“So…”

Justin finally forced himself to meet her sad expression. “So,” he managed to say, slightly above a whisper.

Elisha spread out her left hand, and eyed the sparkling ring on her finger.

Justin noticed the ring was sparkling a little brighter today for some reason…more so than he’d ever noticed before. He knew it was a two carat diamond of course…and told himself that maybe he’d never taken the time to notice it’s true beauty before.

“He’ll pull through,” Elisha nodded, not taking her gaze from the ring on her finger. “He has to.”

Justin nodded, wanting to believe her. He thought if he simply went along with what Elisha said, everything would turn out for the best. That Trace wouldn’t die…and nothing would be his fault anymore. But deep inside of him…in the part of him that knew better…he knew Trace wasn’t going to make it. He just knew.

“I want you to know that this isn’t your fault, Justin.” She grasped his hand and looked into his eyes. “It’s nobodies fault.”

She sounded like every member of his friends and family he’d talked to in the last three days. It was all the same lines…‘It’s nobodies fault’…‘Don’t blame yourself’…‘Accidents happen’. He was tired of hearing about it. He knew it was his fault…nobody could tell him otherwise…not even her. He sighed. “You know it was my fault.”

She shook her head. “Don’t say that. It--it was an accident.”

“Getting drunk,” he sneered in a low whisper. “And letting myself drive that car wasn’t an accident. I knew what I was doing, and I didn‘t give a shit.”

“Justin--”

“Just shut up Elisha!” he cried. “You weren’t fucking in the car! You don’t know what was going on! This is about me and him! It‘s always been about me and him…you‘ve just been a fucking accessory.”

Elisha swallowed hard, and looked away from him. “I tried to get you to stop--”

“Well you fucked that up didn’t you?”

“So what time do you think I should come back?”

Justin slowly looked over at her, partially still entranced in the memory. “Huh?”

Karen laughed a little. “What time should I come get you?”

“Oh…” he trailed off, not being able to fight off the memory in time to answer her completely.

“Justin?”

He shook his head a little, and sucked in a breath. He felt sick to his stomach, and was immediately brought back to the previous evening when he‘d vomited due to the intense pressure of seeing Elisha again. Luckily, the mishap occurred as Sheridan was getting him into bed so she was able to help him. Not that it made him feel any better about the situation. He felt like a baby…having to be supported so he wouldn‘t make a mess all over himself. “I dunno,” he said to her. “I’ll call you.” He opened his window and stuck his head out of it, hoping the fresh air would be enough to rid him of his nausea.

He wished Sheridan were the one driving him into Los Angeles today, but Karen hadn’t wanted her to. She said there were too many temptations, and Justin knew she was right…only because they’d snuck out to LA once before. But he knew if Sheridan were here with him, he probably would have felt a little less nervous about going to see Elisha today. She seemed to always know the right thing to say to make all of his fears go away. Of course, he would talk to her later about everything that happened…but it still wasn’t the same.

“Are you okay?” he heard Karen say.

He pulled his head back into the car. “If I tell you yes will you believe me?”

She shot him a skeptical look. “No.”

He smiled a little. “Well then I feel fine.”

“Everybody has to face their trauma at some point after their accident. For most of my patients it’s been getting back on a horse. You on the other had are a little different. I want you to look at this as another step in your rehabilitation Justin. Facing your friend’s girlfriend is a vital step to moving past his death.”

“The last time I saw her…” he sighed. “Was the day before Trace died. I…blamed her for this.”

Karen nodded. “It’s a natural reaction to trauma.”

He shook his head. “But you don’t understand. She didn’t deserve that…she…she loved him so much, and she needed me to be there for her that day. But all I could do was think about Trace lying in that bed, knowing that it was me who caused him to get that way. Talking to her just made the pain more intense. I couldn‘t focus, and I snapped.”

“I’m sure she didn’t take what you said that day, personally,” Karen reasoned. “I’m sure she understood the intense pain you were going through at the time.”

“It doesn’t matter how much pain I was going through. She didn’t deserve to get treated that way by me,“ he paused, and then smiled. “It took me so long to get on her good side, and even then…I don’t think she completely accepted me. When I see her today, she’ll probably treat me like she did when she thought I was scum.”

“Somehow I’m finding it hard to agree with you, Justin,” she said. “I’m sure she’s probably forgotten all about what you said to her…with everything else on her mind.”

“You don’t know Elisha,” he laughed. “When she hates you…she really hates you.”

“Justin…she doesn’t hate you. In fact, she’s probably just as nervous about meeting with you as you are about meeting with her. I want you to look at this in a positive way…this is a big step for you.”

“I’ll try,” he told her. Karen couldn’t help him. It wasn’t her fault of course…she simply didn’t know the people in his life the way he did. She was right to say that this was an important step for him…it was, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to be painful at the same time. He looked out the window as Karen took the exit that led into downtown Los Angeles. A calming feeling began to take over him, as it had the day Sheridan took him here. He felt safer knowing exactly where he was…how far away he was from his house…his dance studio. He almost smiled, until Karen pulled him back into the reality of the situation.

“Okay navigator. Where am I going here?”

“She wants to meet me at this restaurant called Santo’s,” he nodded. “It’s about ten minutes away.”

“Restaurant?” Karen questioned. “You never said anything about going to a restaurant. Justin…don’t you know how--”

“It was their place,” Justin interrupted. “How could I tell her no, Karen?”

Karen didn’t say anything after that, and Justin knew she wasn’t going to protest the subject any further. Yes, he knew there could be tremendous consequences by going to a public place without any security. Yes, he knew how awful the paparazzi could be to people like him when they were dealing with an intense situation. But none of that mattered to him today.

He would do it for Trace.

***************

As soon as Karen pulled up to the restaurant, Justin knew his lunch with Elisha wasn’t going to go as smooth as he’d hoped. There were people everywhere, and he started to wonder what in the world made him think he was going to be able to get past them without being noticed in the first place. Maybe it was due to the fact that he hadn’t been out and about in all the time since Trace died…but it didn’t matter. Whatever the reason…he still felt stupid. And as more people began to file into the restaurant, for a busy lunch hour…he felt himself begin tremble.

He wasn’t ready for this.

He wanted Sheridan.

“Are you ready?”

He barely acknowledged Karen’s question, and simply nodded in response. Then he felt the nausea begin to take over him again. He closed his eyes…willing the feeling away.

“Justin…come on.”

While he‘d been reliving the moment, Karen had managed to park the car, get out, get his chair, and come around to his side already. He wasn’t surprised, because Karen was always this prompt…but he was a little worried. He was blanking out like this more and more lately…the precious memories he shared with his friend taking over him at the smallest reminder of Trace. It worried him at times, but he didn’t mention it. He figured, it happened to everybody that had to deal with a situation such as this.

Maybe…Elisha had the same problem.

Knowing there was no other way now, he took Karen’s hand and let her help him out of the car and into his wheelchair.

It started immediately.

“Carmen…isn’t that Justin Timberlake?”

He closed his eyes. He couldn’t deal with them today. He couldn’t smile, and sign autographs and take pictures and tell them how much he appreciated them. He was going to see his dead best friends fiancé…he couldn’t deal with much more.

“Oh m’god it is!”

“Hi Justin!”

“Not now girls,” he heard Karen say. “Justin is here on business.”

He opened his eyes again, and sure enough the girls hadn’t heard a word Karen said to them. Their gazes were fixed on him, and they seemed shocked. But Justin wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. Did they think he was a freak…or were they simply two shocked fans whose dream of meeting him had just come true? With all the dignity and strength he could muster, he somehow managed a smile, although he had no idea how and said. “Hello.”

“How are you,” the taller one asked, looking as if it had taken all the courage in the world to ask the question.

He swallowed. “Okay.”

She smiled. “That’s good. What made you come out here today?”

Before he could reply, Karen began to push him forward. He didn’t know why, but something inside of him was telling him not to run and hide from his fans. After all, they hadn’t gotten much of an explanation about where he’d been….not that it was their business anyway…but he still felt obligated to give them reassurance that he would be around for them in the near future.

Hell, maybe it was all that image training he’d received from Johnny. “Karen wait,” he said.

She stopped pushing him. “Justin,” she groaned. “Do you want to attract attention to yourself?”

“Just one second,” he asked, looking up at her. “Please?”

She sighed. “Hurry.”

“I’m here on business,” he said once Karen turned him around again. Then he flashed the two girls a playful smile. “What brings you here?”

The tall girl blushed. “We were going to Tower Records.” She nudged her friend. “Right Carmen?”

Carmen nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Justin…let’s go,” Karen said sternly.

“Well…that’s cool,” he said, shooting Karen a dirty look. “I never get to the store anymore.” He pulled the baseball cap off of his head. “You got a pen, Carmen?”

Carmen’s eyes lit up and she spoke for the first time. “Sure.” She quickly unzipped her purse and pulled out a black marker. “Here you go.”

Justin took the marker from her. “What’s your name?” he asked the taller girl.

She looked as if she might squeal. “Nadine.”

“Cool,” he nodded. “Now, I only have one hat girls, so you’ll have to share.”

“That’s okay,” they said in unison.

He smiled, and quickly scrawled a personalized autograph onto the brim of the hat. “Thanks,” he said, handing the hat to Nadine. “Thanks for being here.”

Nadine and Carmen stared down at their autograph, and smiled.

“Thank you so much, Justin,” Nadine said after a moment. “And don’t worry…the fans haven’t forgotten about you.”

He felt his eyes glaze over and he had to clear his throat several times to prevent himself from crying. “Okay…well…bye girls.”

“Bye.”

Karen pushed him forward immediately, mumbling something to him about ‘agenda’s’ and ‘security’. He barely heard her though. He was too busy smiling to himself…happy that his fans, at least not those two fans, didn’t see him as a freak. They still thought of him as they did before…only now they were even more supportive of him. He was so into the moment in fact, that he barely realized that they had entered the restaurant, until…

“Justin…hi.”

He looked up, and immediately Nadine and Carmen were a distant memory. “Elisha,” he managed. “Uh…hey.”

There was an awkward silence, and Justin wasn’t sure what to think. Elisha didn’t seem to be giving anything away. She was just standing there, her expression bland, unreadable. He bit his lip, praying that Karen would say something to break the tension.

“Hi Elisha…I’m Karen Williams, Justin‘s doctor.”

If she wasn’t Sheridan’s mother he would have kissed her.

Elisha finally smiled, and extended her hand out to Karen. “Hi…how are you? It‘s nice to meet you.”

They began to chatter amongst themselves, and Justin was a little glad. It gave him time to go over what he felt Elisha needed to hear. He was sorry…he shouldn’t have blamed her. He didn’t want her to feel alone…Trace would have wanted them to confide in one another…

“Well…you two seem to be fine here. Why don’t you take over Elisha, and I’ll be on my way?” Karen suggested.

Elisha shrugged. “Is that okay with you, Justin?”

He nodded. “Whatever you want.”

“Call me later.“ Karen patted him on the shoulder. It was a message. It said ‘calm down would you?’. He almost laughed, but then realized that Elisha wouldn’t get it, so he didn’t.

Justin nodded. “I will.”

“Have fun you two,” Karen said, before walking away from them.

Now it was real. Now it was only him and Elisha. He looked at her again, and the pleasant smile she’d been showing off for Karen was non existent.

“You wanna sit?” she asked, immediately looking as if she wanted to kick herself. “I mean…”

He laughed, more to lighten the mood than anything else. “It’s okay.”

She nodded. “Are…would you…do you want me to push you?”

“Calm down,” he found himself telling her. He couldn’t believe he was able to be so calm around her. Maybe it was the professional in him going back to work. He nodded, agreeing with himself…as crazy as it was. “I’m still Justin,” he said to her.

She let out a relieved laugh at his comment, and nodded. “Well…I’m still Elisha, just so you know.” She got behind him.

He looked up at her. “It’s good to see you,” he said, as she began to push him forward.

“I’m sorry I’m so nervous,” she said. “I just…I didn’t know what to expect. I was up all night…I got sick…it was horrible.”

He was relieved that she had reacted the same way he had to their pending meeting. “Can I tell you something?” he asked her.

“Of course.”

“I got sick too.”

She laughed. “We’re such losers.”

She was the same Elisha he remembered from before. Sure, she looked tired, worn…but then again so did he, and then some. Her personality hadn’t changed toward him, that was the only thing that mattered. “You know it,” he said to her.

A waiter met them halfway into the dining room, and led them into the back of the restaurant where they were seated at a table. “So,” Elisha began once they were situated. “How have you been?”

“Well, aside from this,” he pointed to his chair. “I guess I’ve been…reasonable. I mean…sometimes things get hard but…I met someone, and…she’s been there for me.”

Elisha’s eyes widened. “You met somebody?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, not really knowing what she thought about the news. “Um…Karen’s daughter Sheridan…we sorta hit it off.”

“Oh,” she nodded. “That’s really great, Justin. I’m really happy for you.”

She didn’t smile as she said the words, and Justin could tell she was either upset that he had a relationship…or whatever it was that was on her mind was swallowing her up. “Don’t tell me…” he said, forcing a smile. “You think it’s a bad idea, right?”

She looked at him with a frightened expression, as if he were about to rip her head off for not saying the right thing. “Um…well no…that’s not it at all Justin. I mean, you should be able to do what you want to do,” she paused and eyed his wheelchair. “Especially now.” She opened up her menu and began to study it.

He sucked in a breath. “How… have you been?”

She slowly looked up at him. It was then he saw it…the terrible loneliness that had most likely been plaguing her from the day that Trace died. A chill went through him, and he sunk lower into his seat.

“I’ve been bad,” she confessed. “I’m not going to sit here and lie and tell you I’ve been fine. I can’t sleep…I can’t eat…sometimes…it’s like I don’t remember he’s dead, and I call his phone. Then I hear that ‘not in service’ message, and realize that I’ve forgotten what’s happened,” she ran a hand through her hair, and sighed. “Sometimes, I wish I were dead too. Maybe then my life wouldn’t be the hell that it’s turned into.”

Something was going on with her, and it was more than just recovering from Trace’s death. Justin knew this, because it wasn’t like Elisha to talk about how miserable she was with anybody. She was a closed person…accept behind closed door with Trace of course. “There’s something you’re not telling me,” he told her. “I know you…and you never talk like this with anybody.”

She shrugged. “I’m a different person now.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re full of it.”

Her bottom lip trembled slightly, and she looked away from him…most likely to hide her tears.

“Elisha,” he said softly. “What’s the matter with you? I mean, I know what’s the matter…it’s the same thing that’s wrong with me. But I know there’s more…you called me here for a reason ‘lish.”

She looked back at him. The tears were steadily streaming down her face, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. “I…I haven’t told anybody this. But…I knew I had to tell you…and that you might listen if I did. I…this is so hard, Justin,” she sobbed, sniffling a little bit. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

He reached across the table and took her hand. “It’s about Trace.”

She nodded.

“Then you can tell me.”

She looked down at her lap and laughed sadly. “You have enough to worry about without me bringing more into it, Justin. Really, I should just pack up and move far away and start my life over again.”

“Elisha,” he said. “Please tell me what’s the matter.”

She looked into his eyes, long and hard, seemingly searching them for some sort of answer to her insecurities. “Justin,” she began. “Before…before the accident…Trace and I came to this restaurant.”

He glanced down at the table to gain control of himself before looking back at her again. He nodded. “He loved it here.”

She smiled a little, but it was gone quickly. “And--and I told him, I said ‘baby, this is going to change our lives’ but he was okay with it,” she smiled again, and looked past him. “He was happy.”

Justin didn’t have any idea what Elisha was talking about. She seemed a little lost…maybe even dazed. “Elisha?”

“He was happy,” she blurted out, squeezing his hand a little harder. “He was so happy that he was going to be a father.”

It took a few seconds for everything Elisha told him to register in his mind. At first, he thought he might have been caught up in one of his realistic flashbacks…but after blinking his eyes several times he realized that the situation was real. “A father? But…that means…”

“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “I’ve been pregnant for almost three months.”

Justin felt his heart stop, then start again. “Pregnant?” he gasped.

She nodded.

“When were you two going to say something?”

“He said he was going to tell you,” Elisha explained. “But…I guess he never got around to it.”

He let go of Elisha’s hand, and ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus.”

“Justin, I don’t know what to do. I…can’t do this by myself, and my parents…they’re living in England and I…I’m too scared to tell them. And I can’t tell Belinda or Juan, because they have enough to deal with. I mean, I know you do too…but I figured you were the one person I could talk to that would understand and not freak out.”

“I…” he began, trying to maintain his composure. “Just…tell me what I can do. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

She smiled, and this time it lasted a bit longer. “I need you to just be here for me. I want you to help me with this baby. I know that’s what Trace would have wanted….there’s nobody else he trusted more in the world besides you, Justin. And maybe…we can help each other heal in the process.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by ‘being here’. He lived too far away to ‘be there’ for anybody he knew right now. “What did you have in mind, Elisha?”

“Well I figured that maybe you can move back to LA…maybe back to your house and I can move in there with you. I mean, I can take care of you and arrange for somebody to come to the house and work with you. Kind of like a personal assistant with a bonus. I know it’s kind of a crazy thing for me to be asking you to do right now…but I’ve run out of options.”

The idea would have been ideal, if he wasn’t in the middle of things back at Karen’s. He was just starting to find the strength to take on the battle of his spinal cord injury. And Sheridan, their relationship had only just started out. But he knew that Elisha couldn’t handle the burden of a pregnancy all on her own…and until she sorted things out with Trace’s family, which he knew could take a long time…she would be all alone. He couldn’t let her suffer like that…not if she was carrying Trace’s child. He had a responsibility now, and it was bigger than Karen, bigger than Sheridan…bigger than anything else he had going on. “If you need me to be here for you Elisha…I’m going to be here for you,” he promised her. “I mean, I need to do something, right? You can‘t be expected to do this by yourself.”

“You don’t have to decide right away. Just take a couple of days and think it over, okay? I mean, talk things out with your mom…with that girlfriend of yours and see what’s really important. I don’t want to be the cause of more drama.”

He shook his head. “There’s nothing to decide ‘lish. You’re pregnant with Trace’s baby, and it’s my responsibility to take care of it since he cant. We were brothers…and brothers watch over each other. I‘ll talk to my mother, and hopefully I‘ll be able to get everything in order by next week.”

“But…”

“There’s no buts. I have to do this.”

She smiled. “Thank you so much.”

For a split second he thought he might have been making the wrong decision, but one more look into Elisha’s eyes told him he wasn’t making a mistake. That there was a baby on the way…Trace’s baby…and it was all that mattered.

He just didn’t know how he was going to tell Sheridan.

***************

Professor Jensen already had his students hard at work. Along with her usual ‘welcome back’ packet she received from NYU every summer, there was also a special envelope from Professor Jensen…the head medical professor. Sheridan had groaned the moment she saw his name on the envelope. She never had Professor Jensen before, but she knew he was notorious for springing pre semester term papers on his new students. Marcy had him last semester, and she’d gotten the same treatment. Only Marcy hadn’t bothered to do the term paper.

“Just relax, Sheridan,” Marcy giggled. “It’s just a stupid term paper…blow it off.”

“Marcy,” Sheridan groaned into the phone. “Unlike you…I actually have to try.”

She could hear her friend roll her eyes. “Professor Jensen thinks he’s so tough…springing assignments on people before school even starts. Man, if I hadn’t been able to breeze through his class…I might have been persuaded to give him a piece of my mind.”

Sheridan sighed, and threw the professor’s assignment description she’d been holding onto the coffee table. “But you did breeze through it. Shit Marcy…it says this term paper is worth twenty percent of my grade for the first semester…I can’t just blow it off.”

“Email it to Higby. You know he’ll do it for you,” Marcy cackled.

“Why don’t I just puke all over myself,” Sheridan said. Higby lived a dorm room over from them. He was one of those tough, muscular guys that was always able to say the right thing to win the girl he liked over. He was pre med to top it off, and it was probably the reason Sheridan had decided to give into him in the first place. It was only when she let him take her out that she learned what he was really like. He wouldn’t keep his hands off of her the entire night, despite her demands for him to stop. The night ended on a sour note, to say the least.

She wondered if his package was permanently damaged from the kick she’d dealt to it.

“Aww c’mon…the boy likes you,” Marcy encouraged. “And it‘s not like the boy isn‘t fine.”

“He’s a womanizing bastard,” Sheridan snapped.

“You went out with him what…one time? I don’t think you’re being fair.”

“He wouldn’t stop touching me all night. You know how I feel about that, Marcy.” She still hadn’t told Marcy that she and Justin were involved either. She didn’t think Marcy would be able to understand, because even though Marcy spent a weekend with him…she still saw him as a celebrity…a celebrity that ‘hated her’. If she told Marcy…the most that would happen was she would freak out…and quite possibly tell the entire campus that her best friend was now a “VIP”.

And that wouldn’t be good for anybody involved.

“You should really give him a chance,” Marcy said. “He just…wasn’t thinking. I‘m sure he wouldn‘t be like that if you gave him another chance.”

Sheridan was silent for a moment. “Have you been talking to Higby online, Marcy…did he put you up to this?”

Marcy laughed a little bit, but didn’t respond.

“Marcy!”

“Can you blame me for wanting to hook you up, Sher?” Marcy replied, once her laughter subsided. “Higby was the last guy you went out with for Christ’s sake!”

“And for good reason,” she said. “Besides, I don’t need a man to be happy.”

“Who grabbed your ass?”

At the sound of Justin’s voice, Sheridan’s annoyed frowned turned into a soft smile. She turned around to find him positioned in the doorway, and figured he‘d probably been listening in on her conversation for several minutes. He looked like he was forcing himself to smile, and Sheridan didn’t know what to think about his time with Elisha. All she knew was, he was with her for more than three hours before he‘d called to tell her mother to pick him up. She wondered what they talked about…what kind of things they reminisced about that she could never begin to understand. She waved to him, and he waved back. “Hey Marcy…Justin just came in, can I call you back?”

“Oh sure…make up an excuse,” Marcy grunted. “I’m only your best friend.”

She sighed. “Do you want to say hello…so you can stop telling me I’m a liar?”

“I can’t say hello to him,” she said. “You know that.”

“Oh God…would you stop it please,” she whined. She placed her hand over the mouthpiece and pulled the phone away from her ear. “Justin would you please say hello to Marcy, so we can get on with our lives?”

He shrugged, and held out his hand. “I need to talk to you,” he whispered.

She slowly approached him, and shot him a confused expression. “How’d everything go?”

“That’s what I have to talk to you about,” he nodded, taking the phone from her. Immediately his serious expression faded, and a new, more professional one took its place. “Hey, Marcy? Yeah…this is Justin. I‘m good, how‘re you? Yeah…um…listen…I just wanted to apologize for what happened. I was just upset, and…I didn‘t mean to say those things to you…”

Sheridan’s felt her stomach turn. Something happened with Justin today…something that was either very important…or very bad. What had this Elisha person told him? Had she blamed him for Trace’s death? Had she rubbed that night in his face? She felt the rage begin to boil inside of her, before the sound of Justin’s laughter broke through to her.

“Yea…and…you could be my back up dancer Marce,” he cackled. “Yeah…wheels…we could call it wheels. Sure, I’ll tell her…yeah, it was nice talking to you too. Bye, girl.” He hung up. “Man,” he said, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. “That girl is a riot.”

“So you two are on good terms I take it,” Sheridan said, forcing a smile as she took the phone back from him.

He nodded. “Yeah I guess we are.”

She hesitated for a moment, before repeating the same question she’d asked him before. “So…how’d everything go?”

He sighed. “Well--how about we go on the couch and I’ll tell you everything.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Once they were situated on the sofa, Sheridan picked up the remote and flipped on the television.

“This is happening so fast, Sheridan,” Justin spoke up.

She let out a relieved sigh, thankful that he’d decided to break the ice, and muted the television. “What’s happening too fast?”

He sucked in a breath, and licked his lips. “You know you’re important to me, Sheridan.”

But there’s somebody else… She heard him say the words in the back of her mind, and felt her throat tighten. “Of course I know that. You’re important to me too, Justin.”

He nodded. “A lot of stuff is about to go down. A lot of stuff that--I need to take care of.”

She still didn’t understand. “What kind of stuff?”

He looked directly into her eyes, and gave her a soft kiss on the mouth. “She’s pregnant,” he said, once he broke the kiss.

Sheridan cocked her head to the side. “Elisha is?”

“Yeah,” he said. “And--it’s Trace’s.”

Sheridan felt her eyes widen, and she leaned her forehead on her hand. “Oh my god,” she said slowly.

“She’s three months pregnant,” Justin explained. “And…she’s all alone. I mean, she hasn’t had the strength to tell her own parents. In fact, I’m the only one she’s told--she’s asked me to help her out…to be there for her.”

She stared down at the carpet. The next thing he was going to tell her was that he had to go home. She didn’t know what to do…what to say. He was doing so well…they were doing so well. But now, everything he’d done to improve his physical and mental state was going to be pushed to the side. He was going to put all of his focus on Elisha…and that baby. It wasn’t fair.

Justin deserved this time to fix himself.

“I need you to understand,” he whispered in her ear. He gave her a kiss on the neck. “Please Sher.”

The touch of his lips to her neck sent a million sensations running through her all at once. For a moment she didn‘t think she could protest what he wanted to do. She simply wanted to fall into his chest and kiss him back…she wanted to tell him how much she cared about him. But then the sensible side of her took over, and she managed to pull herself together. “You can’t just…leave,” she managed to say after a moment. “What about everything else?”

“Well that’s the thing,” he explained. “I figured I could get all the equipment put into my house, and Karen could come over there every morning.”

“Do you honestly think that my mother is going to drive an hour and a half out LA and back every day?,” Sheridan laughed. “She’s not going to do that….there are plenty of other people that are willing to take your place. Not everybody can cater to you, Justin.”

He glared at her. “Where is this coming from Sher? I thought you were more mature than this. You’re supposed to understand.”

“I’m supposed to understand how you can push the rest of your life to the side for somebody else?” she said, her tone rising with every word. “Justin…just…no. You need this time for yourself.”

He shook his head. “If Elisha was just going through a bad time it would be different…but she‘s pregnant Sheridan…pregnant and alone. If it were my girlfriend…and I were dead…Trace would have done the same thing for me.”

“You don’t know that,” she whispered.

“But I do,” he said sadly. “And that’s why I have to do this, Sheridan.” He kissed her again, before she could reply. “It’s gonna kill me if you can’t understand that,” he whispered.

She pulled away from him. It killed her to do it, because she wanted to let him know that she supported him, but at the same time she was too upset about him leaving to admit that she supported him.

“Sher--,” he began, reaching out to pull her back toward him. “Come on girl. At least try to think about the point of this whole thing.”

“Well it’s not like I have a damn choice,“ she snapped. “You probably made up your mind about this before you even called my mom to pick you up today. You know, because it doesn’t matter that I care about you more than anybody else I’ve ever known.” Her eyes widened as she finished speaking. That had slipped. She hadn’t meant to be so open with him just then…she was never open with anybody that way. She ran her hands through her hair, and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. She had to look strong…like she could handle this.

He pulled on her arm lightly, and she allowed herself to fall back into his chest. “Baby,” he said softly. “Please don’t think I don’t care about you. I am who I am right now because of you.”

It was the first time he’d ever referred to her as anything other than Sheridan or ‘Sher’. She couldn’t handle this. She needed to push him away and tell him that if he wanted to leave then it was fine because she didn’t need him.

Instead she found herself saying. “If you leave me, I don‘t know what I‘m going to do.”

“I’m not leaving you, Sheridan,” he said, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’m just not going to be living here anymore…there’s a difference. We’ll still see each other as often as we can. I mean hell girl, if I didn’t think your mom would shit, I would have you move to the house with me.”

She knew he meant what he said, but it still didn’t make her feel any better about the situation. In fact, she felt sick to her stomach. If he went home, he would fall back into his old routine with his regular set of friends and family…people that didn’t know her, and most likely didn’t want to. And why would Justin want to be around her if the people in his life didn’t?

He wouldn’t.

“Sheridan?”

She looked up at him. “I know that you have to do this.”

He nodded. “I do.”

She forced a smile. “Then you should do it.“

He sighed. “I don‘t want to leave here with you thinking that I‘m going to forget about you or whatever…because I know you, and I know that‘s how you feel right now.”

She shrugged, and looked away from him. “Whatever happens, happens. There’s nothing you or I can do to prevent the inevitable, Justin.”

“Listen to me,” he said, forcefully.

She sighed, and regretfully met his gaze again.

“I could never forget you,” he said softly, kissing her gently. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be back home right now, sitting on my ass…watching tv and feeling sorry for myself. It’s because of you Sheridan, that I have any self worth at all. How you think I could forget someone like you…I have no idea.”

Justin was trying to balance too many things at once. He had only just found out that Elisha was pregnant, and that was as big of a burden as his therapy was. She felt terrible that he was trying to balance her feelings about the situation on top of everything else that was going on. It wasn’t right, and Justin didn’t deserve it. She decided to deal with her feelings on her own time, and make sure that Justin felt that she accepted everything he’d just told her.

It was easier this way.

“Justin,” she said finally. “I understand that this is important to you. For me to stand in the way of this decision is wrong. You should go…please go.” She swallowed hard, and sucked in a breath.

He kissed her again. When he pulled away, he stared at her for several moments, searching her face for a reaction. She forced a smile, but could tell he wasn’t buying it. “Are you sure?,” he whispered.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

“You don’t look sure.”

“I’m sure,” she said, reassuring him with another kiss. “If our relationship is as strong as I know it is then…this won’t affect us at all. I mean, I’ll come there after work everyday if I have to. The hospital is only about forty minutes from Los Angeles anyway. And on the weekends…I’m sure my mom will let me spend most of my time at your place.”

He smiled. “That’s my girl.” He pulled her into a warm hug. “Thank you so much,” he whispered in her ear. “And you’ll see…everything is going to be okay with us. I know it will.”

Her throat tightened and she didn’t answer. She only hugged him tighter, trying not to let her emotions get their way with her. It scared her that she was becoming so emotional over this. She thought she would have been relieved that he was leaving before she was…but she wasn’t, even though she was going back to New York in a couple of months anyway. Something inside her didn’t want him to leave…something inside her told her that she needed him…that Justin wasn’t the same as all of the other guys she’d taken an interest in back at school.

In fact, she felt that if she were given the chance…she might have been able to love him. She never thought she would ever be able to fall in love. And up until this point in her life, she was sure she didn’t even believe in it. But it didn’t matter. Justin was leaving, going back to his life, his family, and his friends.

And she was sure there was no room for her.