Behind Blue Eyes: JC

February 1999

“Thank you for your hospitality, Lou. It’s been great. I have a plane to catch. See ya.”

I could hardly believe that this whole lawsuit started about a year ago. To me it felt like it started just yesterday. I can still remember looking at my check for the first time and feeling shocked and betrayed when I saw that we only got 25,000 dollars. With all of the merchandise that was sold, tickets that were sold, and CDs that were sold we all knew that we earned more than that.

December last year was when I contacted my Uncle Phil who was a lawyer, with Lance’s push of course, and we met someone he worked with named Helene. She basically told us that we were stuck in the worst contract in music history. She put us in touch with a man named Adam who became our lawyer. After a while he got into contact with Lou’s attorney and Lou claimed that he would do anything to make us happy. He claimed that we were his “boys” and “we were all in this together.” Yeah, like we really believed that. Whatever Adam tried to do to renegotiate the contract Lou would either say no or give another lame reason for us to stay tied with his name and Transcontinental Records. We soon found out that Lou had basically made us sign away a majority of our income that we would earn. The Backstreet Boys, we learned, was in the same position as us and they too had gotten a lawyer and were battling him.

At one point we flew from our homes to Orlando to meet with Lou and, calmly, tell him our arguments. It didn’t work, of course. Lou was being a big obnoxious jerk the entire time. I really just wanted to punch him in the face, do anything to cause him physical harm but Justin had to grab my arm from time to time and squeeze it to keep me in my seat. Once again he claimed that we were nothing but a business to him. Basically he didn’t care that he was walking all over us. At the end of the meeting he “graciously” gave us a room to talk in. It was basically a janitor’s closet and we had no room to sit down or move around really. Adam gave us an ultimatum: either we walk out and he would try to renegotiate or we could stay together and hit Lou with one final offer. Being the optimists we were, we decided to stay. Lou merely laughed in our faces at that offer. I wasn’t in the mood to say and be made fun of any longer so I just got up and left.

Adam and Helene did all they could to get us out of the deal while we sat around still wondering what we were going to do and still broke. It was the happiest day of my life once Adam found a loophole in our contract. He called up Transcon and told them that our contract with BMG was terminated. Then we were on our own to discuss what record company to sign with and, if RCA wanted us again, we were willing to listen to their offer.

Adam and Lou talked all summer. Lou was willing to listen but he suggested we go on the road so we wouldn’t lose our momentum. Which is why, now, we are currently preparing for our US Aint No Stoppin’ Us Now tour. We’re doing this for no one else but the fans; we owe them music for their support in our legal troubles. This is why we’re currently sitting in Johnny Wright’s studio in Orlando trying to come up with a set list for the tour.

“I think we should show that we’re not just singers and dancers,” Justin spoke up after a few minutes of silence. I tapped my pen against the notepad that was in my lap and waited for him to continue. “I mean, we played Giddy Up while we were in Europe and the fans loved that we could play instruments. Why don’t we try that again?”

“I don’t really want to play Giddy Up it sounds so…juvenile,” Chris commented as he threw a ball into the air and caught it.

“You’re the one who giggles at the ‘ride it’ part of the song,” Lance pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

“For good reason,” Chris replied with a shrug and a smile. Justin nudged him and the two started to crack up.

I let out a breath through my nose and waited for the laughter to stop. “I have an idea,” I said slowly. “If you don’t like it, it’s ok. It’s just a suggestion.”

“What is it, C?” Joey asked, spinning in his chair.

“Why don’t we show the fans that we can sing any genre of music?” I suggested. “I know J can do some R&B stuff. I’ve tried some rock stuff while on the MMC set. We should show everyone that we’re a diverse group and we don’t stick with pop.”

“How are we going to do that?” Chris asked, catching the ball and holding it in his hands. “If we pick a song the fans don’t like, that’s it. We have to change the set all over again.”

“Which is why we choose songs that we’re sure they’ve heard and they like,” I replied. “I was thinking we could go through this…timeline of music. We can start out with a few of our songs and then we can launch into the timeline. Like, we start in the 60s; we can sing…That Thing You Do by The Wonders. Or, for the 70s we can sing a Jackson 5 song.”

“And we can dress up in costumes that correspond with that decade!” Chris said as he sat up and grinned. “We can wear large wigs and funky clothes and use dance moves from that decade! C, that’s a great idea.”

“Really?” I asked in shock. I didn’t think they would go along with my idea that fast, not that they never listened to my ideas. It’s just…it sounded good in my head and sometimes things that sound good in my head don’t sound right out loud. I’ve been made fun of for that reason alone, it’s why they call me ‘Space-C’ sometimes. “You think it’s a good idea.”

“Totally, C,” Justin replied, playfully shoving my shoulder. “Did you think we’d laugh at you?” I nodded. “No way, man, you have great ideas.” He jokingly added, “It’s the only reason we keep you in this band.”

“Yeah, we could easily go on without you,” Joey agreed.

“Right.” I put down my pad and pen. “I’ll be right back.”

“Jace, we were just kidding,” Justin spoke up.

“I know. I have to take a piss.”

That wasn’t entirely false, I did really have to take a piss but I wanted to take some refuge in the bathroom as well. I closed and locked the door behind me and stepped over to the mirror. My reflection stared back at me yet I didn’t recognize myself at the same time. Was that really me, with the dull blue eyes and the dark circles? I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. A knock on the door caused me to jump.

“Jace, are you ok in there?” Justin. I should’ve known he’d come to check on me. He’s so caring it gets on my nerves sometimes. I clutched the edges of the sink and took a few deep breaths, shaking my head. “Jace? C’mon, open up!” Justin knocked harder.

“Uh, hold on!” I shouted as I turned on the faucet and water thundered into the sink. I splashed the water onto my face a few times and dried it with the towel that was by the sink. I then turned off the faucet and opened the door, only to receive a fist to my nose. I doubled over in pain, grabbing at my throbbing nose. “What the fuck!? You beat me in the face just because I wouldn’t open the door!?” I cried out.

“C! I’m so sorry, it was an accident!” Justin said as he placed a hand on my shoulder and bent over to try and look at my face. “Is your nose bleeding? Are you ok?”

“Of course I’m not ok, you idiot! I don’t double over in pain because it’s fun!” I wanted to snap at him but I held my tongue. He didn’t really do anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault I’ve had a short fuse lately. “Nah, I think I’m fine,” I said as I stood and blinked away the tears of pain that shot to my eyes. I gingerly rubbed my nose and looked into the mirror. It was a little red but otherwise fine.

“We were just joking, C,” Justin said suddenly. I looked up at him, confused for a few seconds before I noticed the apologetic look in his eyes. ‘What’s he apologizing for? Oh, that.’ “We didn’t mean it,” he continued when I didn’t say anything. “You’re important to this group. You write a lot of stuff for us. You’re like a Dad for us. No one else would stay up and make sure we get back ok. And…and your voice is what we need for our five-part harmony. And without you we wouldn’t be *NSYNC we’d be *NSYN. And–”

“You can stop before you talk my ear off,” I said with a chuckle.

Justin’s eyes widened and he let out a laugh before playfully shoving my shoulder. “Ha, that’s funny.”

“What is?” I questioned.

Justin proceeded to lift his hand to his ear and change his fingers into the fake phone sign. “Hello? Kettle? This is JC. You’re black.”

“Excuse me for being intelligent,” I said in a fake offended tone as I left the bathroom and walked down the hall.

“Your intelligence doesn’t bother us, it’s the fact that you won’t shut up or talk normally,” Justin replied, following me back down the hall. “I mean, you take three sentences to answer a five-answer question. You’re like a textbook, you hold a lot of information but you can be very boring.”

“How would you know what a text book is? You’ve never been to high school,” I pointed out, joining the guys in the rehearsal room where they were sprawled on the floor. I tilted my head slightly and watched as their eyes darted around the room. I was about to ask them what was up when Chris shouted “that light” so loud it caused both Justin and I to jump.

“Nope, guess again,” Joey replied, rolling onto his stomach.

“I’m probably going to regret asking this but…what are you doing?” Justin asked slowly, looking over the scene.

“We’re playing I Spy,” Joey responded. “I’m it and I spied something blue. They’re trying to guess what it is but they’re both wrong!” It was clear by the huge smile on his face that he was happy that whatever he had spied was close to impossible to guess on the first few tries. “J, C, do you guys want to try and guess?”

Justin started shouting out random things around the room that were blue. I really wasn’t in the mood to play, after all we had a tour and a lawsuit to worry about, but I could tell that they wouldn’t let me go that easily. I sighed and looked around the room myself, trying to think like Joey. I gave up after a few minutes and studied his face to try and see if I could look through his eyes and into his mind to try and guess what he was thinking. Joey caught my eye and stared at me for a few seconds before looking away and shaking his head at Lance’s and Justin’s guesses. My eyebrows knitted together. Joey looked at me kinda funny…that’s it!

“I know what it is,” I called over Lance, Justin, and Chris shouting. They all turned to look at me and I smiled a little. “My eyes.” Chris and Justin looked at me as if I was crazy. Lance raised his eyebrows and looked over at Joey who groaned.

“How do you always do that?” He demanded as I grinned and shrugged.

“Lucky guess,” I replied. “I don’t mean to be a downer guys but we should get this set list finalized. That way we’ll have more time to decide what we should wear and the light people can decide what lighting to use and then we can decided if we’re going to use pyro and–“

“And I vote you shut up and we go get something to eat. I’m starving!” Chris said, sitting up and rubbing his stomach.

“No, you’re short,” Justin replied with a smirk.

“Yeah? Well…” Chris paused as he scanned Justin from head to toe. “Well…you’re hair’s curly!”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Nice insult. What’re you, five?”

“No, that’s your IQ.”

I sighed and rubbed my temples to try and stop the inevitable headache that was going to come on in any second. Justin and Chris couldn’t go a day without making fun of each other. Sometimes it was funny but other times it was annoying, such as now, especially since they always seem to get even more juvenile with each fight.

“Ok! Ok!” I yelled over their shouting. “Even though we have a perfectly stocked ‘fridge, we’ll get you some damn food. Ok? Stop yelling!”

“Um, Jace? Technically you’re yelling,” Lance spoke up.

I glared at him and he pressed his lips together, turning his head to face Joey. “Sorry, Pez,” I mumbled letting out a slow breath. Lance smiled at his nickname and I could tell that he was forgiving me. “I’m sorry I yelled. I just…I think it would be best if we stayed here and ate here. Besides, fast food is bad for your arteries.”

“Relax, Old Man,” Justin said as he bumped my shoulder with his. “We’ll be there in back in ten minutes. Fifteen tops.”

“I don’t know…” I sighed. I didn’t want to worry them but I had a bad feeling about going out to get something to eat. My stomach was churning although I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up. A shiver rolled down my spine and my palms flooded with sweat.

“It won’t take long. You can even drive,” Chris said as he swung the keys of my jeep in my face. I looked at my keys then to Chris’ face. “Or I can drive for you.” My lip twitched as I stared at the grin on his face. Chris and my car was not a good combination. Chris with any car was not a good combination for that matter. I really didn’t want to go but I found myself saying, “All right. I’m driving.” Justin and Chris cheered before rushing out of the room. “Tell Johnny we’ll be back soon if he comes looking for us, ok?”

Joey and Lance nodded and I followed Chris’ and Justin’s arguing all the way down the hall, up the stairs, outside, and to my red jeep. They were both standing by the passenger side door arguing over who got to ride shotgun. “Guys! It doesn’t matter! Chris you ride up front on the way there and Justin you ride up front on the way back! Ok? Good! Get your asses in the damn car!”

Justin and Chris both stared at me. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” Chris whispered to Justin. I clenched my teeth and fought not to roll my eyes as I opened my side of the car. I paused when I felt a raindrop on my nose. Looking up I grunted when I saw a wall of gray clouds coming in. Great, just what I needed.

“Someone isn’t a morning person,” Justin replied.