different, and he had simply met her at one of his shows…he probably would have taken a picture with her, and made fun of her as she walked away.
Wait…he had met her at one of his shows. He desperately tried to remember that night…that show. It wasn’t logical. There had been so many shows…so many faces. Unless he actually spent time with a person for more than twenty minutes, he never remembered a face. He wondered how he had treated her. He wondered what kind of vulgar thoughts popped into his mind upon seeing her. He knew. It was probably something like heifer…or, nasty bitch. He wondered if he had mentioned her to Trace at all. Maybe he had. Maybe that was why Trace had put her in the front row…to spite him. It was a good possibility. He wouldn’t have known the difference anyway.
“Here you go,” Marcy smiled, handing him his bowl.
“Thanks.” He didn’t smile. She was so damn nice. Why? Why was she so nice to him? What had he ever done for her besides take her money? Nothing. He would never understand what made him so special in peoples eyes. He was just a person…just a guy who had been fortunate enough to become successful at his dream.
But now he was just a guy…a crippled one at that.
“Wanna watch the movie with us?”
He snapped out of his daze. Sheridan was staring at him, waiting for him to respond. “What movie?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “A Walk To Remember,” she muttered. “Marcy’s choice.”
Justin stroked his chin in thought, then smiled at the two girls. “Man, I love that movie.”
“See!” Marcy squealed. “I told you it was a good choice!”
“You like A Walk To Remember?” Sheridan scoffed. “You, mister tough guy himself?”
“Hey,” he chuckled, beginning to consume his ice cream. “I have a sensitive side too.”
Sheridan shrugged. “Well fine then.” She pushed away from the counter, and picked up her bowl of ice cream. “Let’s go indulge ourselves in this mindless crap you two call a movie.” She retreated out of the kitchen.
Justin looked at Marcy. She seemed nervous, now that they were alone. “You wanna push me?” he smiled.
She bit her bottom lip. “I…um…you want me to?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Because right now, I’m too damn lazy to do it myself,” he laughed. “I know this is really awkward for you…hell, its awkward for me too. But since we’re sort of friends now, I guess we can get past all this and just have fun…right Marce?”
She was silent for a moment. Justin was afraid that she wasn’t at the same level of comfort that he was right now. He was afraid that she was going to turn and run away from him at any moment; the realization of how much of a freak he was being too much for her to handle.
He grimaced. He held his breath. But she didn’t move from her position.
“Okay, Justin,” she whispered, putting her now empty bowl in the sink. She disappeared from his view, and a moment later he felt her behind him. “Just push?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he laughed. “Just push.” After a moment, he was rolling forward. “See, it’s easy right?”
“Easy enough,” she said, with a nervous laugh. “I’m…surprised you wanted me to do this, Justin.”
So was he. Justin knew this was a big step for him. By letting her push him, he had let her in…opened up to her. She was a fan. Was he crazy? How did he know she wouldn’t go back home and blab to all of her friends about this? How did he know she wouldn’t go on the computer and tell all of his other fans what she had done? How did he know she wouldn’t tell them all where he was staying?
“It…really means a lot to me,” she said softly.
His eyes widened a bit. He looked up at her. She was smiling at him. She looked like she would cry at any moment. “Thanks,” he managed.
He smiled.
Because she was Sheridan’s best friend. That’s how he knew.
**************
“Mandy Moore is hot.”
Sheridan giggled, and took the tape out of the VCR. “You know her?”
“No,” Justin sighed. “But I met her once. Sweet girl…but she wasn’t interested in me.”
Sheridan raised her eyebrows, and let out a little gasp. “My lord, the girl must have truly been insane.”
He tossed the pillow he was hugging against his chest at her. “Shut up,” he laughed.
Sheridan tossed the pillow back at him. It missed though, and bounced off of a sleeping Marcy instead. “Oh…” she said, covering her mouth. “Oops.”
“See what you did,” Justin whispered, looking over at Marcy. “Poor girl.”
Marcy didn’t flutter an eyelid. She only let out a long sigh, and shifted a little in the chair she was curled up in.
“Poor girl nothing,” Sheridan scoffed. “She was so busy obsessing about you, she didn’t sleep last night. It’s her own fault.” She shuffled over to the couch, and moved Justin’s legs a little so she could sit down. “God, I love the girl…but whenever it comes down to you and those other guys, she just goes nuts. It worried me before,” she said. “But now…I can sort of understand I guess.,” she fixed her gaze on Marcy again. “I mean, she looks up to you…or something. Like earlier, when you let her push you in here...Jesus Justin, you should have seen the smile on her face.”
“Fans are weird,” Justin told her. “I never really understood why they were always trying to get close to me. I’m not sayin I don’t know what it’s like to be a fan. I do. I mean, I love Michael Jackson and Brian McKnight…but those guys are legends…icons. Me, I’m just starting out,” he paused for a moment. “Well…I guess I’m cute. Yeah…I guess that’s what drives em all so crazy.”
“Oh,” Sheridan smirked. “So now the ego is rearing its ugly head.”
“What ego?” he said. “I’m just stating the truth. Come on Sher admit it, you know I’m cute.”
“Oh please,” she rolled her eyes. “You sound like every guy I’ve ever known.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said quietly.
She met his gaze. In his mind, if he sounded like every other guy she knew,…that meant that he was normal. It meant he wasn’t some cripple in a wheelchair, like he thought he was. But in reality, Sheridan knew that it didn’t make him that normal. Justin was more than just some guy that went to NYU. He was special. He had a fantastic life waiting for him at home…he didn’t’ have to worry about term papers or quizzes or exams. All he had to do was sit down at a piano, write a few songs, and sell them to people like Marcy who day dreamed about him constantly. “But you don’t want to sound like that, Justin,” she said to him finally. “You’re better than them.”
He chuckled. “Am I Sheridan? Look at me…”
“That doesn’t change the person you are inside,” she interrupted, giving his hand a squeeze. “You need to stop thinking that way Justin. It‘s just a thing…everybody has their things. Some are just more obvious than others”
“This is a pretty big thing, Sher.”
“I’m not doing this with you,” she told him sternly. “You know you’re going to get past this. I don’t care what you say. Inside…in your heart…you know you can do it.”
He was silent for a moment. “What’s your thing?”
She was confused. “Huh?”
“Well,” he began. “You said everybody has their things. What’s your thing?”
“Oh…I guess…my father.”
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “There’s more.”
“What?” Now she was a little nervous. How did he know? How could he see through her like this? Nobody could ever just figure her out…not even her own mother. The only person that had ever truly understood her was her father, and he had been killed before she had hit her teenage prime. Often, she thought about what it would have been like if he had lived. What kinds of insecurities would he have been able to put to rest for her? Would she be a different person?
She would never know.
“Like…I know that you keep stuff hidden away inside you, as much as you try to lie and pretend that nothing ever bothers you,” he nodded. “I think…you should talk about it,” he decided. “Hell, you made me talk about it. I think it’s pay back time.”
How could she tell him he was wrong? He wasn’t. Justin had a good point. Besides the details of his accident, Justin had pretty much bared his heart and soul to her. But the pressures she felt inside of her were so much different than his. Yes, the death of her father still pained her to this day…but there was more, much more than he knew about her. “My problems aren’t as serious as your problems,” she said. “They’re just stupid.”
“Nothin’s stupid Sher,” he said.
She gazed at Marcy for a few moments, before speaking again. “I’m not like her,” she stated.
Justin glanced at Marcy and back again. “What?”
“I’m not…like her,” she got out. “I’m just, plain Sheridan you know? And she’s like…crazy Marcy who’ll try anything once.”
“But that’s what makes you who you are,” Justin smiled. “If everybody was like crazy Marcy…then…what the hell would be the point in living?”
“But she has se--,” she began, but stopped herself. What are you thinking about? You can’t tell him about that…that you’re a fucking twenty one year old virgin. A guy like him…he’d laugh right in your face.
“Sheridan.”
She looked at him. “Hmm.”
“You were about to say?” he said.
“Seven boyfriends,” she managed, trying her best to sound believable.
Justin laughed out loud. “And you feel insecure because you don’t?”
Sheridan laughed a little. She knew she would have laughed more, if it were the truth. “I dunno…I guess. Maybe it’s just because I’ve never really had a boyfriend.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Get serious. I ain’t believing that.”
She smiled. “It’s true.”
Justin’s eyes widened. “What? Are all the guys back in New York smoking some bad shit?”
“No,” she giggled. “They just don’t go for girls like me.”
“Girls like you? Oh gimme a break.“ Justin frowned, and seemed to be deep in thought for a moment. “You mean to tell me…that out of the millions of guys in New York City, not one of them ever tried to get with you?”
“Well, I’ve been on dates. But the guys I went out with were just so…intellectual. They thought they knew everything about everything, and I could barely get a word in. That’s not the kind of guy I wanted to spend my time with. Last year, I don’t think I went on a date at all. I was so busy studying though, that I didn’t really have much time to.”
“But Marcy had time to,” Justin pointed out.
Sheridan scoffed. “Yeah, of course she did. Because she never went to half her classes, so she never knew what she had to study for.”
“Oh,” he laughed. “So how’d she pass?”
“She just...can,” Sheridan sighed. “She’s one of those once in a lifetime kind of people that can skip class for a month…go take the tests, and manage a B minus or better. Oh, if only I could be so lucky.”
“Wow,” Justin’s raised and lowered his eyebrows. “That’s…pretty damn amazing Sher.”
“Tell me about it,” she muttered. “All of our friends, myself included, rag on her about it. My friend Rob…he even tells her that he’s going to tell the Dean to kick her out of NYU because she has an unfair advantage over the rest of us.”
“Who’s Rob?” he smiled.
“He’s gay,” she laughed. “Or we’d probably be married already.”
“Sounds to me like you just haven’t met the right guy,” Justin reasoned. “But I know you will Sheridan, you’re a great girl…and whoever gets you is gonna be one lucky guy.” He looked down at his lap, and began to toy with the blanket that was draped over his legs. “And I mean that.”
She felt her heart sink. He really did care about her. And she knew it was probably taking all of his strength to not proclaim his undying love for her right there. It wasn’t the time. They both knew that. A relationship between them right now, simply wouldn’t work. There was too much going on…and there was too much at stake. She met his gaze again, and smiled. “I know you do.”
Marcy let out a loud snore just then, breaking their peaceful moment.
They both cracked up.
“I think it’s time for bed,” Justin said after regaining control of himself.
Sheridan sucked in a breath, and stared back at him for a moment. She was a little shocked. She had never been able to talk to anybody about her feelings before. In New York, she spent most of her time listening to everybody else complain about their problems, and giving them advice. She did talk to her mother sometimes…but even then, it was only about her father and how she felt about it. Never did she go into anything like this…about her personal outlook on herself. Justin was the first person…the only person that she had opened up to like this, since her father had died. “Good idea.” She pulled the wheelchair closer to the couch. “You want me to help you?”
“Nah,” Justin huffed. “I’ll do it.” He uncovered himself, and began his routine. It was something he had been doing a lot of lately. He would get out of bed by himself in the morning… he would get on and off the couch when they watched movies together. It was a good step for him…a positive one. But Sheridan couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. She still had that feeling inside her. That little voice that told her that he was going to get better and leave…and forget all about her.
Suddenly, she was curious. Was she holding their relationship back because she was afraid it would interfere with Justin’s therapy? Or was she simply doing it because she was scared of being left behind and forgotten? She didn’t have an answer.
She didn’t think she ever would.
Story Tags: justinandtrace
